//------------------------------// // Humans in Ponyville, Chapter 4 // Story: Sunflower - Life in Equestria // by Hoopy McGee //------------------------------// Dust from the streets of Ponyville, stirred up by the hooves of the residents and helped along by a mild breeze, coated Michelle Baranski’s arms and face with a light grit. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it weren’t for the bright spring day being warm enough to cause her break out into a light sweat, giving the dust a good surface to cling to. With the look of the town, with all the thatched roofs and old-world architecture, it reminded her of her teenage years, back when she would go with friends to their local Renaissance Festival, located just on the outskirts of Des Moines, Iowa. Granted, none of the ponies were dressed up in period costumes, though that would have been adorable. In fact, they typically weren’t dressed at all, except for the occasional accessory such as scarves or hats. For the most part, that wasn’t a problem, but every once in a while Michelle’s eyes would happen to catch a glimpse of a body part that, in human society, would likely get that person arrested. Adding to her nervousness was the small crowd of ponies that had gathered to watch her and Tandy work, chatting softly to each other while keeping their distance. It was a level of scrutiny made her a little uncomfortable, which in turn made her even more sweaty, which increased the amount of dust that was sticking to her. Instead of dwelling on it, she focused as much as possible on the task at hand, which currently meant standing on top of a short stepladder in order to install a mounting bracket under the eave of the building they were working on. The building, a cozy little combination of flower shop and residence, was owned by a pink-coated mare named Daisy, who was staring at them while they worked. “Try not to damage the exterior more than necessary,” Daisy called to them from the front of her shop. “Yes, ma’am,” Michelle called back. “Is that the whole thing?” “No, it’s the mounting bracket,” Michelle replied. “The repeater will attach to this, once I get it in place.” Daisy sniffed, her ears flat on her head. She pointed a hoof at the repeater, which Tandy was unboxing. “Is that the thing?” Since Tandy didn’t seem interested in replying, Michelle had to answer again. “Yes, ma’am.” “I don’t like the color,” Daisy said. “It clashes.” Michelle was barely able to check an exasperated sigh. The last thing they needed was for the mare to change her mind. “It can be painted to whatever color you like.” The mare blinked at that. “It can? That won’t hurt it?” “No, ma’am. It’s weather-proofed. Once we seal it up, you can paint it to your heart’s content.” “Wait, wait,” Daisy said, waving a hoof and frowning. “I have to paint it? Not you?” Michelle ground her teeth together and shot an exasperated glance at Tandy, who was studiously ignoring both human and pony. No help would be coming from that quarter. “We’re only contracted to install it, ma’am.” She allowed herself a smile as she added, “Besides, if you do it, at least you’ll know the color will be right.” Daisy’s frown didn’t lighten at all. “I’m just glad the Mayor is going to be paying me for this, or it wouldn’t be worth it.” With that, the mare turned and walked away, presumably to go back to work in her store. Michelle finally let out the pent-up sigh she’d been holding on to for so long. It was the mention of a monthly stipend that had finally swayed the mare into letting them install the wireless repeater on the outside of her home-slash-business in the first place. Michelle hadn’t bothered telling her that it was actually the US government that was paying for it, and not the Mayor’s office. “So, what’s that thing?” a young voice piped up from ground level. Michelle glanced down at three young fillies who were staring up at her with wide eyes. Unlike the adults, who were happy to watch them work from the roadside, the fillies had come right up to them. The one who had spoken was a light yellow filly with a pink bow in her red mane. She was flanked by a unicorn on her left and a pegasus on her right. They were, as far as Michelle was concerned, the most adorable things she’d ever seen. “It’s a wireless repeater,” Michelle said, holding the device up. It was deceptively heavy for its size, the weather-proofed and tamper resistant smooth white plastic case specially designed to use Ponyville’s spotty DC current. Most of the weight came from the built-in battery which was installed to even out the current and keep it working without a hitch. “What’s it for?” the pegasus asked. “It’s complicated and you wouldn’t understand,” Tandy said from the bottom of the stepladder as she sorted out the cabling. She was apparently a lot