//------------------------------// // Kakarot-to! // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Advisory: For best reading experience, change "Formatting" to "Dark" not "Light". Thank you. A/N: If I'm going to tick someone off no matter what I do, I might as well do it with flare. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 4 Episode 7 Who never asked for this? Several of you, probably. When fandoms scream their lungs out, it usually involves specific characters from whatever medium they enjoy. I bet the throat lozenge businesses are making millions... or maybe the various drink companies are mooching on that market. I don't know. Now please, people. I know you're going to be excited, but refrain from letting loose your voices. We at Death Battle cannot be held responsible for damage that you do to your own throats or the rest of your body. Enough with the suspense, inferior co-host! Who is fighting who today? The most passionately talked about Super Saiyan Goku will face off against... ... Princess Luna: everyone's favorite princess pony who breaks the stereotype of 'pretty being pink'. He's B and I'm W, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. So... you're just going to flat-out ignore the fact that I called you- Yes! ---Death Battle--- Son Goku -Birth name: Kakarot -Race: Saiyan -Possesses extreme levels of Ki and an expert at various martial arts -Ki-based attacks: Kamehameha (standard beam), Destructo Disk (energy saw blade), Solar Flare (blinding light), Energy Volley (smaller Ki bursts), Spirit Bomb (large orb that takes several minutes to charge) -Power increases: Kaioken (up to x20), Super Saiyan (up to four levels), Super Saiyan God (red hair on par with Beerus), Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan (blue hair on par with Golden Form Frieza) -Instant Transmission: Instantaneous teleport movement (requires a focused concentration to work) -Lacks intelligence and formal education -Prefers a fair fight, sometimes to a fault "That was great! So, what's for the next course?" Many anime shows, video games, and other forms of storytelling have been inspired by The Journey to the West. One of which is the worldwide phenomenon called Dragonball as its main character Son Goku is almost directly parallel to Son Wukong. However, the monkey and the reversed/re-spelled name are about where the similarities end. Akira Toriyama turned this tale into a... much better adventure that involved a lot of fighting and a lot of shouting. Kakarot, the son of a "brilliant scientist" escaped a dying planet and ended up on Earth. Ah, Superman rip-offs. Goku's Saiyan genetics were complementary to the various bouts of training he would undergo throughout his life. Whenever he was met with a challenge, he would train even harder, grow even stronger, move even faster, and burst through the limits to achieve the impossible. Except he never really applied that philosophy to school and driving. In any case, he can utilize his martial arts in just about any environment. The exceptions are airless environments such as deep space and underwater. Still, these are only minor hindrances when it comes to his most impressive techniques. His body can endure explosions strong enough to destroy a planet, and he can dish out just as much Ki energy to wear down his enemies. Among these Ki techniques are the blinding Solar Flare, energy bullets, the Super Dragon Fist, and of course... "Kame... ha... me... ha!" After the united strength of several Saiyans were added together, Goku can now access a strength beyond his Super Saiyan 4 form at will, dubbed Super Saiyan God. And by combining that strength on top of his own Super Saiyan power boost, he can make it blue... as well as make it a form with the most ridiculous name ever. A mouthful? Perhaps. But it does give him the strength needed to rival the strength of gods, and it's still uncertain as to what the limits of SSGSS really are. He can teleport, move fast, shoot lasers, fly, punch something really hard, and prefers strong opponents rather than ones that can't put up a fight. One of these days, I'm going to become a Super Saiyan, too. ... Yeah, cool story, Dr. B. Stick with your poultry science and frying. It suits you better. "That's funny. I've only been using like 80% myself." ---Death Battle--- Princess Luna -Species: Alicorn pony -Possesses a large quantity of magic -Magic abilities: Levitation, magic beams, lightning, reanimation, teleportation (implied), shape-shifting (Nightmare Moon form) -Also strong enough to crack the ground and fly -Can use spells outside of her repertoire within the space of a pony's dream; can traverse from one dream to another and can create shared dreams (with extreme focus and strain on her magic levels) -Capable of speaking at extremely loud volumes to emit the Royal Canterlot Voice -Extremely prone to feeling guilty and moping -Prefers to do things herself "Fun? What is this 'fun' thou speakest of?" Legend has it that the Princess of the Night ruled side-by-side with her elder sister, until hatred and negative emotions shrouded her completely, transforming her into Nightmare Moon. She lost her worthy status of the Elements of Harmony, and after her sister banished the Nightmare monster into the moon, so too did the remaining princess. Fast forward a thousand years, and you'll see the new Elements banding together and freeing her from that veil of darkness, returning