“Night Sky, it is time.”
“F-for what, Princess?”
Luna scoffed. “You forgot?”
“I—uhm—no! S-sorry, I-I mean, I didn’t, I just… need a reminder, I didn’t forget about… it! I… just…. Could you… uhm... give me a notice, I didn’t forget, P-Princess, I didn’t, I just didn’t know that it was… today!”
“Oh. Well then, let’s get to it.”
“Well, I-I mean, if you, I mean, if—you don’t have to, of course, but if you could just write a sticky note, or something, reminding me, because, I, uhm—I like to be organized and I like to have this on record and it just gets so cluttered when I don’t have things organized the right way, but I guess I should expect…. N-nevermind that, Princess, I’m sorry, but, could you write down something so I can keep it on record or… something….”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “I thought that we agreed to keep this off record.”
“Oh, right, right, well, uhm, can I just have a note written down somewhere, I’ll burn it right afterwards, or something, of course, but, I just like to have the thought that I could have gotten something on record because it’s just really reassuring. I’m sure you know that’s it’s good to be reassured about things because you’re a princess but I don’t and I just want to be reassured so could you please just humor me? You don’t have to—this is a personal request, of course, but... uhm… please?”
“Ah, Night Sky, you are such a worry wort. I suppose that I can humor you, though.”
“Al-alright!” Night Sky handed the princess a small piece of parchment and a quill with her wing.
“Here.”
“O—I-I mean, I mean, yeah—I mean—I didn’t mean to say ‘I mean’, I’m not trying to hold information from you... or anything, of… cour—l-let’s go do that! Please! P-Princess!”
Night Sky seems rather on edge…. Has she been… having discourse with… anarchists? Luna shook her head, trying to discard her discouraging thoughts. “Of course she hasn’t. She wouldn’t do that.”
“...Princess?”
“Yes?”
“Uh…. Nothing, Princess.”
“Of course.” There she goes again, acting strange.
“Okay, Night Sky, we need to get my sister to sleep so we can take the diary. This time, I came prepared: I’ll apply a counter night spell to nullify the enchantment she put on the book. This can’t fail!”
“Alright, Princess.”
“So, Night Sky, how do you propose that we put my sister to rest for the evening?”
Night Sky pointed at herself. “M-me?”
“No, Night Sky, the other batpony directly behind you with your same name.”
“Oh, my apologies, Princess.” Night Sky turned around and was mystified. “...They’re not there.”
Luna sighed. “Of course I mean you, Night Sky!”
“O-oh, again, my apologies, Princess.”
“So, what do you say?”
Night Sky thought long and hard about possibilities: sleeping spells, sleeping poisons, sleeping blankets, sleeping pillows, sleeping mattresses, sleeping hammocks, but she liked mattresses much more than hammocks. Night Sky found that hammocks felt strange and utterly unnatural. She wondered how ponies could sleep in them when it contorted all of one’s appendages just to lay down. But she concluded that sleeping in a hammock beat sleeping in the duff and getting bitten by creatures in the middle of the night. “Well, Princess, why don’t we just… wait?”
“Wait? For what?”
“Princess Celestia’s bedtime, Princess”
Luna held a hoof to her chin. “This might just work, Night Sky. How do you propose we pull this off?”
“Well… uh….”
“I’m merely jesting, Night Sky.”
“Al-alright, Princess.”
“If you believe that simply waiting is the best course of action, then we shall wait. It’s a very sensible plan.”
“Uhm… thank you, Princess.”
“At risk of sounding impatient, I must say this is taking a rather long time. Night Sky, are you trying to sabotage me?”
Night Sky frowned in sadness. “Of course not, Princess, I would never do that!”
“So it seems. I’ll go talk to her. But I have to be sly; inception of an idea is best done discretely—preferably through a dream—but I’ll have to make this work.”
Luna strolled into the quaint lobby smoothly, not bothering to look at her sister as she seemingly slithered by. Her mouth sat slanted on her muzzle.
“So, Sister, did you have a hard day in parliament?”
“Wh-what?” she looked up from her cup of tea. “Oh…. Yes…. I suppose I did….”
“Hm. Sounds like trouble. Perhaps you would like to meditate about it… performing some sort of… biological function that ponies of the day tend to let happen during the nightly hours?”
Celestia looked confused and mildly shocked. “O-oh... well... Philomena’s kind of molting right now, I didn’t kn—”
“So how is the weather?” Too discrete, too discrete!