less impacted by the sheer adorableness of their new fan club than Michelle was. The pegasus took a half-step back, her ears drooping. “I was just curious.” Michelle, not being able to handle the look of wounded pride on the filly’s face, took over the explanation, ignoring Tandy’s irritated snort. “It’s for a wireless network,” she explained. “It makes it so that some types of human devices can talk together.” “Talk? Talk how?” the unicorn asked in a chirping voice. “And what ‘devices’?” “Well, you see…” she started. “We’re kind of busy, kids,” Tandy said, interrupting. “Can’t you run along and play?” The work continued in relative silence for a few minutes as the three little fillies held a whispered conference amongst themselves. Finally, the redheaded pony spoke up. “By the way, I’m Apple Bloom. This here is Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” “Nice to meet you, girls. I’m Michelle, and my coworker is Tandy.” “Hey,” Tandy said, still working on the cabling and not bothering to look up at the fillies. “Any way we can help?” Apple Bloom asked. “I’m pretty good with tools.” Michelle gaped in horror at the filly for a moment before forcing a smile. “I’d love to let you, but I don’t think our insurance carriers would be happy about it. Besides which,” she said, holding up her electric drill and pulling the trigger a couple of times, causing the thing to whirr loudly. “I don’t think your hooves will work with our tools.” She didn’t miss the avaricious glint in the filly’s eyes as she looked at the power tool and promptly decided to make sure she kept a very close eye on her tools while the fillies were nearby. “I can do magic!” Sweetie Belle offered, doing an excited little prance that melted Michelle’s heart. “I’m sure I could help!” “What kind of things can you do with magic?” Michelle asked. Aside from levitation, she hadn’t seen much in the way of magic from the ponies. “Um… Well... “ she looked down at the street while she scuffed a white hoof in the dirt. “I can make my horn glow,” she said, blushing. “Usually.” “We have flashlights,” Tandy said brusquely. “Why do you want to help, anyway?” The trio exchanged looks. Apple Bloom, who seemed to be more or less the leader, piped up. “We were thinkin’ this may be what gets us our cutie marks.” Their briefing before heading to Equestria had included, amongst many other things, a short summary of cutie marks. Michelle didn’t really understand them or where they came from, but she knew it was of huge cultural significance to the ponies. A quick glance at the filly’s hip indicated that it was, indeed, unadorned. Michelle sighed and turned back to the bracket she was trying to install, slotting a couple of rails into place in the assembly. “So, you think you’ll find your purpose in setting up Wi-Fi repeaters?” “Well, maybe,” said Scootaloo with a touch of defiance in her voice. “We haven’t found anything yet, but maybe that’s because none of the things we tried were human-related.” “It would make sense,” Sweetie Belle said in a reasonable tone of voice. “We’ve tried everything we could think of in Ponyville, and nothing worked. So maybe that means that our cutie marks might have something to do with Earth?” “It would be awful if we went our whole lives, never finding our purpose just ‘cuz we never got to try out human stuff,” Apple Bloom added. “So, can we help?” Sweetie Belle asked, then all three of them together pleaded, “Pleeease?” Michelle glanced down at her audience and then froze. The three little fillies were looking up at her with big, soulful eyes, droopy ears and pleading expressions, which even included a trio of wobbly bottom lips. It was the closest thing she’d ever seen to weaponized cuteness. “No,” Tandy said, as blunt as a brick wall. “Not even a remote chance.” The three fillies held the look for a moment longer before they broke. “Well, it was worth a shot,” Apple Bloom muttered, kicking at the grass with a hoof. “Come on, girls. Maybe we can try chicken wranglin’ over at Fluttershy’s again.” Michelle’s heart was in her throat as the three fillies slumped away, heads down and tails drooping as their hooves dragged through the dirt road. “Don’t do it,” Tandy warned, causing her to jump. “Uhm. Do what?” “I know that look. Those three little cuties got to you.” Tandy smirked at Michelle’s look of surprise, adding, “I’ve seen it over and over again growing up with my little sisters. They’d turn on the sad puppy eyes and my mom and dad would cave.” “They looked so miserable though,” Michelle said, looking after the three of them as they trudged down the street. “Eh, they’ll be fine,” Tandy said as she unpacked the power supply for the repeater. “Did you want to be tripping over them all day?” “Well, no…” “Give them ten minutes—twenty, tops—and they’ll be just fine,” Tandy assured her. Michelle sighed and got back to work, attaching the wireless repeater to the freshly-installed mount while Tandy secured the power line down the outside of the house. She looked up just in time to see little the earth pony say something to the other two, who perked right up at whatever it was she’d said. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Human Investigators!” the three of them shouted together, adding a “Yay!” at the end for good measure. Michelle gaped as the three of them ran off, any sign of of their previous distress completely gone. Something in her gut told her to be worried about what just happened. “Looks like it took a lot less time than ten minutes for them to get over that,” Tandy noted wryly. “Yeah, I guess,” Michelle said with a laugh. She looked at the repeater, now nice and tight in its mount. Tandy had attached the power cord securely to the wall, though she’d left some play at the end. A Ponyville-certified electrician by the name of Sparky would be coming along later to actually attach it to the building’s electrical system. She wasn’t sure if Sparky was his actual name or just a nickname. It could be hard to tell with ponies. “Well, let’s get on to the next one, shall we?” Michelle said as she hopped off of her ladder. A quick consultation with their tablet-based map pointed her towards their next target. “Let’s see…Lily’s house should be this way. All set?” Tandy had already packed their gear onto the cart they were using to haul the equipment around. “All set.” Together, they made their way into town and towards their next destination. ~~*~~ Rob Walters blinked the grit out of his eyes as the breeze once again flung more of the road into his face. He was getting paid well for this trip to tiny pony land, and far be it for him to argue about the nature of the job, but it seemed damned strange to him to set up wireless internet in a town that hadn’t even bothered to pave most of its roads. As weird as the rest of Ponyville was, the “building” he most recently found himself in front of of took the cake, managing to be even crazier than the shop that looked like a giant jester’s hat. Part of his brain was telling him that there was no way this was what it looked like. The ponies, he deduced, must have applied those same crazy building techniques to their library, fashioning it into a very convincing, but ultimately fake, tree. That part of his mind steadfastly ignored his senses, which were busy pointing out little details like bark on the outside of the library, and the green leaves that fluttered in the breeze. The tree had to be fake. “This one gets a repeater both outside and inside of the building, right?” he asked his co-worker. “Yeah,” Erika replied from somewhere in the vicinity of his right elbow. It briefly occurred to him to wonder if it was Jerry’s idea of a joke to assign the tallest and shortest person on the team together. Maybe he thought they would even out to an average height, or something. The fact that Erika almost never spoke more than absolutely necessary meant that most jobs with her tended to consist of long periods of awkward silence. Well, awkward for him. She seemed unperturbed by the whole thing. “Right, let’s see if anyone is in,” he said before giving the door three firm knocks. A moment later, a scratchy voice from inside snapped, “It’s a public library, you know. You don’t have to knock!” Rob glanced down at Erika, who shrugged before opening the door and walking in, leaving the battery-powered hand truck parked in the grass next to the door. He left the propped ladder against the exterior wall and grabbed his folder full of paperwork off of the top of the boxes stacked on top the hand truck before following her. He had to bend almost double to avoid rapping his head on the top of the library’s door frame. Pony-sized doors were definitely a problem for taller humans. The interior of the library was wood. Wood floor, wood walls, wooden shelves carved into the walls, wooden ceiling, all polished until it glowed. All joined seamlessly and, apparently, organically. He marveled at the skill of the pony craftsman—craftspony?