//------------------------------// // Complicated Explanations, And Why They Aren't Fun // Story: How to Train Your Tatzlpony // by Voreafillyia //------------------------------// Celestia sat upon her throne, her hooves trying and failing to rub away a growing headache. Jacob stood in front of her throne, his hands behind his back as he glanced nervously to and fro. Just beside him, the newly transformed Princess Luna rubbed up against his leg affectionately. “Okay, let me get this straight.” Celestia spoke, her eyes managed to peek open as she glared down at the two before her throne. “This started when, exactly?” Jacob could only offer a shrug in response. “You’ve got me.” He glanced down to Luna, who gave a curious look to Jacob, then over to Celestia, before looking back at Jacob again. Jacob smiled and reached over to pet her, but stopped as the sudden and abrupt sound of a stomping hoof echoed through the room. “Jacob, this isn’t the time for games.” Celestia’s face was contorted, her eyes narrowed as all the fatigue in her voice from earlier washed away. “I need you to try and recall every detail of what transpired last night, because I know for certain that my sister was not like this yesterday.” The sudden action and loud noise caused Luna to bare her flat teeth and growl at Celestia. Jacob cringed, then found interest in an unoccupied corner of the throne room. “It’s complicated.” He stated. “It involves a trip through the badlands, a few arguments, a tatzlwurm attack, re-animated bones, an ancient burial chamber, some chaos runes, an enchanted book—” “Wait, what was that last thing you said?” Celestia interjected. “What, the re-animated bones? It was kind of annoying really, they were just some small creatures that nipped at our legs.” Jacob rolled his eyes. “No, no, no, no, the other thing. The ancient burial chamber.” Celestia corrected. “Oh, that.” Jacob replied. “It was kind of chance really. One of Luna’s guards stepped on a section of loose sand. The ground fell out from under us, and we fell onto a set of stairs that led to a large stone.” As Jacob spoke, Luna found her way back under Jacob’s hand, nudging it on top of her head again and nuzzled into it affectionately. Jacob continued, despite this. “After we rolled the stone out of the way, we found some sort of Mareyan ruins. It seemed to belong to a denomination of them that worshiped the tatzlwurm.” Luna walked back behind Jacob, then stood up on her hind legs. She poked her head on top of his shoulder and licked at his face with her tentacle-tongue. Celestia did not give any indication that she noticed this, her guards on the other hand, gave the slightest of eye twitches. “What did you find in there?” Celestia urged him to continue. “Aside from dust and dozens of traps?” Jacob asked, before crossing his arms. “Nothing much. Luna found some interest in a bo— woah!” Jacob cried out as he suddenly fell forward onto the floor. Luna was standing behind him, but once he fell, she gave out an excited squeal and quickly laid down on top of him. Only his head was sticking out from under her barrel, and she quickly assaulted it with excited licking. Celestia leaned back in her throne, letting out a sigh. She leaned forward again, and spoke with force in her voice. “Luna, get off of Jacob and let him finish his story.” Luna responded with an angry growl, quickly curling her forelegs around Jacob’s prone form and hugging him close. Jacob huffed at the sudden application of more pressure and squirmed underneath her. “Luna, Celestia really needs to hear about what happened. Can we save this for later?” Luna gazed down at him. her ears splayed backwards, and she gave Jacob a sad look. After a bit though, she willingly got off of him. Jacob stood and dusted himself off. Celestia cleared her throat. “Jacob, you were saying?” “Oh, right.” Jacob scratched his chin. “Well, there was a book. It was floating above a pedestal, Luna seemed really interested in it. After that, a rock fell from the ceiling and hit her in the head.” Celestia gasped softly. “Is that when she started acting strange?” “No, actually.” Jacob scratched the back of his head. “I got the book from the pedestal, but she took it back with her. She said she wanted to study it, and I was pretty tired so I went to bed. After that, she showed up in my room in the middle of the night looking like…” Jacob gestured towards Luna. “... that.” Luna tilted her head ever so slightly. Celestia looked back and forth between Jacob and Luna. “And you are definitely telling the truth, Jacob?” “Of course, Princess.” Jacob confirmed, smiling. “I have nothing to hide from you.” Celestia sighed. “While your honesty is appreciated, I’ll need to confirm your story with the guards who accompanied you. As for that book you mentioned, I don’t suppose you know where it is?” Jacob shook his head. “Luna had it with her when we came back, I don’t know where it could be though.” “I see.” She turned to the guards on either side of her throne. “Assign some guard to check Princess Luna’s room and the royal library. If she was studying the book last night, it’s bound to be in one of those two places.” One of the guards snapped a salute and galloped through the door. Jacob watched him go. “As for you, Jacob.” Jacob cringed as Celestia’s words reached his ears. “I need to speak with you. In private.” Celestia rose from her throne and made her way towards the throne room doors, beckoning for him to follow. Jacob did as asked, Luna following close behind. Celestia