//------------------------------// // The Straight And Narrow // Story: The Napoleons: The Confessions & Revelations Of The Greatest Mafia Family // by Bluecatcinema //------------------------------// 'And now we move on to Arson Blaze Napoleon, better known as 'Sonny'. Aside from Caboose, he was always the nicest and most mild-mannered out of all of us. He was always the one who says 'look before you leap' and is most of the time, impossible to make mad. Annoy, maybe, but not mad.' 'As his name suggests, he has a artist's touch when it comes to starting fires. After all, he did burn down that warehouse... although, Sonny swears up and down that it was an accident, and all he was trying to do was heat up a can of soup he had on him when he was with Anarchy and co. trying to scope out the place. The warehouse did end up having illegal contraband, so it wasn't a total disaster. Even better, it helped Sonny find his second true calling: cooking and baking.' 'I will not lie, while we are not totally helpless in making food, when it came to our family, our cooking skills were subpar, and we often relied on our other cooks and our mom to make a great meal... but when Sonny got his cutie mark, he decided to take up cooking to hone his fire magic, and a culinary master chef was born. He made some of the best dishes I've ever tasted. His radish ravioli in particular is sublime. We loved his food, and he loved us for it. He hardly ever had a cross word to say to any of us (even Slot), and always ready with some support and a snack.' 'Unfortunately, like the rest of us, Sonny had his own demons to face. But before I get to that, you all should know that this chapter will contain some rather risque material. For anypony that is of a conservative nature (especially in terms of sexuality), you might not find this chapter to your liking, and you should skip ahead to the end.' 'It all started years back, when Sonny joined Lars, Salt, and Caboose on a monster hunting expedition. They had been tasked by 'Fabulous' Fisk Filtcher, a kingpin from San Franciscolt to venture into the frozen north and bring back an exceptionally rare snowbeast. In return, Filtcher would grant us unlimited trade with his city. This was back when we had little stakes in Equestria, so this deal was rather important to us. So off they went, hunting for a snowbeast...' The four brothers were trekking through the snowy wilds, each wearing fuzzy parkas, face masks, and visors. "Geez, it's freezing." Salt shivered. "If I lose a hoof to frostbite, somepony's gonna pay for this!" "Complaining won't keep you warm." Lars scowled. "Come on guys, let's just try and focus on catching that thing so we can go home." Sonny suggested. "That suits me fine." Salt scowled. "That's the spirit, Lars." Caboose smiled. "I'm Salt." Salt glared. "Oh, sorry." Caboose frowned. "I can't recognise anypony when we're all covered up like this." "What about our voices?" Sonny asked. "They're not that muffled." "I beg to differ, Salt." Caboose retorted. "Let's just get going." Lars sighed. "Get this over with as soon as possible." "You got it, Sonny." Caboose nodded. They soon reached the area which they had been informed was the snowbeast's territory. "Okay, let's set up that trap." Lars declared. The trap was a simple one, comprising of a wooden cage, a rope, and a slab of meat. "Okay, now when the snowbeast comes into the cage, we pull the rope and trap it." Lars smiled. "Simple, right?" "Sure." Caboose nodded, grabbing the rope. "What could go wrong?" "A lot, if you're in charge of pulling the rope." Salt glared, snatching the rope. "Okay, geez." Caboose pouted, "I swear, I mess up catching one Orthros, and you hold it against me forever." "One Orthros, and a dozen broken bones between us." Salt said darkly. Sonny placed the meat in the cage. "Yuck." He cringed. "Can't believe they actually eat the flesh of other creatures. Who does that, anyway?" There was a rustling in the nearby bushes. "Shh." Lars hissed. "Get over here, guys. I think we've got a bite." The brothers hid themselves. A snowbeast emerged from the bushes, obviously drawn by the smell of the meat. It followed the scent into the cage, and starting chewing on the piece of meat." "Now!" Lars yelled. Salt yanked on the rope, closing the cage door. The snowbeast, realizing it had been trapped, snarled and roared. "We did it!" Caboose whooped. "We rock! We rock!" "Job well done, guys." Sonny smiled. Before long, they had brought the cage to their camp. "We finally snagged us a snowbeast." Lars grinned. "I'll go send word to Fisk's boys that we've got it." "And I'll go grab some firewood for a little celebratory dinner." Sonny smiled. The two went off in opposite directions, leaving just Salt and Caboose. Before long, Salt felt a pressure in his lower regions. "I need to take a leak." He declared. "Guard the snowbeast." "You got it." Caboose nodded. "I will watch over this foul beast, and ensure it will remain contained. This, I swear!" "Just don't screw up." Salt growled, "The last thing I need is having to explain to Grim again why we've come back empty-hooved and scarred all over." Salt rushed into the snow, looking for a decent place to go. "Don't screw up." Caboose snorted. "Gimme a break. Like I can't do anything right..." "Excuse me." Caboose turned to see another parka-wearing Earth Pony. The pony's voice was muffled by its mask, making it impossible to know whether it was a stallion or a mare. "Hi." Caboose waved. "Nice parka weather, huh?" "Hello." The pony said flatly. "I am Special Agent Sweetie Drops." "Agent, huh?" Caboose smiled. "Don't see many of them out here. What brings you?" "Just a routine survey." The pony declared. "Say, can I ask a favor?" "Sure, what is it?" Caboose asked. "I need some help with