//------------------------------// // For a crazy adventure you need crazy heros. // Story: Pirates tail... // by Gundamdragon //------------------------------// Discord was shocked. He was actually enjoying having tea with Tia, Luna, Twilight, Candence and the rest of Twilight's friends, and they even let Spike join in. Then the goat skeleton appeared, turning Spike, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie to stone. Then kidnapped the Alicorns... leaving him alone. "That was rude, he could have at least blasted me with magic! But no I was ignored, just for that I would stop him, but he turned Fluttershy my best friend to stone! I will so make him pay!" Said Discord vowing revenge. He was about to snap his fingers win something stoped him. "Oh right cosmic laws ban me from taking direct heroic action... fue. I know I will find some insanely brave crazy and over the top heroes to do it for me! But they will need ponies to guide them in this world....hmmm who should that be. I got it!" He snapped his fingers dropping Vinyl Scratch and Trixie Lulamoon in to Luna and Celestia's seats respectively. "Who teleports the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie was dripping with soap and water. "Uncool dude, I was practicing for my..... is that Pinkie?" Vinyl started to complain but stopped, seeing her biggest customer a stone statue with her face buried in a cake. "Yes to the second question, I am Discrod, Spirit of Chaos. We were all having a nice tea party, Luna even laughed at one of my jokes. Should have known that was a bad sign. But some undead goat rose from the ground foalnapped the Alicorns and turned everypony and dragon to stone but ignored me. I was so shocked I didn't think to act until he was gone so I'm going to use my powers to bring forth heros to stop him and save the Alicorns and free our friends here. But they will need help to understand and find their way in our world, so I picked you two to guild them." Explained Discord. "O-k...." Said Vinyl. "Of course with The Elements down you turn to The Great and Powerful Trixie to guide these heros you will conjure to their goal!" Said Trixie her ego soaking up the fact she gets to save Equestria. "Great. Now stand back!" Said Discord as he struck several random silly poses before snapping his paw, claw and tail all at once then there was a large, bright flash of light and blue smoke that smelled like mustard. ====================================== Nathan was in a bad mood. He lost the Pandora and his crew scattered again.. though this time he did not lose it from gambling. No, that he could deal with, but this time while he and his crew where drinking and celebrating with the Decarlow brothers after a joint heist went off perfectly. Some jerk had called the cops cause they celebrated too loud and woke them up. With every one drunk or buzzed they just scattered. Now, Nathan was nursing a hangover while flying his devastator over Chicago in the middle of a storm. "Damn it, where'd those cops tow it. Maybe Kon could tell me." He grumbled to him self as he passed a tower still being rebuilt after the Dispina attack two years ago. All of a sudden the wind picked up and several bolts of lighting struck his plane. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the world spinning as his plane was sucked in to the sky. =============================== Jack was not happy. Why was Jack unhappy? Several reasons. One, the Black Pearl was still in a bottle, two, he was out of rum, and three, he was again cast adrift in a row boat... and did I mention the sharks. "Well it can't get much worse." Said Jack as he rowed. Then he saw a bolt of lighting strike the water before a water spout formed and started to move towards him. "Why did I have to say that?" He asked him self as the sudden water devil over took him. ==================================== Don Karnage the scourge of the sky was moping. His latest plan was again foiled by Baloo. He sat in his CT-37 tri-wing sea plane the prop caked in bubble gum it's engine blown and smoking. He was tired of the fat pilot foiling his plans... "Every time we cross paths he ruins every thing! I wish just one of my pilots were half as resourceful as him..." he vented. He then blinked and snapped his fingers. "Why didn't I think of that sooner. He is a skilled pilot and has a fast, strong sea plane. Maybe if I offer him a good signing bounce, and slightly bigger cut then the others I could hire him as a flight leader. We always worked well together when we are forced to... another option would be to go straight... Or maybe I should find new hunting grounds." As he was weighing his options he didn't notice the whirlpool form in front of him as he drifted waiting for pick up. When he did finally see it he just sighs. "This would be my luck, Yes, No?" He asked to sky right before he was sucked down. ============================== "Luffy!" Shouted the crew of the Sunny Lion as thier Captian fell into the water. They had no chance to mount a rescue as the marine ship rammed them again, this time with troops jumping on board. Luffy was sinking with a smile on his face. He found it, he had claimed the one piece and now had the title King of the pirates now the navy had caught up and he could do nothing in the sea. "At least I die as king of the pirates. Sorry." he thought as he started to black out. But just before everything went dark he saw a light. =============================== The sea was angry that day, and Kenway never seen waves climb that high. He was fighting a man-o-war