“Don’t you want to he—”
“Those weather pegasi are doing a pretty good job.”
“...I…. I don’t know…. It’s been a little… turbulent out recently….”
“I like the stormy weather.”
Celestia nodded slowly.
Luna quickly made herself a small cup of coffee, a beverage that she found to be quite exotic and for whatever reason made her somewhat anxious.
She sipped the cup, waiting for the freshly resurfaced memories fade out.
“So, Sister, isn’t it past the time when you usually sleep?” she mentioned off handedly.
“Oh….” Celestia said, unsure and detached.
“Is there… something bothering you?”
“Not…. Not really, no, I guess….”
“Oh, well that’s good. So... can you go to sleep now?”
“Yes…. I… guess I can…” Celestia mumbled, looking away.
“Alright, goodnight, Sister.”
Celestia again nodded, still staring at her cup.
Luna looked around the room, waiting.
She spoke up again. “So when are you going to sleep?”
“Why… why do you want me to go to sleep?”
“Oh… well… I… just… want you to be very well rested. After all, it is my duty to ensure that ponies in Equestria are getting adequate sleep.”
“That’s not one of your duties.”
“It… is now.”
“What?”
“Yes… I was uhm… testing it.”
“Luna… what? I... was supposed to say something like that….”
“Well, Sister, this particular part of the tale focuses on me and my escapades.”
“I’m not sure I understand….”
“You just don’t understand right now because you need sleep; the stress that the day has put on you has made you weary.”
Celestia looked up at Luna, and for a moment the Sun Princess simply stared at her sister in intense study. Celestia shook her head. “You’re... probably right,” she rubbed her temples, “I need to sleep.”
“Yes…. I’ll see you in the morning, Sister.”
“Goodnight.”
“Do not let the bedbugs bite.”
“I’ll try not to….”
“Really, don’t. I hear they have been quite the problem in Canterlot.”
“I won’t.”
“Seriously, Sister, bedbugs are a real problem. I honestly think that we need to introduce legislation to have them eliminated.”
“Uhm…. Okay.”
“In fact, I have spoken with several constituents about the problem; all of them agree that it is a major issue not only inside Canterlot but other major cities outside it.”
Celestia yawned. “Alright, Luna.”
Luna turned to face the other direction, lowering her eyelid to a near squint. “But fixing a problem of this magnitude will not be an easy task, I assure you. I’ve spoken to several analysts and even some entomologists about the eradication of such pests in high population density areas, and both agree that the scale of such an extermination would be incredible; not to mention sustaining the magic barriers and pesticides. The price would be high, but I do not think that is of concern, especially when considering that this is ultimately for the health and safety of the public.”
“Alright, Luna, let me… uhm… lay my head down,” Celestia yawned again, setting her head down on the small coffee table as she closed her eyes, “I’m still… listening.”
“Of course, it would be wise to look at actual studies concerning possible bedbug related disease vectors: most of which found no correlation. But, most agree the itching sensation causes scratching which can be dangerous the epidermis. I would not assume that literal thick skinned ponies would have to worry about this, but it still remains a plausible threat if these insects spread to anymore residencies or lodg—” Luna looked behind her when she heard the gentle breathing of her sister. “Perfect. Sister, you really shouldn’t take so long to fall asleep.”
Luna walked over to the alabaster alicorn and touched horns. Luna’s lit up with was a dark blue, dispersing over her sister.
Luna trotted out of the room with a smug smile on her face.
“S-so, Princess, I was thinking that… uhm….”
“Yes, Night Sky?”
“It’s… it’s not really anything….”
“Oh, please, do go on.”
“Well…. I…. Well….”
“Night Sky, ‘spit it out’.... I still don’t like that phrase.”
“Well… uhm…. Couldn’t we have just… retrieved the journal before your sister fell asleep?”
Luna pursed her lips. “Well, Night Sky…. I only have one thing to say about that.”
“Y-yes, Princess?”
The Princess remained motionless, simply staring at her attendant with a blank expression.
Night Sky tried to hide her audible gulp.
“It is a diary, not a journal.”
Night Sky internally sighed. “M-my apologies, Princess.”
“...Good.”
The door to the Sun Princess’s room crept open.
“P-princess, why did we have to put your sister back in her room? A-and why didn’t we get the book when we were in here the first time?” Night Sky whispered in fear
“Night Sky, dear, you and I both know that anything else would be rude.”
Night Sky opened her mouth to say something, but no sound managed to come out.