stopped, then turned to look at her sister. “Luna, I’m going to have to ask you to wait here. Jacob and I will only be gone for a few minutes.” Luna didn’t seem to understand, or she simply didn’t care. She stayed where she was, and her tail waved to and fro behind her. “You can try to tell her to go away, but she won’t listen.” Jacob sighed. “Believe me, I’ve tried. Anywhere I go, she keeps following me. Even when I tell her to stay. Not sure why she’s acting this way.” Celestia closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “Fine, follow me then.” She led them through the double door sof the throne room. Once they were out into the hallway, and Celestia was sure they were alone, she turned to face the two of them. “I’m going to be frank with you, Jacob.” Celestia spoke, staring the human down. “What you two did has to be one of the most irresponsible, and downright foolish things I’ve seen.” Jacob’s gaze fell to the floor, and he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did you even stop to consider the repercussions of your actions?” Celestia asked as she paced back and forth in front of Jacob. “A burial chamber no one has touched for possibly thousands of years, riddled with traps, Luna get struck on the head and takes an ancient artifact from the room, and you didn’t tell anyone?” “Well, to be fair, Luna made me promise not to tell anyone.” Jacob interrupted. “When my sister is hurt, and has made off with a thousands of year old artifact that was protected with magical traps, I feel like I should at least be informed.” Celestia replied sternly. “Now we are stuck with whatever ancient spell she triggered that turned her into what you see now.” Celestia’s wings slowly unfurled as she walked. “They Equestria Royal Summons is coming up in no less than a week in the Crystal Empire. All of Equestria’s princesses are expected to attend. Tell me, can Luna attend as she is now?” Celestia gestured to Luna with a wing. Luna backed up a few steps, looking despondent. “I’m pretty sure ‘being transformed into a different species’ falls under the category of legitimate excuses,” Jacob replied. “Look, I’m sorry that this happened. I’m going to try and fix it, okay?” “See that you do.” Celestia shook her head. “I honestly thought that you two would be smarter than this. I only turned a blind eye to these expeditions that you and Luna went on because Luna seemed genuinely happy to be going on them. The happiest that I’ve seen her be since her return, in fact.” Celestia stopped pacing, and gave the two her full attention. “If this is going to be a recurring problem, however, I’m going to have to ask that you stop.” Jacob clenched his fist. “That’s not fair! My way home could be out there, in one of those ruins! Would you cut me off from my home?!” Celestia’s expression softened. “Jacob, I told you. I have my best mages working on a solution. You have to give them some time.” “I don’t have time!” Jacob exclaimed. “I can only think about how much time that I’ve lost back home already, my friends and family probably think I’m dead!” Jacob’s outburst stopped as he felt something rubbing up against his hand. He looked down to see Luna rubbing up against him, a sad look on her face. Jacob sighed and pet her. “I’m sorry, I’m just really worried about my home.” Celestia nodded. “I understand your desire to return home. I could not bear the thought of being separated from my little ponies for so long.” “Princess!” The sound of galloping interrupted them, and a white guard in gold armor approached. He held a book that Jacob instantly recognized in his magical grasp. “We’ve found it!” “Let me see it.” Celestia ordered. The guard handed it over, and she opened the book. “Ah, it is as I feared.” Celestia closed the book with a sigh. “The spell’s not reversible?” Jacob asked. “I am unsure.” Celestia levitated the book. “That is just it, it is in a language I cannot read. My guess is that Luna was trying to decipher it when the spell activated.” “Oh.” Jacob crossed his arms. “So, what do we do, then?” Celestia thought only for a moment before a scroll popped into existence in front of her with a flash of gold. “I am going to send you to someone that will do a better job of deciphering it than I.” “Some kind of translator?” Jacob asked as Luna stared at the book curiously. “No, someone better.” The scroll vanished in a golden flash. “You’re going to go see Princess Twilight Sparkle. If there’s anyone who can discern the workings behind a spell we know nothing about, it’s her.” Princess Twilight Sparkle. Jacob heard her name and saw her a few times for some royal meetups in the past, but he’d never really gotten the chance to talk to her. “She can read this language?” “Maybe not, but she’s your next best step in helping to decode it.” Celestia answered before turning to walk back towards the throne room. “I need to finish my work in the Day Court, and with Luna indisposed I may need to take over the Night Court as well. I trust you can do this on your own?” Jacob quickly saluted. Celestia smiled and nodded. “Alright. You’ll likely be gone for a few days, so pack your things. I wish you luck, and please report to me what you find.” Jacob nodded as Celestia stepped back into the throne room with her guards. It swung shut with a loud boom that reverberated through the hallways. Jacob released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding before he began to pet Luna again. “Well, looks like we’re going on a road trip.” Luna nuzzled against his hand happily.