//------------------------------// // Chapter 15: Tricking Trixie // Story: Po-Ni-Oh! The Abridged Series // by Shadowmane PX-41 //------------------------------// HORSE PLAY Episode XV Tricking Trixie After an intense duel on the ramparts of Steven Magnet's castle (Which totally isn't where he's masturbating to other duelists playing his game), Twilight Sparkle surrendered the duel because she knew that Trixie was integral to the plotline of the rest of the story. Trixie, confused by Twilight's surrender, awkwardly walked away and entered Steven Magnet's castle to try and claim back Fuchsia Blush and Lavender Lace from his clutches. Unaware to Trixie, she is about to wander into a trap that could ultimately cost her her intelligence as well. Meanwhile, the infamous Bandit Rover managed to earn ten Star Chips and awaits the day of the finals brackets. He ditched Spot, Fido, and Sombra and stole their chips to claim all of the money for himself. As Twilight Sparkle is given time to assess the rest of the plot, she makes some surprising discoveries. She now knows that the rebel ponies from The Cutie Map will be a part of the Seal of Orichalcos Saga, and that Starlight Glimmer will be Dartz. However, she couldn't have forseen this... Also, sod the intro sequence in this episode, this is the best I could come up with on such short notice... "So let me get this straight, Twilight..." Rainbow Dash was still trying to process what Twilight had told her after surrendering the duel to Trixie. "According to what Shadowmane PX-41 has planned, Double Diamond is Raphael, Party Favour is Alistair, and Night Glider is Valon?" "Apparently," Twilight said. "I honestly don't know what drove him to make that decision. I mean, what about poor Sugarbelle? Doesn't she get some role in Season 4 of Po-Ni-Oh?" "If she doesn't, a lot of her fans are going to lash out at the author and give him nothing but flak until they don't care anymore..." Pinkie Pie spoke up from the background. "By the way, everyone, Gilda's here." Applejack said as she pointed towards Gilda. "Hey, girls," Gilda brushed her hair as she addressed herself. "I heard that Twilight lost a duel to Trixie..." "Well, not exactly that, Gilda," Twilight explained. "I forfeited because I knew she was important to the rest of the story. If she lost, then there wouldn't be any BOTB City tournament, no Equestrian God Cards, and no sexy-ass Po-Ni-Oh Marik either..." "But even so, that's deep, Twilight," Gilda felt sorry for Twilight. "I haven't been that sad since they stopped making movies for me to bash on and complain about... Damn you, Marvel Studios..." "You know, I've been reading this script for some reason," Pinkie Pie looked at the script for this chapter. "And it says that I'm supposed to duel Gilda here, even though I have absolutely no experience in Duel Ponies and am nothing more than a bargaining chip for an upcoming Twilight V.S Rainbow Dash duel in the BOTB City tournament..." "Yeah, about that..." Twilight ran over to the script and cut out the duel between Gilda and Pinkie Pie completely. "That's one of the parts that Little Kuriboh must have been totally stoned when he wrote the original thing..." "So, we've lost a good quarter of this chapter already, what's next?" Cadence asked as the group approached the doors of the castle. "Oh, there's this scene where Trixie duels Steven Magnet in an attempt to get back Fuchsia and Lavender because he apparently knew that I surrendered," Twilight looked at what remained of the script. "Apparently, his Left Eye of Darkness makes him a Mary Stu until I challenge him in a duel that's so long and so intense that it takes up five whole episodes if it were made a real thing... "Though, I guess that if would happen with Amelia and Starlight Glimmer as well in the upcoming seasons if they were made into lengthy animations," Twilight was given some time to think about the future. "Or maybe as animations that would last over an hour..." "But let's be real here, who really wants to animate five-part episodes when Twilight battles Steven Magnet, Yami-Adagio, and Starlight Glimmer?" Rainbow Dash asked. [Yeah, you'd have to be really dumb, lazy, or out of your mind to animate that sort of thing...] "Well, this is it, Steven Magnet's castle," Gilda put her ten Star Chips into the padlock ring around the centre of the door then twisted it. The gears grinded and sprung into life, opening the doors wide for Twilight and her friends to enter. "Once we step forward, there's no turning back, even though in here, the rules are still as broken as ever..." "I just can't wait to get to BOTB City. That's when they balance out high-damage monsters with the Tribute rule," Twilight