when the storm blew in right after they boarded her, the waves where so high now that they dwarfed the man-o-war then some one cried out. "Rogue wave at starboard!" everyone turned to see a wall of water rushing towards them. He started to run for the helm. "Turn the ships!",he shouted but it was to late the wave hit the man-o-war dead on broadside. Snapping the ship in two and breaking the boarding lines, which saved the Jackdaw. But hundreds of men were dragged to their graves, and Edward Kenway had seemed to be one of them. ============================== As the smoke cleared two strange machines,each having one occupant and three soaking wet humans lieing on the ground appeared. The fourth began coughing up water as the fifth moaned. The first to speak was the one in the white machine with black checker accents and a rose trim." Did anyone get the license plate number of that truck?" he said to noone in paticular. The red wolf creature in the other machine coughed and answered, "I will let you know when, world stops spinning. Yes, No?" Before he tumbled out of his plane and fell to his rear. The human in a straw hat, red vest,and blue shorts coughed and said, "Thank you for pulling me out of the water, I thought I had died. Say, anyone have some food?" The one in all black was the first to look aroud after clearing his lungs "Bolaxe." he said, after seeing two unicorns and some sort of serpent. "Given I haven't had a drop of rum in three days, and I can't see Will Turner I must insist, that before whatever insanity is about to occur, that I be provided with at least three bottles of rum. I refuse to deal with this sober, if there is to be unicorns involved!"said Captain Sparrow. Don Karnage looked at the scene around. He never seen people like the three on the ground or the one in what he had to admit was a vary nice pusher prop bi-plane. But upon seeing the unicorns and floating snake thing that was now laughing, he decided he is with the one in black. "The Great Don Karnage the Scurvy of the skies, agrees with the one dressed in black. He too will need some strong alcoholic beverages to deal with Unicorns and flying snake thing. Also some food sounds good as well." Luffy sits up and looks at Trixie and Vinyl and gets starry eyed. "Oh this is so cool, real Unicorns!" He said before jumping to his feet and running at them causing both to yelp and run, allowing him to give chase around the room. Nathan sat in his plane starring in shock at the seen. As Kenway stood up his back to the sights the others saw by pure chance, he pulled his hood down as he turned and started to speak. "You lads sound like you need to cut back on the rum if... you're...... seeing....." when he turned around his sentence died in his throat at what he was seeing. Discord smiled wider at his summoned heros. Five was a nice of number, and they all seemed to be pirates witch practically screamed chaos. They would be perfect. "Gentlemen!" Said Discord drawing the attention to him before with a snap of his fingers and all of them where seated at a second table that appeared out of nowhere loaded with sweets and a glass of chocolate milk for each person. "Welcome to Equestria. The Canterlot Castle to be precise. You see we have a small problem." He gestures to the statues around a table. "A undead goat broke in during tea. Turned several of my friends here to stone and kidnapped four princesses. But just ignored me like I didn't matter." He put his paw to his chest and swooned from the percieved insult. The ponies having heard this already sipped the chocolate milk. Luffy stuffed his face with cakes and cookies as he listened. Don Karnage had shown proper ettiquite and taken only a few cookies and set them on his plate and after a sip of his drink took to dunking them in it before eating them. Kenway showed similar manners but didn't dunk his cookies. Nathan helped him self to cake slice as he chose to listen and watch the craziest story he will ever have to tell unfold. But Jack after downing his glass in one go only to see it refill and to be disappointed it was not any kind of rum spoke. "Now while that's all very sad to hear, mate, I neither know who you are nor do I care about your problems. Especially given my ship is currently cursed and stuck in a bottle with a undead monkey running around on deck mucking about as it pleases and I have no rum. So who the hell are you, and why should I care?" "Oh silly me! I forgot to introduce my self and my companions. I'm Discord, Spirit of Chaos the unicorn to my left is Trixie Lulamoon the most power unicorn mage in Equestria at this time, and the one on my right is technical and musical genius Vinyl Scratch." The two mares nervously wave. "And who do we have the honour of being with?" Asked Discord. Jack smiled. "Why, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow mate, surely you've all heard of me." Said Jack. "I'm Captain Edward Kenway and no, I haven't." Said Kenway almost smiling when he saw Jack frown. "I am the Great Captain Don Karnage, the scurvy of the skies, the leader of a thousand pirates, Captain of dreaded Iron Volture, and the most feared pilot from Cape Suzet, to Vembrira!" He said with dramatic flair and pointing to the sky. "Wow you guys sound really cool and you're a talking wolf guy that's awesome... Oh yeah I guess it's my turn. I'm Monkey D. Luffy I'm king of the pirates!" shouted Luffy. Nathan watched along with every one else in mix of shock, awe and disgust as Luffy put a whole cake in his mouth. He then shook his head and spoke. "I'm