"It smells like a subway tunnel. The whole EMPIRE smells like a subway tunnel," Dan grumbled, leading the group through the market street. "AND I HATE SUBWAY TUNNELS!!" The trio stopped momentarily as Dan's voice echoed into the darkness.
The echo faded in moments. Dan's anger did not.
"GRRRRRRRGNGNGNGNGNGNNNNNNRRRRRR!" He fumed in the center of the street. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" He then ran to the nearest streetlight, climbed it and began tearing it to pieces in rage. The security camera wired to the pole fell off and smashed to pieces on the ground. After a few moments of property destruction, Dan jumped back down to street level.
Neither Phoenix nor Spike said anything about his aggressive display. The guy just needed to vent. They continued walking on.
Spike was the only one among them who had any real experience with the Crystal Empire. He couldn't help noticing things he'd seen before, shops, buildings, kiosks, all of them corrupted into a steely substance of some kind. Being a dragon, the Crystal Empire whetted his appetite before with the promise of rare and delicious gems. Not the buildings, of course; there were some jewels good for eating but the semi-translucent construction ones were actually inedible and kind of plastic-y, like they were made specifically to be models for a play set of some kind or toy.
Seeing the Empire this way, though made him lose his appetite. But he had to get through it for Twilight and the others.
"The Empire isn't supposed to smell… or look anything like this," the dragon commented.
"We're going to fix it, Spike," Phoenix patted him on the shoulder. "We're going to fix all of it and get Twilight, Chrys and Fluffle Puff back."
Spike's gaze dropped low. "I hope so…"
"Oh, we're gonna fix it," Dan added, steadfastly fixated on the road ahead of them. "And then I'm gonna fix Vice Grip. First I'll fix his mouth, stop all that crap from leaking out of it. Then I'll add another hole to his head and THEN I'm gonna fix his nervous system with some jumper cables and a-"
"Dan," Phoenix stopped him. "Let's focus on fixing one thing at a time, okay?"
Dan thought a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, you're right. First thing's first," he took a deep breath and marched on.
The buildings grew smaller as they neared the outskirts of the market place, kiosks and booths became more frequent. As with the ones behind them, they were all vacant, bare of shelves and empty. It began to look like an abandoned carnival waiting somewhere in limbo between closed down and open.
The silhouettes of a few Magic Gears appeared in the distance, walking perpendicular to Dan's path. Based on their path, Dan knew they were patrolling the perimeter of the Empire, just like he had at the Golden Oakes Library back home. But he also noticed they stopped, sometimes play-fought with each other or played with things they found interesting along their route. Like children. Why would Vice build an army of children?
"Those things better not try to play with their Sword Spells," Dan remarked.
"They're actually… kind of cute," Phoenix remarked. "For giant pony robots, I mean. It's like they're innocents in all of this, just the tools of some radical extremist."
"He's planning on nuking Earth with those innocents," Dan reminded him. "So regardless of how cute they are, we're gonna have to break 'em. One at a time if we have to but they're gonna be scrap."
"We don't even know how he's planning on attacking Earth," Phoenix said. "He apparently needs you to do it for some reason, or at least Chrys transformed into you. But that doesn't explain how he's going to do it. With all the Magic Gears here, he's going to have to get them to Earth or find a way so that they can attack Earth from the Crystal Empire."
"There's lots of different ways to get to Earth," Spike said. "If it's just one pony or one human. Easiest way is to use a summoning spell, a link between both worlds that magic creates a bridge through. But to get an entire army would take a lot of magic, a lot of different connections all at the same time. I'm not sure it could be even done with robots."
Phoenix scratched his chin. "It looks like Vice has found a way. Maybe he thinks you're the link between Equestria and Earth."
"Except I'M here," Dan said. "And I'm not planning on helping him nuke something in the microwave, much less a whole planet. Even with Chrys turned into me, she still won't be able to help him from here."
"He said he needed three days for something," Nick commented.
"And we've got three days to stop him," Dan said. "Let's keep it moving."
Not long after he said that, they arrived at the entrance to the market district. A large banner that normally welcomed travelers to the Crystal Empire lay half-torn off one of its posts, lying across the road. Whether it happened over time or not, they didn't know.
In the center of the market place and dominating the view was something that looked out-of-place even amongst the incredibly out-of-place: a cardboard box.
"So… is this what we were supposed to come see?" Spike asked, approaching the box. They all stepped up onto the platform the box was on, examining it.
Phoenix looked over his shoulder, back to the palace in the distance. "If this was a delivery, I think they're a bit far from the front door."
"Maybe they didn't hear the DOORBELL RING AS THEY WERE BUSY OPPRESSING AN ENTIRE COUNTRY!!" Dan yelled in the direction of the palace. He turned back to the box with a devious smile. "Well, I guess we'd better sign for this." He grabbed the box on the side.
