//------------------------------// // Make Like a Tree and Trope // Story: Ynanhluutr // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “Gnngghh...” Revan limped out the front entrance to the Stronghold, gripping his aching skull with a hoof. “Why in the frosted hells didn't you tell me about this sooner?!” “We... we weren't exactly sure what it was at first, Boss Revan!” stammered one of several guards crowded around him. “Weren't sure what it was?!” Revan spun and shouted in the guard's muzzle, forcing him to fall on his flank. “They tore our headquarters a new flankhole with our own explosives!” “Boss! S-sorry, Boss!” the stallion trembled. “Please don't blow up my family!” “With what?!” Revan grumbled. “My eyebrow dandruff?! Those were the last of our ordinance! Guhhhh!” He kicked a nearby metal bulkhead and squinted into the setting sunlight. “Somepony tell me they were actually here to steal something and not just make me look like the king of idiots!” “You saw one of them, Boss,” another guard said. “That mercenary who brought the midnighter in. Surely he was in on it.” “That wasn't a mercenary,” Revan seethed. “That was a broken record player in a Verlaxion damn hat. Where's Cold Snap?! Somepony go find that unicorn idiot!” A breathless guard rushed in from the Stronghold's interior. “Boss, the water's stopped rising!” “Oh yeah? Where at?” “The Third Floor, Boss,” he said. “Somepony opened the flood pipes.” “Well, at least we've got a sprinkle of gold dust atop today's pile of shit.” Revan grumbled. “Find Cold Snap. I need his magic in tracking down our saboteurs.” “Uhm...” The guard fidgeted. “Cold Snap's unconscious, Boss. And I think someone kicked him in the family jewels.” “Huh... beat me to it.” Revan squinted. “Wait... how do you know this?” “I saw him on the fourth floor. He's a sobbing, blubbering mess... and... uhm...” The guard bit his lip, glancing at the others. “What?!” Revan glared. “Spit out!” “It's... it's about... uh... the Fourth Floor... uhm...” Nervously, the guard leaned in and whispered in Revan's ear. Revan stared off. Gradually, his coat paled and his ears folded. He fought off the panic with a loud, hollering voice: “I want every able-bodied stallion to search the lengths of Rust for the mercenary in the hat!” He spun, waving an angry hoof. “He's got to be with the other saboteurs! Bring me them so I can personally feed them their own nutsacks!” “Sir, one of our guys woke up from being knocked out,” a thug said, trotting up. “Mentioned something about a blue pegasus mare and some griffon dude with a metal arm.” “Where were they seen last?” “On the Third Floor. Right where it was flooding.” “Wait... that means...” Revan gnashed his teeth. “Sonuvabitch... they used the floodpipes to escape!” He broke into a gallop, heading due south. “Follow me! To the Iron District! Two of you! Run to the marina and grab some boats!” “Yes, Boss Revan!” A pair of guards galloped in the opposite direction as he tore off down the platforms, causing several citizens to glance nervously, fitfully. “They're dead the moment they try leaving this place,” Revan snarled in mid-stride. “Ungrateful slobbering pissants... I'm the one thing holding this whole damn ocean up!” “Come on, Feathers,” Rainbow Dash said, hobbling along as she supported the weight of Wildcard leaning against her. The two of them attracted no small amount of curious gazes from the citizens of Rust populating the streets and storefronts all around. “I'm sure it'll be a cozy ride on board the Arrowfish. It'll be just like... a zeppelin! Only, like, on water.” She glanced at him. “You're not allergic to peanuts, are you?” The griffon merely shuddered. Ocean water leaked out the edges of his goggles. “Y'know...” Rainbow shifted the weight of her bulging saddlebags and reached for his eyepieces. “Maybe it'd help if you just—” WHAP! He swatted her hoof away with a metal talon. Rainbow blinked. “Yeesh.” She picked up the pace, dragging him over a bridge leading to another platform. “Bard's right. You are loud.” “Freeze!” A young, thin stallion rushed up. He fumbled with his crossbow before aiming the thing at the two, shivering slightly. “Boss Revan says to take you down! So... let's d-do this nice and easy!” “...” Rainbow smiled. “Easy is right. Easy peasy!” She dropped Wildcard (Thwump!) and rushed forward on blurred wings. The guard gasped and fired wildly. Th-Th-Thwifft! Each crossbolt whizzed past Rainbow's body as she galloped, side-stepped, ran up the side of a lamppost, bounced off, and slammed her hoof across the guard's face in the descent. “OOF!” He spat a tooth out and fell down hard. “Hah!” Rainbow Dash landed in a squat, still dripping with seawater. “Whew! After nearly drowning, that sure as heck felt goooooo-oo-oo-oo—” She stood up, eyes wide. Eight stallions rushed up, all equipped with the same standard-issue crossbows and clubs. They shoved gasping citizens aside and growled at the mare. Their shiny weapons raised at the ready. “—oo-oo-oohhh boy, this is gonna suck,” Rainbow's voice cracked, already backtrotting. “RAAAUGH!” The group rushed forward. The stallions in front swung their bludgeons while those in the rear let loose a violent barrage of projectiles. Rainbow Dash side-stepped two swings, ducked a crossbolt, deflected another attack, headbutted a guard, then leaned back—flinching—from another crossbolt. Pting! It ricocheted off her Loyalty Pendant. She blinked, grinning wide. “Hah-HA!” WHAM! A club connected hard with her side, pinballing her over to a rolling stop besides Wildcard. “Mmmfnngh... no fair... not even first inning...” She stirred, looking up with pained eyes. The seven remaining guards loomed above the two heisters, raising their weapons. Then, from high above. “YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHAAAAA!” The Syndicate thugs looked up, their unwitting bodies christened with a large shadow. FWOOOSH! Bard came sailing straight down, wings spread, swinging his staff at full force. WHUDDDDD! The impact of his weapon against the bridge was so intense that it broke off several decrepit metal panels—which dropped out beneath the guards. “Aaaaaaaaaaugh!” The group of Syndicate thugs shrieked as they fell deep into the drink, sputtering and splashing below. “Oooof!” Echo shook, slitted eyes spinning as he clung painfully to Bard's backside. “...I want to ride another pony now,” he wheezed. “Howdy, y'all?” Bard smirked, still recovering from the reverberation of his staff-strike through his muscular frame. “Mind if I dr—” “That's only cool if you use it beforehoof,” Rainbow said. “Awwwww.” “Still...” Rainbow stood up with a frazzled smile. “Thanks a ton.” “Only wish I did it earlier, but I had to make myself scarce.” The mercenary glanced at Wildcard's waterlogged figure. “Wow, you sure look worse for wear, Dubya-Cee.” The griffon staggered to his paws, regaining some of his strength. Nevertheless, he struggled slightly before hand-signing a few choice words. “Really? She did, huh?” Bard smirked at Rainbow, then back at Wildcard. “Reckon she deserves a kiss for that.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Dude...” “Better yet.” Bard collapsed his staff and adjusted the weight of the sarosian on his back. “Lemme kiss her for ya later.” “Dude!” Rainbow shrugged, frowning. “I'll kiss all three of you if you would just get us the hell out of here!” Echo spat. “Dayum skippy.” Bard nodded. “Got the goods?” “And then some,” Rainbow said. “Good.” Bard led the charge. “Let's mosey!” The three galloped, spread their wings, then glided low over the gasping, gawking crowd.