//------------------------------// // The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse. // Story: Prototype: Equestria & The Rise of Pariah // by The Joeker //------------------------------// As Pariah dropped from the plane, he curled himself up to slow his fall a little, what he saw unnerved him... he was above a forest... Luckily he had dropped with his survival backpack, plenty of MREs and camp supplies. And above him, the plane was missing, not necessarily good... Suddenly the voice said: "20,000ft" what? it should be much higher... "Fuck!" he yelled and pulled his chute, he landed just outside of the forest, and burnt the chute so no enemy would see it. "Ok... time to move." he said and got his M16 ready, with his 50.cal sniper he carried on his back ever since Washionton, which had come in handy more then once. He moved through the woodland, it was a rather nice forest... to nice... pastel, come to think of it... "This ain't Russia." he said and put his M16 on his back and took his face mask down so it was around his neck like a neck warmer. He saw a cottage in the distance. "Hmm, see if anybody's home..." he said and approached, before he could knock, he saw a note on the door. 'To whomever it may concern' 'Gone out, preparing for Summer Sun Celebration, please try to find me there... if you don't mind...' 'Fluttershy' And it was signed with three butterflies... "Pariah, you are not in Kansas anymore..." said Pariah, he must have landed... somewhere else... "Overlord this is Pariah Actual, I am not at DZ, repeat not at Drop Zone, how copy?" *static* "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, Callsign: Hemorrhage, I repeat, not at DZ, have landed... somewhere else, how copy? over." he said Nothing... "Well this is a giant bag of balls!" exclaimed Pariah, and a rabbit approached him. "Hey buddy, don't suppose you know where civilization is? I'm kinda lost." he said. Suddenly the bunny gave a look of sympathy and patted his boot and pointed toward some smoke stacks- oh, smoke stacks... embarassing... "Thanks buddy, have some... chocolate?" he asked and unwrapped a candy bar, the bunny eagerly nodded his head and grasped it, seemingly muttering "Thank you." before hopping off in joy. "I'm going crazy." he said and took his helmet off, revealing his slicked back hair. He put it in his backpack and kept walking toward the smoke. Suddenly he felt a rush of air and looked u- THE FUCK?! A fucking. flying. motherfucking. chariot. overhead pulled by two winged... horses? Son of a bitch... He got to the town before it as it passed over once to come in for a landing. He crouched on a hill outside and looked down two binoculars at the townsfolk... Fuck his life... Horses... everywhere... he even heard talking and made out a few words... Hmm, time for something unconventional... If he could just picture himself... It had been a while since he'd used his powers. Perfect! He looked himself over... he had two silver shoes on... made of literal silver, a giant goddamn horn and two giant goddamn wings, and a dna strand on his ass. Oh well, better to blend in... Suddenly he heard a scream, faint but for his senses, clear as a bell. He headed toward it and saw a mauled pony, by some kind of animal. He crouched over the pony, a unicorn... "Please..." groaned the pony. "Thank you." he replied, the pony looked confused before seeing tendrils attach to his body and absorb him. Nothing could have been done for him, he was dead, and now Pariah knew how to do magic, well basics at least. He headed back to town with his new knowledge, unfortunately some of the ponies memories were clouded due to his state before consumption. As he walked, he saw what he must assume is the town hall... He entered and saw a young mare sitting behind a desk. "Ahem, I was wonderin-" he stopped when she gasped and bowed... "Your majesty!" she said. "Err what?" he asked. "You are an Alicorn! you must be royalty!" exclaimed the mare... hang on... the wings... the horn, no other horse had both... "Err, yeah, but not from here, I have travelled a great distance, I seek a normal life, I was wondering about accommodation here..." he said. "Well, you can take the library! it is the Golden Oak in the middle of town! just have it, you have traveled a long way, I'm sure Mayor Mare won't mind, with that pack, I assume you have traveled quite the distance." smiled the secretary and grabbed the keys in her mouth, suddenly on instinct he took the magic in a red misty aura. "Grazie." he said to make himself sound foreign. "Oh my, is that your language?" asked