We join with Deadpool, who's... ugh... know what? F**k it! Today was a horrible day at work, I got really s***ty presents this year, and I need to do something great! For this chapter, I'm going to Equetria! This chapter's through MY perspective, so it's going to be in first person and I don't give a single F**K!!! Let's just do this! ♫Blue Skidoo, we can too!♫
Everything went dark for me, but I could hear the chirping of birds around me. A cloud moved out of the way and I was greeted with sunlight hitting my eyes. I groggily opened my eyes, seeing that I was no longer in my home anymore, but an open field. I stood right up and took a step forward, but fell immediately. I opened my eyes to see that my hands were now gone, but now white hooves like that of a workhorse with my legs being a light brown. I looked behind to see my wings flapping instinctively, showing me my flank with it's silver heart cutie mark, back legs that matched with my front legs, and a small & black tail. I stood right up and stretched myself as any dog would, hearing small cracks across my new pony body. Normally, I'd freak out about being a pony, and truth be told, I kinda was, but since I've been to Equestria before, right after Deadpool kicked me out of my home as the 100th pony, I might as well use this as a means to have fun from working on my own birthday. I won't lie: walking as a pony feels weird, but you'll soon get the hang of it. Think of it as bear crawling when it was P.E. during Kindergarten, but only forever, and your back doesn't stick out, but sticks in, and your head & neck are mor on your back rather than sticking out as our human bodies are built. In fact, the way I was walking, I swear music played and... of buck it Living in the sunlight!!!
As I walked with the music behind me, several other ponies followed me, including... oh sweet Celestia! Twilight's next to me! Alright Kane, don't screw this up! I mean, it's her, you've meet each other, and you saved her life, so she's gotta-
"IT'S YOU!!!" A nuisance interrupted me, making me jump. Oh... right... him.
"Deadpool." I grumbled to myself "Of all the beings I want to meet here, it had to be you."
"Eeyup! So what choo here for? Trying to Get Twilight say hat she wants the D?"
"What!?" I blushed "No! Nothing like that?"
"Ooh! Want to get any other mares to ride your little-"
"NO!!! I came here to-"
"I knew it! You're Gay as f**k!!! Want Big Mac with a side order of Braeburn's-"
"HEY!!! STOP!!! THAT'S GAY!!!"
At that moment, a blue orb appeared right between Deadpool and I. Electricity sparked from it, causing my mane to rise from the electricity, but I watched as a two figures began to form: one kneeling while the other one was sitting in something.
"What is that!?" Twilight asked, taking a few steps back.
"... I think I know who it is!" I exclaimed. Finally! Some people who can control Deadpool! First was Cable, Deadpool's best friend and advisor from the future.
And in his floating wheelchair (also from the future) with the built in, smaller version of Cerebro was the man that looked WAY too similar to Patrick Stewart (And possibly sounded like him), Charles Xavier! 
I couldn't help it, but my wings opened with a 'pomf!', and I-
"Ew! Wingboner!!!" Deadpool yelled. I shook myself back in reality, blushed at what I did, and did my best to put my wings back in their folded position.
"Deadpool!" Cable yelled "There you are! We've been searching all over for you!"
"Cable! Mr. Handicap Man! Where have you both been!?"
"For the last time," Xavier said in annoyance with the same, awe inspiring voice of Stewart himself "I am Charles Xavier, better known as Professor Xavier or just Professor X."
"Yeah yeah, what~ever! Not my fault you don't have a healing factor like me, or else you'd do this!" Deadpool then began to do the Kazotsky Kick, very surprisingly, with the same music. It was a faster infestation than on the TF2 servers, as nearly everypony, minus Twilight and myself, danced along with Deadpool. We stood next to Xavier and Cable, who had confused looks on their faces as we had, watching the Russian madness. Cable gave look a confused look as Xavier looked at me with an intrigued look. (By my size and how he's sitting, we're nearly face to face, and it doesn't take a guy like him to know that I'm fanboying the f**k out). Deadpool finished his Russian dance, but didn't see the four of us having a confused look, but rather, seeing Cable ruffle Twilight's mane into what looked liked it's anime self, and Xavier patting my mane as if I were a dog. (Oh man! Not only was i being petted by the leader of the X-Men, but Patrick Stewart himself!!! Now I can tell me kids what happened, all because-)
"You made it to this land because you had to work on your birthday?" Xavier asked me. My eyes opened wide, my pupils shrunk, and I was frozen. He read my mind and he didn't notice!? "I know a lot of things that you don't know, Kane Aquino." Charles Xavier knows my name!!! "And I see you know mine as well." OH MAN!!! This is awesome, frightening, and weird all mixed together in one!!! Can you... scratch behind my right ear? "Sure thing."
