//------------------------------//
// self insert 
// Story: Lost in the heat of battle 3 The Apple does not fall far from the Tree. 
// by heavy weapons brony 
//------------------------------//

It was a dark and stormy night when,....wait no it wasn't. In fact it was a very sunny fall day in Ponyville.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I guess my hand have to get used to the sensation of typing again, hopefully this story won’t contain any more nonsense.

Anyway it was a sunny fall day in Ponyville as Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle walked down main street. The antro-Mares had nothing better to do that day and were wandering around aimlessly through town.

Until Twilight Sparkle stopped walking, Right beside an abandoned building in the middle of main street and became lost in thought, as if she had just remembered something.

“Girls” She said.

The other 4 stopped and turned to her friend. 

“What is it sugarcube?” Applejack said in her usual delightful manner.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked with concern.

Other’s eyes filled with realization as they searched their minds for the last time they had seen there party animal friend.

“I don't rightly know.” Applejack responded. “I remember when she found her son, then,......its pretty much a blank.”

“I actually checked the calendar this morning, She found her son over two months ago,” Twilight pointed out. “And another thing, that abandoned building I so conveniently stopped next to is Sugarcube corner.”

The five friends all turned to Sugarcube corner and found why it was so easily mistaken for an abandoned building. The Bright Pink paint had faded, as if the life of the color had been sucked out. All the windows had been boarded up and on the door hung a closed sign with the word “Forever!” Written in red paint under the sign.

“Gosh, I guess when Pinkie Pie got her son we just wrote her off as a busy mom, i guess we should just leave her be. If she needed help she would have called ” Fluttershy said.

“Oh-no,” Applejack responded. “Look at this place, Pinkie needs our help, C'mon girls.”

Applejack grabbed the handle on the front door and turned it, to find the door had been boarded shut. Applejack then gave the door a good shove with her shoulder. The door gave way and the five friends were immediately covered in dust and dirt that had fallen from the door sill. 

Once coughs where coughed and sputters where sput, the girls then noticed the spookiest thing about the dilapidated eating establishment.

The quiet. The Girls all stood up straight and soaked in the silence.

*Creeek

All the girls jumped slightly, as if the house was going to come to life any minute and eat them.





*Creeek

There it was again, but just a bit longer. Applejack motioned for the girls to follow. She led the gang through the dark and cobweb covered remains of the dining area and past the counter. There the girls could see a flickering light from behind the corner. Shining through the windowed swinging door that separated the kitchen from the Dining room.

*Creeek

Applejack gave and nervous glance to all the others, who all nodded. Applejack raised her orange hand and pushed back the door. The Door Revealed the kitchen, The counters were all covered with a inch of dust and cobwebs. A Single fluorescent light flickered, illuminating the room.

*Creeek

Much louder this time the eerie noise had caught the attention of the girls, drawing attention to its source.

A Old-timey rocking chair made of birch branches inhabited the center of the room, facing a grease fryer. The red light telling the girls that it was currently on and due to the build up of overcooked black nasty grease flowing from its sides, it had been on for a long time.

But none of this was really important, what was important was who was sitting in the rocking chair.

“Pinkie Pie?” The rescue team said in unison.

Pinkie leaned back and turned her head towards the girls, The group gasped. you could tell Pinkie hadn't moved from that spot for a long time. Her makeup had congealed on her face, leaving streaks and her hair sat flat on her head.
Pinkie grew a small smile “Hey girls, have you come to wait with me?”

“Wait for what?” Twilight asked.

“For First to come out of the fryer” Pinkie answered. Pointing to the active fryer.

“COME OUT OF THE FRYER?” The girls screamed.

“You don't have to yell, but yes. he's been down there a long, long time.” Pinkie retorted.

“Okay wait, exactly what happened?” Twilight asked.

“Well after our first night as mother and son, I went down to the kitchen to start the morning doughnuts, Then I accidentally dropped my class ring in the fat. First noticed my distress and being the good boy he is he said he wanted to go after it. “No,No,NO” I said, but he told me not to worry, one of his uncle had given him something that would keep him safe. So without waiting for an answer he went upstairs and grabbed his backpack and jumped in, And he's been there ever since.”

“And you didn't think to get one of us?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I didn't want to bother anyone, but don't worry I did call someone the day after.”

“Who?”

“I don’t remember his name, but he seemed like the right person to call, but he is taking his dear sweet time hasn't he?” Pinkie giggled.

Twilight turned to the girls and motioned for them to huddle up.

“Okay, i know we all love Pinkie, but i think her insane son’s death has pushed her over the edge.” Twilight whispered.

“Yeah, it seems to put her out of sorts.” Applejack had agreed.

“She finally gone off the deep end, i'm just glad she didn’t hack any of us up.” Rainbow added.