something." The pony declared, pulling out a baseball bat. "Does this look like a high quality bat to you?" "Beats me." Caboose shrugged. "I'm not into baseball." "Maybe you can help me test it." The pony suggested. "How?" Caboose asked. The agent struck him with the bat. "Yeow!" Caboose yelped, clutching his head, "What the buck?!" "Hmm, I'm not sure." The agent mused. "Let me try again." "No way!" Caboose yanked the bat away with his magic, and with a flick of his horn, the bat was sent flying away, possibly into orbit. "Fine." The agent shrugged. "The hard way it is." "What do you mean?" Caboose frowned. "Why are you doing this?" "I'm afraid I can't let you take that snowbeast." The agent declared. "I aim to set it free. And I'm prepared to use force if necessary." "Well, bring it." Caboose said confidently. "I'll show everypony who's the screw up..." Caboose threw a punch, but the pony dodged, and Caboose tumbled into a snow drift. "You sure showed me." The pony said mockingly. "Oh, that's it!" Caboose charged at the Agent, but the pony stepped aside, sticking out a leg to trip him, and Caboose tumbled into snow once more. "Had enough yet?" The agent taunted him. "Nopony makes a fool outta me!" Caboose yelled. He charged right at the agent, who flipped him over, and sent him head-first into a tree. "Oooh..." Caboose groaned. "Got any maple syrup, Mr. Tree?" He then lapsed into unconsciousness. "Well, that was easier than I thought." The agent snorted. The agent unlocked the cage. "You're free now. Go!" The snowbeast leapt out of the cage and ran off into the snow. "Mission accomplished." The agent declared, walking away. When Caboose came to, he was surrounded by Salt, Lars and Sonny, all glaring at him through their visors. "Oh... my head." Caboose clutched his head, as he glanced at his brothers, "Why are you all looking at me like that?" "Caboose..." Lars began, "Where is the snowbeast?" "Um, right there." Caboose rubbed his head as he got up and pointed to the obviously empty cage, "Right in that... empty... cage..." He drooped. "Oh boy..." "Oh boy?" Salt glared. "You giant nincompoop! I gave you one job!" He held up a hoof, "One buckin' job! I wasn't even gone for three minutes when I found you lying here with the cage open!" "But Salt, it wasn't my fault!" Caboose stammered. "Oh, so the snowbeast magically unlocked the cage's door and walked out?" Lars challenged. "Well... you see... it... it was..." Caboose murmured, as he then suddenly remembered. "It was that one guy's fault!" "What guy?" Sonny asked. "I don't know!" Caboose frowned, "All I know that he was some special agent named Sweetie Drops!" "Special agent?" Salt deadpanned, "Are you serious?" "Dead serious, Salt!" Caboose retorted. "The guy attacked me! I put up a good fight, but he had all these mad ninja skills, ninjitsu and chop socky! He knocked me clean out." "Okay, now I know you're making this up." Lars snarled. "For Faust's sake, brother, you could at least try and make up a believable story." "But it's true!" Caboose declared. "Why don't you just admit it?" Salt asked. "You screwed up! Yet again!" "I didn't, I swear!" Caboose insisted. "He was here!" "Well, we're the only ones out here, Caboose, so obviously he wasn't!" Lars growled. "But... but..." Caboose murmured. "Look, guys, lay off him. Whether he's telling the truth or not, we're still out a snowbeast." Sonny frowned, looking up at the falling snow. "All the tracks are already being covered up, so we can't follow it. And we can't stay out here any longer..." "Oh, Fisk is really not going to like this." Lars cringed. 'When Fisk found out they had lost their quarry, he wasn't happy...' "Look, sir, we are really sorry about what happened with the snowbeast and all..." Sonny began. "But come on, don't take it out on Caboose, he didn't mean to lose the beast!" Salt complained. The brothers returned to San Franciscolt, and the lavish penthouse of Fisk Filtcher. Fisk was a tan Earth Pony with a long blonde mane, gold eyes, and a Cutie Mark of a rainbow scarf. He had not been pleased to hear of the brothers' failure. Not one bit... "I'm telling you!" Caboose yelped, hanging upside down from the chandelier. "It was Agent Sweetie Drops!" "Again with the imaginary agent." Lars rolled his eyes. "Not that it matters." Salt sighed. "Either way, we returned empty-hoofed." "Yes, you did." Fisk growled, as his flunkies pointed crossbows at the brothers. "I have to say, I am very disappointed. I expected a little more professionalism when I called upon you guys." "That is true." Sonny nodded. "But let's not go overboard with the blame. We all make mistakes, right?" "But I'm telling the truth, guys!" Caboose complained. "Just stow it, Caboose..." Salt sighed. "I know this seems bad." Lars cringed. "But are you really going to kill us over this one mistake?" "Maybe..." Fisk smirked. "Or maybe you shouldn't." Sonny said nervously. "You know what? It's not that big a deal." Fisk declared with a shrug. "What's one lousy 'extremely rare' snowbeast? There's no reason we should let a little mishap ruin what could be a wonderful partnership." "Really?" Sonny smiled. "Yeah, sure." Fisk grinned. "Just one proviso, okay?" "Name it." Sonny nodded. "Go to bed with me." Fisk leered. "Um... what was that?" Sonny gulped. "I think I misheard you." "You. Go. To. Bed. With. Me." Fisk said slowly. "Hold on a sec..." Salt gasped. "You're..." Lars gaped. "Gay? Yes, I am." Fisk nodded. "I've always had a taste for stallions, and I'm not afraid to admit it. And I think Sonny here is pretty hot." "Him?!" Salt snorted. "Please. I'm the looker of the family!" "Not really the most important matter right now." Lars admonished him. "Well, Sonny does have a way with fire magic." Caboose shrugged, oblivious. "He can really