her to her true colors... at least until the next season retcons that original look. Things were starting to look up for Luna. She gained a few guards reflecting the beauty of her night, became friends on one of the most ironic holidays of pony kind, and aided slumbering ponies by helping them overcome their fears through their dreams. But of course, it was too good to be true. For what seems to be at least a full year, Luna had created a parasite creature to punish herself with the same nightmare over and over, because she did not want to unleash Nightmare Moon's terror upon the world a second time. What she did not know was that feeding it her guilt would eventually strengthen it to the point where it could break into other ponies' dreams and potentially the waking world. Wait, if that's so powerful just by her making it that way, why didn't she just use that the first time she turned into Nightmare Moon? It would have made that whole 'eternal night' takeover thing a lot easier. She likely would not have had enough guilt to fuel it since the original fuel for Nightmare Moon was her emotion of jealousy, not guilt. Darn those 'technical' difficulties... and how did a speech from Twilight Sparkle about friendship save the day again? Can't someone just make her- A Starlight Glimmer clip says, "Quiet!" I was going to say, "Shut up," but that works, too. Anyway, Luna is a pony who prefers to do things on her own. Even when the task is more suited to a group dynamic, she constantly feels that she has something to prove, something to make up for. While her guilt may have stopped for that one night, emotions are a fickle thing and could potentially resurface the next time she takes the spotlight. Don't you mean when she takes the moonlight? Ah? Ah? *sighs* I understood that reference. "It seems I have still not learned my lesson. My creation is about to turn the world into a living nightmare!" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. It's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- An elliptical vessel is traveling through the vastness of space. Inside sleeps a man with spiky, black hair and weighted, orange pajamas. He hums a catchy tune as he sleeps. There's a bit of a rippling effect as the camera somehow gives us a visual of his dream. --- It's the complete joy of his life. His wife, son, and house are all intact. He is eating a lot of food and training to fight all at once. Just as he grabs the next bowl of ramen, however, images within the dream twist and turn. What used to be bowls of pasta are now flowing together into one, giant spaghetti monster. His son suddenly grows fangs and tries to maul him. However, this is nothing more than the Tantabus's undoing. Goku quickly catches sight of this darkness parasite. In an instant, he's right on top of the cloud. He punches it really, really hard. He then follow up by conjuring a massive disk of energy above his palm. "Kienzan!" The disk is launched forth and it slices and dices the Tantabus every which way possible, and some ways that are impossible. Nevertheless, it does the job and eliminates the darkness and its effects on his food and happiness dream. Soon after, a door opens up in the middle of the sky. A dark, armored equine flies in, searching frantically. Goku interprets the new intruder as another dark entity. He flies up and gives her a good punch. --- The Princess of the Night practically leaps out of her bed. She exhales heavily a few times before shaking the sweat off of her head. She doesn't have much time before the strange creature arrives. She slams the door open and flies out of her room. --- The spaceship slowly comes in for a landing. The nearby structures look very reflective of the sun shining upon them. A curious crystal pony or two casts their gaze upon the vehicle with the word "Capsule" printed on its side. When one of the sides of the vessel screeches open, the curious ponies become terrified and flee the scene entirely. They don't see the creature take a leap out the door and land just in front of the bottom of his ship's ramp. Huh, feels like it's four times normal Earth gravity here, he thinks. He then shakes his head. Wait, what am I thinking? I'm not good with numbers. He mentally chuckles at the idle thought. Suddenly, a pony very similar to the one in his dreams flies over and lands a few feet away from him. His shock that the creature is real quickly turns into giddy excitement. Regardless of a creature's form, he's always ready for a good fight. He's completely oblivious to whatever this pony is thinking of or what she's trying to protect. "FIGHT!" Goku quickly flies forward. Luna spreads her wings before taking a similar approach. Each of them displaces a lot of snow on the ground beneath them before fist collides with hoof. The impact's aftershock cracks one of the crystal spires nearby. Goku throws in a lot of punches and kicks at blindingly fast speeds. Each of which is joined by him shouting a random, gibberish syllable. Luna is sent head over hooves by the last punch in that series of jabs. However, a couple flaps of her wings straightens her out. Her horn twinkles as she disappears. She then proceeds to appear and disappear in various spots around her new enemy. Each appearance is marked with a strong hind leg kick. The expression on Goku's face shows just how much he feels each of her strikes. The Saiyan, however, quickly catches onto her pattern. He