"Oh yeah." I spoke in complete bliss as Xavier scratched behind my right ear.
"What about me!?" Deadpool asked.
"You've been away for a while and you nearly DOOMED Earth with your disappearance!!!" Cable shouted in anger.
"Really!? I always thought that with me around, I doomed earth multiple times."
"You're the necessary evil." Charles replied.
"So what you need me to do, Captain Picard?" I chuckled at his joke.
"Apocalypse is arriving soon, and while Wolverine can take him down-"
"Like in EVERY X-Men Movie!"
"... We need you to help us defeat him."
"Well it depends. Is it this Apocalypse?" He pulled out his phone to show us the different Apocalypses
"Or this one that looks like a mix between Ivan Ooze & Mr.Freeze?"
They both stared in confusion, but as for me, I saw what Deadpool meant, and I Laughed like Zim. They all stared at me laughing, causing me to wipe my tears away.
"Sorry," I said "That was TOO funny." At that moment, another portal opened above us.
"He's here!" Cable yelled, pulling his huge gun out. "Get out of here, Professor!"
"Yeah!" Deadpool added, pushing Xavier out of his own chair. "I need this!" Deadpool sat in the floating chair and began to fly in it.
"Wait!" Xavier pleaded "You can't leave me like this!"
"Don't worry professor." I said "I'll help you out." I carefully levitated the prof onto my back (really light, by the way), feeling him grab onto my mane, and I ran ahead, my wings flapping in instinct, though I never flew. Twilight ran next to me.
"Xavier?" Twilight asked "Who is this Apocalypse fellow and what can we do to stop him?"
"Apocalypse is an ancient mutant born with a variety of superhuman abilities, further augmented himself after merging with Celestial technology." I answered before Charles could. "He has total control over the molecules of his body, enabling him to alter his form as it suits him such as allowing his body to become extremely malleable and flexible or change its size, enhance his physical abilities, transform his limbs into weapons, wings, or jets, regenerate from fatal injuries, adapt his body to apparently any disease or hostile environment, and give himself virtually any physical superhuman power. He's also able to project and absorb energy, and has displayed telepathy and telekinesis. Apocalypse is also capable of technopathy, able to directly interface with the various technologies he has at his disposal. Thanks to the aid of his mutant abilities, special "regeneration" chambers and changing bodies, Apocalypse has made himself effectively immortal. Aside from his superhuman powers, Apocalypse is extraordinarily intelligent; a scientific genius with knowledge in various areas of science and technology including physics, engineering, genetics, and biology, all of which are more advanced than conventional science. Apocalypse has knowledge of Celestial technology that he uses for his own applications, such as altering mutants or humans. Apocalypse is also a skilled demagogue and a master strategist." We went inside Cheerilee's school, empty for it was a weekend, where Xavier and Twilight went silent. I carefully placed Xavier onto Cheereilee's desk, where he gave me a confused look.
"How do you know this stuff?" He asked
"That? Oh... uh... well... you see... I-"
"Show my your mind."
"WHAT!?"
"You have a special ability with you, and there's a lot going on through your brain. Please, allow me to enter; I will force my way if I have to." I sweated really hard, but, knowing this was Charles, maybe he would realize that he was from a comic book world, meant to portray civil rights in a way. I took a deep breath and allowed Xavier to enter my mind, in which it didn't feel like much, but then again, I never had anyone enter my brain before. The roof tore open above us, making Xavier stop and Twilight to hide underneath a desk. I looked up to see what was three silhouettes of something that looked human, but not really. The three figures charged at me, and I flinched, unsure if I was going to be hurt. Then, I heard sweet, innocent little girls giggling. I opened my eyes, feeling and seeing not just any little girls, but the Powerpuff girls!
"Whee!" Bubbles cheered "A pony!"
"Look at his glasses!" Blossom exclaimed, taking my glasses off and looking through them "He must be really smart!"
"Smart!?" Buttercup asked "Look at huge he is! He must be really tough!" I stood for a solid minute as the triplets did whatever they wanted to me that didn't result in pain.
"Uh... hello?" I spoke. They all gasped at me, flying away and regrouping.
"It can talk!?" They all asked in unison.
"...Yes, I can talk." They all gasped again
"LET'S KEEP HIM!!!" Bubbles exclaimed
"Hold on! What about my rights!? Is there any way you'll be fair about this!?"