heat things up." "I'm counting on that." Fisk smirked. "Whoa, back up there a minute." Sonny held up his hooves. "Mr. Filtcher, I'm flattered and all, but I'm not gay!" "So?" Fisk snorted. "Many ponies say that without actually testing it. And not to sound like a sicko, but it's either you and I pork, or I kill your idiot brother." The flunkies pointed their crossbows at Caboose, prompting him to gulp. "It's your choice, Sonny boy." Fisk smirked. "Aw, don't do it, man!" Salt yelled. "It ain't right!" "Come on, there must be another way!" Lars added. "What's the big deal?" Caboose asked. "It's just sleeping in the same bed together." "No, it's not, you idiot!" Salt yelled. "You don't have to do this, Sonny!" "I think you'll find he does." Fisk said hungrily. Sonny frowned deeply, but then took a deep breath. "...Okay, I'll do it." He nodded. "What?!" Salt and Lars yelped. "If it saves Caboose's flank, what else matters?" Sonny shrugged. "Let's go, Fisk." "Gladly." Fisk smiled triumphantly. "My bedroom's right this way. And please, call me 'Fab'." "Okay... Fab." Sonny cringed. "Take five, guys." Fisk told his flunkies. "Let the dimwit down, and make sure the others are comfortable. This won't take too long..." Fisk opened the door to his bedroom, and beckoned Sonny to follow him inside. Sonny gulped, then followed, closing the door behind him. 'Suffice to say, some 'things' went down in there. Sonny came out of there an hour later, and when asked if he was alright, all he did was demanded that none of them spoke of what happened there ever again. Since they were simultaneously glad to be alive and sorry for Sonny to have gone through that experience, none of them pressed the matter further. Sonny confided in me of the basic details, and asked me to make the same promise, I did. I remember thinking how horrible it must have felt for Sonny to betray his own sexuality like that, the poor guy.' 'To be clear, me and my family have no quarrels with colt-cuddlers or filly-foolers or however they call them nowadays. It's just the fact that Sonny was forced to do something like that that left a bad taste in all our mouths. Caboose, of course, felt the worst, especially after we explained to him what being 'gay' meant, and was beside himself with guilt. Fortunately, Sonny held no grudge towards him and over time, Sonny managed to recover from the ordeals. He would eventually meet and marry Bon-Bon, and start up their own restaurant over in Canterlot. They even got married, and settled down into a blissful life together. Things seemed perfect, but Sonny was about to face a blast from the past, one that shook up his life big-time, in a tale I call...' Chapter Twenty-One: The Straight And Narrow In the present day, Sonny and Bon-Bon were happily running their restaurant together. "Table six would like your sumptuous soufflé, honey." Bon-Bon told Sonny. "Coming right up." Sonny grinned. Business was certainly booming. Their restaurant had quickly become a 'hot spot' in Canterlot, frequented by some of the trendiest ponies in town, from Hoity Toity to Fancypants. Sonny and Bon-Bon loved their work, and their work was loved by all. At the end of another busy day, they were closing up. "Another great day." Sonny smiled. "It's always a great day with you." Bon-Bon nuzzled him. "I know." Sonny cuddled her. "I was thinking we could try that chocolate-covered eggplant recipe of yours tonight." Bon-Bon suggested. "I'm in the mood for something special." "Great idea, my sweet little candy." Sonny kissed her. "Beautiful and smart. How lucky am I?" "Flatterer." Bon-Bon nudged him. "Wait until I get you home..." "Why wait?" Sonny caressed her. "Let's close up fast." "You got it." Bon-Bon nibbled his ear. They went to work, double-time. While Sonny was cleaning up the tables, Bon-Bon was in the back, counting the day's take. As Sonny was moving a chair back into position, he heard the ring of the bell as the front door opened. "Sorry, we're clo-" He stopped in his tracks as he laid eyes on the visitor. It was Fisk Filcher. A little older, but still easily recognizable. "Gah!" Sonny nearly leapt out of his coat in horror, "Mr. Filtcher?!" "Hey, handsome." Fisk smirked. "Wh-wh-what are you doing here?" Sonny gaped. "What do you want?" "I heard some news about you and your restaurant on the grapevine." Fisk smiled. "Figured I'd come look you up. You know, for old time's sake. You're doing pretty well for yourself, aren't you? From what I've heard, you cook as well as you screw." "Fisk!" Sonny hissed as he slammed his hoof against his snout. "Don't say that out loud!" "Why?" Fisk asked, "I was only complimenting how good in bed you were." "Well, thanks for that." Sonny said flatly. "As great as it's been catching up, I should remind you that we're closed. Please leave." "Oh, is that all the thanks I get for a night you'd never forget?" Fisk pouted. "I couldn't forget it." Sonny scowled. "No matter how hard I tried..." "Hey, I know you enjoyed it." Fisk smirked. "...N-no, I didn't." Sonny stuttered, feeling a little flustered. "What, you think I can't tell when a partner is enjoying himself?" Fisk chuckled. "We were at it for an hour, remember? You must have thought it was pretty great to go that long." "I was just... living up to our agreement!" Sonny said angrily. "I thought you'd kill my baby brother if you didn't enjoy it!" "You can pretend all you like." Fisk sighed. "But I know what that night meant to the both of us." "Sonny?" Bon-Bon's voice called. "Is there somepony there?" "Nopony, honey!" Sonny yelled. "Just some tourist, looking for directions!" "'Honey', huh?" Fisk smiled. "So you got yourself a mare? Heheh, not really my type..." "Well, she's mine." Sonny declared. "Have you told her?" Fisk said mischievously. "About our