"Who's that? Who's there?" a muffled voice asked.
"Oh boy."
Eyes wide, Phoenix and Spike turned to each other. "He's in the box!"
"You won't get any more out of me! I will not be bullied!"
"Hold that thought!" Dan announced. He was already back in the road, stretching.
"Dan, what are you doing?"
"Gonna get jack outta the box, stand back, Nicky."
"We could probably just-"
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Dan charged headlong at the side of the cardboard box. Phoenix and Spike casually stepped aside to let him on through.
Dan crashed through the side of the cardboard sell, smashing a Dan-sized hole in the box and collapsing on the floor inside.
"Good job, Dan," Spike patted the still-facedown human on the shoulder. "You sure know how to break down barriers."
Still facedown, Dan gave the dragon a thumbs-up before he and Phoenix pulled him off the floor.
"Who… who are you?" the voice asked.
"We're your court appointed attorneys," Dan said, standing. "And you must be…"
A figure stepped into the light.
"King…"
"…Som..."
"………...bra."
None of them had ever seen King Sombra, not up close, anyway. If there had been any expectations of what he'd be, they were shattered the instant the dark pony entered the light.
"I am King Sombra," he stepped towards them, a darkly unicorn with a curved horn. "And thissssss land iss my kingdom. What are you doing in the Cryssssssstal Empire?"
"Um… hi King Sombra," Spike waved from behind Dan.
"Yeah, hi," Phoenix added, also just slightly behind Dan.
"We're here to represent you in court, Sombo," Dan said triumphantly.
"Ah," the king turned away, contemplating. "Yesssssssss… that businesssssss."
"You, um, look a bit different… uh, your King Sombra-ness… I guess…" Spike said clumsily.
The shadow unicorn averted their gaze again. "It's Sam now, actually. A lot has changed, actually."
"Yeah, you… don't exactly look all that shadowy. Or evil," Dan remarked. Phoenix and Spike turned glares to him. "What? I was TOLD to expect certain things." Originally, King Sombra had been a jet-black unicorn with an ethereal mane and aura similar to that of Celestia or Luna, albeit one far more sinister. They'd all seen pictures of the villainous King Sombra, the unicorn who conquered the Crystal Empire and attempted to rule with an iron hoof and dark magic.
But the pony before them did not match that description. King Sombra was now a shade of dark blue rather than black, his curved horn now a shiny bronze-gold rather than pale gray. His eyes were softer as was his garb, though it looked as though it hadn't been cleaned in weeks.
"I was once a shadow-tyrant of this land. But… I've renounced my ways, done my best to reform. After I was defeated by Prince Armor and Princess Cadence, they showed me mercy. A guard named Flash Sentry found me on the outskirts of the Empire and he took me to the palace. They cared for me, nursed me back to health. I've been living there ever since," Sombra explained.
"Ah, reformed bad guy," Dan summarized. "That explains it. We get a lot of that."
The unicorn raised an eyebrow.
"What he means is," Phoenix stepped forward, "we have some experience in advocating for… ponies in positions similar as yours. And we would like to help you clear up any legal complications."
"But I'm guilty."
"I-uhll-ulllgg," Phoenix felt his tongue suddenly gag him. "You're… excuse me, you're… you're what?"
"I'm guilty, of what I was accused of, at least," Sombra said.
"Oh… that's what I thought you said," Phoenix felt his stomach knot. (Crap crap crap crap crap crap CRAP! Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?! With EVERY CASE why is it always so complicated? They say this place is cursed? No, I am! WHERE'S PINKIE PIE WHEN YOU NEED HER?!!)
"The new regent made it a law that no pony could strike against the Crystal Heart, no matter how corrupt the sacred jewel has become. But I attempted to destroy it, to stop him from turning it into a horrible weapon. So did the prince and princess but… we failed," Sombra explained.
"Hmmm," Dan rubbed his chin. "They didn't tell us what you were accused of. And even if you think you're guilty, you might not be."
"I'm not sure how," Sombra said, looking down. "But how are the others? What's happened to Prince Armor and Princess Cadence?" He approached them, suddenly very concerned. "And Flash Sentry? Please, tell me he's all right!"
"Uh-um, we don't know," Dan said, having to step back as the unicorn pleaded on him.
"We think Shining and Cadence are okay," Spike said. "They're imprisoned in the palace but they seemed to be doing all right."
"And Flash? What's happened to Flash?" Sombra pleaded with Spike.
"Uh, I'm not sure. We didn't see him," Spike said, backing away.
"Oh, I do hope he's all right," Sombra turned around, starting to pace. "He's so sensitive, I don't think I could bare it if he were hurt…" He rubbed a bracelet of some kind wrapped around his right foreleg, what looked to be a hoof-made piece of jewelry of some sort.
"I, uh," Phoenix rubbed the back of his neck. "We'll have to check on him as soon as we can."