"We got one!" Buttercup replied "A five second head start. Starting... NOW!!!" My wings flared and I flew away! I saw, right below, both Deadpool and Cable fighting against, luckily, the TRUE Apocalypse, but I knew what I had to do. If I'm guessing right, the CMC should be in their clubhouse right now. I turned to fly to Sweet Apple Acres, but I soon heard the famous zooming noise the PPGs made. Turning behind, I saw the streak of blue, pink, and green heading my way. Now, I knew it was now or never! I flapped my wings harder to get to the CMC's clubhouse! The PPG's were getting much closer... closer... closer... TOO CLOSE!!!
"PONY!!!" Bubbles yelled as she tackled me out of the sky! I fell to the floor, and everything was in slow motion, as I was only a few feet from the CMC's clubhouse. I struggled to get away from the little girl's grip, but her superhuman strength made it much more difficult. Buttercup and Blossom landed near me and helped Bubbles drag me away. Now, as like any cartoon would do, I bit into the floor below (delicious grass, by the way) and held on for dear life, using my front hooves to drag me forward, though I didn't go anywhere.
"Come... on!" Buttercup yelled
"I'm sure... the professor... wouldn't mind... you!" Blossom added.
"And you're adorable!" Bubbles finished. I held on for dear life, but then I remembered one thing: I'm an Alicorn! Duh! I concentrated my horn and, in a few seconds, I teleported myself away!
I awoke myself in an almost pitch black room, where I swear I heard water dripping. I tried to make out if there was any light around, but instead, I stumbled against a wall, feeling something that felt like statues, but squished with some liquid hitting my face. The door opened, and it looked like Fluttershy stood there.
"Oh thank Celestia." I said to myself. "Fluttershy! I'm so glad that-"
"Y'er in my shed." A weird, Fat Albert sounding voice said. I froze and slowly realized who was at the door. The lights turned on, and on the walls, were small woodland creatures skinned with their skeletons showing. The figure in front of me was Fluttershy, but it wasn't the one from the show, but it was HotDiggedyDemon's Fluttershy from the Pony.Mov series!
"Oh... this is... your shed? I'm sorry, I was...uh.... practicing... my teleportation... and... uh-" The sound of a chainsaw stopped me.
"What I tell ya'll about coming IN MY SHED!?!?!?"
"OH SHIT!!!" I yelled. She sung her chainsaw to decapitate me, but I quickly ducked, losing a bit of my mane. I then concentrated on my horn again and teleported outside. I turned to see the other FLutterhsy turn around, revved up her chainsaw again, and began to run after me! I screamed like a girl and ran as fast as my legs can carry me, looking like something out of a horror movie! I looked above me, seeing another portal opening. Out of the portal came the most gayest thing that caused me to stop and the Pony.Mov Fluttershy to stop: the Gay vampires & Werewolves from the awful Twilight books.
"I will always love you." Said the head gay vampire.
"I will love you too." Replied the plank of wood with no emotion, Kristen Stewart.
"That's my girl." The shaved Lama spoke.
"Oh god!" I yelled. "Bring in E-MO-TION!!!" I turned to the .Mov Fluttershy "Have fun killing them."
"Yer they in my shed?" she asked
"...Yeah. Plus, there's a lama with them!"
"COME HERE LITTLE ONES!!!" She jumped at them and started to slice them with her chainsaw! Blood spewed everywhere, but even then, they didn't scream at all, but sound bored while being massacred by a pegasus with a chainsaw! She stopped as only their skulls were left: Edward's having a lack of vampire teeth, Jacob for being a literal lama skull, and Kristen, who's skull didn't smile at all! Flutterhsy turned to me and, after a few moments of starring, revved up her chainsaw again. Run.
I ran all the way back to Ponyville, still being chased by the Pony.Mov Fluttershy, seeing the Cutie Mark Crusaders in front of me. The CMC were in their wagon as Scootaloo pulled it, and I jumped into the wagon.
"What in Tarnation!?" Applebloom yelled
"Get off our Wagon!" Sweetie Belle yelled, trying to push me off.
"Sorry girls," I said, my horn glowing and taking Scootaloo off her scooter. "But I gotta survive!" I jumped onto Scoot's scooter and began to make my escape.
