//------------------------------// // 432. Answer by Palaikai // Story: The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab // by Fuzzyfurvert //------------------------------// by Palaikai *** “Twilight, my faithful student, you can talk to me about anything.” These words echoed in the mind of the Princess of Friendship as she prepared yet another piece of paper, placing it, with a soft exhalation of irritation, on the slanting desk in front of her. A quill hovered tentatively in the air, caught in the magenta aura of Twilight Sparkle's magical field, never quite dipping low enough for the nib to put ink to parchment. Writing a letter to Princess Celestia had never been this galling, Twilight thought bitterly, chewing nervously on her bottom lip, but then this isn't just another friendship report. Well, that wasn't quite true; friendship certainly formed part of the letter's overall message, but the broader theme was something altogether … else. Something that was impossible for even the best quill tip to put too fine a point on. How can I tell the Princess that I love her? “Love.” Twilight said the word out loud. It sounded alien, strange, to her. It didn't take too long to figure out why: she said it all the time – just this morning she was telling Pinkie Pie that she loved the new range of glazed doughnuts Sugarcube Corner had on offer – thus there was a slight element of cognitive dissonance at work. Why do we use the same word to signify a deep connection between two ponies as we do to express our hankering for baked goods? Maybe I should write that? If anything, I'm sure it'd be one of the more unique compliments Celestia's ever received in her long life: I have almost the same depth of feeling for you as I do for deep-fried batter. Unless it has apricot jam in it, in which case you're out of luck. Sucking in a great lungful of breath, Twilight's eventual sigh sounded more like the existential howl of an animal confronted with the purposeless futility of life. Turning her eyes on the scroll again, she was shocked to see that her subconscious mind had taken control of her magic temporarily and had written down her insane internal monologue. Groaning, she crumpled up the piece of paper and deposited it with ten thousand of its brethren in an overflowing waste basket. It wasn't often she was glad that Spike was out – he was away mooning over Rarity in the guise of helping her out around the shop – but Twilight didn't want anypony, even him, who had seen her eat three jars of apricot jam when the last Daring Do novel had ended on a downer, to see her like this. It was pathetic. Her thoughts turned to the baby dragon and she wondered how Spike was able to cope with his crush as coolly as he did. How he coped with the jealousy when anypony even so much as spoke to Rarity. How he coped with knowing that it couldn't possibly work out. He couldn't possibly be content just being around her all the time, could he? Or had he accepted that as the extent of their relationship, and was happy to take what was offered? So many questions, so few answers. Proposition: How do I tell the Goddess of the Sun that I am in love with her? Feasible alternatives: Go and bury my head under a rock until we're the only two ponies left in Equestria, then she'll have to have a relationship with me by default in order to repopulate the species! (Dial back on the craziness a tad, Sparkle. Love, The Fragile Remnants of your Self-Respect.) Conclusion: Would telling her to her face REALLY be the worst thing in the world? Summary: Everything hates me. I want apricot jam. Spike has it too easy. Just fly over to Canterlot and tell her? Could that work? Twilight's mulberry eyes scrutinized the veritable mountain of papers that she'd gone through, trying to find the right words to express her feelings. The right words, as if so ephemeral a concept actually existed. She could save herself the effort of flying, of course, but she wanted to give herself some time to think; maybe there were no right words, and she should just come out and say that one simple, effective phrase that ponies have been saying to each other since time immemorial, but didn't Princess Celestia deserve something a bit more special than that? Doesn't she deserve somepony a bit more special than me? No! Now was not a time for self-doubt. The worst that Celestia could do is reject her, and Twilight felt herself ready for that, if only to get the weight off of her withers once and for all. Stepping outside the Castle of Friendship, Twilight found Ponyville bathed in a sea of ruddy orange light; Celestia's magic was at work, lowering the sun so that Luna could raise the moon in turn. From what she knew of her habits, the princess would soon be taking her evening meal, followed by her winding down routine, then off to bed for an early night. Twilight elected to try and catch her after dinner. Nopony liked having their meals interrupted after all, even if it was for a good cause. Rainbow Dash would doubtless have critiqued her ungainly running start, but flying was still a new thing to her; she was sure that she'd master it in time, but the tingly feeling of nervous anticipation punching her gut out of shape wasn't exactly helping matters. Looking down, she saw the rooftops of Carousel Boutique, Sugarcube Corner, and even the distant outlines of Fluttershy's cottage and Sweet Apple Acres looked close enough to touch with her alicorn-enhanced senses sharpening every detail, all picked out in delicate shades of vermilion. Had she asked them, Twilight knew that her friends would support her decision. Some of them had guessed already, while the others merely joked about the way she turned beet red every time she was in the princess' company. Rarity, so obsessed with romance, had been the first to notice, of course: “Darling,” Rarity had said while fitting Twilight for a dress for the upcoming gala, “when are you going to tell her how you feel?” “What do you mean?” replied Twilight, acting the innocent. “Nice try.” Rarity had pulled the laces of the bodice so tight that she'd practically liquefied Twilight's internal organs. “When are you going to tell Princess Celestia that you're in love with her?” “How did you know about that?” Twilight took several deep breaths while checking that all of her bones were still in more or less the right places. “It's written all over your face, dear. To say nothing of the way you follow her around like a little lost puppy whenever you're at a function together.” The white unicorn clapped her hooves together and screeched like a filly. “Oh, it's so romantic! Falling