—who had built the place. The place smelled of musty old books intermingled with the sharp scent of fresh ink, layered on top of a citrus odor he guessed was probably wood polish. And underlying everything, of course, was the scent of wood. To his surprise, Erika was looking around with a wide-eyed expression of wonder rather than her typical blank stare, her eyes gleaming as she wore the biggest, and possibly only, smile he’d ever seen on her. He found that vaguely unsettling. According to their map, this place was both the town library and the home of one Twilight Sparkle. Every news station back on Earth reported that she was the leader of a group of six ponies, each of whom wielded one of a set of insanely powerful magical artifacts. As upsetting as it was to think of magic being real, there was no denying that it was. Especially after seeing what had happened to the Black Tide when Twilight and her friends went after it. Her picture, as well as most of her friends except for the rarely-glimpsed Fluttershy, had been all over the news for the last few months. He had been looking forward to meeting her. The unicorn mare in front of him was not Twilight Sparkle, though she could have passed for her grandmother. She looked as much like a stereotypical librarian as a pony could, with her iron-grey mane done up in a tight bun as she glared at them through the red-framed catseye glasses perched on the end of her muzzle. She had a pencil lodged in the crease between her right ear and her mane, and a spiral notepad dangled from a string around her neck. Her coat was a dark grey, like a thunderstorm, which matched her scowl as she took the two of them in. “Humans, eh?” she said after she finished sizing them up. “Can’t say as I’ve ever had your kind in my library before, but I don’t mind as long as you don’t make a mess.” “Your library?” Rob repeated. “I thought you said it was a public library.” In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Rob’s smile wilted like a flower at noon in Death Valley. He’d meant that lightly as a way to break the ice. Judging from the freezing cold glare the librarian was auguring into him, no ice had been broken. It didn’t help his pride one bit that Erika was giving him a look that was equal parts pitying and exasperated. “I, uh… I meant it as a joke,” he ventured lamely into the silence. “A joke?” The librarian arched an eyebrow. “We have books on those. Can’t say I’ve ever read any of ‘em.” He started stammering out an apology, which the librarian waved off with one of her forehooves. “Relax. That was a little joke of my own,” she said, smirking. Rob flushed hotly while Erika let out a low chuckle at his expense. So much for human solidarity. He cleared his throat and attempted to gather the tattered shreds of his dignity together, straightening up until his head almost brushed the ceiling of the library. “Anyway, we’re not here for books,” he said, a little stiffly. “My name is Rob, and this is my co-worker, Erika. We’re here to install a wireless repeater.” The mare hummed and tapped her chin with a hoof. “Hm. I haven’t heard about any installations, and I don’t have a single clue as to what a ‘wireless repeater’ is. In any case, I’m not about to allow that, not without a form signed by the mayor and approved by Twilight Sparkle.” “I’ve got the forms right here,” Rob said, opening his folder and pulling out the pertinent forms. He let out an involuntary yelp when the papers started glowing an icy blue before yanking themselves out of his hands. “Where is Twilight Sparkle, if you don’t mind me asking?” Erika asked. “Hmm? Oh, she’s in Canterlot. Some business for the Princess, I gather. I’m filling in for her.” The librarian studied the papers with narrowed eyes and pursed lips before sighing and floating them back over to Rob, who took them gingerly and placed them back in his folder, unconsciously wiping his hand on the front of his pants after he did so. “Well, it all seems to be in order,” she said. “Will it take long?” “No, it shouldn’t,” Erika said. “Most of the time will be figuring out where to put it so it’s unobtrusive and out of the way, but still close enough to hook into the library’s electricity.” “Unobtrusive, hmm? I approve of that.” The mare gave out an almost genuine-looking smile. “My name is Mrs. Stacks, by the way.” Erika shook her hoof first. Rob had to kneel in order to grasp it, shaking the hoof gingerly while trying to ignore the fact that he was basically holding one of her feet in his hand. He gave it a gentle shake, then waited until she glanced away before he surreptitiously wiped his hand on his pants while wishing he’d brought along some hand sanitizer. Who knew what ponies walked through during the course of their day? “So, what do you need for this doohickey of yours?” Mrs. Stacks asked. “Ideally, it should be mounted on a ceiling,” Rob said. “As close to the center of the structure as possible, so we get the best signal strength possible throughout. And it should be near an electrical outlet.” “Hmm. Second floor, then.” Mrs. Stacks led the way to a short, narrow staircase, with Rob and Erika trailing behind. “This place is pretty impressive,” Rob said as they ascended the staircase. Hopefully, complimenting the mare on the library would get him into her good graces after his earlier faux pas. “How’d the builders manage to make it look so life-like?” Mrs. Stacks looked over her shoulder at