Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster


Dad's Job

Ponyville Town Hall
Over one-thousand years ago

Rice had arrived at the board room of the Ponyville Town Hall at nine-fifteen, forty-five minutes before his scheduled meeting with the other members of the triumvirate. In that time, he had reviewed his latest proposals and how he was going to present them, refreshed himself over the most recent issues and how to address them and had consumed two cups of coffee, the second one half-decaf. He checked the blueprints on his wedge of the circular table in the dimly-lit room one more time, straightened them so they laid flat before poking his head out the double doors once again.

"Disco, any-"

"I told you," Discovery, his unicorn assistant sighed heavily, "I'll let you know when they get here."

"Right, but you have to-"

"Yes, Mr. Chancellor," Discovery interrupted again, irritatedly, "I'll alert you just BEFORE they walk in the doors." The bearded brown unicorn at the desk turned to his elected official. "Trust me."

Chancellor Rice Puddinghead smiled. "I, heheh, of course, Disco."

His unicorn assistant turned back to his desk. The double doors quietly closed behind Rice without another word between the two. There was no point in reiterating what they'd already said at least twice if not three times already. Rice checked the clock. It was ten-thirtyfive, getting close to a time to be reasonably concerned and he knew that. But it didn't help because he'd been through this before, even been concerned the first time. They'd all been through this before. Still, if he hadn't arrived at the appointed time, he'd be the one getting the concern. When preparation couldn't help, what good was planning ahead? It never made him any less nervous. The only hope was that maybe, it would end differently than the way it always started. The way it started every time.

He paced for a few minutes, then decided to take his seat. Food was in short supply, always had been and it was important to conserve energy. He still regretted not having something more for breakfast with the coffee percolating in his empty stomach but he liked to think his work was worth having a late meal. Still, the other triumvirs were pushing over an hour late and he was considering asking Discovery to get them both lunch. He quickly decided against the idea, in case him being found eating food in the office made him look a modicum less professional.

Stomach grumbling, this was how many ponies in Ponyville felt at least a couple times a week, thankfully not every day. Because of his innovations, not every day. It helped him though, to feel how those he represented felt. If they could suffer, so could he. And he had a feeling he was about to suffer.

Finally, at a quarter to eleven, Discovery's head poked through the double doors. "Guess who just decided to drop by?"

"Oh, thank shit," Rice rubbed his forehead, overcome with relief. The action drew a raised eyebrow and knowing grin from his unicorn aide but he made no further comment. "Uh, please show them in."

"I'd say they knew the way by now but considering how long they took… maybe they don't," he said with a chuckle.

"Please, c'mon Disco, this is important."

Discovery just smiled back at him. "Isn't it always?" The doors flapped shut again. A few moments later, they flew open again, this time both at once. Two armored pegasi bearing banners came to a crisp salute as they spread the doors wide for the grand entrance of General(manager) Typhoon and Princess Quintessulinda Qualmorre Quartz, the leaders of the pegasi and unicorns respectively.

Two of the general's guards took positions at the opposite corners of the room while the first two remained by the door. The princess's servants, two in front of her and four carrying her gown, waited for her to be seated before filing out of the room. The two closest servants, hoofmaidens, remained crouched with heads bowed as she sat. None of them, neither the princess and her servants nor the general and his guards even looked at Rice except in passing glance. The hoofmaidens perpetually kept their heads bowed and eyes either closed or on the floor while the guards remained at stoic attention, only visually scanning the room for threats.

This ritual would've seemed odd to Rice if he hadn't seen it take place every time they met. He did his best not to seem annoyed, not that they would've cared if he did. By now, Chancellor Rice Puddinghead was used to the etiquette of the triumvirate. He was also used to the disrespect, used to the unprofessionalism and used to having to deal with it every other week. But, he always did his best to remain positive. This was just the nature of politics.

General Typhoon removed his helmet and sat it down the edge of one of Rice's blueprints, a design for a new aquifer. Rice carefully pulled the print out from under the helmet, eliciting a quirked eyebrow from the general.

It couldn't entirely be blamed on any one of them. They just experienced cultural differences and had to work through them. Unfortunately, it felt like Rice was the only one trying to work through them.

With that in mind, Rice decided to try and break the ice. As always. "So… how's everything in with you guys?"

"Quite fair, thank you."