in love with a princess.” “I'm a princess, too, y'know.” Rarity's enthusiasm refused to abate at this information, however. “Still, though ...” Shaking her head free of these thoughts, Twilight continued her journey; the last of the thatched-roof cottages gave way to wide open fields, hills, babbling brooks … all of them bathed in the light of Celestia's sun. The castle was but a distant speck on the mountaintop. The cool breeze washing over the land was refreshing, taking the edge off the last of the dying heat, and Twilight leaned into it a bit more, enjoying the way it ruffled her mane dramatically. There were precious few times in life when you felt more like a superhero than when you were soaring over the land that it was your duty to protect, and even if she wasn't very good at flying, Twilight knew that it was not a feeling she would willingly give up. “Princess Celestia,” she said out loud, testing the water, “I love you.” No. Too quick. Too direct. I need to cushion it with something. “Princess, we've known each other for so long ...” Yeah, remind her that she's watched me grow up from a filly. That isn't weird at all when I'm trying to confess my feelings. “Princess, I have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for you ...” Ugh. That's exactly the kind of thing that creep Blueblood would say right before saying the most disrespectful thing he could think of. Panting hard, wings a chaotic jumble, Twilight came in for a landing in the castle's courtyard. How did Rainbow Dash make flight seem so effortless? Somewhere deep in that girl's ancestry was a mad relative who had been overly familiar with an eagle or something. Grateful to be able to use her legs again, even if they were a bit wobbly, she walked along the cool stone path to the entrance, her mind in turmoil. Half of her being wanted to break into a trot until she reached the throne room, and the other half wanted to run all the way back to Ponyville and commence with her contingency plan of hiding under a rock. “Princess Twilight Sparkle,” a guard said, bowing theatrically. “I wasn't aware you had business with Princess Celestia tonight.” “I don't,” replied Twilight, nodding politely at the guard. “I'm here on a, er, personal errand.” “Go right ahead,” he said, gesturing inside. “She should just be finishing dinner.” Twilight allowed herself an internal cheer, glad that her impeccable timing skills hadn't diminished. “Thank you.” “Princess.” Legs taking on the consistency of jelly all the way, Twilight made her way to the throne room. Celestia would just be in the process of telling a bored-looking Luna about any minor tasks that needed to be attended to during the night. Her heart hammered in her chest until she was certain that somepony was going to tell her to keep it down. Luna would be flitting off to make preparations. Hammer! Celestia would be about to head to her chambers. Hammer! Her hoof faltering in mid-air, Twilight tapped weakly on the heavy oak door. “Enter,” Celestia called. If she was surprised or annoyed at somepony making demands on her time when she was supposed to be off the clock, she certainly wasn't showing it in her voice, which was as pleasantly lilting as ever. Releasing a breath that she didn't even realise she was holding, Twilight pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Despite the calming bluish tint the raised moon lent to the room, her insides felt as knotted as they had when Rarity had tried her best to compact them. “Hello, Princess,” said Twilight, almost choking on those two simple words. “Twilight!” Celestia's smile managed to light the room up by itself, and Twilight felt herself buoyed by it. “What brings you here?” “I, uh, there's something that I, um, want to tell you ...” If Celestia noticed her stammer, she was polite enough not to mention it. “Which is?” Twilight looked up at the princess – something that she had been doing for almost her entire life – and for the first time she felt as if she were looking at another pony, not an all-powerful goddess. The distance she maintained from those around her felt curiously absent, as if it were something that could be activated with a flick of a switch. Maybe it was? Maybe there was an element of magic to it? Twilight shook her head, desperately trying to regain her focus. “I love you.” Huh. That wasn't so hard after all. Before Celestia could say anything, Twilight pressed on, “I mean, I love you in a romantic sense. I would like for you to be my special somepony. I, uh-” “Twilight ...” “-no, let me finish, please!” Amazingly, she felt lighter for having got the confession off her chest. “I don't mind if you don't feel the same way about me, Princess. It's just something I had to tell you.” She affected a smile which quickly dissipated as the enormity of what she'd said hit her. “Um, should I go now?” “No, I think you should stay,” Celestia said, her shimmering, translucent mane covering her eyes for a moment. “We have much to discuss.” It wasn't the reply that she had been expecting. Even a refusal would have been less vexing than this. “Of course, Princess,” Twilight said, the confusion evident by the contorted set of her muzzle. The room seemed to grow half a degree colder and when Celestia spoke, it wasn't with her usual harmonious tone, but something altogether … plainer. “I had my suspicions regarding your feelings for me, Twilight, but I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. Now that I am, I feel there is something you must know about me.” In the blink of an eye, pure, snow-white Celestia with the iridescent, multi-hued mane was gone, and in her place stood … somepony else. Her coat was light grey, there were deep lines on her face, and her mane was a dark blue with none of its usual lustre. “I am thousands of years old. You knew that already, of course, but perhaps you didn't know this about me. The appearance to which you've become accustomed is nothing more than a carefully applied glamour spell. This-” she waved a foreleg in front of her muzzle “-is the real me. I love you, too, Twilight, and I would very much like to be your special somepony, but a relationship can only work if both parties are honest with each other from the outset.” After her initial bout of shock, Twilight adjusted quickly. It had never been about looks, and a warm glow suffused her as she realised the depth of trust that Celestia was placing in her. This was more than giving her a title and a castle, she was handing her the keys to her heart. Twilight approached Celestia and placed a tentative kiss on her cheek. “You're still beautiful to me, my princess.”