the mare. "Si- err yes, ahem." he coughed and walked out. Suddenly he jumped and back flipped out of the way of the chariot that landed where he was stood, he used his new wings to make it seem like it was them that did it, and not his natural jumping ability. "Guys! watch out! you nearly hit somepony!" said a male voice from the chariot. "Sorry... sir... we needed... to land..." panted the horse driving it, he looked to be military judging by his armor. "At ease son." said Pariah and lifted the harness off of him with his teeth. "Thanks... sir..." said the horse and immediately bowed. "I'm not royalty from around here dude, just here to live life." he said and the guard straightened up. "I'm sorry they almost hit you, if you'd like to file a complaint, don't hesitate." said a purple horse who looked like her dragon... ok, I'm going to ignore the dragon factor, but by the way she looked back at him he had forced her to say sorry. "I'd like to file a complaint that you're scaly friend there is making you apologise, when it wasn't your fault." said Pariah and it brought a smile to her face, which looked cute... "That can be arranged." she said. "What's your name sweetcheeks?" he asked. "Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, and yours?" she asked with a blush, now noticing his wings and horn. Considering her name he would have to choose carefully... "Pariah, my name is Pariah." he said, his given name was perfect! "Pariah? what an exotic name, are you royalty?" asked Twilight. "Was, at one time, then I decided to escape, I was a soldier fighting a war for a few years." he said. "War? there hasn't been war in Equestria for 1000 years..." said Twilight. "It wasn't here, it was far away, I've been trying to get away from that life." said Pariah as they walked. -Pariah's POV- "Twilight, you need to try with ponies." said Spike as a pink pony appeared out of thin air. "Hello" said Twilight after a deep breath to the pink pony. The pink one took in a massive breath and flew off, I had to do the horse- err pony limbo to avoid her. "Well, that was interesting alright..." she said. "Anyway... I am new here as well, may I accompany you for the time being?" I said as I recovered from my Hermes-like limbo. "Very well, follow me" she said and walked away. The dragon sighed and we followed her. "So, what exactly are we doing?" I asked. "Preparing for the annual Summer Sun Celebration." she said as I walked beside her, I glanced at her. "Rrrriiiigghhhhhttt." I said like Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. She sighed. "It is the legend of the Mare in the Moon, who is set to return and bring everlasting night "on the longest day of the thousandth year"–the summer solstice–since her defeat, which is also the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration. Princess Celestia, Nightmare Moon may have been imprisoned for a thousand years, It is a celebration of Celestia imprisoning her and restoring the sun to Equestria." said Twilight. "If you believe the legends." said Spike. "Something I've learned? always believe the legends." I said. "So you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Look, I've found some strange things during my time here, if magic exists, why can't this tale be real?" I asked. "I suppose..." said Twilight. Suddenly I saw something which caught my eye There was a magazine article with the front page as a picture of Celestia walking to the palace. I shook my head and concentrated on what the dragon was saying. "The summer sun celebration official overseer's checklist! 1# banquet preparations-Sweet Apple Acres." said the dragon as we approached the place aforementioned. "That name tho." I said. "Yeehah!" came a voice. We turned and saw an orange pony running at a tree. "I tried that once... it left a dent in the tree and my head." I said as it made me recall when I was testing the viruses limits. "That must've hurt." said the dragon. "You don't say." said Twilight. She bucked a tree and all the apples fell into baskets. "Haha, I wish that's what happened when I did it." I chuckled, the tree fell over when I did it... and traveled a few hundred yards... "Let's get this over with." sighed Twilight. "Right away ma'am." I said as we approached the mare. "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle." she said. "I'm Pariah." I said nonchalantly. She shook both our hand/hoof suddenly. "Well, howdy do, mrs. Twilight, mr. Pariah, pleasure making your acquaintance." "Howdy, girl, good to see someone else who talks like this." I said in the same accent, I consumed people