The rest of the girls deadpanned Rainbow.

“Oh yeah, too bad about First though, candle burns twice and fast for half as long or whatever” Rainbow said.

The girls then broke the huddle and slowly walked around Pinkie.
“Pinkie, how long has it been since you've seen you son?” Rarity asked.

“About two months.” Pinkie responded.

The girls winced.

“And the last you saw of him is when he dived into the frayer of white hot boiling fat?”

“Yes” Pinkie said, almost excited to talk about her son.

“Pinkie”

“Yes Rarity?”


“I think you should come with us.”

“Why?”


“So you can get some help.”

“But I already called for help, he’ll be here he's just taking awhile.”

The girls grabbed Pinkie, She became frightened and started screaming and kicking.

“NO,..ugh, What are you doing! I can’t go anywhere I have to be here when he gets here.”

“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled. “Your son is dead due to a simple misjudgment, you need to accept that, what you also need to accept is you need help from someone else and that this person you “called” is not coming, never, ever, not in a millio-”

*BOOM!

Twilight was interrupted by a huge explosion that destroyed the swinging door to the kitchen, The room filled with dust and all the girls were thrown into a heap on the ground.

After the dust cleared the girls all gazed that the creature that had caused the Door to implode on itself.

It was a huge figure of a man. at least 6,10 and 280 pounds, he had massive fists, he wore boots and jeans on his legs and feet. on this chest he wore and cotton shirt so enormous anybody there could use it as a parachute, the shirt itself was darkblue with a silhouette of a pony on it and the word “Brony” written in black over the image of the pony. He had a strong chin, and scratchy beard, a monocle over his right eye and a top hat atop his big bald head.

“Heavy Weapons Brony!” Pinkie cheered.

“Hey Pinkie!” H.W.B. yelled back as a ninja jumped from the shadows and towards H.W.B.

H.W.B. punched the ninja out of a nearby window.

“Sorry Im late Pinkie! traffic was a bitch!” H.W.B. yelled punching away another ninja.

“Now that the shadowkhan have been defeated I must to save my O.C.!”

H.W.B, charged the fryer,he took a flying leap through the air and landed a perfect swan dive into the sizzling fat.

The Pinkie smiled happily while the rest of the girls stared in shock, unsure on what was happening.

A Mass of limbs erupted from the fryer. A grease covered H.W.B. threw the limp form of First Class onto the tile floor and climbed from the fryer.

“First! Please be okay! I knew I shouldn't have let you go into the fryer without me!” Pinkie yelled, beginning to sob.

“I feel obligated to call D.F.S.” Rainbow interjected.

First didnt look good, his eyes were empty and his skin was pale blue. Pinkie whined.

“No! hes dead!”

“Not this O.C.” H.W.B yelled.

H.W.B. raised both of his massive fists and with a roar brought them down on First’s chest.

“LIVE!” H.W.B Demanded, Bringing his fists down again.

The moment they hit First’s chest he coughed, a gold streak shot from his mouth and hit Pinkie square in-between the eyes. It bounced off her forehead and landed into her hands.

“*Gasp! my class ring!”

“Live!” H.W.B. Yelled, smashing First’s chest a third time, causing a rather large red box and fly from First’s mouth and hit H.W.B in the chest.

“Gaa!” H.W.B Yelled.


First began to cough and choke, but regained breathing. He sat up and felt his chest.

“*Gasp! I’m alive!........Hooray!” First cheered.

“Son!” Pinkie cheered throwing her arms around him.

Heavy Weapons Brony sat up and held the dispenser that was somehow got lodged inside of First, the healing properties kept him inches from death for the past two months.

“Thanks Heavy Weapons Brony!” The mother/son combo said in unison.

“Everypony gets one, now how about some ice cream?” H.W.B suggested.

“Yay” They cheered.

H.W.B then dug into His magical pockets and produced a gallon of ice cream, he handed out 2 cones and gave Pinkie and First a scoop each.

“Thanks again!” Pinkie and First cheered.

“Anytime you two, and remember. Dont do drugs!” H.W.B.

“Unless you're a hippie and want the terrorists to win! We remember!” The duo chimed.

“Thats right,...goodbye.” H.W.B started to leave and found the other 5 mares standing there in a line, eyes filled with shock and mouths agape.

“Oh what the heck?” H.W.B said shrugging, he handed out 5 more ice cream cones, Each Girl took them very absentmindedly.

H.W.B walked out of the kitchen through the hole where the door use to be, Pinkie and First trailing behind him.

“C’mon son, looks like we got some cleaning to do.” Pinkie said between slurps of ice cream.

First nodded in response, obviously enjoying his. 

The other five still stood there, after several minutes their ice cream began to melt and dribble over their fists.

Rainbow then furiously threw hers onto the ground.