explained. "In the future seasons, we'll need to sacrifice one monster to summon a Level 5 or 6 monster, and then two monsters for a Level 7 or higher monster. And I don't know about you, but I think Trixie's going to be pissed off at that rule..." "Hold on, little ladies!" Bulk Biceps ran in front of Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Cadence. "This club's specifically for duelists only. No scrubs allowed!" "Oh, come on, Bulk," Pinkie Pie spoke pleadingly. "We went through this exact same rule back at the border patrol gates in Chapter 4. Can't you look in your heart to add spectators for this part of the tournament?" "No! Mr. Magnet's tripling his security this time!" Bulk shouted. "Bandit Rover is planning to assassinate Magnet because he pissed him off at the Duel Ponies Expo two years ago! He wants no civilians allowed. Only duelists!" "Well then, you can't say I didn't try..." Pinkie Pie reached into her hair and pulled out a stun gun. She then pointed it at Bulk, then squeezed the trigger, watching flail and shake wildly as he was electrocuted by the high voltage. "Pinkie Pie always comes prepared, Bulk. Try reading a book instead of flexing your pecs..." "Did you just kill someone, Pinkie Pie...?" Twilight was horrified at what she had just witnessed. "No, silly. Just hurt him a little, he'll be fine..." Pinkie Pie smiled as the group walked inside and shut the doors behind Bulk. "In the British dictionary, 'Electrocution' also means to injure someone with an electric shock. Unlike America, who always believe that electrocuting someone means killing them..." "In America!" Rover shouted to himself as he peered over the balcony and looked at an arena. "I always wanted to say that..." "Hey you!" Rainbow Dash called Rover out as she and him locked gazes. "Bandit Rover. The Master of Mines, the Demon of Diamond Digging, and the King of Cartels... I'm gonna kick your canine butt straight back to the doghouse, then maybe later I'll rip out some of your bones and give them to you for you to bury in the prison yard!" "Save it for the ring, pipsqueak," Rover shrugged Rainbow Dash off and saw Steven Magnet and Trixie appear on the sides of the arena with their decks ready for a duel. "And on that note, save it for another day. It's time for the good part of this episode; the one where we get to see Steven Magnet's deck in action so that we can find a way to counter it when one of us faces him in the Title Match..." "Well, Magnet, I upheld my side of the bargain and defeated Twilight in a duel," Trixie calmly crossed her arms. "Now release the souls of Fuchsia and Lavender!" "Nuh uh uh, you didn't say the magic word..." Steven Magnet waved his finger gaily. "And besides, you know you can't fool a future-telling villain now, can you, Trixie-girl?" "You mean that—" "I know what happened, Trixie Lulamoon of Lulamoon Inc. You threatened to kill yourself, forcing Twilight to surrender because you knew that MLP characters don't kill," Steven explained. "And you think that a surrender counts as an actual defeat?" "For the moment, I kinda did..." Trixie smiled. "Well, it doesn't, Trixie-girl. And you know what? I'm actually quite furious that Twilight is still undefeated fair and square..." Steven's voice got louder. "So to take out my rage, I'm going to put you in the ultimate duel. One where I already know your deck, every move you'll use, and will be able to counter every single move you make with merely a thought. Then I'll watch High School Musical and Equestria Girls 1 to calm myself down and regain my cheerful composure..." "Even though I know there's going to be no chance in success, I'm still going to challenge you anyway," Trixie declared as she drew her first hand from her deck. "At least I'll get a T-shirt that says 'I Dueled Steven Magnet' from this..." "And now I play the magical Equestria World!" Steven said with a spring in his step as a book opened up, revealing a crude pop-up rendition of Ponyville and Canterlot. "This allows me to take these drab Equestria Girls models we're all using, and give these fans some actual ponies for once. Starting with you, The Great and Powerful Toon Trixie!" In seconds, a cartoon horse version of Trixie with dimples and large cheeks appeared. It used her horn to create harmless magic and bring flowers to the ground it walked on. It whinnied, then giggled as it's position on Magnet's field. "You took the most beloved MLP character and turned her into a five-year-old look alike..." Trixie was stunned at what she was seeing. A small pony version of herself was fighting on Steven Magnet's side of the field. "You have issues, Magnet. But then again, all gay people do..." "Are you saying that I'm