One Step, Two Step, Three Hoof, Four Dead

by David Silver


71 - No Rest for the Wicked

We were summoned to the meeting room later the same day. Our pony friend was there. He was tired, like all the rest of the brass. "Tell me you're the bearer of good news."

I gestured at Neon. "Say hello to the commander of the South American forces, or she was. She's surrendered to my care, and we've scattered a few of her rogue forces. There's no long-term threat from the south to worry about."

The woman raised a brow. "Fascinating. You seem to have picked up some of her traits. We trust none of her inclinations?"

Neon dipped her head lightly. "No, they beat me. For reasons still a little past me, they just want to keep me around, instead of killing me or throwing me in a jail, so here I am. I don't plan to be a useless lump, so what do you need us to do?"

Sandra pulled Neon back and Neon relaxed almost instantly, becoming placated in Sandra's gentle embrace.

Our pony general nodded. "Good, that's good... The attacks were getting worse and we were worried we'd have to resort to more desperate measures. Our network of communication isn't as tight as we'd like it, and men are spread out far too wide to comfortably engage in a land war, as if there were ever comfortable ways to do that." He pulled out a camera with his magic and snapped a shot of Sandra and Neon. "At least we'll have a charming picture to show any remaining factions, perhaps calm them down a little. If their supply is cut off, the war's basically over. We haven't been idle."

"Certainly not." One of the human males stood. "We've managed to create a few tools that have gone a long way to put people at ease and increase safety." He produced a little metal box and set it on the table. "Just press the button, point it at a pony, and it lights red if they're infectious, or green if they're safe. Simple, fast, reliable." He pointed it at the horse general and showed it flash green. It was red for me and Sandra, and green for everyone else.

Another leader wobbled a hand. "We've also expanded significantly in all directions. The cycle of training, assimilation, stabilization, and back to training has been working well. Many of the ferals are just as happy to see us as any humans we bring on board. There are some communities that didn't want to play poker, but we just moved around them. They'll change their mind soon enough when their neighbors are enjoying the benefits of cohabitation with the new pony class of citizen."

The pony leader chuckled softly. "It's not so different from being a person, just less fingers really." He wagged his forehooves before fixing his eyes on me. "That reminds me. I got a new girl."

The others grunted softly. Perhaps he had told the story plenty of other times. "She's a real gem, and likes ponies just fine. I tell you, fingers on fur? That's the sweet spot."

The female leader raised a brow. "Much more interesting is the fact that his union, along with a few others, have proven that humans and ponies are cross compatible. The scientists are monitoring the situation intently. There's no particular assurance the children will be born healthy, and fertile."

Cindy smiled brightly. "That's wonderful. That means everyone can love each other."

She smirked a bit. "I'm not sure love is always the operative emotion. Ponies, especially low-functioning ones, are still creatures of intense lust. Though less than when we started, it's not unknown for two ponies to just start copulating shamelessly in the middle of a shift. They will not care who is around or not, and return to work as soon as they've finished. It's about as disruptive as a smoke break, for the two involved personally." She pointed with a pen to where Sandra held Neon gently. "Affection is a natural state."

The pony leader sighed. "I wish that applied up north. New York is still a mess, with the ponies controlling things. They aren't infecting the humans like they were down south, they just control them, like slaves. The reports are a bit spotty, as we don't trust human agents to go in safely, and the pony ones are still being retrained. Sorry to bring this up so soon after you got back, but are you willing to go up there? If we could pacify that situation, we'd be looking really good for the foreseeable future, and we could unite America."

Dust frowned a little. "Not the United States? You're going to take all of America this time."

"And why wouldn't we? Someone has to offer order."

Dust clopped a hoof to the ground. "Figures! You've been waiting over a century for the chance to finish the job. The end of the world was just an excuse to push your borders as far as they'll go."

Sandra squeezed Neon lightly. "We have something you want to hear before we talk about New York. We have a game changing thing to bring to all the cities. What would you say to restoring power, without the need for coal or fuel? No smog of any kind, and no real pollution of any significant kind."

The female leader raised a brow. "I'd say you're promising more than you can deliver. We don't have time for fantasies."

Neon sat up in Sandra's grip. "I've already overseen the setup in many cities. It works just fine, so long as you have a population of unicorns."