all around the world, you pick up accents, what can I say? "I'm Applejack, we here at Sweet Acres sure like making new friends- sheesh, your hoof is warm!" she said, the virus increaded my body heat quite a bit if I remember, I turned down my body temp to normal. "Always nice to meet someon- err somepony new." I said, still getting used to this. "say, what're you?" she asked. "Alicorn, not from here." I said. "I see that." she said. "Err, friends? actuallllllyyyyy I err-" she said as she was still shaking us. "So, what can I do you for?" she asked. Both our hands/hoofs were still shaking. I grabbed my arm to steady it and it fell to my side. Twilight smiled awkwardly and Spike grabbed her hoof and it stopped. She glared at him and he chuckled. "Well honey, we're lookin for some apples, an' we hear yours are the best around." I said in the accent. "Ahem, yes, we're in fact here to supervise preparations for the summer sun celebration." said Twilight. "Err, that, you're in charge of the food darlin'?" I said. "We sure are, sir, would you err, like to sample some?" she blushed. "Please, as long as it doesn't take to long." I said as she rushed away and rang a bell. "Souuuuup's on everypony!" she called. Suddenly we were almost trampled by a lot of ponies. We came to at a table and Applejack popped up next to us. "Now, how bout' I introduce y'all to the Apple family?" she said. Suddenly there were at least 17 ponies around us. "Stereotypes much?" I mumbled. "Thanks, but we really need to hurry-" started Twilight as a pie was thrust in her face. "This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Caramel Apple..." after that I lost count as the dishes piled up until she said. "Big Mcintosh, Apple Bloom aaaannnnnd, Granny Smith, up and at em' Granny Smith, we got guests." she finished as she put an apple in Twilights mouth and put one in my hoof. The granny stirred. "Err, what? Im'a comin." she said. "Look, it's like you're already part of the family!" she exclaimed. Twilight spat out the apple and I rubbed mine on my chest and took a bite. "I'm usually a meat guy, but damn this is a good apple" I said, making sure to keep the 'meat' part on the down-low, it was good... ot the human part of me, but the goodness lasted 2 seconds before it turned to ash in my mouth... "Well, I can see the food situation is handled, so err, we'll be on our way." said Twilight. I finished my apple and disintegrated the core. "Aww, aren't you gonna stay for brunch?" asked a small pony who blinked her eyes a couple times. "Sorry but, we have an awful lot to do." said Twilight. "Aww." said everypony. "Hey don't y'all worry, I'm a sure we'll see y'all round." I said. "Fine." said Twilight finally. Everypony cheered, Twilight looked less than impressed. We had apple... everything basically. Come around midday we were stuffed. "That was amazing, I hadn't realised it'd been so long since I'd eaten," I said. "What's amazing? the food? or Applejack?" asked Twilight, teasing me. "Quiet you." I said. I suddenly noticed Twilight lagging We got to the top of the hill and Spike announced. "That's the food taken care of, next is weather." said Spike. "Ugghh, I ate too much pie." she groaned. "One can never have to much pie." I said. "Yeah right..." said Twilight. "Weather? look up?" I asked. "No! the Pegsi ,should clear the sky." said Spike. "Come again?" I asked. "Who controls the weather where you're from?" asked Spike. "The weather moves on it's own, we must bear the elements, rain, sleet or shine." I said. "That sounds scary! and dangerous!" said Spike. "Can be." I said. "Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." said Spike. "Well, she's not doing a very good job is she?" asked Twilight as she was thrown into the mud by Rainbow Dash. "Youch, you ok?" I chuckled. "Err, excuse me?" laughed the pegasus as I helped Twilight up. "Haha, damn!" I said. "Let me help you." said Rainbow Dash, amusement evident in her voice. She moved a rain cloud above her and bounced on it until the rain was gone from it. Twilight looked less happy now she was wet. "Oops, I guess I overdid it, how about this? my very own rainblow dry." she said and encircled Twilight quickly. "Hello, dirt pile? pile of dirt? dirt? I'm looking for some dirt, have you seen some dirt? it's about yea high, kinda looks like dirt, hello? dirt? hey someone took away this dirt! where'd all the dirt go? well, I better check with this dirt over here, hey! have you seen some dirt!? it looked pretty brown and was earthy, kinda like dirt, goes by the name of earth if you've ever heard of it