gay, Trixie-girl?" Steven was caught off-guard. "I'll have you know that the term is homosexual, and that people like me are not freaks. We're just a little, what's the word? Misunderstood?" "No. I'm pretty sure gays and lesbians are total freaks who don't even deserve to live," Trixie spoke with a huff. "And speaking of not living, I'm gonna cream that cute little faker with my Star-Eyes Ursa Minor!" "Yep. Really glad that BOTB City's coming after I beat Magnet..." Twilight sighed as she watched the duel continue. "Now it's time to see who's the real magician here. Me, or the cartoon horse that's much too young to be me!" Trixie declared as her monster was about to make an attack. "And let me tell you right now, it's not the Trixie that's not me! Star-Eyes! Swallow that horse whole and terrify every little boy and girl everywhere!" The Ursa-Minor charged in on Toon Trixie, bearing it's fangs for a fatal bite. It was about to strike it's mark, when it saw the cuter version of Trixie suddenly conjure a lightbulb above her head. Seconds before the teeth could impale Toon Trixie, it leapt onto the head of the beast and pretended that it was an ice-skater. "Sorry, Trixie-girl, but you know toons these days," Steven chuckled as Toon Trixie giggled and performed tricks on the back of the Ursa-Minor. "They're just like children. If they're not kept under control, who knows what could happen?" "I'm gonna rip that horse into thousands of tiny little red pieces and sell each individual part of it on Ebay!" Trixie shouted as the Ursa-Minor tried it's best to strike at the toon, but with no avail. "Just hit it! It's a tiny cartoon horse! How hard is it to hurt or kill a cartoon horse?!" "Pretty hard..." Twilight said from the balcony. "The way your monster's attacking, it's got more chance of attacking Sweet Apple Acres and leaving Miss Pariah here homeless..." "Shut up, Twilight!" Applejack and Trixie said together as the attack continued. "Toon Trixie, let's give this Ursa-Minor a real show, shall we?" Steven chuckled, prompting Toon Trixie to jump off of the Ursa-Minor and prepare a counterattack. Toon Trixie giggled and laughed as it charged up a magical spell, and she had already enveloped Regular Trixie's monster in a veil of light blue magic. "Destroy Trixie's monster with child-friendly un-aliving spell!" Toon Trixie fired a bolt of energy at Trixie's Ursa-Minor, causing it to groan and howl in agony as it started to crack up. The bolt intensified, shattering the beast completely and striking Trixie directly in the heart. "No..." Trixie teared up as her Life Points hit zero. "Fuchsia... Lavender... I failed you..." "Yes, you did, Trixie-girl," Steven's Left Eye of Darkness glowed violently. "Let this be a lesson to you, Trixie Lulamoon. If you want something done right, you actually have to defeat your problems instead of intimidating and forcing them to withdraw..." Trixie clutched her chest as she felt something being ripped out of her body. She glowed a shade of crimson, screaming as she was suffering the same fate that had befallen her two sisters. Writhing in pain, she eventually lost control of her body and flopped her arms down, yet still being able to stand on her own two legs. Steven Magnet chuckled evilly as a doll version of Trixie appeared in his hands, complete with the hat and wizard's coat she wore. As he petted the hairs, he watched as Trixie stared off blankly into space. "Now, now, Trixie-girl, I did you a favour by removing your soul and putting it in this dolly," Steven said as two of his security forces put Trixie on her hands and knees. "Now you don't have to worry about thinking of anything. All those big, scary, grown-up thoughts about being Twilight's rival are long gone, and you can be as childish as Toon Trixie now... "Stuart? Neil? Escort Trixie to the nursery please," Steven instructed his men, watching as they picked Trixie up and draped her across their shoulders. "And while you're at it, have Jonathon, Joe, James, and Joanna bring Fuchsia and Lavender across as well. She needs some friends, after all..." "Well, that was confusing..." Twilight watched as the two duelists were quickly escorted away from the field. "I haven't seen such a bad plot twist in years..." "Well, it could be worse," Rainbow Dash smiled smugly. "At least it wasn't directed by Michael Bay..." "Yeah, then it'd be an abomination of mankind..." Twilight agreed. You said it, Twilight... Yami-Twilight appeared next to her. PO-NI-OH! THE ABRIDGED SERIES [In the british dictionary, we spell color and armor with 'U's, making them 'colour' and 'armour'.] [Oh, and can we all agree that Steven Magnet is the perfect Po-Ni-Oh! version of Maximillion Pegasus at this point?]