//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - Ka-BOOM! // Story: Cheese Sandwich Gets a 'Real Job' // by PensacolaRanger //------------------------------// "YAAAAAYYY" Everypony CHEERED! But then, suddenly... Cheese went stiff! His mane and tail went into violent spasms, and his hazel green eyes rolled like marbles in their sockets. It was as if he were suddenly having some kind of seizure or attack. "(*GASP*) Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, NO!! Cheesy, what's the matter? Is something wrong?" said Pinkie frantically. "GANG WAY, EVERYPONY! HE'S 'GONNA BLOW!" called Applejack, as the others all ducked for cover wherever they could. Vinyl & Tavi dove under the DJ board. The others all crowded in around Fluttershy under the snack table. "Oh, you guys, cut it out! He's not a bomb or anything-----are 'ya?" asked Pinkie Pie curiously. Impatiently, Rainbow Dash launched out from her hiding spot and soared toward Pinkie. With both forehooves aimed forward, Rainbow Dash shoved her friend out of the way! "NOW!" she bellowed! Pinkie screamed adorably as she sailed across the room, and Dash dove back to the others! KA-BOOOMM!! Like a firecracker, Cheese BURST INTO FIRE AND SMOKE! Mimicking Fluttershy, the others all crouched low and put both forehooves over their eyes. Pinkie did likewise, from across the room. Then...when they were sure the explosion had spent itself, they slowly un-tensed...and raised up to see what had happened. (*GASP*) CHEESE!" Pinkie shrieked in shock! A cloud of smoke and ash had risen, and a crater of black ash with rays had emanated out from the blast-point on the floor, from where Cheese Sandwich had entered the Castle. What stood now in its place, was a smoke-black, frizz-maned & tailed, upright husk of ash and pony hide, looking like the remains of a torched piñata. His cheese-yellow shirt was tattered, and his coat black as soot. His hazel-green eyes were crossed, and when he breathed, plumes of spent gunpowder ash issued forth. Clearly, Cheese was now a burnt sandwich. "H...H---H-H-Help...?" was all the speech he could manage, before he keeled over and fell forward with a CRASH, like a cut tree, a cloud of soot floating up from where he had landed in a belly-flop. "Spike! First aid kit, Stat!" Twilight ordered. "On it!" said Spike, bolting away to fetch it. Slowly, the others came out from under the snack table, as did the musician ponies from their shelter, and gathered in a semi-circle around the smoldering shell of a pony. "Whoa... spontaneous combustion. (Heh) Just like me, back at Froggy Bottom Bog..." Twilight mused, wincing at the memory. "Is....is he dead, Twilight?" asked Rainbow Dash. Pinkie was in too much shock to speak. Twilight bent down close to study Cheese's gunpowder-caked face. Small wisps of dust issued forth from his nostrils. "No, thank goodness. He's breathing, but unconscious." Twilight concluded, levitating the blackened pony into the air with her horn. She turned to the musician ponies. "Sorry, girls; looks like the party's over for tonight. Great music, though, I can tell you've been practicing. Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack will see you to the door, with your bits. Good night, friends. Safe journey home." And with that, and a *POP*, Twilight teleported, floating Cheese and all! Looking surprised, sad and sympathetic, the Music Ponies nodded to each other, and proceeded to pack up their gear. As Tavi cased up her cello & bow and collapsed her music stand, Vinyl wheeled her mobile DJ board & speaker platform to the Mane Entrance doors, and Rarity levitated it gently down to the castle's Mane Pathway. Applejack grabbed a bag of gold bits with her teeth and trotted it over to give to Tavi. Before leaving though, both Music Ponies gathered around a very distraught Pinkie Pie, and enveloped her in a soothing group hug. "Oh, dear, Pinkie, I do hope your friend gets better soon." Tavi offered, with Vinyl nodding in silent agreement. Poor Pinkie