him, one brow arched . “It wasn’t built, it was grown. It’s life-like because it’s alive.” She turned away and climbed the last few steps to the second floor, ignoring Rob as he goggled at her for a long moment. He finally started moving again when Erika jammed her index finger into his rib cage. “That’s not possible!” he managed as he reached the top of the stairs and walked out onto the second floor. “This tree is all hollowed out! It should be dead!” “Earth pony magic,” Mrs. Stacks said as she turned to face them. “Old magic, too, and powerful. This library’s been here for over ninety years.” With a wink, she added, “Of course, it’s gotten a bit bigger since then. Only had two floors when I was a filly, now it’s got three.” “But… how?” The old librarian shook her head. “I have no idea. You could ask an earth pony about it, if you can actually find one who knows how it was done. I researched it a little when I was younger, but whoever grew the place didn’t bother writing anything down. What little bit I could find out didn’t make a lick of sense to me. But, then, I’m a unicorn, not an earth pony, so I suppose it wouldn’t.” Rob swayed a little as his brain tried to process what he’d just been told. “In any case, I was thinking you could install it next to the ceiling light, maybe use the same electrical current?” Mrs. Stacks said, pointing a hoof at the fixture in question. “That should work,” Erika said. “Do you know Mister Sparky?” “Town electrician?” Mrs. Stacks smiled and seemed to thaw a little at the name. “I know him, yes.” “He’s going to be doing all of the electrical work,” Erika continued. “You should see him in a day or two.” “Right.” The mare’s horn glowed again, and the pencil lifted itself from behind her ear as the notepad rose up before her face, both items surrounded by that same icy blue aura. She made a note before placing the pencil behind her ear again. “So, what exactly does this doohickey do?” Erika looked over at him, a question clear in her eyes. “Why don’t you tell her?” Rob answered, his voice faint. “I, uh, I’ll go get the stuff from the cart.” She shrugged and started giving the old mare what sounded like the beginning of a very abstract version of what Wi-Fi was and what it was going to be used for. Rob made his way down quickly down the stairs and onto the first floor of the library. He made his way to the center and turned slowly in place, trying to take it all in. Then walked over and put his palm on the interior wall of this supposedly-alive tree. It only took him a few seconds before he yanked his hand back. Then he went outside and picked at the bark until a small piece came off, examining it for a few minutes before dropping it in favor of plucking a leaf off of one of the branches overhead. He examined the leaf closely, then dropped that too. The wood of the interior had been warm to the touch, and it felt fresh, not dry at all. The little piece of bark looked authentic, and there wasn’t any glue on the back to hold it to the tree. The leaf had obviously been alive before he pulled it off of the branch. There was no doubt about it. The tree was alive. It took a few minutes for Rob’s heart to stop racing. Just the other day, he’d stepped through a portal between worlds and into a place that looked like a city out of a fairy tale. He had been greeted by pony-like aliens on the other side before taking a train ride to a town full of them, a place where magic actually worked, and where the practitioners of that magic used it for the most mundane things imaginable, like writing. They’d had many briefings before they’d left, and he had been sure he was ready for whatever they would encounter, but this library had thrown him for a complete loop. He wasn’t sure why it had impacted him this way. Maybe it was because the ponies, for all their strangeness, were at least consistently strange. All their weirdness was wrapped up in one package, take it or leave it. But the tree was different. Trees were familiar to him, or they had been. To see one shaped this way by magic while still keeping it alive… for the first time since he’d arrived, the realization struck him, deep down in the core of his being, how very very far away from home he was. Eventually, his breathing slowed back to a normal rhythm. He was intensely aware of the fact that Erika would be waiting on him and wondering what was taking so long. She might even come out to investigate, which meant that she see him as a quivering mess over a stupid tree. At that thought, he managed to pull himself together. He grabbed a few of the things he’d need off of the cart and, bracing himself, went back inside the magical, enchanted tree library. No matter how crazy everything was, he still had a job to do. Now, if only he could get his hands to stop shaking...