Ah can’t believe ah’m fussin’ over my hair this much. Ah ain’t like Rarity. It’s just hair. Yet, ah can’t help comin’ it and lookin’ at it in the mirror. Was it good lookin’? Did my fur not shine bright enough? Should ah go get Rarity to help? Gah, why do ah care if my fur shines enough or not? Discord wouldn’t care. He loves me for me, but what if he losin’ interest in me? He wouldn’t….
Ah gotta comb my hair again. Argh, why was this so frustratin’. Yes, this was the first time ah’ve dated someone. He wasn’t like those stallions who only cared for looks. He chose me because...well, he chose me because an apple fell on his head. Yeah, not the most reassuring reason he started wooin’ me. He still loves me though. Ah can tell. Ah just didn’t know if ah loved him though. It was happenin’ so fast. Ah liked him. Ah really really liked him. He made me feel so wanted. Is that love? Ah wanted it to be. He made me happy. Well, when he wasn’t playin’ the part of a blasted varmint.
That’s when ah heard somepony knockin’ on my door. Ah walked out of the bathroom and looked at my bedroom door. “Yes?” The knockin’ started up again, ‘cept it wasn’t comin’ from my bedroom door. Ah frowned and turned my head. It was comin’ from my closet. “Huh?” Ah trotted over and quickly opened it. “Discord? What are ya doin’ in my closet and what’s with yer mane?”
It was indeedy the blasted varmint ah was fussin’ about not a moment before. Maybe he’s a mind reader and heard me. He’d have a lot to make fun of if he did and it’d explain a thing or two about his antics. Right now though...Ah don’t think he did. He had this thousand yard stare on him that beat any ah’ve seen before. HIs mane was….it was...Rainbow Dash’s? Couldn’t be anypony elses. “What the hay are ya wearin’?”
“Dashie’s mane,” Discord said in a sort of mechanical way as he walked past me. Ah gave him a concerned frown when he just laid back on my bed.
“The real one’s?”
Discord nodded. “I...I’ve come to a shocking realization about our prismatic friend.”
“So ya stole her mane?” Ah narrowed my eyes. Discord always did come to the stupidest decisions. Well, not always stupid. He realized he liked me after all.
“Switched actually,” Discord twiddled his thumbs and stared at the cielin’. Ah didn’t like how out of it he seemed. “I just wanted to get inside her head for a bit.”
“So switchin’ manes helps ya understand her?” What is in that varmint’s head?
“Isn’t it obvious,” Discord lifted his head with a smile. “If one is to understand another, they must walk a mile in their hair.”
“It’s shoes, Discord. It’s ‘walk a mile in their shoes’.”
“But she never wears shoes….” Discord tapped his chin, causin’ a different sound each time. “Nor do most of you ponies. Why come up with a phrase that barely applies to you? If you can’t walk in their shoes, then obviously you should have come up with something personal. A mane is personal. Everyone has a mane...well, unless you’re bald.”
“Ya know she’s gonna be mad at ya, right?” Ah asked as ah climbed into the bed with him. Normally ah wouldn’t do that, especially with this varmint. Never, but he’s my coltfriend and...ah’m fallin’ fer him harder each day.
Ah yelped in surprise when he pulled me close and started runnin’ his claws through my mane. Couldn’t keep the blush from my face, sadly enough. “Of course she will. She doesn’t like me in the first place.”
“If ya stopped doin’ things like this, she might let go of a bit of that hate.” Ah glared up at him. Hopefully, he’d grow some common sense soon.
“Where’s the fun in that, my dear Applejack?” Discord purred and nuzzled the top of my head, causin’ me to squeak in embarrassment. He just chuckled at my attempts to get away, the blasted varmint. “Until she can learn to not be so wound tight, I will prank her like no one has ever been pranked before. Well, until I get bored.”
“Yer a blasted varmint,” ah grumbled.
“And you’re a cute waifu,” Discord laughed, before sitting up. He carried me around with one arm before he tore up some of portal in the air. “Now, on to our date. I picked the perfect place for us. You’re going to love it.”
“Are ya goin’ to wear Dash’s mane through it?” Ah quirked an eyebrow.
Discord rolled his eyes, which caused Dash’s mane to roll around his head and back again. ‘Cept, by the time it reached his head, it was his own mane this time. “I didn’t see what was so wrong with it. I thought you two were friends? Wouldn’t you want to date a guy who reminded you of a friend?”
“Ah...ah just don’t get you sometimes,” ah huffed, just done with him fer the moment.
He laughed before walkin’ through the portal. It closed behind us, leavin’ us in some meadow with a bunch of tall trees surroundin’ it. He broke off a nearby branch and it quickly turned into a picnic basket and he started off.
“Whitetail Woods?” Ah asked, just wantin’ to make sure this is where he carried me off to.
Discord nodded. “I wanted this date to be somewhere personal.”
“Personal?” Ah tilted my head in confusion. We never did anythin’ together in these woods. Hay, none of my friends either. We had enough trouble with this guy in town.
Discord didn’t say anythin’ until we came to a small clearin’. His tail thumped the ground four times, before his thinkin’ tree sprouted upwards from it. He hopped up, bouncin’ from branch to branch. Ah’m just lucky ah don’t puke easily, or this might have been a bit much. Then he stopped and put me down. “This is where the apple hit my head. This is where I realized that you,” he booped my nose. “Were the lucky one.” He put a little beany hat on my head that had the number ‘1’ on top.