"Fine," the two answered tersely.

It took them almost a full minute before Princess Quartz finally opened her eyes and asked, "And… how is Ponyville?"

"Oh, you know, same-old. Still having to work our tails off to make quota, so-"

"But you are going to make it," General Typhoon turned a quick question to him. "Right?" Princess Quartz turned her concerned, judgmental gaze to Rice as well. As usual, when something actually affected them, they were ready to listen. Now he had them right where he wanted them.

"Well, you know, it's never easy," Rice said, deliberately avoiding giving them a straight answer. "I suppose it's a lot like trying to manage the weather and control the sun and moon. Can't be easy for you guys either, right?" He grinned.

The other two glared at him. Of course it was easier for them; they all knew it. But they would never admit it, Rice knew that. The unicorns controlled the sun and the moon, using their collective magic to set its pace during the day and the moon during the night. The pegasi controlled the clouds, monitoring everything with the same military precision and discipline they displayed when they were an army. In many ways, they still were, clearly having difficulty adapting to their new role.

But when it came right down to it, it just was easier for the unicorns and the pegasi. Even though they had to do their jobs every day, the sky wasn't getting any bigger. The magic needed to set the sun and the moon remained the same. Neither task required the full attention and commitment from the entire race, unlike growing crops. And while Equestria wasn't getting any bigger, the pony population was. Every day.

"We all have our roles to play, Chancellor," Quartz said, her voice just a little too royal to be comfortable.

"Yeah, roles," Typhoon said, elbow on the table. The general often took up the position of crony when the Princess spoke. Rice had to wonder if Typhoon even knew what a chancellor was. Or how to spell it.

"We have discussed this before," Quartz continued. And they had, on multiple occasions. Pretty much every time they met, but it didn't stop Rice from persevering. He'd discuss as many times as he needed, until they understood. This was not something that would just go away. "Equestria's harmony, our unity is reliant on our ability to work together."

"Yeah, you guys need to pull your weight," Typhoon added.

That may have been a mistake. "Pull our weight? Did you seriously just say that?"

The general stood up from his chair. "Why? You want to make something of it?" The other pegasi guards turned their attention to the display, preparing to intervene. On Typhoon's side, of course.

Rice was no bruiser. The general was strong, well-trained and equipped for combat against other species, not that it had been necessary since Equestria's founding. Typhoon may have been the same size as Rice but she was also wearing full battle dress, armor that made her all the more physically intimidating. And powerful. Along with her backup, Rice didn't stand a chance and they were just waiting for the opportunity to prove it to him.

A scuffle like this had only happened once before when Rice had tried to argue with General Typhoon. He had backed down and things had returned to business as usual, same as always.

But not this time. "Maybe I do want to make something of it."

The guards stepped forward.

"At ease," Typhoon ordered. The two ponies locked eyes. "I think you need to be reminded of your place, grounder."

"Enough," Quartz said. She used her magic to pull the two apart from each other, stopping a physical confrontation before it could start. "You both know what this kind of conflict invites. It is our duty to preserve harmony. That is our obligation above all else."

Rice and Typhoon took their seats again, slowly prying their eyes off each other.

Quartz turned to Rice. "Are you having difficulty making quota or not?"

"We're pulling double and triple-shifts to meet the bare minimum. Moral is low and we barely have time for anything but the farms. If something happens, a fire, a rogue storm, infestation, I can't guarantee we won't be short," Rice answered honestly.

Quartz closed her eyes, resuming her overly-regal manor. "Disasters are our concern, Chancellor. At your current output, you will be able to make quota?"

"At the current rate, yes but the earth ponies can't take-"

"Then it is clear," Quartz announced. "Heavy workload aside, it is your duty to compensate for such complications. You will continue working at the current output level to meet our needs, yes?"

Rice knew it was an order, not a question. "Yesssss," he hissed angrily through gritted teeth.

Whether Quartz recognized his anger or not, she turned to General Manager Typhoon. "Is this proposal sound to you?"

"Yeah, sounds great," Typhoon said, using her helmet as a backscratcher.

"Very well, the matter is settled," Quartz declared.

The double doors to the room burst open again. "Can I freshen up any pony's coffee? We all good on cream?"

The politicians, security guards and servants cast a wtf glare at Discovery as he poked his head through the door. "Okay, no pony wants cream."