before, also known as dirt... it's in the ground, it actually IS the ground have you seen it? ground, dirt? really fine powdery dirt? have you seen it? a dirt pile? it's in a pile, well not really, it's kinda flat, but it's dirt, have you seen it? no? well fuck you then!" I said. "No no, no need to thank me, you're quite welcome." she said. "Nice afro, suits you." I said as Twilight's hair was puffed up and me and Rainbow Dash laughed, I never unserstood how they couldn't change their hairstyles at will like me. "Haha!" we both laughed, she fell over in laughter as did Spike. "Lighten up." I said as I saw the unamusement on her face. "Let me guess, you're Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight. "THE one and only." she said and stood up proudly with a hoof on her chest. "Ego much?" I asked. "Why? you heard of me?" she asked. "We heard that you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear." she said and sighed. "Names Pariah, professional comedian and one of the only current Alicorns in Equestria." I bowed with sarcasm in my voice "Tell me a joke then." said Rainbow Dash. "this is the story of four people named Everypony, Somepony, Anypony and Nopony, there was an important job to be done and Everypony was asked to do it, Anypony could've done it but Nopony did it, Somepony got angry about that because it was Everypony's job, Everypony thought Anypony could do it but Nopony realized that Everypony wouldn't do it, Consequently, it wound up that Nopony told Anypony, so Everypony blamed Somepony." I said, mastered the art of using 'pony' instead of 'body' hah! She burst out laughing. "I'm Twilight Sparkle and the Princess sent me to check on the weather, Pariah is new as well, so he' tagging along." she said. "Yeah yeah, that'll be a snap, I'll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I'm done practising." she said. "Practising for what?" asked Twilight. "I knew there was a bloody catch, just once I'd like to just ask someone for help and for them to say 'sure, let's go, right now! no strings attached! sweet Celestia...'" I said using a curse I'd heard more than once. "The Wonderbolts!" she said and pointed to poster of a group of ponies. "They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow! and I'm gonna show em' my stuff!" she exclaimed. "That's... one way to get what you want." I said with a grin. "What?" she asked. "Nevermind." I said. "Wait... THE Wonderbolts?" asked Twilight. "Yep." replied Rainbow. "The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?" she asked again. "Thats them." she replied. "Please, they'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day." said Twilight. "Clever." I whispered and she winked at me. "Hey! I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat." she said. "Go on then, prove it, I'll time ya." I said. She then darted around clearing clouds. She finished and hovered in front of us. "What'd I say? ten seconds flat, I'd never leave Ponyville hangin'." she said. "Actually it was 9 but good try." I said. "Haha, you should see the look on your face." said Rainbow Dash to Twilight and Spike. "She's right, that surprise tho." I laughed. "Ha! you're a laugh Twilight Sparkle, and Pariah you're a funny, err... pony I guess? oh well, I can't wait to hang out some more!" she said. "Count on it." I said as she flew away. "Wow! she's amazing!" said Spike. "Why not marry her?" I asked. "Because err..." he started. "Nah, I'm just messin' with you." I said. He flicked Twilights new afro and laughed. She walked away. "Wait! it's kinda pretty once you get used to it!" he said. "That's true, it really does look pretty on you..." I said as we entered the tailors. "Pretty?" asked Twilight and I stopped in realisation of what I said. "Decoration! beautiful..." sighed Spike. "True dat, very intricate designs." I said. "Yes, the decor is coming along nicely, this oughta be quick." said Twilight. "I don't think anything will ever be as pretty as- err nevermind let's just check on this." I said. "You were going to say Twilight!" teased Spike. "I was not!" I protested. "Anyway, I'll be at the library in no time." said Twilight, ignoring our little argument. "Ok." I said, I'd chat with her about the library later. "Well, it is beautiful indeed." agreed Twilight. "Not the decor, her..." sighed Spike. "Dude, mutual respect, +1 for interspecies relationships, hell ya!" I said. "No, no, no, no, oh! goodness no" said the white pony. "How are my spines? are they straight?" he asked. "Spot on dude, be smooth, suave, and don't be too obvious." I said. "Good afternoon-" started