special night?" "No!" Sonny growled. "And I'd prefer that that information stays between us." "Yeah, sure." Fisk shrugged. "Really?" Sonny frowned with concern. "Really." Fisk nodded. "I don't see what the big deal is. When you get right down to it, it's just two dudes mating. It's a beautiful thing. Nothing to be ashamed of." "For you, maybe." Sonny scowled. "But the love life I have with Bon-Bon is beautiful." "I'm sure it is." Fisk smiled. "That Bon-Bon's a lucky mare... It was nice seeing you again, Sonny." "Thank you." Sonny said curtly. "Now please leave." "Fair enough." Fisk shrugged. "If you ever want to talk about old times, give me a call." "I'll keep that in mind." Sonny lied through gritted teeth. "Bye!" Fisk waved, as he exited the restaurant. Sonny stood where he was, frazzled. Bon-Bon came in from the back. "Did you give him what he wanted?" She asked. "Oh, I did." Sonny groaned. "I sure did..." "How nice." Bon-Bon smiled, oblivious to Sonny's distress. "Now, let's go home. It's been a long, tiring day." "You have no idea..." Sonny cringed. That night, Sonny tossed and turned in bed. He was having a most unusual dream: Sonny was living in bed with Fisk, a plate of chocolate-covered aubergines on the bedside cabinet. "Just like old times, huh?" Fisk grinned. "But better." Sonny held a saucy grin that his waking self reserved only for Bon-Bon. He picked up one of the aubergines. "For you." Fisk opened his mouth, and Sonny fed him the aubergine. Fisk closed his mouth around Sonny's hoof, sucking the chocolate off it. "Mmm." Fisk smiled. "Guess you really are as good at cooking as you are at screwing." "Let's find out for sure..." Sonny purred. They moved in close to each other. Closer, and closer... "Gah!" Sonny bolted awake suddenly, his face covered in cold sweat. His regular bedmate sat up beside him. "Sonny?" Bon-Bon yawned. "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing." Sonny declared. "Just a bad dream. ...A really bad dream." "Okay." Bon-Bon lied back down with a tired smile. "Night." Sonny tried to get back to sleep, but feared another dream like the one he just had. He eventually managed to sleep, but the worry still ran through his mind. The next morning, Sonny rushed over to Lars' place, and explained everything. "So, let me get this straight. You saw Fisk yesterday, and then you dreamt about 'sleeping with him?'" Lars gasped. "Not only that, I dreamt I enjoyed it!" Sonny grimaced. "I mean, we were eating chocolate-covered eggplants! Eggplants, I tell you!" "Easy, Sonny." Lars soothed, "It's okay..." "Okay?" Sonny frowned. "I thought I was past this! It took me months to get over having to do 'things' with him! And now, he comes back into my life and now I am having sex dreams of him?!" "Now, I am sure there is a explanation for this." Lars declared. "Like what? What could this possibly mean?!" Sonny spat. "It's probably nothing!" Lars insisted. "Everypony has weird dreams now and then. Dreams about them doing stuff they'd never do in real life." "But it seemed so... vivid." Sonny shuddered. "I'm sure it was just a one-off, brought on by Fisk's visit." Lars said confidently. "You should just forget about it, and get on with your life." "Yeah, sure..." Sonny muttered, still not convinced. Over the next few days, Sonny tried to keep the dream out of his mind, instead focusing on Bon-Bon and the restaurant. However, one afternoon, on his way back from the bank... "It was probably nothing." He told himself. "I'm not gay. If I were, would I be so into Bon-Bon? It's obvious I'm straight!" As he walked by the park, he caught a glimpse of none other than Shine Paladin working out in the park. "What's he doing here?" He thought. "Eh, it's no business of mine. Gotta get home..." But as he made to continue on his way, he couldn't help but notice how the well-built Prince was bending and stretching out every part of him; His legs, wings, his neck, all in the name of keeping fit. For a brief moment, Sonny couldn't take his eyes off him, the former country horse putting his sweat-drenched body, toned by an early life of physical work, through its paces. At that point, Shine noticed him. "Oh, hey Sonny!" He waved. Instantly, Sonny snapped back to his senses, blinking and shaking his head. "I must have been in the sun too long." He frowned. As Sonny returned home, Bon-Bon was there to greet him. "Hey, honey." She smiled. "Hey." Sonny said awkwardly. "I've got a special treat for you... truffles!" Bon-Bon grinned. "Oh... yay!" Sonny said with fake joy. "How'd you get them?" "A friend owed me a favor." Bon-Bon shrugged. "Ready to give your taste buds a treat?" "...You know it." Sonny smiled weakly. The couple ate the truffles together, Sonny desperately trying to put the encounter with Shine out of his mind. But that night, he suffered another dream: This time, he was in bed with Shine, sharing a plate of truffles. "Ooh, this is good stuff." Shine smiled, chewing on one. "You certainly don't find these in Dodge Junction." "Careful now." Sonny told him. "Don't want to mess up that perfect bod of yours with something so fattening." "I'm not the only one with a perfect bod." Shine caressed Sonny's hoof. "Speaking of which, get that foxy figure over here." "As you command, your highness." Sonny chuckled snuggling up to him as Shine placed one of his giant wings over him. Once again, Sonny woke up suddenly. This time, Bon-Bon shifted slightly, but stayed asleep. 'Oy, another dream?' Sonny thought. 'And with Prince Shine this time? What is wrong with me?' Sonny mopped his brow. 'It's nothing.' He told himself. 