//------------------------------// // 31 - The // Story: Just Roll With It // by sunnypack //------------------------------// Chapter 31: The It took a long time to find Star Swirl. Yes, so I might have exaggerated my ability to find him, just like that, but I did have secret weapons. Mainly connections. Family connections. I’m not talking about my parents. Other beings of great and terrible power. “Okay, Celestia, Luna, the plan is to find Star Swirl and then let a slightly crazy mare have her way with him.” Clover levelled a glare at me. “That phrase sounds awfully suggestive to be saying in front of these foals.” “Am I wrong?” “Well, no, not fundamentally, but—” “Then it’s perfectly acceptable.” “What do you mean by ‘have her way with him’?” Luna asked. “Exactly what it sounds like, Luna,” I replied. Luna had a thoughtful expression on her face. “So when Star Swirl was telling Discord about ‘getting all the mares’, she meant— oh right, I wasn’t supposed to say that. Shhhh.” Luna suspiciously clamped her hooves over her muzzle. I stared at Discord with a healthy level of skepticism. Discord, who had been caught in the middle of making wild gestures moments ago, dropped his arms and sighed. “Well, Luna has this thing where she nags me about what I’m up to.” He rubbed a tired paw over his face. “I basically tell her everything she wants to know.” Clover giggled unexpectedly. She patted Luna of the head. “That’s the way to go. I need to learn how to do that from you!” “Do what?” I asked. “Get ponies to do what you tell them to. That’s a wonderful skill,” she replied, her eyes enviously regarding Luna. Luna jutted her chin, proud of the compliment the mage paid her. “Don’t encourage her,” I said, ignoring Luna’s pout. “But it’s mainly Discord’s fault this time.” Discord shook his head. “What? How?” I rolled my eyes. “Well, Discord, you and I are going to have a talk about acceptable information.” Discord sulked, crossing his arms. “Not fair, why does Luna get away with it?” “She’s younger than you.” “Yeah!” Luna added. “So she’s also not as smart.” “Hey!” “That’s what you get for interrupting me.” Luna huffed looking away. She looked upset until I picked her up, heavy as she was, and settled her on my shoulders. “Alright, see, happy?” Discord looked wounded. “You’re too heavy,” I pointed out. Discord huffed. “That’s not what I’m angry about.” Clover tapped a hoof impatiently. “Can we move on and find Star Swirl? I’m getting old waiting around.” She didn’t sound as annoyed as she looked, though. Still, it’s not like I knew where Star Swirl was. Celestia chose this moment to speak up. “I think I know where he is,” she chirped. I hugged her with a free hand. “Yes! You’re the best!” I said. “Where is he?” “Isn’t he in the kitchen? That’s where he normally hides,” Celestia replied. “The kitchen? Why would he be hiding there?” Celestia shrugged. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Something about ‘enough food’.” “Why doesn’t the cook throw him out?” I asked. Celestia shrugged again. “Oh well, this is the best lead we’ve got,” I muttered. “Let’s go.” ————— On the way to the kitchen, Discord tugged on my arm. “Huh?” “Uhh, Harmony? Aren’t they your friends?” Discord pointed a claw to the window. Out in the courtyard were three unicorns ranging around. My eyes widening, I instinctively flattened myself against the wall, though I had no reason to. They wouldn’t be able to see me through the window. “What the— What are they doing here?” I hissed. Discord peered around the corner, trying to gauge the situation without exposing me. “They look lost,” he remarked casually. He glanced back at me. “I don’t know why they’re here, though.” Clover cleared her throat and tapped her hoof impatiently. “Any year now,” she said testily. I nodded at her impatiently. “Alright, alright,” I snapped at her, then turned to Discord, lowering my voice. “We’ll deal with it later.” I didn’t know why Runner, Golden and Wavey decided to come to the castle, but it’s not like they would recognise me. I let out a sigh, what was I worried about? My reaction was silly. I had even seen them before in this form. Celestia bounded forward, noticing how worked up I was. “What are you acting all weird for?” she asked. Luna cocked her head, curious. “Nothing,” I said quickly. “Just a couple of ponies from my class.” I made a shooing gesture with my hands. “We need to find Star Swirl.” Celestia pursed her lips and pouted, not liking the answer I gave her. “Okaaaay,” she said, drawing out the word in an annoying tone. “But you’re going to tell us when we’re finished.” I looked at Celestia quizzically, but nodded anyway. When did Celestia get so bossy? “Alright, alright,” I mumbled, moving in the direction of the kitchen. ———— The kitchen was a frenetic place, even at the quietest of times. There was always something boiling, steaming or smoking, and the staff moved with an urgency of somepony with their tail on fire. In the middle of it all was the Head Chef, a figure of regal authority that ruled over her kitchen with a permanent scowl on her face. Most of the kitchen staff were deathly afraid of her, but only because she wielded the ladle she held in her claw with surprising force and accuracy. Oh, and did I mention she was a griffon? When Luna and Celestia approached, they beelined straight over to the Head Chef, grinning so hard it made me feel sore looking at them. Clover glanced around intensely, her scrutiny so acutely vehement that the kitchen hands, erm hooves, darted away or vigorously tended to their duties with a renewed passion. Looking at Clover’s emblazoned eyes, I felt sympathy for the castle staff. It was like a second Head Chef had appeared in pony form. “Miffy!” Luna squealed, practically vibrating with excitement. Melphus was her full name, but Luna got used to calling the venerated Chef by her nickname. Melphus didn’t mind, in fact her scowl melted away when she saw ecstatic Luna and an equally enthusiastic sister. Melphus always had a soft spot for foals. She said something about the adults getting rotten when they were left out too long. Melphus scooped Luna up, her wings shifting a little as she leaned back on the table and studied Luna. “Mmm,” she said, nodding with satisfaction. “You