My Life As Princess Luna Because Reasons
Chapter 1: The Day The Universe Became A Butthole
Hey guys, my name’s John White, and I am stuck in Equestria. I’m also stuck in the form of Princess Luna. Why? Because reasons. Reasons that the universe isn’t going to give me any time soon because it’s really being a major butthole right now, as if it wasn’t being a butthole before.
So I just want to drop a few quick things about myself before I forget anything. I’m a college student, I study criminal law in college, and I’m a brony. I started watching MLP right in the middle of the third season and I kind of liked it. Although, nowadays I’m pretty much into fandom material, like comics, fanfics, all that stuff.
To go along with me being a brony, I have quite the imagination when it comes to the stories that the fandom tells. Like, I kind of put myself in their world as I see it so to say, as I’m sure that like, 75% of you guys do this all the time.
That being said, I should probably explain my situation from the beginning, which would be the day before the night I got stuck here. I’m not even sure if I was saying that right, but the point still stands. Anyway, moving on.
My day started out pretty nicely. The starting lyrics from the song, “Friday” by Rebecca Black, as much as I hate that song, seemed to pretty much sum up my morning, to the point before the bridge. Except that one of my friends actually called me and said that he gathered up the crew so we could hang out for a little bit.
I had quite the group of friends, pretty good ones at that. I met the first one of our group a few years back when I was in high school. We became good friends during that time and we even made a few new ones as time went on. Eventually, we pretty much became like a crew so to say, at least that’s how I see it.
Anyways, my friend calls me and I pick up. “Hey, what’s up Simmons?” I greeted.
“Hey John, what’cha doing right now?” Simmons asked. For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, Simmons is actually my first friend.
“Nothing much, honestly.” I replied. “Just got finished with breakfast.”
“Oh, cool. Well, if you aren’t busy with anything, I’m about to get the crew together so we can hang out somewhere. You wanna come?” Simmons offered.
“Sure, why not, I ain’t got much to do anyway.” I responded. “We meeting at the usual spot?”
“Yeah, I’ll let Josh know.” Simmons confirmed. “See you at 10.”
“Yeah, seeya, bye.” I said as I hung up.
It was around 8:30 AM when I hung up, so I had plenty of time to myself before getting ready. In the meantime, I went to my bedroom and got on my laptop just to look up some MLP content, you know, the usual stuff. I was mainly looking at the fanfics for something good, but didn’t really find anything of interest. So, I decided to continue reading the fics I was already reading.
I was at this for most of the time until it turned to 9:35 AM on the clock. I took a quick shower before putting on my usual attire and then I was all set. I got in my car and started heading to the “usual spot”.
The “usual spot” was pretty much at the local diner where Josh, one of my other friends, works at. You know, one of those old diners that you kind of see in some old movies? Yeah, that’s pretty much where we go most of the time. Except that the diner has kind of an underground lounge with a bunch awesome stuff like a pool table, a bar, a game room, it even has a shooting range, which I was very grateful for. There was also some other stuff around but I won’t go into further details.
I left the house around 9:50 AM and got to the diner at like 10:12 AM-ish. By the way, in my college, I kind of rented a small house rather than sleeping in the dorms. Sleeping in the dorms just didn’t set right with me. I had enough money to rent it, but it would have had me save a bit more money for food and bills. Luckily, when renting the house, I had some financial support from a couple of my friends to help me save some money. But I’m getting off-topic, back to what I was saying.
When I got to the lounge, most of my friends were already there. Let me list them off; there’s Simmons, Josh, Aaron, Noah, Ken, Mason, Kate, and Jessa. I found them just chilling out at the….circle couch? I didn’t really know what it was called but you get what I mean.
I should probably tell you guys a little bit about my friends, you know, just to get to know them.
