After some talk of payment and a few papers were signed, the three of them had moved themselves to the conference room in the rented office space. They had all taken their seats, Nightmare sat in the chair that was directly in front of a large white board while Swift Justice sat in the seat to her right and Cap Grass to her left.
The room had soon filled with silence. Swift Justice taped his hoofs rhythmically on the table as he sat in his seat trying his best to avoid Nightmare's gaze at all cost, while Cap Grass took a completely different approach by instead staring directly at Nightmare Moon almost ogling her.
Nightmare took in a sharp breath. “I am not fond of this drivel. If you two are to continue this nonsense, you wouldn't mind if I perhaps indulge in a snack?” Nightmare horn lit up for a moment and with a flash a kitten popped into existence. The immortal goddess began to lick her lips. Both of them went wide eyed at the implication. Cap quickly pulled the kitten toward him in a hug.
“You can't just eat a kitten. It's a living thing!” Cap snuggled the gray kitten and tightened his hug around the feline.
“I created it, I can do whatever I want with it.” Nightmare motioned her hoofs. “Now, give me the kitten.”
“No!”
“I command it!”
“Never!”
Nightmare looked toward Swift. “You seem slightly more intelligent than your grounded partner, talk some sense into him.”
“W-what!? I'm not going to let you eat a kitten, that probably falls under animal mistreatment!” Swift then sighed inwardly. “It is true, however, that the kitten belongs to you, so...”
"Swift, you can't be-”
“Did you not hear Nightmare Moon? She just threatened to kill you! Do you really want to risk your life for a damn kitten?”
Cap muttered something under his breath then reluctantly loosened his grip around the kitten and set it on the table. Nightmare levitated the cat in front of her and began to pet it. The kitten purred softly and curled up into a ball as she continued to pet it.
"So, you' gonna, you know...?” Cap asked hesitantly.
“What?” A small amount of outrage was carried in her voice. “I'm not a savage, it has yet to be skinned!”
Swift gulped audibly. He knew that she could probably skin that kitten in five seconds flat if she was given the chance. “You know what, how about we get down to business?” Swift put on a forced smile. “We should first tackle the obvious and easiest ways to improve public interactions, your clothes.”
“I don't like what you're implying,” Nightmare said sourly.
“Well, the first step towards amending your image can quite literally be changing your image.” Swift explained. “Sometimes even something as simple as a new hat can put you into a whole new light, and well... you kind of look like you're about to enter a battlefield.”
“Of course I'm wearing defensive regalia, you fool!” Nightmare huffed “Every time I go out to buy milk, I get shot by big rainbow lasers!”
Cap shook his head. “If the armor was helping with the lasers, it'd stand to reason that you wouldn't come for our services, correct?”
She growled under her breath. “It helps.” She protested.
“With what exactly?” Cap pressed.
“Fine!” she snapped at him. “We shall get new attire, but none of that garbage I see most of you shills floundering around in. I expect nothing less than perfection!”
After an unsuccessful interaction with one of the local dressmakers, Swift and Cap opted to instead go to the local Mares Warehouse. Nightmare Night was approaching so along with their normal selection they had a few costumes in the corner by the front door. Cap had jokingly placed a sombrero atop Nightmare's head. Nightmare stood unamused as the kitten she had summoned slept soundly on her back.
“It's perfect.” Cap said, sarcastically as he marveled at Nightmare's head.
“It's perfect if I was attempting to seduce your birth giver,” Nightmare said bitterly. “Now remove this thing from my head before I compress this kitten into a small, fleshy marble.”
“Okay, Jeez. chill out, will ya?” He had to stand on his tip of his hoofs, but he was able to knock the hat off her head and onto the mahogany floor. He didn't bother picking it up as he figured somepony else would eventually.
Swift looked around the store ignoring their banter. “Let's see... they've got dresses, tuxedos, casual wear, and even a nice selection of horseshoes. Where do we get started?”
“I am two heads taller than the average pony, how do you expect to find attire that will fit me in such a dinky general store?”