Ah blushed when he said that. This was it? This was the place that started it all and he...he wanted to share it with me? He really wanted to share his thinkin’ tree...this very moment in time with lil’ ol’ me. Ah...ah….
Discord rubbed a paw across my face, wipin’ away a tear ah didn’t know was there. “Shh, no tears. Only picnic baskets and trees.”
Ah chuckled at the stupid comment. He gave me a calm smile. Ah don’t see that one often, so…ah nuzzled him. “Thank ya. Just...thank ya.”
“Don’t thank me yet, my dear Applejack.” Discord’s low rumblin’ chuckle shook his chest. “You haven’t even tasted my cooking yet.” He ‘poofed’ into a waiter outfit, opened up the picnic basket, and stuck his whole arm into it. He pulled out a blanket and quickly laid it out before us on the large branch. Foods of all sorts popped up from the checkered blanket. “Would you like a cherry danish, my lady.” He stood up and bowed before me.
Ah rolled my eyes. “Did ya really just cook ‘em, or did ya just ‘poof’ ‘em here like ya do most everythin’.”
Discord shrugged. “It’s pretty much the same thing really,” he held up a hand to stop me from replying. “I do know how to cook, my dear Applejack. Celestia taught me that well enough.”
“Princess Celestia taught ya to cook?” Well that was somethin’. Maybe it was part of his reform thing.
Discord nodded and pulled out a picture from out between his fingers. It was a pink haired Celestia and a really young Discord holdin’ up a cake. They were covered in eggs, flour, and all sorts of things and they looked frazzled, but they were happy anyways. Like me and Apple Bloom when ah was teachin’ her to cook. Heh, she wasn’t nearly as bad as when ah was learnin’. At least she didn’t almost burn the house down. “It was one of her activities when she babysitted.” He gave the picture a warm smile.
It was a strange smile when ah thought about it. It’s not like ah haven’t seen it before, when he’s talkin’ to me or Fluttershy. It’s just...this was Celestia he was talkin’ ‘bout. They were enemies. She sealed him away fer a thousand years and she was his babysitter? Should ah really question this? Chrysalis is his sister after all. Stands to reason that his whole life is built around random and strange connections, but what happened to make them enemies. They seemed to really like each other in that picture. Almost like family if’n ah had to put it.
He cleared his throat and bent over the food, with a fork and knife in hand. “Large or small?”
“Large,” ah grinned. “We Apples have quite the appetite.”
“I can tell,” Discord’s eyes looked me up from head to tail, restin’ on my rump. Ah blushed and used my tail to hide it as best as ah could. His grin grew wider. “I like the look. You should let your hair down more often.”
Ah scowled. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ah forgot to bind it. Ugh, now he’s gonna make fun of me for it. “Ya surprised me. Ah wasn’t ready fer the picnic and-”
A clawed finger rested against my mouth and he deadpanned, “Shut up a little. I didn’t mean to offend, joke, or whatever you were about to go on about. I genuinely think it’s cute. No pranks. No tricks.” He pulled his finger back. He shot me a challengin’ grin. “Unless you’re up for some of those things.”
Ah snorted. “Not today, thank ya kindly. Just pass me the grub.” The fork and knife Discord had summoned moved on their own. Kind of like they did when we went to that lunchin’ after this varmint was set loose. Crazy critter tried to mess with my farm. Ah still want to buck his face in fer that. ‘Course, can’t do that now. Mare’s don’t buck their coltfriend….well, not unless they do somethin’ really stupid. He was gonna, no doubt about that, so he’d get what was comin’ to him one day.
Cuttin’ me a fair share of a danish, they put it on a plate and carried it over to me. Puttin’ it before me, they bowed. “For the mistress of chaos.” They said in shrill voices.
Ah blinked in surprise. Didn’t see that comin’. “Mistress of chaos?”
Discord grumbled and shooed the utensils away. “Chaos spirits and whatnot tend to get carried away with their titles. You don’t want to know half of the titles I have. I doubt I could say some of them even if given a week to do so, but they have a point. I am the god of chaos and since we’re dating, you’re the mistress.”
“And what does that make Fluttershy?” Ah quirked an eyebrow.
“The caretaker,” Discord’s grin was warm and a little nostalgic. Kind of like when ah’m rememberin’ somethin’ about home. Like Apple Bloom’s first word: orange.
Granny threw such a fit that day. HA! Definitely a gut buster right there.
“She gave me a second chance that I never earned,” Discord snorted in amusement. “She’s too good for her own good. It’s going to get her in trouble one of these days.”
“It’s a good thing she’s got friends like us to help her if’n that happens,” ah put in. Nobody hurts my friends. Not if ah could help it. Ah took a bite into my food and...oooh~ This is good….not as good as apple danishes, but that’s just my family’s blood talkin’.
Discord laughed. He had a hearty laugh, even if there was a certain ‘mad’ flare to it. It’s actually kinda comfortin’. “You’re right about that, my dear Applejack.” He tossed a pie up into the air and swallowed it whole, tray and all.
“Just Applejack,” ah said. That title was gettin’ a little old. Well, not really. Ah kind of liked it, but ah’m just Applejack.
“Fine,” he grinned and took off the beanie hat he gave me. He quickly turned it into a badge and put it on my chest. It said ‘Just Applejack’. “Just Applejack. Hmmm, a fitting name.”
Ah rolled my eyes and threw away the badge. “Yer a cheeky varmint, ah’ll give ya that much.”
Discord moved a paw up and took off his mane like a hat as he gave me a mock bow. “Glad to be of service, Applebutt.”
Ah glared at him. “Okay, go back to the first one.”