First one is my best friend, Simmons, his real name is Richard Simmons but he likes to be called Simmons. Like I said, Simmons was the first one of our group that I've met since my sophomore year in high school. I met him in my Criminology class during second semester and he too was a sophomore but we didn't really talk much in the beginning. When our teacher put us in pairs for some assignment that had to be done at home, me and him were partners. Fortunately for us, we lived pretty close to each other at the time, so we helped each other out at our houses. We started to socialize a bit and we realized we had a lot of things in common. Some of which was that we were both studying law, both had some creativity, and we were both Bronies. We were pretty much on the same page and I kind of thought of ourselves kind of like brothers. After the assignment, we were hanging out a lot and became best friends. By the way, in our group, I'm basically the leader since I kind of founded it, I'm also the reasonable guy while Simmons is pretty much the smart guy. So, time went by a little bit and we met the next two members of our group.
Next up would be Mason West and Aaron Woods, both were at our grade. Mason is pretty much the joker of the group since he kind of, for his title's sake, plays a bunch of jokes and just plain has fun with everybody. You could say he would be the life of the party when we have some. With Aaron, he's pretty much a tech nerd, although he doesn't really look like a nerd he just looks like your average college student wanting to have some fun. Mason was Simmons' friend before he met me, Simmons introduced me to him and we got along pretty nicely. I actually met Aaron trying to mess with one of the laptops the school gave him, a few days after the school put a filter block on the laptops themselves. Usually the filter block would be at school, but at this time, the school blocked certain websites on the laptops themselves for whatever reason. Basically it meant that you couldn't access certain websites even if you're at home. This put a lot of students off, including the friends me and Simmons had at the time. My reaction to it was pretty much trying to bypass it through internet means, but the school was clever by even blocking the un-block proxy websites. Although, I don't know if they even worked in the first place, but whatever, back to Aaron. Basically he was complaining that now he can't go on DeviantArt or Fimfiction with the filter block in place. At the mention of Fimfiction, I knew he was a brony. Just for the heck of it, I kind of invited him to our group, and he was okay with it. Nowadays, he kind of helps us out with technological problems. We all stuck together till I met our next member during the second half of our junior year.
Next would be Josh, Josh Lopez. Josh is actually one of my cousins. Don't ask me how we're related, because I don't know it all myself. All I know from my parents is that we're pretty much cousins. I actually remember a little bit about him from my childhood, but I didn't know him very well since he lives pretty far away compared to my other cousins. When I was a little kid, I rarely saw his family, I only saw him at certain family events but that was it, I never really knew him until his parents moved somewhere around my neighborhood and enrolled him to my school. Josh was pretty much a shy(ish) person. When I met up with him at school, he was pretty okay with me, but he said he was a bit scared to make some new friends. So, I kind of welcomed him to our circle and he liked it. After some time, we met the last three members of our group over the course of our summer vacation.
The last ones were Ken and Kate Evans and Jessa Rodriguez. Ken and Kate are brother and sister, although they didn't really look like twins, by twins I mean identical twins, so no they weren't that, but they were brother and sister none the less. Me, Simmons, and Mason met Ken and Kate at a local bowling alley and asked if we would go against them in a friendly competition. Naturally we agreed to go against them as me and Mason both had competitive attitudes. Although, Simmons didn't really want to play along with us, so he decided to just spectate. So, we were going on separate lanes, whichever team had the most points at the end of the round wins. The match went on for a little bit and it was really close, but in the end, Ken and Kate won the game. We congratulated them and asked if they wanted to be friends with us, they said yes. A few days later, we met Jessa. Jessa was pretty much Kate's friend before they met us. Kate introduced us to her we got along fine.
That pretty much sums up our story, but back to my story.
“Hey, wassup peoples?” I called out.
“HEY, yo wassup John?”
“Eeey, how’s it goin’”
“Hi, John”
Everyone greeted me, and it seemed everyone was here, except for one.
“Hey, where’s Hannah?” I inquired.