“Of course they have stuff that'll fit you.” Cap blurted. “Celestia has recently been making unannounced visits with her student living here and all. Some store owners have this ridiculous fear that they'll be placed in a guillotine if they can't propely serve Princess Celestia.”
“That's not that ridiculous,” Nightmare stated. “Celestia use to chop off heads left and right. We didn't have iceboxes back then and a fresh head was necessary for most of the popular sports back then.” Nightmare reminisced for a moment. “Ponies who didn't pay their taxes for four months always had the bounciest of heads.”
Now mentally disturbed, the two of them began to skim the aisles with Nightmare not far behind. At the time, Nightmare had no real interest in clothes and let the two choose outfits for her, but would immediately toss aside the ones that were too pink or had too much branding. After skimming the whole store they held a total of four outfits. With the outfits chosen they moved themselves to the dressing rooms. Usually an assistant stood there ready to unlock a room of your choosing, instead all that was left was a pair of keys and a small puddle on the floor. Nightmare put down her lunch kitten, picked up the keys, and chose the dressing room that was closest. The door shut leaving the two stallions to do their own bidding.
Time passed as they sat idly making sure the cat didn't wander. “Wait a minute,” Swift said. “Why do we need dressing rooms? Aren't we already naked?”
Cap shrugged. “Maybe it's more of a presentation kind of thing, like how they lift the curtains at a play.”
Before they could converse further, The dressing room doors swung open with a bang. Nightmare stood in the archway donning a white button up shirt with a black Blazer and a matching black tie. “Out of your pitiful excuses for 'clothes,' I have decided this particular outfit one is the most befitting of me. Now serf, hand me my lunch cat so we may leave.” Cap set the cat on her back and she began to trot toward the exit.
Swift blocked her path. “Hold on there, we can't just leave. We need to pay first.”
“No shit Sherclop, just throw a few bits on the floor for them to scrape up later.” She shifted her gaze to the seemingly empty store. “They hardly deserve a sixteenth of a bit as they've been avoiding us this entire time!” She hoped to garner the attention of the hiding employees and got a few shuffle from behind the counters as a response.
With the bits tossed on the ground, they made their exit.
“Rarity was right. Nightmare Moon is back, again!”
Instead of being met by the previously empty streets, they were instead met by six ponies standing in a semicircle blocking the store's entrance. A purple unicorn wearing a tiara stood front and center and slightly closer to the trio then the rest. A look of angry determination was present on her face as she stared down Nightmare Moon.
“Nightmare Moon, you have terrorized this town for long enough! With the power of friendship, we shall vanquish you!”
Cap nickered. “Well that's not very friendly.”
Nightmare stepped forward looking irritable and angry. “Terrorize? I wasn't aware that shopping for clothes was considered terrorism. I've not been trying to bring about eternal night for the past week, what more do you want?”
A blue pegasus in the group spoke out.“Don't listen to her, Twilight. She's probably just trying to manipulate us again!”
The purple unicorn nodded in approval. Suddenly a bright light began emanate from their jewelry. As this occurred they began to levitate an inch in the air and the purple pony's eyes went bright with the same light. With little warning a gigantic rainbow shot out from them slamming into Nightmare Moon. Nightmare rolled her eyes as she quickly became a pile of dust. All that was left in her place was a sleeping gray kitten caked in ash. The six of them looked exhausted but simultaneously relieved.
“You two are free from her control! live, love, enjoy life!” A white coated mare said melodramatically. The six of them walked off and chatted about the weather as it was just another Saturday. Swift sat on the ground awestruck by the immense power of the blast. His emotions were muddled and he couldn't decide whether or not what happened was a good or bad thing.
Back in the office's conference room, Swift sat in one of the many chairs and sulked while Cap stood near him and sipped a cup of unsweetened coffee. The pendulum clock could be heard ticking in sync with the kitten grating its claws against the carpet.
“Dude, chill out, it's not the end of the world.” Cap said trying to comfort his friend. “It's kind of the opposite all things considered.”
