“You did this to me.” A deep, garbled voice says. The voice sounds like it’s in a permanent death rattle.
My eyes open. I see a pony standing in front of me. I remember his face. I’ll never be able to forget it for my life. I’ll never be able to forget his look of fear. I’ll never be able to forget the taste of blood.
“You did this.” Taş Ihanet says. My eyes drift to his neck. It’s open and completely exposes his throat. There isn’t a single drop of blood, leaving me a perfect view of his trachea that's been ripped to shreds by teeth.
“I’m sorry!” I shout at what should remain a corpse. “Leave me alone!”
“You did this.”
“Please forgive me!”
“You will suffer.”
“I’ve been suffering since I left!”
Ihanet steps closer. His eye color changes to gold. “Your death will be just as painful as mine.”
His mouth opens. I try to close my eyes. They lock themselves open. I stare into his mouth as it approaches me. His teeth are sharp as daggers. Just like mine. I can't identify the speed. It seems to switch from the speed of sound to the speed of a snail every quarter second. His mouth is close enough that I can smell his breath.
The image dissipates quickly. Luna is standing in front of me. Her face has a mixture of horror and fear. I breathe heavily. I’ve been having that same dream every night for three months now. Unfortunately, Luna hasn’t rescued me from it each time. Having to see myself being eaten alive and having to feel each and every second is terrifying, to say the least.
“Th-Thank you, Luna…”
She walks up to me and nuzzles my neck. “I can’t save you every time, Changeling. I can’t be the only pony to assist you.”
"I-I thought you were the only p-pony that could enter dreams?"
"I am, Changeling. I know there must be somepony to help you with your nightmares, outside of the dreams." She sighs. "I know why you're having this nightmare so often. Your time in Saddle Arabia must have been... traumatizing." I look down and don't say a word. I don't need to for her to know my answer. "Please speak to me once you're awake." Her horn lights up and my vision fades to black.
I pull my head from the soft pillow. I’m still getting used to the soft bed I’ve been sleeping in every day for the past three months. It's hard to get used to, but I prefer it this way.
Most ponies would disagree with me when I say that I don't care for the soft bed. I've told Princess Celestia a few times, but nothing's ever changed. I'm willing to bet that she's being passive aggressive towards me. The two of us never get along. We probably won't. I'm fine with that.
I crawl out of my bed and onto my hooves. My eyelids feel like lead. I hate waking up just as much as I do going to sleep. I think it's part of the reason why I've been closer to Princess Luna than to her sister. I've barely spoken to Celestia since I've returned from Saddle Arabia. The conversations have been so brief I can't remember half of them. The other half I barely remember.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
I almost step out of my room without using the form of another pony. I use the form I have been for the past month, a white unicorn with a black mane. She's a creation of my own mind. I haven't met any other changeling with that capability. I only use the unicorn for two reasons. To talk and so ponies won't try to kill me whenever I'm outside my room. I don't blame them for being mad at me. It's only been three months since the wedding.
I walk out of my room. So much in my life has changed since the wedding. I think it's for the better, honestly. I've stopped having to fight. What's probably the best thing the ponies have done to me is making me a wartime strategist.
My shift from soldier and one-time assassin to wartime strategist is my rebirth, in a way. I've compared it to my past life, with the other changelings, many times. This new life is quieter. There isn't nearly as much to do and I'm often bored. I'd rather be bored than risking my life attacking a country that doesn't even deserve it.
My former queen, Chrysalis, returns to my mind. Before my rebirth, I wanted to know whether she was dead or still alive. Now, I don't care. I don't mean that to be sociopathic or psychopathic. I have emotions and a conscience. I just don't care about Chrysalis anymore. If I found her alive, my emotional state wouldn't change. The same thing goes for if I found her dead.
I push her from my mind and continue to walk. Am I even going the right way? All the hallways in the castle look the same, except for the stained glass windows. I don't know why Princess Luna thought it would be a good idea to have a room in a hallway that didn't have any windows. It's a good thing that Luna's is at the end of the hallway.
Once I arrive at her door, I knock on it. It surrounds itself in purple aura and opens, exposing Luna's room to the hallway. "Please, enter." Luna's voice calls from somewhere inside. I enter her room. My eyes adjust to the dark quickly. Luna lies on her bed, looking directly at me. "Good morning, Changeling."
"Morning." I reply. "Why did you want to see me?"
"It's about your chronic nightmares." She says with a sigh. Luna steps out of bed. "The cause, specifically. You know I have a similar problem, correct?"
"Post-traumatic stress disorder. I know." I reply.