Twilight, who'd let us gents talk. We caught up "Just a moment please! I'm in the zone, as it were, oh, yes! sparkle always does the trick, does it not? why, Rarity, you are a talent, now, um, how can I help yo- oh my stars, darling! whatever happened to your coiffure?!" she asked. "Oh you mean my mane? oh well, it's a long story, we're just here to check on the decorations, and then we'll be out of your hair." "Or coiffure, as it were, respectively." I added. "And my! what nice shoes you have adorned around your hooves!" she said to me. "Oh, what? this? something from my homeland, anyway we'll be out of your-" I started. "Out of my hair? what about your hair?" she asked Twilight. "I think it suits her, although it is messy." I said as Rarity pushed Twilight. "Wait, where are we going? help!" she said. "Dude, if you want her, you need to speak up, ask her out, and stop staring." I said as I turned his head to face me. "But I can't!" he said. "Try, I can barely control myself around... a certain pony, I feel like I want to just kiss her and confess my love, although I doubt she'd ever return it, and I don't care as long as she's happy." I said as we followed them, I exaggerated a little but still... "So what do I do?" he asked, not asking me who I meant luckily. "Talk to the mare, it's gonna be a helluva lot easier for you to ask her out than me asking mine, find out what she likes, be interesting, keep her happy and you'll do fine, it doesn't have to be now, you could try later, get used to this new feeling first, work it out with yourself, decide how you want to proceed." I told him. "Thanks." he said. "No problem." I said as we entered a building. "No, no uh uh, too green, to yellow, too poofy, not poofy enough, too frilly, too... shiny, now go on, my dears, you were telling me where you're from." said Rarity as she pulled...I think it was a corset out. Ouch... "I've... been... sent... from... Canterlot... to-" she started before Rarity let go and she went flying. "Are you ok? that corset... youch" I chuckled. "Canterlot!" exclaimed Rarity. "Not me." I said. "Oh, I'm so envious, the glamour, the sophistication, I've always dreamed of living there!" she said. "sophisticated? sounds nice." I said. "Nice? nice?! it's perfect! I can't wait to hear all about it!" she said. "Uh huh." I said. "We're going to be the best of friends, you, you and I." she said and got in between me and Twilight. "Err, sure…" I said. "Emeralds?! what was I thinking? let me get you some rubies!" she said and ran off. "Quick! before she decides to dye my coat a new colour!" exclaimed Twilight and we ran. Spike sighed in happiness. We ran out and I chuckled. "Dude, I think you're on the level of smitten, it's a really nice feeling, isn't it?" I asked, he was lollygagging so I put him on Twilights back, who didn't mind. "Yeah, wasn't she wonderful?" asked Spike to himself more than us. "Focus Casanova, what's next on the list?" asked Twilight. "You know Casanova was famed for mainly his sexual exploits? and Casanova once played the card game piquet for 42 hours without a break." I informed. Twilight blushed at the first part... she looked nice with that blush... "Really? wow, anyway, err, music! it's the last one!" exclaimed Spike. Suddenly we stopped as we heard whistling. We entered a clearing and a yellow pegasus was hovering in front of some birds that were the source of the singing. "Oh my, err stop please everyone." she said and flew up to a blue bird. "Not bad..." I mumbled. "Excuse me sir, no offence but your rhythm is just a teenie, tiny bit off." she said. 'She knows her music' I thought. "Follow me please, a 1, 2 3-" she cut off. "Hello!" said Twilight and scared the girl and the birds out of their minds. "Hi there." I said. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to frighten your birds." said Twilight. "We?" I asked. "Me, I didn't." she sighed. "Nice orchestra, almost perfect harmony, one more practise and it'll be perfecto." I said. "Yeah, we're here to check on the music and it's sounding beautiful." said Twilight. "Now, I may have heard better music in different styles, but not from anything like that, I've always loved listening to birds sing in the morning." I said as she landed. She kicked the dirt nervously for a second. Twilight smiled and shifted her eyes awkwardly. "I'm Twilight Sparkle." "Pariah." I said. She looked quite nervous. "What's your name?" she asked. "Errm, I'm Fluttershy" she said quietly, my enhanced hearing allowing me to hear it perfectly. 