Yeah, I forgot about Hannah. Hannah Edwards was her real name. Hannah, I should say, is pretty much a socially-awkward nerdy bookworm; in other words, a real life Twilight Sparkle. I couldn't really believe what I was seeing when I first met her. So, our group, being in the same grade, eventually came to age for college. We were having it easy for the first couple of weeks, but then some of us hit a block in our stuff so we had to hit the books to keep up. A few days into our intensive studies, I came across a Twilight-Sparkle-lover's sight to behold, I saw a young girl not over a year older than us, sitting there at the table, with a freaking stack of books on both the left and right sides of the table. To top it all off, she even had the nerdy look down, although she didn't really look like Twilight Sparkle herself. She pretty much had the sweater and glasses of Moondancer, her hair was tied up in a pony tail rather than a bow like Moondancer, and she even had the look as if she was trying to solve the mystery of the Elements of Harmony, even though she wasn't really into the Brony fandom at the time. When I got a good look at her I just went like: "No way!". I kid you not, she was a literal Season 1 Twilight Sparkle over here. I could not in good conscience let her become another Moondancer. So, I intervened in her "eternal crusade" for knowledge in.... whatever she was studying at the time. My goal was to show her the light of friendship and get her face out of the books. She was stubborn to get off at first, but I finally convinced her to tear away from the books. I decided to take it a step farther and asked if I could show her something. She reluctantly agreed. First, I asked her if she knew any thing about MLP:FIM, she said she only knew a little bit. She also said was curious with it at first but her studies drove that interest away. I then began to show her the MLP episode, "Amending Fences". Afterwards, I explained that she needs to get some friends or she would end up like Moondancer for the first half of her showing. She then explained that she never wanted friends until now, she never thought herself being so cynical to those around her like Moondancer. After watching the episode, Hannah Edwards has seen the light of friendship. She still a nerdy bookworm, but nowadays, not so much. And now, she's late
“Dunno, we’re still waiting for her.” Mason answered. “She said she was coming.”
That was when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I look back and see Hannah walking to where we are.
“Hi guys, sorry I’m late. I had some stuff to do at the library.” she said.
“Eh, no need to be sorry, we're glad you’re here.” I said dismissively as I took my seat.
“So, what are we gonna do guys?” Aaron asked.
“Well first of all, me and John have a score to settle from the last time we had a 1v1 match on Black Ops 2.” Mason said in a cocky manner. “You see, after that dick move you pulled on that match, I’ve been testing myself against those kinds of tricks. I know your moves now, I’m so gonna beat you.”
“Oh really now?” I replied smugly. “I don’t think you saw all I have up my sleeve.”
“We’ll see about that, 1v1 me bro, right now!” Mason exclaimed, standing up from his seat trying to intimidate me.
“Okay, let’s go bro, let’s go!” I said getting up from my seat too, pounding my chest as I started towards the game room, Mason following close, maintaining his intimidating glare.
Back with the group, they were discussing what they were going to do. After a few minutes, they split up to do their own thing. Me and Mason were already starting our intense duel.
For a few minutes, we decided to go quickscoping against each other and were going at it like crazy, throwing out insults after every other kill and fake accusations claiming we hack or something, even though we were playing local. After a while, we didn’t even know what we were doing anymore other than just playing around like a bunch of idiots.
At that point, you could think of this as one of those mlg montage parodies that go all over the top and stupid. At least, that was what was going through our heads.
After that little fiasco, it was already like 2:45 PM. Everybody apparently came back for whatever reason. We then just did whatever we wanted around the lounge for a couple of hours, after that, there wasn’t much to do anymore.
I walked towards the group all chilling out at the couch with a few drinks on the table. “So, what else are we going to do, huh?” I asked.
“I got nothing.” Noah grumbled
“Me neither.” said Ken
“Same.” echoed Kate
I thought for a second, then a thought came to me. “I got an idea.” I beamed.
“What is it?” inquired Simmons.
“Who’s up for a couple rounds at a nearby Laser Tag arena?” I offered.
I looked around seeing everyone nodding and shrugging, seeing as they had nothing else better to do.
“Alright, I’m cool with that.” Simmons responded.
“Great, so it’s decided? Good, let’s go.” I cheered as I walked out of the lounge with the others behind me.
