So I am sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my favorite customers, Filthy Rich.
Now, it’s not hard to see why Mr. Rich is one of me favorite customers. He would always leave a large tip and his drinking habits were earning me quite the bits, if you know what I mean.
He is usually a cheery and proud fella, but today he seemed kind of down in the dumps.
“So what’ll it be today?” I asked him.
“Vodka”, he said, “And leave the bottle”.
I sipped him in his drink and left the bottle at him. He looked at the glass, then back at me.
“You know what I like about vodka, barskey?” he asked me.
“No, I don’t”, I replied.
“It’s clear”, Mr. Rich replied, “You can easily see its intentions and know everything you need to know”, he said and gulped down the vodka.
I just stood there and looked at him.
The guy seemed completely destroyed.
I mean he was going all out, gulping down vodka faster than Bon Bon.
“So what happened, sir?”, I pried.
“I lost a lot of money this week”, he said, “Some of my biggest secrets got out to the general public. I mean who would have known that having
foal workers would ruin my reputation?! I mean those kids parents allowed them freely to work. I didn’t force them to do anything they didn’t already sign up for!”, he yelled and kicked one of me chairs.
“Oi, calm down, Mr. Rich”, I said to him.
He started to slowly relax and fix up his ruffled mane.
“I am sorry”, Filthy Rich said, “but I am just a little under pissed off because of all of this! I mean they treated me like I am a freaking slave worker! A slave worker!”, he yelled angrily, “I paid those kids almost two bits per hour! So unfair…”
I just sort of nodded and vacantly agreed with him. Celestia knows, I am not going to oppose a man who used foalren as his main working force.
“So what happened?” I asked.
“Well the higher ups made me shut down all my corporations that had anything to do with foal labor. Which, when all things summed up, was about 70% of all my factories”, he said.
“That many were ran by foal labor?” I asked in shock.
“Well yeah”, Filthy said groggily, “After that whole ‘no slaves ‘ act was passed, I had to work off of what I had”.
“That sounds horrible!” I exclaimed.
“Sure, for them”, Filthy said, “I am still ridiculously rich and my zapp apple business is going rather well”.
“So why are you so depressed’” I asked.
“Haven’t you heard?!” he yelled “70% of my factories were shut down! I am being chased by hundreds of pissed off colts and mares, wanting my head on a silver pleader!”
“Oh right, I see”, I said to him, “So what are you going to do now?”
“Well, I was thinking of moving to Sweet Apple Acres”, he said, “They are pretty much the only ones who haven’t shunned so I figured, I will lay
there for a bit until this whole mess settles down”, he explained.
“Are you sure that’s going to work?” I asked him.
“I’ve gotten out of worse situations then this”, Mr. Rich said.
“What about your family?” I ask.
“Well my wife won’t mind and my daughter goes to school with the youngest fillies. I am sure they’ll get along just fine”, he said and gave me a pleased smile.
He then paid for the bottle and slowly trotted out of the bar, leaving a gracious tip behind.
You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.