"My Scooter!" Scootaloo yelled. She bit onto my tail and held on, causing the wagon to be pulled with me! I turned to see her biting onto my tail, but I was more concerned with the .Mov Fluttershy than these girls. Turning, I saw the PPG's ahead of me, crossing their arms with an impatient look. I freaked out and turned to the left, heading into an alleyway, seeing Deadpool & Cable fight Apocalypse in the distance. The sound of the PPG were right above me, and the sound of Fluttershy's chainsaw were right behind me, followed by her "STAY OUTTA MY SHED!!!". I freaked out, unsure what to do at all, until... I heard it. Bonnie Tyler's I need a hero.
"Enough talk," I said to myself "Time for action!" The music made me go faster than what I thought I could do, and everything around me turned slow. I headed straight towards the fight, taking the CMC off and throwing the wagon at Apocalypse! This stunned him, allowing Deadpool to jump and stab him the back multiple times!
"Staby! Staby!" Deadpool yelled.
"Wade!" Cable yelled "Together!"
"Got it!" Deadpool teleported next to Cable and pulled his Semi-Autos out as Cable charged his huge beam rifle. My Horn glowed as I stood next to the two, joining in their fight! Twilight appeared next to me with Charles Xavier in his floating wheel chair! Charles turned around and Controlled the mind of the Pony.Mov Fluttershy. The PPG flew right above us, not saying any words, but charged their eyes.
"FIRE!!!" I yelled! Together, in a barrage of lasers like Megaman's final smash, we annihilated Apocalypse! A portal opened right behind him, as Apocalypse dragged himself away.
"This... is not over." He said as he entered the portal.
I was going to cheer, but stopped as I saw the PPG landing near me, giving me a death glare. Without looking away, I levitated the CMC in front of me. Immediately (and very lucky), the PPG's dawed at the CMC, Blossom holding Applebloom, Bubbles with Sweetie Belle, and Buttercup with Scootaloo. I turned to see the .Mov Fluttershy, breathing like a maniac and still holding her chains saw. She revved it up, but nothing happened.
"...DAMMIT!!!" She yelled "I'm outta fuel! I'll get you next time! Stay outta my shed!" And she ran away. I took a deep breath, feeling much better now, only to be hit with the skulls of Kristen Stewart, Edward, and the Lama. Xavier floated over to me.
"Now," he said "about your mind."
"Go ahead." I simply said. The best way to describe having Xavier in your mind and walking your mind is similar to the Celestia Ballad, but with some Inside-Out mixed as in what you're into, no little people though. And I must say, walking next to Xavier inside your mind is something you HAVE to do before you die! Not a lot was said, but let's just say he knows all things there is to know about me, both good and bad. Exiting is weird, but harmless; it's like waking up from a sleep, though you still remember your dream very well.
"You really are special."
"Uh... sir?" Twilight asked. I turned to see Twilight.
"Yeah?" I replied
"I was just wondering... well... what happened... and where you found that... other Fluttershy."
"It's a weird and long story."
"I see." We both stared at each other for a few seconds, then slowly extended our necks to each other. We stopped as we heard some snapping. Turning, we saw Deadpool, Cable, and the Taco squad together dressed up as if they were from the 50's. Then, as I remembered from How I Meet Your Mother, they began to perform "For the Longest time". We looked at each other, closed our eyes, leaned in... and kissed. In my head, I could see the two of us together dancing to the song the Taco squad were singing in the dance scene from Back to the Future, perhaps with Marty McFly in there as well. As soon as they stopped, we released each other from our kiss.
"That... was perfect."
"That was my first kiss ever."
"Same thing here. Y'know, this sounds crazy, but I may not be from this world, but I wanna be with you as long as I live."
"We're Alicorns, silly. We're never gonna age as fast as everypony else."
"Yeah, and... Twilight?"
"Yes?"
"I... You... I don't know what to say, but-" the sound of a chainsaw revving up stopped me.
"I FOUND FUEL!!! STAY OUTTA MY SHED!!!" Oh great.
"I gotta go!" I ran away to what was a painting of my living room sitting on the floor. I looked back, seeing a Sad Twilight, but she jumped back as she saw the Pony.Mov Fluttershy running at me, swinging her chainsaw around! "♫Blue Skeedo, We can too!♫" And, just like Blue's Clues, I was back home. Well... it was fun, but-OH SHIT! WORK!!!
Hey! How come he gets to swear!?
He's real and we're not.
Wait... so we aren't real at all?
Yep.
We're a figment of one's imagination?
Yeah
And there's nothing we can do about it?
That's the point.
Wha-What are we gonna do!?
... wanna sing Queen?
Oh S**T! Let's do it! And mix it up with Daft Punk!
What!? You can't-
Hit it!!!