'Just some weird dream. Like Lars said, it'll never happen in real life. Now just go to sleep....' Sonny struggled to sleep, but the fact that he had a second dream about being with a stallion was weighing on him heavily. But he continued to try and focus on his normal life, determined not to dwell on those unsettling dreams. And for well over week, he succeeded. But at a cost... One morning, as they woke up together, Bon-Bon rolled over to Sonny. "Hey, sweetie." She purred. "Ready for a little... early morning fun?" "Oh, I..." Sonny mumbled. Normally, he would quite enjoy the prospect, but any mention of sex caused him to remember his dreams. "I can't. I'm... still a little tired." "Well, I can help you wake up..." Bon-Bon stroked him amorously. "Sorry, but I can't." Sonny pushed her hooves away. "Not just now." "Oh... okay." Bon-Bon sighed, disappointed. Later that morning, after a trip to the grocery store, Sonny was walking down the streets once more. 'I'm not gay...' He thought. 'I wouldn't be so happy with Bon-Bon if I were...' However, during all of Sonny's thinking, he did not notice a shady looking unicorn darting behind him, as he past him, snabbing the bag of food that Sonny had bought. "Hey!" Sonny yelled. "Bring that back!" "Ya snooze, ya lose!" The Unicorn snorted, as he ran down the streets, letting out a laugh. Suddenly, the thief was tackled by a Royal Guard, who proceeded to knock him out and tied him up. "Whoa." Sonny gaped, in awe of the Guard's strength and efficiency. The Guard stood up, and carried the bag back to Sonny. It was none other than Fletcher Ulysses. "I believe this is yours, sir." He smiled. Sonny stared at him for a moment, the sunlight glancing off his armor. He had never seen the new Captain up close before. While he had heard a lot of things from his brother and all the adoration from Bon-Bon, both leaving a bad taste in his mouth, he couldn't deny that the captain certainly was an impressive specimen, even compared to Shine. "Oh, uh... thanks." He took the bag. "Happy to help." Fletcher declared with a small smile. "Say, aren't you one of Caboose's brothers?" "Um, yeah." Sonny nodded. "I'm Sonny." "The chef, right?" Fletcher declared. "Caboose told me about your culinary talents. Are you as good as he says?" "Probably." Sonny said humbly. "In fact, I was planning to make eclairs tonight. This bag actually contains all the ingredients." "Oh, I love éclairs." Fletcher admitted. "Especially the way the chocolate melts in your mouth..." The hungry look on Fletcher's face made Sonny feel... awkward. "Maybe I'll drop by for dessert sometime." Fletcher chuckled. "Yeah, maybe..." Sonny gulped. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a criminal to bring in." Fletcher declared. Sonny watched as Fletcher hauled up the thief's unconscious body, carrying him to jail. He couldn't help but notice the Captain's sinewy muscles, and the way he hauled his passenger with ease. It caused a shiver to run down his body. 'Wait, what was that?' He thought. 'Probably just a cold wind...' Sonny couldn't have been more wrong. That night, he had another dream, this time, involving him being in bed with Fletcher... This time, a plate of éclairs was the main dish. "Wow, these are good." Fletcher smiled. "And you made them yourself?" "It was the least I could do after you help me today." Sonny smiled adoringly. "That's my job." Fletcher smirked. "To protect and..." He eyed Sonny up and down. "...Serve." "Well, you can serve me right now..." Sonny chuckled. "Get to it, soldier." "Yes, sir." Fletcher grinned, embracing Sonny. Once again, Sonny snapped awake. 'Okay, once was weird, twice was unexpected, but three times?!' He thought. 'Why do I keep having these dreams? ...What if it's a sign that I'm... gay? No, I can't be. I like mares. I love Bon-Bon! But if I'm straight, then why am I having these dreams?' The worries running through Sonny's head began to consume him. The thought that he might actually be gay was becoming all-consuming. It took a heavy toll on his love life; His fears left him unable to enjoy the kisses, cuddles, and other romantic actions from Bon-Bon. One evening, while they lay on the couch, Bon-Bon tried to indulge in some cuddles... only for Sonny to push her away. "What's wrong?" She asked. "I thought you loved cuddle time." "Oh, I do." Sonny told her. "I'm just... not in the mood tonight, okay?" "Okay..." Bon-Bon frowned. She had noticed that Sonny hadn't been "in the mood" for a while. He had seemed distracted, and hesitant, barely reacting to her advances She was starting to worry that he was becoming bored with her. 'I've got to step up my game.' She thought. 'Before Sonny decides it's not worth it any more!' One afternoon, in preparation of Sonny's return, Bon-Bon lay on the couch, and coated herself with whipped cream and Belgyum chocolates, fully intending to seduce her husband. 'Sonny loves food, and he loves me.' She smirked. 'He won't be able to resist this!' As Bon-Bon lay there, there was a knock at the door. "Come in!" She purred, thinking Sonny had forgotten his key again. However, instead of Sonny, Lars and Lyra walked in. "Hey, Bon-whoa!" Lyra yelped. "What the-?!" Lars gaped, prompting Lyra to cover his eyes. "Oh, jeez!" Bon-Bon leapt up, her face burning red. She grabbed a nearby towel, wiping off the food. "Um... bad time?" Lyra cringed. "I hesitate to ask, but... what exactly was all that about?" Lars asked. "It was... for Sonny." Bon-Bon confessed. "Oh, I get it." Lyra grinned. "Surprise him with the old 'covered with food' trick? Nice. Sorry for ruining it." "That's okay." Bon-Bon sighed. "It probably wouldn't have worked anyway." "Oh, I don't know." Lars said, still a little flustered. "It worked for me..." "What are you talking about?" Lyra asked (while elbowing Lars). "Sonny... he's been so disinterested in me lately." Bon-Bon sniffed. "Every time I've tried to get close these past couple of weeks, he's pushed me away. I think... I think..." She started to cry. "I think he might be falling out of love with me!" "Don't talk like that." Lyra comforted her best friend. "Sonny adores you." "Lyra's right." Lars nodded. "I know my brother, and he'd never fall out of love with you. For crying out loud, he called dibs on you the moment we met you two." "Then what is it?" Bon-Bon demanded. "What could have happened to make me act like this?" "I... can't say." Lars frowned, not wanting to sell out his brother's fears. "Just hang in there." Lyra smiled. "I'm sure this is just temporary. Sonny'll be back to kissing and cuddling with you in no time." "I hope you're right..." Bon-Bon wiped her eyes. At one point, Sonny confided in Caboose about his problem, even bringing up the dream about Fletcher. His reaction was... not what Sonny expected. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Caboose laughed madly. "No way!" "It's not funny!" Sonny growled. "Sure it is!" Caboose snorted. "Even if you were gay for Fletcher, it wouldn't matter! The guy's so dense when it comes to romance, he makes me look observant!" "It's not the likelihood of the situation that bothers me." Sonny deadpanned. "Relax, bro." Caboose smirked. "They're just dreams. It's like leek soup. Sure, it's steamy, but it'll be gone soon enough." "Thanks for the advice, bro." Sonny sighed, as he made to leave. "It really helps. Though leek soup does sound good..." "Yep, that's me." Caboose declared "Mr advice. I'm like one of those radio therapists. Only not as ugly..." The following night, Sonny had the worst dream yet; He was in a hot tub filled with leek soup, joined by Fisk, Shine, and Fletcher. "Mmm, is it hot in here, or is it just me?" He asked. "Oh, it's definitely you." Shine grinned. "Hey, don't hog the hunk." Fletcher smirked. "Leave some for me." "Both of you get in line." Fisk snorted. "I say him first." "Easy, guys." Sonny chuckled. "There's enough of me to go around." "We'll just see about that." Shine smirked. "Fellas?" "I'm in." Fletcher nodded. "Try and stop me." Fisk licked his lips. One by one, they started nuzzling with Sonny, which led to make outs which led to... "Ahh!" Sonny woke up, nearly screaming his head off. Bon-Bon stirred fitfully in her sleep beside him. 'Okay... okay, that is it!' Sonny thought angrily. 'This has to stop! Before I go dreaming about having a big party full of hot du-' He slapped himself. 'No! Don't even think about it! This has to end!' The next morning, Sonny rushed over to Lars' place, leaving Bon-Bon alone. "Oh, Sonny." Bon-Bon sighed. "Where did it all go wrong?" As she somberly made herself some tea, Bon-Bon heard a knock at the door. She answered it to find Caboose, carrying a bag. "Hey, Bon-Bon." He smiled. "Where's Sonny?" "Out." Bon-Bon said flatly. "Don't ask me where." "Aw, that's too bad." Caboose frowned. "When he and I talked the other day, I went looking into my trunk of old clothes, and found this blast from the past." He pulled out a familiar parka from out of the bag. "What the..." Bon-Bon frowned, as she felt as she saw that outfit before. "Pretty neat, huh?" Caboose smiled. "That's quality crystal ewe wool. I wore this during one of our missions to the north, when we were hired to catch this one beast. What was it again? A frost... no, an ice..." "Snowbeast?" Bon-Bon finished, her eyes lighting up. "Yeah." Caboose nodded. "How did you-" "It was you." Bon-Bon frowned. "Me?" Caboose asked. "You're the stallion I clobbered to free the snowbeast." Bon-Bon declared. "What? How can that be?" Caboose frowned. "The only pony that clobbered me was-" Instantly, it clicked in Caboose's mind, as he loudly gasped. "Holy crap! You're Agent Sweetie Drops?!" "Once." Bon-Bon shrugged. "A long time ago... I swear, I had no idea it was you, Caboose..." "Nor did I." Caboose growled, "The others didn't believe me, but it was because of you that we failed that mission!" "I'm sorry about that, but I had to." Bon-Bon declared. "It was my job." "Job, schmob!" Caboose glared. "Because of you, Sonny had to take it up the butt from the guy we were working for!" "He... what?!" Bon-Bon gaped. "He had to... y'know, bump uglies." Caboose told her. "All this time, I thought it was my fault, but now-" "You can't be serious..." Bon-Bon gasped. "Sonny... actually slept with a guy?" "Don't believe me?" Caboose growled. "Go ask Lars. He was there. He'll tell you the whole thing." "You know what?" I think I will." Bon-Bon nodded. "Caboose, would you mind leaving? I have to prepare for something." "Yeah, sure." Caboose shrugged. "But we're not done talking about this!" He glared... before he give a small smile. "But do let Sonny know I dropped by!" After Caboose left, Bon-Bon raided an old trunk of her own, looking for some specific items... Over at Lars' house, Sonny told him of the dreams. Lars was quite disturbed, especially by the last one. "You all made out in a soup-filled hot tub?" Lars cringed. "Yes!" Sonny groaned. "You gotta help me, bro. I feel like I'm losing my mind!" "And I imagine this can't be doing your relationship with Bon-Bon any favors." Lars sighed, not wanting Sonny to know of their encounter. "It's not." Sonny sighed. "It tears me apart to push Bon-Bon away like that. But I'm afraid to let her near me! Especially if I figure out that the love we have is a sham and I am batting for the wrong team!" "Just try and calm down, bro." Lars urged. "Now, I've been thinking about this for a while, and from all the data I had gathered from your... dreams... I believe I might have a... rather drastic solution." "What is it?" Sonny asked. "I'll do anything! Anything to stop me from losing Bon-Bon!" "Well, all this started after Fisk came to visit you, correct?" Lars prodded. "Yeah..." Sonny said hesitantly. "Well, I believe the best way