'A... weirdly fitting name, but a nice name nonetheless' I thought. "I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Twilight. "Err, my name is Fluttershy." she mumbled and backed away. "Didn't quite catch that." said Twilight. She seemed to call the birds back, that or she whimpered. "Well, errm it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order." she said. "Looks eccezionale(awesome) to me" I said. "Keep up the good work." said Twilight as we walked away. She just whimpered again. "Ok... well, that was easy." said Twilight as Spike approached. Suddenly the girl jumped up. "A baby dragon!" she exclaimed and flew over, knocking Twilight over. I hit the D.E.C.K! "I've never seen a baby dragon before! oh he's so cute" she said. Spike looked away to Twilight. "Well, well, well." he said as I helped Twilight up and she thanked me. "Oh my, he talks? I didn't know dragons could talk!" she said. "Do rahlo nust tinvaak." I said in a deep tongue, one guy I consumed learned Dovahzul from Skyrim, plus I was born in the year of the dragon. "Was that ancient dragon?" asked Spike. "Yep, learnt it a while back." I said. "This is just so incredibly wonderful, I- I just don't even know what to say." she said. Twilight picked Spike up with magic and put him on her back. "Wait! what's his name?" "Zeik." I replied in dragon. "Hah, I'm Spike." he said. "Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy, wow a talking dragon, and what do dragons talk about?" she replied. "Well, what do you wanna know?" he asked. "Absolutely everything!" she replied. Twilight sighed and I interjected certain things about them that Spike didn't know. "How do you know so much about them anyway?" she asked. "I was born in the year of the Dragon in my country, where a different country celebrates certain years based on an animal, I was always interested in dragons so I know quite a lot." I explained. -An hour later- "And that's the story of my whole entire life, well, up until today... do you wanna hear about today?" he asked. "Oh, yes please." she said, as we approached the library. Twilight did a 180 and said: "I'm sorry but how did we get here so fast? this is where I'm staying in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep." "Hold on, you're staying? I was given the library to stay as well..." I said. "We'll sort it out, after we've got Spike into bed, he needs his little sleep." "No I don'- woah!" he said as she launched him off her back. "Aww look at that, he's so sleepy he can't even keep his little balance." she said in a childlike voice. "Poor thing, you simply must get him to bed." said Fluttershy and flew him in. I walked in as well. "Yes yes, we'll get right on that, well, goodnight!" she said, and slammed the door. "Huh, rude much?" asked Spike. "Sorry, but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming." said Twilight. "Wait what? Nightmare Moon?" I asked. "Yes its a-" "Yes, yes I know the story, you told me, you seem ok, and I believe you." I said. "I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time, now, where's the light?" she asked, but I stopped her. "There's somepony in here with us..." I said, when the light suddenly flipped "Surprise!" "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! were you surprised? were ya? were ya? huh huh huh?" she said and jumped a little close for comfort. "Yeah, ok, 1. don't run me up, 2. please don't EVER do that again, or I might either die from shock or punch one of you in the face on instinct." "Sorry! what about you?" she asked Twilight. "Very surprised, libraries are supposed to be quiet." she said, I was getting tired of this trying to be friendly bullcrap. "Well, that's silly! what kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? you were all 'hello' and I was all *gasp* remember? y'see I've never saw you before and if I've never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!" "God, would you shut up!?" I exclaimed, making everypony stop. "Sorry, headache, kinda on the grouchy side." I lied, I was reverting back to my old thinking, mortals... Twilight groaned and poured a drink. "Anyway, and if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went *gasp!