promptly grabs hold of her mane, in spite of its gaseous appearance. He pulls her into his Dragon Throw. He spins her right 'round, baby, right 'round, like a record baby, right 'round, 'round, 'round. Before she knows it, she's released and crashes through several crystal homes. He decides to have a little fun and tosses a multitude of energy blasts in her general direction. Though, the various different angles do nothing for his aim against Luna. Instead, he pretty much finishes the initial damage upon the Crystal Empire's various buildings. What doesn't shatter to pieces ends up falling to the ground in cracked and ruined remains. Luna rubs her head and groans. She slowly stands up at the base of the Crystal Palace. "Oh, there you are!" exclaims Goku upon flying in close. "Kaio-ken!" "Kaio-what?" asks Luna. She gets slammed by a red aura-covered Saiyan. All of the rattling is enough to blow up the base of the palace and bring the entire structure down for a fatal crash. It seems the Crystal Empire's return to Equestria proper is a short-lived one. Luna twinkles back into the camera's view somewhere in the sky. She grunts. "I need more time... for something... anything." The pony princess flies off into the distance. Meanwhile, the Saiyan holds a determined expression as he lifts two fingers to his forehead. As Luna continues her flight, the wintry desert below changes to one stuck in the summer sun. All of a sudden, the enemy is floating right in front of her. She lets out a yelp just before he punches her down. His power quickly turns Dodge City into Dodge Crater. This time, Luna struggles a bit more as she stands up. "So, uh... you want to try this again later after you've grown a bit stronger?" asks Goku as he floats just a little above the ground. "I mean no offense, but this is starting to get a little boring." Her eyes glow white. She scowls. "This game of yours is over!" More cracks appear in the ground underneath her as she's surrounded in a bright white light. Her shape seems to grow a few inches in various places. The light eventually fades to reveal a much more sinister figure: Nightmare Moon. Goku's look of excitement returns. "Wow! You've got a super form? I've got one of those, too." The air shakes around him. Bits and pieces of the ground rise up and crumble into dust. His very energy rises into a glorious red hue. This redness is matched by his hair and his eyes. He is showing us all his Super Saiyan God form. Nightmare Moon growls and fires a beam of bluish magic. Goku hollers as he leaps out of the way. He fires another round of energy bullets. She loops around and dodges the blasts. This is followed up by them using their respective teleport/transmission abilities to try and out-kick each other. This exchange of high speed attacks eventually leads them to fly over yet another town. "This ends now!" shouts Nightmare Moon as she charges up a large portion of her remaining magic into her horn. "Aw, and it was just getting fun again." Goku sighs as he puts his hands together. "Ka... me... ha... me... ha!" His trademark attack flies forth in a brilliant, bluish-white light. Nightmare Moon sends back her own blast, filled with shadows and lightning. She struggles against the incoming power pushing against her, but her magic seems to be cutting a hole down the middle of the Ki and causing pain to Goku as well. A few houses down below are catching on fire due to the sheer power struggle going on. Goku grunts. "Kaio-ken..." Nightmare Moon falters slightly. "You're kidding." "... times..." "You're kidding, right?" "... TWENTY!" The Kamehameha becomes so wide and big that it's energy eclipses any magic that's being tossed against it. "Noooooooooooo!" The Super Saiyan God's attack completely removes Luna from sight. Not only that, the attack seems to run straight through the rest of Ponyville. It even cracks open and tears apart the town's new castle... like an overpriced set of plastic. The star on top floats by the camera a second longer before crumbling to pieces. Now that he has had his fun, Goku pulls out a Sensu Bean to stave off his exhaustion. "K.O.!" ---Death Battle--- Oh, man. Here comes the rage from all of the New Lunar Republic fanboys! Goku's power is ridiculously over-the-top. He wields in his hands the power to destroy entire continents and best the enemies that underestimate him. Luna may have the magic necessary to catch a distraught sister off guard, but it overall pales in comparison to what the Super Saiyan God is capable of. I mean doing a bunch of awesome *ess* inside of a dream is fun to watch, but almost none of her dream abilities translate into real-world powers. The ones that are shared with her real self don't quite stack up to Goku's feats. Besides, there's a big difference between the core of their character. Luna is still struggling with bouts of guilt over her past. The writers seem to place her in a miserable, self-punishing state every time she takes the spotlight. Even though she may have overcome her Tantabus for now, there's no saying that she won't relive that feeling some day in the near future. On the other hand, Goku's path is not one covered with his past sins. It is a path to better himself and hone his skills as a fighter. So what happens when you pit a man who trains to overcome any limit against someone who will forever bind herself for fear of what she has become? Well, only one has a pure heart that