Nathan Zachary, leader of the air pirate crew known as the Fortune Hunters." "Pleasure to meet you all. Now to answer Captain Sparrow's second question. If you help me save my friends, rescue the princesses and stop the evil goat skeleton from doing what ever it is he is doing. Then well you will obviously be well rewarded, after all the Princesses are immortal Alicorns and rulers of two nations, one of which is literally made of jewels. Also I can easily fix that ship in the bottle problem of yours." Said Discord. Luffy stopped eating "I'm in. You want us to save your friends right?" He looked at the stone ponies. "Then I will not only help but I will personally punch that stupid undead goat skeleton things face in! You have my word as king of the pirates!" Said Luffy. Don Karnage stood put a foot on the table and drew his sword and pointed it in the air. "I the Great Don Karnage as pirate of honor, will also help, though I will need my plane fixed and compensation for my time and efforts." He sheathed his sword. "Count me in, with me and Karnage in the sky we should be able to save the princesses. Besides I never could resist a damsel in distress, and a royal pay check for this sounds good." said Nathan. Jack looked at the group then at Discord. "You get me my ship back, mate, and I'll save your princesses, but I'll still need some rum. No man, sane or not can do something this crazy sober." "Well lads I guess we have come to an agreement, but I think we all overlooked two problems, even if we have Captain Sparrow's ship from that view off the balcony we have no water to sail her on and we have no crew to sail her with." Kenway points out. " That's not a problem. I'll just make it fly when I get it out of the bottle. As for crew... well both Trixie and Vinyl are unicorns. I'm sure that between the two of them they can handle anything you need on ship as they help with your quest." Said Discord getting stink eye from Trixie while no one could tell if Vynal was giving him the same look cause of her shades. "Well, there is still one problem, no rum." Said Jack. "What's with you and rum?" Asked Nathan as he stood up and walked to his plane. Jack looked at him and said. "I like rum. It's a pirates best friend. Besides if the is world is full of colorful talking unicorns-" "And earth ponies, Pegasus ponies, zebras, buffalo, saddlearabians, dragons, dunkies, minotuars, chimeras, Diamond dogs, bat ponies, kelpies, seaponies, griffins, goats and crystal ponies." Adds in Trixie smiling at the dumb founded and shocked look on Jacks face. "That's it, I ain't moving till I get me rum." Said Jack sitting down and pulling the ship in the bottle that was the Black Pearl out of his coat and set it on the table. Luffy ran around and starred at it. "So cool. Is that a monkey? Awsome!" Nathan set a crate on the table. "Here Jack try this." He pulls a bottle out of the crate and hands to Jack. "It's bootleg whiskey made by the Decarlow brothers gang. It's not rum but I have two cases of it it should do till we get some for you." Jack fiddled with top till it popped of with his teeth he spit it out and took a swig. "Uagh burns horrible, and hits like sand paper. It will do fine mate." He looks to Discord and the table. "Now about my.... where'd the Black Pearl go?" He asked noticing the bottle was gone. Discord smiled and pointed off the balcony. "Woo Monkey!" Shouted Luffy as he swung from one timber to the next chasing the monkey around his arms stretching as he did so. "This is shaping up to be one strange voyage mates." Said Kenway as he watched Luffy. "Yes. Yes it is." Said Nathan as he took a swig of whiskey and passed the bottle to Kenway. "No thanks mate, I think this is the first time I want to stay sober... just so I can know this is all real." He passed it down to Don Karnage who now seemed normal given what he was seeing. Karnage took a hard swig. "That's a good Whiskey though I prefer wine. I think it's appropriate given the strangeness of all this. Yes, no?" Said Karnage who passed it left with out looking, it being taken by Trixie's magic. "Trixie agrees but Trixie would rather have some apple family hard cider." She took a drink and offered it Vinyl. "None for me. My marefriend hates it when I drink, so I quit." Said Vinyl. Trixie shrugged took a second swig and floated it back to Nathan. Jack walked to banister and then jumped from it to his ship. "All right, mates, get those contraptions of yours tied down on deck, and bring the whiskey we have to go play hero and ruin our bad name as pirates." He then did his strange stumble strut around the deck investigating the ship. "Allow me." Said Discord as he snapped his claw and teleported the rest of the group on the ship along with the planes. "Have fun on your adventure, and do return swiftly with a cure and the princesses!" Called Discord as ship drifted away... He looked around. "Now what to do while I wait. I know I'll go tell Blueblood and Shining about what's going on and see if they want to play poker." He snapped his fingers and made a maid appear. "Miss, the princesses have been foalnapped, they and my friends are turned to stone and need looking after until the pirates and performers I enlisted rescue the Alicorns from the undead villain and find a cure, do so. So make sure that's done and the other maids know, I'm going to inform Shinny and Blueballs." With that he snapped his tail fur and vanished. "They don't pay us enough for this horse apples." Grumbled the maid as she shut the door to the balcony before starting to clean up.