So it took us a little bit to get to the Laser Tag place, but we got there just fine. When we arrived, we all signed in and got ready to play. We were in there for quite a while before we decided to go get dinner then hit the hay, it was around 8:45 after all.
So, when I got home, I just decided to settle down a little bit and just chill out on my laptop. I stayed on it only for a little bit, then I started to get sleepy.
I yawned. “Whew, that Laser Tag session took a lot out of me, I’m so tired. Meh, time to go to bed.” I said to myself.
I climbed in bed, tucked myself in, and then close my eyes as I slowly drifted into my own thoughts. My dream was pretty much normal-ish, nothing worth mentioning. After that, three guesses as to what happened next. Yep, as I’ve said before, I became Princess Luna, for no apparent reason whatsoever. So here’s how I saw it.
I was pretty much swaying between consciousness for a little bit as I wanted to sleep a little more. My eyes were fluttering as they were slowly opening, then they closed again, failing to notice the dark blue foreleg in front of me. I then tried to wake up as I was grumbling myself awake so to say. It was then I noticed the feminine tone in my voice. Surprised, my eyes shot open, and lo and behold, I see two dark blue forelegs stretched out in front of me with an addition of hooves.
I gasp in fear. “What the heck is-*meep*!” I blurted before quickly covering my mouth, shocked at the change in my voice. “What the heck happened to my voice!?!?” I asked myself. Looking at my…. arms I would say right now, it could only mean one thing. I flipped over the covers, hoping I was wrong and this was all a dream, and what I saw only confirmed my suspicions, I was in a body of a pony. I looked at a nearby mirror and realized that I wasn’t just anypony, I was in the form of Princess Luna herself.
“What the heck is going on here?!?” I whispered to myself beginning to panic as I began to observe myself.
I looked like her in every little physical detail, from her colors, her wings and horn, her cutie mark, everything. I was really her. At this point, I began to hyperventilate, trying to resist the urge to scream. But at the very moment I was all the way up to that point, I held my breath trying to hold back my scream as I realized where I am, I was in Princess Luna’s room, in Canterlot, in Equestria. I figured that if I screamed, it would only raise suspicion. Somepony would come in here and ask what happened and I would have to make up a lie that they would supposedly dismiss and then figure out that I’m not Princess Luna and who knows what would happen next. I do NOT want to go through that. I watched many similar cases to know what could happen.
So, I let my breath go and took deep breaths to calm myself down. As I was doing so, I began to observe the room thoroughly. The walls of the room were a nightly blue color with painted clouds decorating said wall. There was a fireplace on the right side of the room that had no fire burning in it currently. Next to me was the bed I woke up in, which was a four post bed adorned with dark blue drapes covered with a blue blanket with Luna’s cutie mark engraved at the end of the bed. Across the room was a balcony that overlooked the city of Canterlot in it’s full glory. Next to the balcony was a large Plasma Flat-screen TV attached to the wall, suggesting that this Equestria either has the same technology as we do on Earth, or it pretty much has a mix of old-fashioned and modern technology as it was with both the show and certain versions Equestria created by Bronies. On the floor under the TV were an assortment of games and gaming consoles, indicating that this Luna was a gamer, everyone’s favorite version of Luna.
After I calmed down a little bit, I began to try to stand. Almost immediately, I lose my balance and fall on all fours. “Oh, right, I’m a pony now.” I deadpanned. I started to trot towards the balcony, legs wobbling with every other step. After a little bit, I started to get the hang of it. I arrived at the tip of the balcony and looked out to the city of Canterlot. It was daytime right now it looked more beautiful than I imagined from up here, despite it being in a cartoon world.
“Woah.” I gasped in awe. “Look’s like I’m not in Kansas anymore.”
So, I'm here I am, in Equestria, the land of friendship, magic, myth, and technicolored talking ponies, as one of the most recognized beings in this world, with no way that I know of right now to get out. Well, if I'm gonna be stuck here, I might as well do it right. Let's see how deep the "rabbit hole" goes.