isn't shackled at all. Luna was just eclipsed by the Son. The winner is Son Goku. ---Death Battle--- But wait! There's more! The title card's gates prematurely open again. In the sky above the ruins of what was once Ponyville, a distant light twinkles from the mountainside before showing up just behind Goku. The Super Saiyan God turns around at the new energy that he senses. "I'm in a world made of plastic... always taking care not to melt something... to burn some pony. What you've done is made a terrible mistake. My best student is dead because of you... and my sister is dead because of you. By destroying the homes and lives of everypony I love and care about..." The newcomer's eyes glow white against a furious brow. "I don't have anything left to lose if I show you all of my power!" Goku chuckles. "Then I guess it's time for me to do the same." He clenches his fists tightly as his Ki burns around him even brighter than before. The red hot fire in the air turns a bright bluish-white. The Saiyan's hair reflects his new power as the Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan floats in place. There's either a crap-ton of static electricity crackling all over the place, or the very presence of two powerhouses is creating a lightning storm in the sky. "I'm-a deck a second shnozz today." Goku lifts his hands to the air. Even though Equestria is in a battered state, the planet's Ki starts flowing to a single point high above him. Meanwhile, Celestia's horn is glowing brightly. Up much further in the sky, the sun seems to be glowing brighter. It almost looks like it's getting bigger. Wait... no... it can't be... but it is! Celestia is pulling the sun itself toward the battlefield! Are you nuts?! Tides are bubbling and boiling along the ground below as the intense gravity and temperature grow. It's enough to set some of the water on fire! "Come on... come on," Goku mutters as his energy orb gathers in size and strength. "Yes!" He waves both of his hands down. "Taste my Spirit Bomb!" The orb of bluish-white light hurls forth at a crawling pace. Celestia backs up a little by flapping her wings at an opposite rotation. However, it is not in fear of the incoming Saiyan's attack. Instead, she is making way for a much larger orb of yellowish-white light, one that holds true to her cutie mark. If the Spirit Bomb is about the size of East Texas, then this sun looks large enough to contain all of North America... and then some. When the two spheres collide, Celestia's orb is all that remains after it practically swallows up the Spirit Bomb. "Kaio-crap!" exclaims Goku as he puts his hands together. "Ka...me...ha...me..." The princess jerks her head back a little. Goku notices this and let's out a questioning hum. This is barely a second before the moon comes crashing into his back. It practically rams him all the way up against the sun and all of its direct radiation. "Ha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Though he screams, his trademark Ki-based attack doesn't appear this time. Rather, his whole body catches fire before ripping apart into a gust of disintegrated ashes. Celestia exhales. The sun and moon slowly float back to their proper places in the day sky. However, the damage is already done. There's a huge crater of boiled water sitting underneath her aerial position. There are even some dead fish bones floating to the surface. Her eyes stop glowing as she closes them... in emptiness. "Choke Detected!" ---Death Battle--- Whoa! Where the heck was she keeping all of that? And since when did we let you guys cut into our segments? Well, we can still work with this. Princess Celestia has an immense source of magical power to back her up. What required the work of several unicorns, Celestia can move the sun and moon all by herself. Plus, she had to guide their paths through the day-night cycle for one thousand years. There is no pony or man alive that can possibly comprehend the scope of energy needed to sustain themselves for that long, on top of having any other matters to attend to, skirmishes to squash, needs to be met, etc. And before you get on your high horse for the other two co-hosts making Luna lose beforehand, need we remind you that she is the younger of two sisters who was MIA for those thousand years? That's a rather large gap in experience. While Luna seems to take the more relatable path to guilt, Celestia represents an ideal... a shining example approaching perfection that others strive to be. Much like Superman, Celestia's goal is not to be the greatest fighter ever, but a struggle to live amongst other ponies as one of them. The only ones who have managed to surpass her power were the ones who hailed from other planes of reality or had stolen a lot of outside magic first. If she were to release all of her power against every enemy that ever rose up, it would rob her subjects the chance to learn and grow. Not to mention, she'd end up blowing up everything she wanted to protect in the first place which is counterproductive against the ideal, benevolent ruler. So what happens when you pit a man who breaks through his limits against someone who has no limits beyond what is morally right? Well, I'm afraid one of them still has to break those limits just to achieve any chance at all. Hey! You totally stole that line! Goku may be the better character, but Celestia has the bigger balls. The winner is Princess Celestia. ---Death Battle--- ---