“Maybe so, but It sure as hell is the end of this business!” Swift snapped. “Having our first customer disintegrated by rainbow lasers doesn't exactly look good on the records, now does it?”
Cap patted Swift on the back “I'm sure if you tell our next potential customers our first customer was Nightmare Moon, they might give us a little leeway.”
Swift shrugged him off. “With how business has been going, we'll be lucky to get another customer before our rent is due. You know damn well that that landlord isn't going to give us an extension on the first month.”
“Maybe it's just not meant to be.” Cap sighed and again sipped his coffee. “We can always just go back to our previous careers. I can go back to that, uh, acting thing, and you can go back to Lawyering, or whatever.” Cap soon realized he'd slipped up and quickly corrected himself. “Right, you don't have a license thingy anymore. Well, I'm sure there's a career out there somewhere for somepony like you.”
“I suppose you're right.” Swift leaned back in his chair. “No idea why I had such high expectations for this business. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.”
“Eh, looking back, maybe it was little weird to try and profit off others' social lives.” Cap took a sip of his coffee, gagged, and then immediately spit it out. The sudden horrid taste of the coffee had caused him to accidentally send the mug hurdling toward the floor. It shattered into several pieces as the liquid once contained in the mug now slowly seeped into the carpet.
“Gee, thanks, Grasshead,” Swift said still in a foul mood. “That's going to be a pain in the flank to clean you know.”
“Hey, don't blame me. You're the one who buys coffee grounds that taste like burnt hair and turpentine.” Before the two could continue their bickering their attention soon drifted to the black stain in the ground. The liquid lifted itself from the ground and started to change its brownish hue to a dark blue. With a flash and a bang the recently thought deceased Nightmare dropped to where the coffee stain once was crushing a few stray ceramic shards under her hoofs.
“I want a refund,” she declared.
“Refund? You haven't even paid us yet!” Swift stated defensively. “Furthermore, what are you doing in my coffee?”
“Fool, My presence alone should be more than sufficient payment!” Nightmare stared at Swift and stepped forward crushing even more ceramic under her hoofs. “For your coffee, I can only assume it was made of black magic, as when I die I reform at the closest pool of it.”
“Who would've thought the branding was literal. I know what brand of coffee I'm not going to be buying again anytime soon.” Swift thought to himself.
“Hey,” Cap nudged Swift's shoulder. “If Nightmare Moon was in my coffee, does that mean I tasted her?” Cap continued to nudge his shoulder. “Heh, you know what I'm sayin'?” His nudging continued as Swift slowly put his face into his hoofs. “I guess you could say I drank her right up. My tongue was all ove—“
“Shut your insolent mandibles!” Nightmare's horn glowed for a brief moment and with a familiar flash Cap's mouth vanished from his features. For a moment he was confused but as he realized what had transpired he panicked and began to roll around on the floor clawing at his muzzle.
Swift looked at his friend with concern. “You know, I think he might need that to breath.”
“Ugh, a mouth breather. Disgusting.” Another flash and Cap's mouth returned. He was about to continue with his antics but stopped when he caught a menacing glare from the unamused alicorn.
Swift reflected on the situation. The proposition of a refund was ridiculous since it'd likely mean they'd lose their first and only customer and also that Nightmare owed them money for the new clothes he paid for with his own savings. The best option would probably to drop down onto his knees and relentlessly beg for another chance. No, wait. She's evil, I think. Evil ponies can't resist a good bet. I'm not much of a gambler, but...
“How about we make a deal.” Nightmare's ear's perked up letting Swift know his theory might be correct. “I doubt we'll make any real progress with those six background ponies breathing down our necks. If I can't get them off your back by next week, I'll give you your refund'. If I'm successful then you have to continue to be our customer throughout the entire span of our contract.”
Nightmare rubbed her chin for a moment, but she didn't need long to ponder her answer. “You've got yourself a deal, but only to give my inevitable refund more value. By next week you won't even have enough money to pay for your free health care!”