are growing up to be a good filly.” She gave Luna a gentle pat on her head and set her down, then inspected Celestia with the same critical eye. “Mmm, you’re missing something,” she said mischievously. At the words, Celestia’s ears perked and she trotted forward eagerly. “Maybe a little sweet for the sweet little ones,” she hummed, turning around. With astounding speed and alacrity, the griffon spun more than stepped towards a table laden with a few delicacies. She selected a couple of tiny pastries, which looked like they were composed of custard and brightly coloured berries. The Head Chef gave each one the treat, tapping each on their nose as Luna and Celestia reached out with eager hooves. “Not a word to your mother,” Melphus said confidentially. Luna and Celestia nodded vigorously, and then dug straight into the pastries. Melphus beamed in contentment, then folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at us. Her animosity was more directed to Clover rather than I, and I sensed an undercurrent of tension that crackled in the atmosphere. Clover had stopped scowling at the kitchen staff and merely stared back at Melphus. “Hmmph, you’re fine.” They both said at the same time. With a grudging nod of respect, they broke away, Melphus returning her attention to me and Clover searching the kitchen, with Melphus apparently letting her do as she pleases. It stunned me, because this was the first time I’ve seen Melphus allow anypony to do that. Discord waddled over. My hand shot out too late to pull him back, but I was too late. Dang, I completely forgot about Discord! “Uhh, excuse me?” he asked. I gasped. He hadn’t met Melphus before, and I hadn’t introduced him. Melphus glanced down in obvious surprise. I held my breath. Oh dear, would she react like most ponies did? Melphus’ brows drew down as she examined Discord with intense eyes. “You’re Discord?” she asked in a serious tone. Nuts, so she’s heard about Discord. I balled my fists, ready to interject at a moment’s notice. Discord hesitated, then nodded. With an explosive movement, Discord was lifted bodily into the air. “You’re so goofy! I love you!” Melphus danced around the kitchen while I gaped at the sudden change in demeanour from the imperious Head Chef. She set Discord down and whisked across the kitchen in lightning time. Melphus was the master of her own kitchen, and she moved with ease that could only be borne from years of familiar habit. While kitchen hands tended to move chaotically from one position to the other, Melphus almost looked like she was dancing a waltz, her movements through the space having an unspoken grace. “I must get some food into you!” she declared. The Chef picked up a savoury dish of hearty potatoes and seasoned herbs and spices. “Here,” she said, passing the dish into Discord’s claw. “Try this.” Discord paused a moment to appreciate the aromas before carefully taking the proffered spoon and placing a morsel of the dish into his mouth. “It’s amazing!” he cried, shovelling more down his gullet. Melphus nodded appreciatively. “A new recipe,” she proclaimed with a bombastic gesture. “A new masterpiece!” Discord beamed at me. “She’s nice.” I rolled my eyes. “She’s a bit crazy.” Melphus glared at me. “Excuse me, prince, but I will punish any that dare steals from my kitchen.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Keep your hands to yourself.” “It was small,” I shot back, crossing my arms. Discord frowned at me. “What did you do?” he asked, curious. I shrugged, giving him my most innocent looking expression. So of course, Luna filled him in. “Harmony stole from the kitchen,” she declared smugly. I spluttered, as Celestia added, “He stole a whole pie!” Celestia’s gaze drifted a little. “It tasted nice,” she added dreamily. “A piece of the pie! A piece! I was hungry and I forgot to stock something back at home—” “Thief,” Melphus hissed. “Excuses!” “A piece,” I continued with a grin. “Nothing to get worked up about.” Before Melphus could dive into another one of her speeches about integrity and pride, an ear-splitting crack and a scream that sounded dubiously like a mouse struck by lightning resounded around the room. “Gotcha!” I heard Clover exclaim. “You’re mine!” Encased in her telekinetic aura was a sullen mouse, that had literally sneaked into the pantry. Celestia grinned, pleased with her prediction. “I told you so,” she said with a smug expression. “Huh,” I said. “So he was in the kitchen. Nice work.” Clover huffed at me. “You could have been more helpful.” I pointed to Discord. “I protected you from the deadly wrath of the frightening monster that lives in the kitchen.” Melphus, who was tasting soup, spit out the mouthful. “Hey! Are you talking about me?!” she called out with narrowed eyes. Clover raised an eyebrow and frowned thoughtfully. “You’re right, I guess I owe you my life.” “Careful,” I warned, “she’s got sharp claws. And her mouth is as sharp as her claws.” Clover nodded. “With dangerous and unstable attributes like that, she could have trouble finding a partner.” I winced. Oops, Melphus was really touchy about being single. I turned to Melphus, eyeing her as a gazelle would a lion. Her cheeks went so red, I could see it through her feathers. In a way, that was impressive. I dashed to the door. “Out, out, out!” I yelled, ducking to avoid a pan. Clover teleported, blinding everypony in the room in the process. I would have copped the full of that flash if she wasn’t behind me. Usually, I hated teleports, but since it blinded everyone else for once, I was grateful for it. With a savage grin, I used the opportunity to duck through the door and slam it behind me. “HARMONY, THE NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK INTO THE KITCHEN I WILL END YOU!” Melphus screamed through the double-layer wood. Discord appeared in a flash, toting along Celestia and Luna. “Well, mission accomplished,” I said. Discord looked confused at my flippant remark, he glanced back at the door in consternation. I waved off his concern. “Don’t worry,” I said. “She said that the last time I stole a cake.” Discord frowned suspiciously. “Wasn’t it a pie?” I giggled impishly as I bit into a custard tart I had swiped on the way out. “That was last time,” I said, taking a bite.