“I don’t know where my sister has kept her diary this time around, so we will need to make haste of our search, understood?”
“O-of course, Princess.”
“Alright, Night Sky, you check the closet, I’ll look here, in the vanity drawers.”
Both of the nighttime ponies searched around the room, looking for any trace of a diary belonging to a certain diarch.
“It’s not in here, Princess.”
“Yes, so it seems that it is not in her vanity or under her bed, either. Interesting…. She wouldn’t have….”
“Princess?”
“My sister… was devious. She must have used an illusion enchantment on the book! We are sure to not find it anytime soon, and most probably not in this particular session.” Luna sighed.
Night Sky’s eyes widened in understanding. “I think I might be able to help, Princess!” she exclaimed giddily.
“Night Sky?”
“Oh, w-well, you see, my mom taught me how to see through illusion spells when I was a filly.”
“I do see indeed! I always knew there had to be a real reason for me selecting you as my attendant, Night Sky!”
“Th-thank you, Princess.”
“Go on, look for the book.”
Night Sky smiled. “Alright, Princess.”
The batpony squinted as she examined every minute detail of each item in the room, and focusing outwards to see if the pieces truly created to whole.
“I don’t see it yet, Princess….”
“Keep looking, it must be around here somewhere."
“Of course, Princess.”
Night Sky kept looking about the bedroom but to her worry she could not spot the cleverly disguised book.
“I-I don’t see it anywhere, Princess,” Night Sky cried.
Princess Luna simply looked down at her hooves and held a blank expression.
“...I-I’m sorry, Princess…. I failed….”
Luna looked up. “Night Sky, do not fret. Nothing could have been done.”
“Al-alright, Princess.” Night Sky said simply.
“Come, let’s go. We can check again another night.”
“Alright….”
Night Sky trotted, a solemn mood evident by the look on her face.
“Ah, Night Sky, do not be so down. All one can do is try.”
Night Sky made a small smile, but it quickly faded when her right foreleg started to give out. Her body slammed into the foot of the white alicorns bed, and a loud thump sounded.
“Night Sky, are you alright?”
“Yes, Princess, what happened?” Night Sky asked as she rubbed her shoulder.
“You slipped on a book.… Oh… this is… this is the diar—Oh, nevermind, false alarm.”
Night Sky’s expression returned to its fallen phase. “What is it?”
Luna frowned in disgust. “It’s a book by this… necromancer my sister has been apparently reading recently.”
Night Sky nodded.
The two again trotted towards the doorway, but stopped when they heard a sound coming from the Sun Princess’s bed. Both turned around with wide eyes.
“...Luna, is that… you..?” Celestia asked incoherently. “....I… want my… book….”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Oh, Sister?”
“....Luna…” Celestia cried, tired and frantic.
Luna grinned. “Let me retrieve it… where is it?”
“It’s… in… the library….”
“Sure thing, Sister. Sleep tight.” Luna trotted over to her sister, and for the second time that night cast a sleeping spell on her.
Luna turned to face Night Sky. “It is done.”
“B-but, Princess, how do we know she’s talking about her… jou—diary?”
“I suppose we do not, Night Sky, but we’ll just have to find out.”
“Alright, Princess.”
“Night Sky, do you mind asking Miss… Lace about this yourself?”
“Of course not Princess, b-but can I ask… what you have against Lace? S-she’s a friend of mine….”
“I… just... well….”
Night Sky waited for Luna to finish.
“...I can’t stand to think about someone naming their foal Kinky Lace….” Luna shuddered.
“Hey, Lace, can I ask you a question? This might seem kind of weird.”
“Like.... Princess-Celestia-weird?” Kinky Lace retorted with a smile.
Night Sky chuckled. “No… well… I don’t know.”
“What is it?”
“Did Princess Celestia add any books to the archives recently?”
“Hm.... Well… she did order a shipment of some newer books recently.”
“Oh. What were they?”
“Uh… I can give you the list if you have a moment.”
“That would be great.”
Kinky Lace turned around to face the desk behind her where stacks of pseudo-organised papers laid. She lifted up the corners, looking for the index of new arrivals.
“...Here it is. Wait,” she checked it over, “Uh-huh, this is it.”
Night Sky took the list from her friend's grasp. “Thanks!”
“Say, why do you need this?”
“It’s for Princess Luna. I’m helping her find—” Night sky stopped herself. “I’m helping her find a book.”
“Oh. That’s… interesting, I guess. I’ll see you around, then.”