The male pony leader leaned forward a little, being a unicorn himself. "Why is that important?"

Sandra squeezed Neon gently. "We'll share, but first, I have a request."

One of the other leaders frowned. "Are you extorting us?"

Sandra waved a hoof. "Nothing so sinister. I just want it official that Neon is forgiven for her crimes. She's with us, and I will protect her and show her the right way." Neon flushed through her fur, looking embarrassed, but pleased, at Sandra's words.

It was soon agreed that they wouldn't pursue charges against the former leader of South America.

Sandra and Neon began to explain how the unicorn banks worked. "If you have a battery, that's best," explained Neon. "Let them charge the battery and work off of that, instead of directly, but if you don't, you can still make it work. It just means you need more unicorns to keep it steady and constant. Ideally you'll have one of us." She extended a tongue. "We can move energy from one unicorn to the next, keeping them in line, and also providing first aid if one overdoes it and becomes weak. Twelve hours is the absolute maximum shift length. More than that and they start to get tired and miserable quickly, even if they look like they're 'just sitting there'. They should be paid well and made to feel important, because they are, and they're doing important work. Just like the earth ponies make all the food we need, and the pegasi keep weather turned in our favor. Ponies bend nature to our needs."

One of the other leaders made a quick scribble. "We should start here. If it can be stabilized and used, we can expand the program. Electricity would mean we could get water purification plants back online, radio, and refrigeration. It would be literal night and day, and people would feel like they're really recovering."

The pony leader pointed a hoof at us. "About the only pony you haven't found a definitive place for are the hydras. Fortunately, they still fall under the other qualification. A hydra earth pony is still an earth pony, ditto pegasus or unicorn. Ah, this reminds. Have you had any word from elsewhere in the world?"

I had, when I thought about it. "The ponies of Africa and Europe are aware of our mingling with humans and are going to try and start their own programs to be able to interact with our human peers safely. S-classes, like me. They were in contact with Luna, the off-world one. We were able to speak face-to-face, as it were."

Neon's ears wilted a little. "That's where I first met you. I thought for sure you were just a toady of these humans, and you'd see us all rounded up for concentration camps."

Sandra squeezed Neon, forcing a squeak out of her. "We're equal, more or less. No pony is forced to work any more than a human is, and they get paid for what they do, just like the humans. We're even getting married across species lines, and having children." She smiled hopefully. "I hope we eventually learn to not care much if someone has four legs or two. We're all people."

The woman pointed her pen at Sandra. "Why is she live with infection again? I thought she was sterilized?"

Dust chuckled at that. "She's a, what did you say, S-Class? She took it from Neon and she isn't giving it back."

This caused some stir around the table. News that they now had two friendly S-Classes was exciting and encouraging.

Hope smiled a little timidly. "She's still the same Sandra, just larger and more talented. We're still the same herd."

Dust softly cuffed him before drawing him against her side with her practiced magic. "Your herd's not the same. It's almost doubled in size."

One of the men cleared his throat. "We've been trying to encourage a sense of normalcy, which has included issuing marriage certificates. Demand being what it is, you wouldn't be the first 'herd' we've formally recognized, nor the largest. There was one circle of ten earth ponies, two unicorns, and a pegasus stud that were all happy to be married to the one guy." He raised a brow. "I don't envy him. He doesn't get out much. That clearly isn't an issue with your 'group', or herd as the popular term goes."

Sandra perked her ears. "I'd... really like that." she squeezed Neon again like her favorite teddy bear before looking at me. "What do you think?"

I nodded at her. "We've been married unofficially for a while, and making it formal's fine by me, but you're getting Cindy too."

Cindy grinned. "Thanks for not forgetting me. I never thought I'd be married..."

Hope raised a hoof. "Does that include us?"

Dust tilted her head. "Us?"

"Yes, us." Hope poked her in the chest. "I want to be a part of them, with you."

Dust bit him on the cheek. "Are you proposing to me?"

Hope squeaked and rolled his ears back. "Um, yes? If you want? Please."

Dust chuckled at his uncertainty. "We're going to have to work on that spine of yours." She looked at Sandra, then me. "Where do we sign?"

We would take care of New York, as a family. It felt somehow so much more real when we had the paper written out with all our signatures and stamped by all the brass. We were a herd, and we were happy about it.