could only nod in turn and return the hug, trying not to break down in tears. *** As the Music Ponies left the Castle of Friendship, walking their gear on the DJ Platform-mobile back to the Ponyville rental cottage they shared, Vinyl asked: "Mane, oh, mane...that's 'gotta be the first time I've ever seen the famous Super-Duper Party Pony have a nervous breakdown." "Indeed..." Tavi agreed. But then she stopped mid-trot. "Wait-what? Is that all it was? Just a nervous breakdown?" "Yep." Vinyl confirmed. "Goodness... I'd hate to see what happens to him when he gets mad!" Tavi shuddered. "Whoa-ho-ho! For that, you'd better gallop to the nearest cave!" Vinyl demonstrated a duck-and-cover move. "Oh, please..." Clearly not impressed, Tavi rolled her amethyst eyes in disgust, with a sour look on her face. "Must be something serious, though..." said Vinyl, getting back up, "...business really hasn't been too good for him lately. More and more big-name acts have been taking over the party circuit all over Equestria. His style is...well... goin' outta' style. Knowwuddimean?" "Hmph... He should have stayed with classical music. That never goes out of style!" said Tavi in a haughty manner. "Meh...doesn't sound the same on accordion. Sorry...concertina." said Vinyl, raising her rose-tinted sunglasses to see the way home after dark. "Oh, I don't know...I simply adore his squeeze-box rendition of Rimsky Korsiclop's Flight of the Parasprite!" said Tavi, smiling. They both laugh-whinnied the rest of the way home. *** An hour had passed since the end of the party, and Cheese's collapse. Spike had rendezvoused with Twilight in one of the castle guest bedrooms. While the ex-party pony slept, Spike, Rarity and Fluttershy treated his burn scars and bandaged his mane and tail, then gently tucked him into bed, as Twilight supervised. Once that was settled, she left instructions with Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie to watch him and keep him comfortable, as she, Spike, Applejack and Rainbow Dash trotted off to the Castle Library, for any book research useful for this latest crisis. "Whaddya s'pose it the matter with him, Twilight?" asked Applejack. "I don't know, AJ; I've never made a thorough study of spontaneous combustion cases before." Twilight fretted. "What? Phh--heh-heh, oh, come on, Twilight..." Dash laughed, "...like my case of Double-Rainboom wasn't spontaneous? OOF!" Twilight had stopped suddenly and turned to press noses sternly with Dash! "NO, it WASN'T... THAT was completely VOLUNTARY, BY YOU. Ponyville is STILL cleaning up after the mess YOU made of MY talent-enhancement potion! Not to mention that other mess you made of the Cloudsdale Weather Factory, WHICH you are still on probation for!" Twilight pointed a stiff hoof squarely at Rainbow. "(*Gulp*) Alrightalrightalright, already..." said an uncharacteristically timid Rainbow Dash, backing away more like Fluttershy than her usual cocky self. As they reached the Library, she let Twilight and the others go on in. Rainbow hung back, embarrassed and glowering. "Sheesh... I'm never 'gonna hear the end of either one of those things, am I?" Dash rasped quietly to herself. "NO, YOU'RE NOT, RAINBOW DASH!" called Twilight & Applejack from inside the library. Disgusted, Dash growled like a Diamond Dog, and bolted through the Library double doors. *** More hours passed. It was now past midnight. Cheese's sleep was fitful. Restless. He kept tossing and turning, and murmuring things like: "Aw, come on! That was funny..." or "No, wait, please! Just a little more time, I swear I'll come up with the bits I owe you..." After each thrash, he turned over, and seemed to drift off...only to twitch violently, then pitch and roll again. Fluttershy and Rarity took turns calming him back down, and putting a damp cloth on his forehead, to wipe away the beads of perspiration. All the while poor Pinkie Pie could only sit on her haunches, watching the plight of her fellow party pony from across the