“You too, thanks again.”
As Night Sky departed, she immediately began scanning the parchment for any possible matches. One title caught her attention: Avian Tendencies by a certain P. C.
“Princess, I think I found something!”
“Oh, what is it?”
“Well, there was a book about birds added to archives recently by somepony named P. C.”
“That does seem rather suspicious. Let us investigate haste posthaste!”
“Uh-uhm, Princess, you used one of those archaic terms again, a-and you told me to tell you when you used them.”
“Oh, yes, thank you Night Sky. Hm… I shall use ‘immediately’ in place of it.”
“Y-you can’t do that, Princess, that word was just used a few sentences ago. It’s bad practice.”
“I see your point. I shall use ‘at once’.”
“Night Sky, we can’t have a scene break yet! You never caught the ‘shall’. Ponies don’t say ‘shall’ anymore unless they are cretons pretending to be classed.”
“My apologies, Princess.”
“Aha, here it is! Avian Tendencies. My sister really puts no effort into these disguises, does she?”
“Y-yeah, you’re disguises are much better, Princess!”
“To think that she would use her own initials as well,” Luna said as she shook her head in disbelief.
“I’ll just go ahead and dispel this illusion….” Luna put her horn to the book, and a blue aura rushed over it.
“N-nothing changed, Princess.”
“Hm…?”
“Uhm....”
“Oh. Uhm. Yes, well. This is indeed an interesting illusion spell which my sister has cast onto this book… here. I’ll… try again.”
“I… I don’t think it’s working, Princess.”
“Well, uhm… yes. Well….”
“...I’ll go… uhm… uh…. Wh-what’s in the book?”
“Oh… it’s a… guide to… bird watching for amateurs…. Uhm… I’m sure that this is not published by anyone….”
Kinky Lace looked up at Night Sky and nodded. “Yep, it’s published by Nest Publishing under Mr. Pine Cone.”
Night Sky focussed on something in the corner of her vision. “...Oh….”
“Sky, you’ve been here twice in the past hour. What’s up?”
“Oh… uh… not much. Just doing princess business, you know how it is.”
“Alright then; I know the nature of those kinds of things. I won’t ask.”
“What else is there to do, Princess?”
“I’m… not really sure. Hm… Night Sky, did you ask if my sister returned any books recently?”
“Why, no, I didn’t, Princess.”
“Hm. We should try that. If this does not work, Night Sky, then let this be that last thing we try tonight.”
“Princess, your sister did return a book recently.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“Soul Binding by N. Mare M.”
“That’s it! That’s it! That’s the book that my sister had laying about on the floor which you slipped on and rudely woke her!”
Night Sky faintly blushed. “O-oh.”
“Look, here it is. I should be able to dispel this illusion, if indeed my sister does not have two copies… which I would not put below her.” Luna rolled her eyes.
Night Sky waited in anticipation as the Moon Princess charged her horn and let loose onto the book.
And in an instant, it changed into the elegantly embroidered tome, the cover displaying an excellent, golden vinete.
“And now I can apply the counterspell to that troublesome phoenix-ashes magic she used.” Luna again lit up her horn, albeit the counterspell taking far longer to arrange and cast.
After a short while, the spell was done and princess satisfied with her work.
Luna opened the book in morbid anticipation. “What?!” she bellowed, no one present to shush her.
Night Sky cowered ever so slightly. “W-what’s wrong, Princess?”
“My sister! That’s what’s wrong! I’m not even convinced she’s a pony! Look at this, Night Sky!”
Night Sky squinted to look at the pages of the book. “It-it’s blank….”
“Exactly! It’s unfathomable a reason wherefore one could’ve such utter secrecy! The lengths! Appalling!”
“P-princess!”
“Night Sky!”
Night Sky looked down in submission.
“Ugh! My sister is… a strange one. She has yet another layer of spells! That would be at least three layers of spells to protect her diary. What could she possibly be hiding in this book?!
“Mark my words, Sister, I will learn your secrets which you hold dear enough to write down. You have made this only more enticing!”
“P-princess?”
“Yes, Night Sky?”
“Uhm… c-can I-I ask if…”
“Yes?” Luna asked impatiently.
“Well… I’m not so sure that I should be doing this with you anymore… I mean… I just realized how private this is, and… I don’t know….”
“Ah, Night Sky, we are in this together. I may be crazed, but if I am crazed with you by my side, nothing can go wrong!”
“I-I…. Alright, Princess….”