* I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! see? and now you have lots and lots of friends!" she said, and I started to climb the stairs to bed, I usually just go into my mind and find amusing memories, it's the closest I get to sleep. Suddenly Twilights face went red and she had tears forming in her eyes. "Are you alright, sugarcube?" asked AJ. "Aww, she's so happy she's crying!" said Pinkie as Twilight ran upstairs past me and I went to see if she's alright. "Hot sauce, ooh..." said Spike. I found her pouring water down her throat and I picked up a bottle of milk. "Try this." I said and she gulped it. "Ahhh..." she sighed in relief. "One bed? bollocks..." I mumbled as I dropped my backpack in the corner of the room. "So, you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Yeah, I do." I confirmed as we sat on the bed. "Thanks, not many ponies do..." said Twilight. "Maybe because I'm not a pony..." I said. "What?" asked Twilight. "Ok, promise you won't freak." I said. "Promise." she smiled and I took away my pony form, revealing me in my marine spec ops gear. "Here." I said and she gawked at me. "Wha-" she was at a loss for words. "I'm a hum- a Runner, a race of bipedal people." I said as vaguely as possible. "Wow, can I ask you some questions later?" she asked with a cute yawn. "Yeah sure, I'll sleep on the floor." I said and got down. "Err... you don't have to... you could... climb in here with me, I mean this house is both of ours." she said. "Ok..." I said and got in, Twilight insisted I be the 'big spoon' even though I was on the other side of the bed... -a few hours later- "Hey Twilight! Pinkie Pie's starting 'pin the tail on the pony'! wanna play?" asked Spike as he burst in, I quickly switched forms, and removed my arm from Twilight's midsection, it appeared I had draped an arm over Twilight in my 'sleep' "No! all the ponies in this town are crazy! do you know what time it is?!" she asked. "About a quarter past 9, why?" I asked and fell back in bed and she pushed me down with a slight smile. "It's the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, everypony has to stay up, or they'll miss the Princess raise the sun! you really should lighten up, Twilight, It's a party! I'll leave you alone for a second." he said, referring to me and Twilight sharing a bed. I got up stretched. "Sorry, next time I'll lock the door to save you the embarrassment." "It's fine, ugh, here I thought I'd have time to learn about the Elements of Harmony but, silly me, all this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it! 'Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night' I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old ponytale..." she said "Look Twi, I've seen some messed up stuff, enough that I believe you, but you should just relax, nothing you can do about it now, try to have fun, the time comes, I'll have your back." I said. "Thanks." she said half heartedly. "It's fine..." suddenly I noticed how beautiful Twilight looked in the moonlight... We both leaned in close... our lips almost touched. "C'mon, guys, it's time to watch the sunrise!" said Spike, snapping us out of it. "Yeah, we're a' comin'" I said and me and Twilight made eye contact for a second before looking away... damn it no! I'm a virus! an immortal virus! beyond life and death! I have no need for... love... My thoughts plagued me as we walked out to the town hall. "I can't wait to see the Princess!" I said to keep enthusiasm up. "She'll be glad to meet you, if you plan on telling her." said Twilight nervously... I would have to I suppose. "I will." "And maybe she can kick your flank for trying to kiss me." said Twilight, humour in her words but a deadpan expression. I rolled my eyes and entered the Town Hall with the others. "Isn't this exciting? are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited- well, except for the time that I saw you walking into town and I went *gasp* but I mean really, who can top that?" asked Pinkie Pie in the crowd as the fanfare started. "Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" said the mayor. Everypony cheered. "Ready, I have a bad feeling..." said Twilight. I nodded. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! and now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." she introduced. Where is she? I don't sense a heartbeat, o a thermal signature behind the- oh wait, I got one.. a big swirling one... "Princess Celestia!" announced the mayor as Rarity pulled the curtains back to reveal nothing... Everypony gasped. "Oh fuck me." I said. "This... can't be good." said Twilight. "Remain calm everypony there must be a reasonable explanation." said the mayor. I sighed . "You don't say Twi." I murmured. "Oh oh! I love guessing games, is she hiding?" asked Pinkie. Suddenly the few guards on the balcony had disappeared. "She's gone!" said Rarity. Everypony gasped and I facepalmed hooved. "Oh, she's goooood." said Pinkie before screaming as a blue mist surrounded the balcony, the signature I saw before... "It's