bedroom, monitoring the big picture of what was happening, and trying to get an idea of exactly what that was, if only to keep herself from falling apart. "Ohhh...this isn't like him..." Pinkie told herself: "Something's broken... I can feel it..." Indeed she could, as her mane and tail drooped into straight bangs, like they did once before some years back. Then suddenly, Cheese Sandwich opened his eyes wide... and sat up straight! Clearly wide awake now, he craned his head around slowly, to see where he was. "It's not time to get up yet, Darling..." said Nurse Rarity, tentatively. "It's after midnight. You should go right back to sleep..." Nurse Fluttershy cooed, pressing him back down with a gentle but firm hoof. "No, WAIT! Please..." Patient Cheese pleaded, placing a hoof in turn on Fluttershy's. "I have to speak to Pinkie Pie." After a pause, they both looked to Pinkie Pie across the room. Their silent beckon call roused Pinkie to her feet. "Alone....please?" he pleaded again. After another pause, Rarity said: "Oh...um... Yes, of course..." She bowed her head and started ambling toward the double doors. "We'll be just outside if you need us..." said Fluttershy, following in turn. Pinkie Pie was just approaching the foot of the bed, as Rarity closed the doors magically. Fluttershy hunkered down on the floor, perfectly content to sit and wait until needed again. But Rarity, gossip fan that she was, couldn't resist putting an ear to one door to eavesdrop. There wasn't much she could make out. Just snatches of Cheese saying: "Sorry for ruining the party..." and Pinkie saying that was okay. Rarity scrunched her face tighter, trying to hear better. She wondered if Twilight knew of an advanced spell for enhanced hearing, but then Rarity knew perfectly well that if she asked that of Twilight, it would give away her own eavesdropping habit. She didn't have to, though. Soon a shrill "WHAT?" burst from Pinkie's throat! Muffled a bit coming though the door, but clear. Rarity pressed closer, as Fluttershy straightened up quickly, concerned. Curious, she got up slowly, keeping her hoofclops quiet. "NO....NO! YOU CAN'T! (*Sob*) WHY, CHEESY...WHY??" was the next snatch Rarity & Fluttershy could make out. "I HAVE TO! I'VE GOT NO CHOICE! I'VE ONLY GOT 30 DAYS!" Now Cheese was shouting! Something was definitely wrong. "Oh, no...this sounds serious." Fluttershy whispered, but Rarity hushed her anyway. "I'm sorry, Pinkie..." Cheese seemed to be saying: "...I didn't know who else to turn to. And to top it all off, you saw what happened tonight!" "What? What did? Is that why you just exploded all of a sudden? Aw, Cheesy, please tell me, WHAT HAPPENED?" Pinkie pleaded! Another long silence... then, a glass-shattering cry: "IT'S WHAT????" Definitely Pinkie. BOOM-BANG! the bedroom double doors BURST OPEN! Rarity and Fluttershy were knocked off their hooves, landing in horse heaps, eyes spinning. Pinkie Pie ZOOMED through the castle in the direction of the library, rivaling Rainbow Dash for breakneck speed! BOOM-BANG! Again, a pair of double doors BURST OPEN! This time, the Castle Library doors! "TWILIIIIIIGHT!" an alarmed Pinkie Pie HOLLERED at the top of her lungs! SHRIEKS of surprise were followed by books dropping and Applejack & Spike toppling from a ladder, to land on Rainbow Dash, who flew to cushion their fall. "Whew! Thanks, pardner!" said Applejack. "(*Gasp*) d-on-t m-ention-n it..." said the winded Pegasus. "Pinkie Pie...this may be a Castle Library, but it is STILL A LIBRARY! There's no need to SHOUT!" Twilight admonished. "Then why are you doing it?" asked Pinkie in a playful tone. "I... (*grrrr*) what is it, Pinkie Pie?" asked Twilight, in as assertive a manner as she could muster. Rushing up to the Princess of Friendship, the horrified Laughter Pony grabbed her face, and brought it close to hers! "IT'S CHEESE SANDWICH!" said Pinkie, dramatically: "HIS CHEESY SENSE IS...(*Gulp*).... BUSTED!" [CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER...]