"I wish I could help you with yours more than I have been, but..." She interrupts herself with a sigh, "ours are just too different for me to help you the way you need it." Princess Luna says to me. Her voice is soft and motherly, like how I've been told her sister usually speaks. Celestia has never used that tone with me. "I will make an attempt to hire a therapist for you. I know the ponies still don't like to see changelings..."
I sigh and nod. I understand what Luna's saying. My type of PTSD and hers are far too different to get first-hoof help. The ponies of Canterlot still hate my species for what we did. I stand with them, but they refuse to stand with me. I've gotten used to it after almost a month. I doubt I'll ever see an end to it.
Luna turns to look out the window into the night sky. The moon reflects off her mane and fur, casting off a beautiful dark violet. "There's another reason why I can't help you."
"What is it?" I sit down in front of her. I've got a bad feeling that I'll need to sit down soon.
She looks at me through strained eyes. Luna says. “As much as I hate to say this, you’re the only pony that can help us with this."
"What do you mean?"
"I was recently given terrible news. I understand you aren’t officially a soldier anymore, Changeling..." She trails off.
I blink. Her implications hit me like a freight train. "No. No. Don't do that to me..."
"Please, just listen to me." Her voice is strained. She's forcing herself to tell me the news.
"I already know what you want me to do." I say before she can continue. "You want me to go back to Saddle Arabia. Is it Toma Jabhir? Is he still alive?"
She shakes her head. I feel an invisible weight fall off my back. I didn't even know it was there. "No. Jabhir is dead." Luna corrects my thoughts. "A platoon was dispatched to an area near Vanhoover last month. They were supposed to return here two weeks ago.”
I know where Vanhoover is. It’s to the northwest, on the coast of an ocean. I haven’t seen the ocean since I was just a larva. I assume it’s going to be like how the pictures show it. A shit ton of water next to a shit ton of sand. I don’t exactly see what the appeal of it is. I've seen enough sand in Saddle Arabia alone to last three lifetimes. The planet's 70 percent water, and water's not very different from place to place. “You want me to go there and bring them back? That sounds easy. What are their names?"
"The platoon has three primary commanders that we know are still alive. Rolling Thunder, a pegasus, Desert Storm, an earth pony, and Azorian, a unicorn." Luna says. I shudder. The last time I was with a member of each pony race, it ended horribly for them. The same could be said for me. "There are other ponies in the platoon. If they're still alive, they'll be with their commanders."
"Why can’t you send another group to get them?”
“Our relationships with a pony in the area, who calls herself Tranquus, are… tense to say the least.”
“So either send somepony that's actually stealthy or possibly go to war. Yeah, I see where you’re coming from, Luna.” Something else Luna said interests me more. “What about that Tranquus mare? What do you know about her?”
“Our information on her is limited." Luna replies. That's a very professional way of saying 'we don't know a damn thing.' "The information we have about her implies she’s a terrorist.”
“What kind of terrorist? Biological? Bombings?”
“Neither. Technically, she isn’t a terrorist. To repeat myself, our information only implies she’s a terrorist. She isn’t responsible for any known deaths. She hasn’t made any threats to Canterlot or anything, but if you see her, be careful around her.”
“Noted. What does her name mean?”
Luna shrugs. “I don’t know exactly. It’s something in a foreign language that I’m not familiar with. I believe it means ‘calm’ or something similar.”
A terrorist with a name like that... Either Luna's information about Tranquus, whether it's the name's meaning or her occupation, is wrong, or Tranquus' parents had a sick sense of humor. "Alright. I'll go."
"Would you like training?"
I probably should. I haven't been in a physical fight for three months. The only fight I've been in since then is a few verbal fights with that jackass Blueblood. I'm a bit out of shape. I'm sure I'll be fine. "No thanks, Luna."
"If you say so. we'll send you off to Vanhoover when my sister raises the sun to its peak."
The next few hours go by slowly. Luna approaches me with a piece of paper in her magic. "Before you're sent off, this is required. It's the last known location of the lost soldiers." She looks at it again. A look of disapproval appears on her face. "It's also the location of Tranquus' business..." She sighs. "I'll send you a slight distance from the building so we can send a message to Tranquus. You'll act as a political representative looking to assist her."
I take the form of a dark blue pegasus mare. Her cutie mark is a gray cloud. The cloud's color is nearly exactly the same as her coat, so I can barely see the cutie mark. "That's not a problem to me. If I have to take her out, I will." The paper and a set of saddlebags float towards me. Luna places the saddlebags on me and the paper inside.
Luna smiles. "I appreciate your bravery, Changeling. Are you ready to go?"
"I've been ready all day." Luna's horn lights up. It covers me, and my vision fades to black.