to fix things is to... sleep with him again." Lars suggested. "What?!" Sonny spluttered. "Are you serious?" "Dead serious." Lars nodded. "Look, this all started after Fisk showed up again. Seeing him brought back the memory of that night, which I believe is the true driving force behind your dreams. The only way to make things right is to just get it out of your system, once and all." "But I can't!" Sonny cringed. "Not again! What if Bon-Bon finds out? I'll lose her for sure!" "The way things are going, you're liable to lose her anyway." Lars pointed out. "As repugnant as it seems, sleeping with Fisk may be the only way to save your relationship." "Ah, jeez..." Sonny wrestled with the decision. "Okay, I'll do it. Give me your phone." "You got it." Lars passed the device over. Sonny quickly called up Fisk. "Hey... Fab, it's me." He whispered. "Sonny?" Fisk's voice trilled. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" "Listen, I don't want to beat around the bush." Sonny declared, as he struggled to swallow the bile. "I was thinking, and I was wonder if we could... get together, and relive... past experiences." "Seriously?" Fisk gasped. "You don't mean..." "Yes." Sonny sighed. "Alright!" Fisk whooped. "I'm in!" "Great..." Sonny cringed. "There's this hotel just outside of Canterlot. We can do it there. Tomorrow night." "You got it, tiger." Fisk purred, before hanging up. "Good luck, Sonny." Lars declared. "I'll keep my hooves crossed." "Something tells me I won't have the same luxury..." Sonny quipped darkly. "Look on the bright side." Lars assured. "If Bon-Bon does find out, she might find the idea of her husband sleeping with another stallion erotic. It is a mare's fantasy you know." "Somehow, I doubt she'll see it that way." Sonny sighed. "Well, if all goes smoothly, your problem will be solved, and she'll never know." Lars declared. "That's the plan." Sonny nodded. However, unbeknownst to Lars and Sonny, Bon-Bon had been listening in... using her former secret agent skills to hang outside the house, a high-powered microphone picking up everything. "So that's it, huh?" She snarled. "That stallion's gonna get it..." That night, at the Plowza hotel, Sonny, after inquiring at the front desk, went up to Fisk's room. "Well, hello handsome." Fisk smirked, laying on the bed in a saucy pose, a silk robe adorning his body. "Gotta say, I didn't think this would happen when I looked you up. Not that I'm complaining, though." "Look, this isn't what you think." Sonny said firmly. "I'm only doing this so I can prove to himself that I'm not gay and thus get back to life as usual." "Whatever happens, happens." Fisk shrugged, slipping off the robe. "Either way, we're in for a fun night. Now get those hot flanks over here!" Gingerly, Sonny joined Fisk on the bed. Fisk wrapped his hooves around Sonny's neck and planted a kiss on his lips. Sonny felt... nothing. "That's weird..." He frowned. "What is?" Fisk asked. "...Let's try that again." Sonny declared. "With pleasure." Fisk grinned. They kissed again, but Sonny still didn't feel a thing. "I don't get it." He frowned. "Why aren't I feeling anything? All those dreams can't have been for nothing..." "You dreamt about me?" Fisk smirked. "I'm flattered..." "You don't understand!" Sonny growled, "Ever since you came into town, I've been having these weird dreams about you and me doing it, me and Prince Shine doing, me and Fletcher, and all of us at once!" "Ooh... talk about branching out there, Sonny boy." Fisk mused playfully. "But why am I getting nothing now?" Sonny frowned. "If I am actually gay, I should have felt something!" "Speak for yourself." Fisk chuckled, "I am certainly enjoying it!" "...This was a mistake." Sonny realised. "I should go..." "Oh, no you don't." Fisk embraced. "You wanted to relive old times, and that's what we're gonna do..." Suddenly, the door was kicked open, and an angry-looking Bon-Bon bursts into the room. "Get away from my husband, you... carrot muncher!" Bon-Bon snarled. "What the buck?" Fisk frowned. "Bon-Bon?!" Sonny gasped. "How did you-what are you doing here?" "Saving our marriage!" Bon-Bon roared as she glared at Fisk. "Here's how it's going to go, buster! Either you back away from my Sonny right now, or I'm going to put the hurt locker on you!" "Whoa." Sonny gaped. He had never seen this side of Bon-Bon before. "So this is the little lady?" Fisk snorted. "Ya got a real keeper there, Sonny-boy." "You better believe it." Bon-Bon marched over. "You try to take my hubby? Think again! I didn't turn my back on my career just to have some low-level kingpin take my falafels!" "Your what?" Fisk frowned. "Look lady, Sonny called me. He wants me! It's not my fault he's not into you! If you want to be mad, be mad at him!" "Buck you!" Bon-Bon punched him, knocking him to the floor. "He's the sweetest stallion I've ever met! And I'll be bucked ten ways from Tuesday if I let some two-bit fancy boy take him from me!" "Yeowch!" Fisk nursed his wound. "Easy, lady! It was just a suggestion!" "Suggest this!" Bon-Bon roared, throwing another punch. "Not the face again!" Fisk cringed. Bon-Bon started pummelling Fisk mercilessly. The San Franciscoltian stallion was out cold in moments. "And for you..." Bon-Bon rounded on Sonny. "Bon-Bon, I'm sorry!" Sonny cringed. "I thought this was the only way to save our marriage! Please don't hit me!" "I know why you're here." Bon-Bon declared. "You do?" Sonny frowned. "How?" "Well, first Caboose blabbed about your first... run-in with fancy boy down there." Bon-Bon indicated the unconscious Fisk. "He what?!" Sonny growled. "Oh, that stupid... he's gonna get it..." "After that, I went over to Lars' and overheard you calling Fisk." Bon-Bon declared. "Oh, I'm so sorry." Sonny sighed. "I should never have done