"Oh, oh yes, thank you," Sombra spun around and shook the human's hand. "Thank you so much, he's been- and they've been so helpful to me over the passst weeks, I just don't know what I'd do without them."
Phoenix, now being nearly hugged by an overly-affectionate Sombra looked over to Spike. "He seems uh, he seems pretty attached to Twilight's family… and Flash Sentry, doesn't he?"
Spike scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yeah… looks like it."
Dan looked at all three of them individually then turned to Sombra and asked, "Is he your boyfriend or something?"
The Crystal Empire became silent again for that brief moment. Everything seemed to stop as wide eyes contemplated the question hanging in the air. It was like Equestria had stood still.
Sombra turned to Dan. "Yes, he is," he rubbed the bracelet attached to his foreleg again. "We were actually disssssssscussing… something more than that when Vice took over. We encountered a few legal issues regarding it before but we were working around those before all this happened."
"Gay marriage?" Dan asked, another point-blank question cutting through any subtlety in front of it.
Sombra nodded. "We were trying to write some new lawssssssss regarding marriage when Vice Grip imprisoned every pony. We were trying to reform a lot of laws; it's been a thousand years and the legal system is very outdated. We needed new trade agreements and regulations for businesses, services and even the new kindssssssssss of music being produced. But Vice booted usssssss out, declared himself regent and passed everything himself. He took all the credit, too."
"That son of a bitch!" Dan exclaimed. "He LIED to us right in my own LIVING ROOM!" He stomped off, hopping off the platform and into the street again. "Okay, new plan: I'm gonna kill Vice Grip. I dunno how but I'm gonna kill him and I'm gonna kill him in ways he didn't THINK he could be killed. FUN ways. Probably involving forks. I'm in a fork mood right now."
"Dan-"
"No, no no no no. You're going to defend Sammy-boy here, then you'll defend me. Heck, if all they do is put me in a cardboard box for killing Vice Grip then you can call me Solid Freakin' Snake," Dan declared. "Because Ima 'bout to give him some phantom pain like he will not believe. You got my codec number anyway."
"Dan-" Phoenix said again. (I feel like I should be holding a leash right now. Is this just going to be a constant thing? I'm betting on yes.)
"You can't defeat him," Sombra said. "He's too strong, essssssspecially now. And if you defeat him without removing his power, that other thing will take his placcccce. And things will be far worse."
Dan turned around. "What other thing?"
Sombra stepped forward. "The hooded creature with him. It's been a long time since Equestria has seen one; outside of legends, I've only witnessssssssed one once."
"What are you talking about?" Phoenix asked. "You mean the Director?"
"But… he's the one who told us to find you…" Spike said.
King sombra approached all three of them. "You must lisssssssssten to me, very carefully. You must not trust that creature, no matter what it tellssss you."
"Why?" Dan asked. "It's a creepy pony in a sheet. I don't get why-"
"It is not a pony," Sombra said. "Let me explain to you," his horn began to glow as images took shape around them. "Equestria, unlike Earth, has many different sentient species. They require great abundance of food, land and other resources. In the past, there has rarely been a time where food was not scarce. Because of this, many creatures have evolved to feed on the abundance of emotional energy through magic, gaining nutrients by siphoning it from magic itself. And sometimes… through other creatures."
The shape of Equestria appeared before them. Around it, images of other creatures- ponies, zebras, griffons, sea ponies, buffalo and others still hovered in midair.
"Creatures like changelings learned to feed on love. Windegos evolved to feed on anger and conflict. But the most dangerous of all these creatures… learned to feed on fear." The images swirled together, taking the shape of hood. "There are monsters in this world, so terrible in nature and horrific in design that they have no true form and so shift, forever in between those they have seen. They are not changelings for they make no effort to hide who or what they are- we call them the Faceless Ones."
Two eyes and a mouth appeared in the center of the hood.
"There's never been more than one that has plagued us at any given time. But they feed on fear, taking the forms of loved ones and attacking innocents with dreadful magic and horrific spells. They grow powerful from fear, making entire societies quake with dread," Sombra explained.
"I knew it!" Dan proclaimed, "I knew there was a reason Gary Busey was in this story!"
"Actually, that's Gary Busey over there," Sombra pointed behind them.
"Hi," Gary Busey waved. "And actually, I'm just here to play a round of golf before they start chargin' for the course again. This is actually a pretty important scene, you probably shouldn't be bothering with me right now."
"Ah," Dan nodded. "Okay."
"Later guys. If you happen to see a stepladder lyin' around, it's my stepladder and I want it back," Gary waved again, walking back into the mist to the Crystal Country Club Golf Course.
"You must not trust this creature," Sombra warned. "It wants only to cause disssssssssaster and fear."
"Well, it got us to free you," Dan said. "You wanna go back in the cage?"
Sombra weighed his options. "I wish to see Flash Sentry. Take me to him."