times like this I feel like I should panic, but I don't have the energy." I said, I had my confidence now. "Oh, no, Nightmare Moon..." said Twilight as a navy blue, bordering on black pony with a glowing blue mane appeared. I whistled as Spike fainted. "Damn, she huge!" I said she wasn't a big as me but still "Oh, my beloved subjects, it's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun loving faces." I burst out laughing. "Ya know, it's funny because she's trying to sound scary but she just sounds like a stuck up bitch!" I said while laughing. "Oh, what is this? a fellow Alicorn? a male Alicorn?" she asked while looking at me " 'That' is something which finds this whole situation to be funny as hell! hey, what do you call a sister who refused to lower the moon? Lunacy!" I said as I ROTFLOL'd. She just sighed. "What did you do with our Princess?" asked Rainbow Dash and attempted to fly at her while Applejack held her tail. "Woah there Nelly." she mumbled. "Head, or tail?" I asked as my laughter died down. She laughed evilly. "Why? am I not royal enough for you?" she asked. "Yeah, a royal pain in the ass!" I chuckled. She flew directly in front of me while everyone backed away and I just stood there as my hair was blown back. I flicked a speck of dust off my shoulder as best I could with a hoof, she was studying me. "I'm not deaf, I could've heard you if you'd stayed up there, plus you get much better acoustics so the whole crowd can hear you." I said. She growled. "Ohh, scary!" I said. "Stop mocking me!" she shouted. "Listen sister, I spent a week inside a locked room pumped full of hallucinogenic mushrooms, acid and ecstasy, in an attempt to turn me against my frineds, if you think a large blue horse is going to scare me, you need to REALLY try hard." I said simply. She flew back up with a growl. "Don't you know who I am?" she asked. "Moe Greene?" I asked. "Oh oh more guessing games, ummm... Hokey Smokes! how about... Queen Meanie! no! Black Snooty, Black Snooty-" started Pinkie as AJ put an apple in her mouth. "Does my crown no longer count now that I've been imprisoned for a thousand years, did you not recall the legend? did you not see the signs?" she asked. "This sign says 'gtfo' hmm, how bout that? and not lowering the moon tends to have an affect on the legitimacy of your 'crown' which you don't even have on your head." I said sarcastically. "I'm sick of your japes and jives!" she said and pressed her face against mine menacingly as I jumped up to her balcony. "Great. minds. think. alike." I growled as I stared her down. "Hmm" she said, surveying me. "Try to read me all you want love, I've also practised the art of pissing people off/creeping them out by staring them down with a blank expression, if you think you can scare me in any way, go back to the moon, then again having you on it, I feel sorry for the moon, the last thousand years must've been torture having to look at your ugly muzzle for a thousand years, eugh." I said. She was about ready to explode. "I read the signs, I know who you are." said Twilight. We both shifted our heads to look at her. "I win" I smiled as she blinked, losing the staring contest. She just ignored me. "yYou're the mare in the moon... Nightmare Moon" she said as everypony gasped. "Really? you're all surprised? how dumb can you be? I mean, jeez!" I said as I jumped back down. "Well well well, we have someponies who know me." "I'm, not, a fucking... pony!" I murmured. "Well, you and somepony then, but you both know why I'm here." she said. "You're here, to... to..." she said and gulped. NM did a evil laugh. "What was that? that was a pathetic evil laugh, no, it's more like this: muhuhahahaha!" I said as my face darkened. "Remember this day little ponies, for it was your last, from this moment forth the night will last... forever!" she said and shouted it to the clouds, while lightning struck and she laughed again. "I've a few problems with that speech, 1. I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING FOUR LEGGED LONG NOSED CUDDLY FUCK MAGIC PONY THAT LIKES ALL THINGS MAGICAL AND BRIGHT!" a I yelled that I turned into my original form, with my marine gear. "What are you?" asked Nightmare Moon. "2. you can't remember something if it's your last day and you used 'was' in the wrong way as well 'for it will be' is the correct usage 3. work on the evil laugh, it just sounds... off... and was with that dramatic end to that speech? no, I mean seriously... it wasn't even needed, why the echo and thunder? seriously?" I asked Everypony was staring at me. "What?" I asked.