this..." "It's not this I'm angry about." Bon-Bon told him. "It isn't?" Sonny gaped. "Then what-" "I'm angry that you didn't tell me about this problem sooner." Bon-Bon tutted. "I'm your wife. I deserved to know." "You did." Sonny sighed. "I was just afraid that I really would turn out to be gay, and be forced to leave you. I never want to hurt you, babe, ever." "I know." Bon-Bon smiled. "If it helps, I didn't feel anything tonight." Sonny admitted. "I kissed Fisk right on the lips, twice, and didn't feel a thing." "Oh." Bon-Bon cringed a little. "...Good." "But you know something?" Sonny suddenly grinned. "Seeing you come in here, all bad-flank, and kicking Fisk's butt? It was really hot!" "You think so?" Bon-Bon blushed. "Totally." Sonny purred. "And you know what else? I want you. Right now. Right here on the bed." "Ooh, you know what would be better?" Bon-Bon suggested. "If we did it on fancy boy's back." "Ooh, kinky... I like it." Sonny chuckled saucily. "Then come and get it, big boy." Bon-Bon purred. "Yeah, I'm in the mood for something sweet..." Sonny grinned. The two laid down, Bon-Bon right on top of Fisk, and started kissing passionately, which of course led to more... intimate actions. "What the..." Fisk groaned, waking up in the middle of it. "Oh, eww, eww!" Sonny grabbed a nearby vase and hit Fisk on the head with it, knocking him out again. 'What a night that was. From what Sonny told me, he and Bon-Bon made love like never before. Sonny's near-miss lit a fire under them. One that lasted, as Lars and Lyra learnt when they visited a couple of weeks later...' Lars and Lyra were standing in the living room, watching happily as Sonny and Bon-Bon cuddled on the couch. "You're so gorgeous..." Sonny cooed. "And you're so sexy..." Bon Bon tickled his chin. "Not as sexy as you..." Sonny chuckled. "It's so nice that you two were able to work things out." Lyra smiled. "I won't lie, I had my doubts." Sonny admitted. "But it's safe to say that everything is A-OK. Hadn't had one dream about another stallion for two weeks now." "And our love life has been amazing!" Bon-Bon exclaimed proudly. "And we haven't just been going wild. We've also been taking it slow, just holding each other close, stroking and kissing..." "It's like our first few dates, all over again." Sonny sighed happily. "Still, I am puzzled." Lars frowned. "I mean, if those dreams Sonny had been having wasn't a product of his homosexual desires, then what was the deal?" "You know, I'm not sure." Sonny shrugged. "I mean, from what I can remember, it was always me sharing some food with a guy. And not in the simple 'friendly' kind of way." "Food?" Bon-Bon raised a brow. "Wait, Sonny, do you always dream of food?" "Not really." Sonny admitted. "I mean, when I had that dream of Fisk and the aubergines, I was planning on making aubergines that day..." Suddenly, something lit up in his brain. "...Then, with Shine, I was sharing truffles with him, and Bon-Bon and I talked about truffles that night..." "And when you talked about your dream with Fletcher and eclairs, you mentioned how Fletcher stopped a thief from taking the things you needed to make eclairs." Lars murmured. "And with the last one, you mentioned Caboose saying something about leek soup before having that dream..." "Oh my gosh..." Sonny let out a laugh, as he smiled. "I wasn't thinking about stallions... I was thinking of the food!" "Well, that's a relief." Bon-Bon chuckled. "...Though I am a little worried about you loving food more than me." She added jokingly. "Not a chance." Sonny kissed her. "You seeing Fisk again must had brought back those memories, and with your 'cravings', it must of had some sort of psychological effect on your dreams." Lars smirked. "Fascinating how the equine brain works." "Guess it's a happy ending for you guys after all, huh?" Lyra asked. "More than you think." Bon-Bon beamed. "Pardon?" Lars frowned. "Shall we tell them?" Sonny asked his wife. "Oh, yeah." Bon-Bon nodded. "Tell us what?" Lyra asked. "I went to the doctor yesterday, and... well, I'm pregnant!" Bon-Bon revealed. "You are?" Lars gasped. "Yep." Sonny said proudly. "I'm gonna be a dad!" "Congratulations, Sonny!" Lars beamed. "Eeeeee!" Lyra hugged her best friend. "I'm so happy for you! You're gonna make a great mom!" "I sure hope so." Bon-Bon smiled. "Lyra's right, honey." Sonny cuddled her. "You'll be the best mom ever." "And you'll be the best dad." Bon-Bon hugged him back. "Hey, Lars?" Lyra asked. "Yes, dear?" Lars replied. "This give you any ideas?" Lyra grinned. "Uhh... perhaps?" Lars blushed. "Maybe we should... get to work, if you know what I mean?" Lyra said saucily. "Luck's never been my thing, so we'll have to try an awful lot, if you catch my drift..." "I do." Lars chuckled. "Let's get to work." "See you guys later!" Lyra smiled, as she and Lars left. "Good luck!" Lars added. "I don't need luck." Sonny grinned. "Not after finding the hottest mare in the world." "Oh, Sonny." Bon-Bon melted. "C'mere, you..." The two embraced in another loving kiss. 'So, that was that. Sonny finally got over his sexual identity crisis, and his and Bon-Bon's sex life became better than ever. And now, the two are expecting a foal. If ever there was proof of Sonny's heterosexuality, it was putting a bun in Bon-Bon's oven. The two are more in love than ever, and I wish them all the best. As for Fisk, he went back to San Franciscolt, and settled down with a fellow named Rupert. So it truly was a happy ending for everypony. But none were more happy than Sonny and Bon-Bon. They had come through that trial with their love stronger than ever, and were ready to share that love with a foal. And that foal will be a lucky one, having two top chefs for parents. The little fella's gonna really look forward to mealtimes...'