//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: For the Better // Story: To Cure Insanity Please Insert Ponies // by No One and Nobody //------------------------------// Chapter 8: For the Better “Excellent shot Bruce,” said Doctor Alejandro as the ball landed in the hole. “I try,” said Bruce, grinning, “Sometimes I get lucky.” “I know what you mean. Just last week some of the inmates were nearly bouncing off the walls. Now I’m constantly getting calls from Arkham saying that they’re as calm as anything. Sometimes things just click.” As he said this Alejandro tapped his ball and it went smoothly through the grass to land in the cup. “So it’s true what I’ve been hearing about Arkham lately?” asked Bruce, lining up for his next shot. “I don’t know what you could have heard. But if it was anything about the inmates calming down, I’d say that the rumors have been confirmed. They seem to be better adjusted, more polite, happier, and in some of the more normal once I’d almost say that they’re nicer than some of my neighbors.” “How’s Harvey?” “Surprisingly well. In fact he’s actually stopped carrying around that coin of his.” “What about the more dangerous ones? Ivy, Croc, the Joker?” “You seem rather curious.” “Why shouldn’t I been? They are people after all.” “You’re right, sometimes I think people forget that about them. They’re actually doing better as well. Ivy has taken to meditation, Croc has started bird watching and even the Joker seems less violent than before.” “Any idea why the sudden change?” “Honestly Bruce I’m just as confused as you are. Most of them keep talking about these little visitors in the night but we can’t get much out of them accept a name, maybe a brief story or two. Croc calls his visitor Shy. He says she’s the one who got him interested in bird watching. As for the Joker, he doesn’t seem to mention his little visitor at all, and if we bring it up he gets very quiet. I’d be worried about them if it weren’t for the change in their behavior. If these little visitors do have something to do with it I’d love a hundred more of them.” “You’re not going to be releasing anyp- anyone from Arkham yet, are you?” “Don’t worry Bruce. We don’t let anyone out until we’re a hundred and ten percent sure they are sane and ready to reintegrate into society.” “Good just so I know I can sleep a little safer tonight,” said Bruce, sending the ball flying. Dr. Alejandro exited the elevator and greeted one of his nurses, “How are the patients doing today?” “Honestly Dr. I don’t even know what to say, we let them out for their free time today and Scarecrow started a square dance a couple minutes later.” “A square dance?” “They turned on the radio. Since then they’ve been laughing and singing. Listen.” Dr. Alejandro put his clipboard down and walked up to the window to see into the inmate’s free-time area. Poison Ivy was sitting on the floor cross-legged doing some kind of chant, while Dr. Crane was sitting off to one side eating an apple and Two-face, Harley, Croc, Bane, and another inmate Alejandro couldn’t identify were singing a song. “Who’s the one in the center?” asked Dr. Alejandro. “I said the same thing when I saw him this morning,” said the nurse, “It’s the Joker.” Alejandro’s eyes widened in shock as he recognized that the person in the center of it all, singing the loudest, with the happiest smile on his face was indeed the Joker. Because I love to make you smile, smile, smile, yes I do. It fills my heart with sunshine all the while, yes it does. Cause’ all I really need’s a smile, smile, smile, from these happy friends of mine. The song stopped playing on the radio and the announcer came on. “That was The Smile Song as you probably all know,” she said, “Umm, we’ll be taking a short break now to ahh…” Another, more cheerful, voice broke in saying, “Recalibrate the song thingies. No need to worry though, nothing suspicious is happening. Perfectly normal radio-y things going on here.” “Right… Well, we’ll be right back after this.” The radio cut to static and the inmates sat down and started talking pleasantly amongst themselves. “What happened to him?” asked Dr. Alejandro, still staring at the Joker. “We have no idea. But whatever it was, it must have happened sometime last night.” “The little visitors,” said Alejandro under his breath. “What was that Dr.?” asked the nurse. “Have the inmates said anything more about their ‘little visitors’?” The nurse was taken aback for a second, then shook her head, “No. However while the Joker did mention something about being ‘saved’ last night; he never mentioned who did the saving.” “Have they said anything out of the ordinary (besides singing)? Any unusual phrases, or new names?” The nurse looked at the inmates for a second and then said, “Now that you mention it several of them have accidentally dropped a rather unusual pronoun here and there.” “What pronoun?” “They’ll replace the second part in words like ‘nobody, anybody, everyone, and someone’ with the word ‘pony’.” “You mean like any-pony?” “Yes.” “Strange. Keep an eye out for the next time they say it, and ask them about that.” “Certainly, Doctor.” “Oh and by the way nurse…” “Yes?” “You are looking lovely today.” “Why thank you Dr.” The nurse left with a smile on her face and Dr. Alejandro stood looking at the inmates for a couple more minutes. He never even noticed when he stared to smile. Things really were changing for the better. Batman stood on the ledge looking out over the city. From now on it would be safe from the lunatics who had once been its greatest threat. Maybe even he had learned something in all of this… But he’d never tell the white one that. There was a rush of wind and someone stepped up behind him. “How have things been going Bruce?” Batman narrowed his eyes. He knows how much I hate it when he calls me Bruce out in the open like that. Then a smile spread across his face. “Things have been better. Say, you wouldn’t mind doing me a favor would you?” “What kind of a favor?” “Nothing that large. There’s a small box up at my place. I was wondering if you could keep it safe for me for a little while. Somewhere I could get to it easily. Your apartment maybe.” “Ok Bruce. That shouldn’t be a problem.” The figure launched himself from the building with his usual flamboyance and flew off towards Wayne Manor red cape flapping in the wind. “Good luck,” said Batman under his breath, trying to hold back a smile, “You’ll need it.”