//------------------------------// // The Empire At Last // Story: Living in Equestria // by Blazewing //------------------------------// I think it’s a pretty well-established fact that when nice people get angry, it’s one of the scariest things imaginable. That was how it felt at that moment, seeing Cornelius giving Lightwing the mother of all stink-eyes. Lightwing, however, did not look intimidated, and settled back on his hooves. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you, sir,” he said. “If you wish, we’ll take this somewhere else so you can get back to your nap.” Wow. It was strange how he could go from aggressive and accusing one second to civil and cordial the next. “Do you have any idea who you’re threatening, you impertinent colt?” Cornelius asked. “Yes, I do, but don’t worry. I have him where I want him,” replied Lightwing. “He’s a dangerous criminal seeking to destabilize the Equestrian way of life!” “This here is Councilstallion David,” Cornelius went on, icily, “a member of the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council, employed by the princesses themselves.” Lightwing blinked. For once, he didn’t look so smug and superior. “Is he?” he asked. “Well, that’s-” “I have personally reviewed several of his essays dealing with significant events in Equestria’s past,” Cornelius went on, “and found them to both be concise and considerate for the subject. Does that sound like the sort of pony who would try to take over Equestria and enslave us all?” “Well, no,” conceded Lightwing, clearly losing his steam. “But-” “I don’t know what science-fiction book you’ve been reading, but you are going to have to learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality,” Cornelius said, with amazing composure, while keeping his gaze firmly and sternly locked with Lightwing’s. “Princess Celestia trusts this stallion, and that should be good enough for anypony. If it still somehow isn’t satisfactory for you, we can take you to the courts and have the Princesses themselves vouch for him.” Lightwing looked taken aback. The haughty, smug, superior attitude he had been wearing while grilling me was long gone. He looked from Cornelius to me, then back again, then drew in a deep breath, obviously trying to maintain his composure. “This isn’t the end of it,” he told me, stiffly. “I still intend to keep my eye on you. One false step, and you’re mine.” And with that, he turned around and went off to take another car, the note tucked back under his wing. Cornelius stood there, calm and impassive, though still glaring after Lightwing. I, for my part, was full of awe and gratitude. “Cornelius…” I muttered. “I...thanks.” “Don’t mention it, David,” said Cornelius, in a mollified tone. “You’re a good boy. I couldn’t sit there and let you be abused like that. The nerve of that young scoundrel!” He settled back down to go back to sleep, but I still felt troubled. That pegasus accused me of writing that letter, for having disdain and disgust for the way Equestria was run, for seeking to take it over. How could he think I would be like that? I was still baffled by the fact that a television show based on Equestria’s life, specifically Twilight and her friends, existed. If I’d ever seen anything like that, I would definitely have remembered. The whole thing was ridiculous. The missing page from my notebook must have been something else. I don’t know who wrote that letter, but I would rather dive face-first into a patch of poison joke than overthrow the Princesses. Comforted by this, I finally drifted back off to sleep as the train rolled on. *** I was deep in a dream full of pieces of torn paper flying around me like a swarm of aggressive birds, when I was shaken awake by a hoof on my shoulder. With a snort, I sat up, readjusting my skewed glasses. “What time is it?” I asked. “Just after 1,” said Cornelius. “The food trolley came by, so I got you this, in case you were hungry when you woke up.” He handed me a bagel. “Thanks,” I said, taking a bite out of it. “Are we there yet?” “Nearly. You should take a look.” I looked out the window, swallowed hard, and felt my jaw fall open. The plains around us were still covered in snow, but up ahead, there was no snow at all. A hilly, grassy valley stretched out before us. Sticking out of the ground like stalagmites were great spires of red, blue, and purple crystal. Standing tall amongst a midst of these was an enormous, blue tower-like building, reminding me of the Eiffel Tower. Even from this distance, the whole area seemed to be effused with a crystalline glow. “Sparklerrific indeed,” was all I could muster. “What’s that?” Cornelius asked. “Er, just a word a friend told me,” I said, shaking my head to regain my focus. “I’ve never seen anyplace like it.” “Neither have I,” said the old donkey. “And I’ve seen many things in my travels.” The train finally pulled to a stop at a station about half a mile from the Empire. Cornelius and I got up and followed the few ponies stepping out, my bagel long finished. Lightwing was nowhere to be seen. Thank goodness. As the two of us got closer (Cornelius was surprisingly quick-hoofed for an old donkey), the crystals sticking out of the ground seemed to get shinier and shinier. Two red ones stood as a kind of gate, with three diamond-shaped gems floating between the tips. A path wound its way from them straight to the Empire itself, so that was what we followed. Finally, we came within the boundaries themselves. Every building seemed to be made of crystal, and even the streets seemed to have a glass-like sheen. But what was most striking of all were the ponies. They all looked like Earth ponies, but their coats gleamed like polished gemstones, so that they all seemed to glow, and, unless my eyes were mistaken, they were semi-transparent as well. So these were the Crystal Ponies. “Magnificent,” breathed Cornelius, looking about. “Simply magnificent!” Soon enough, we found ourselves heading toward the blue tower-like building, which I now saw must be the castle of the Empire. Doors leading into it were made in the ‘legs’ of it. What looked like a snowflake formed an emblem just beneath it. Above this, floating between two vertical spikes, one of which extended from the castle’s underside and the other from the ground, was a blue, heart-shaped gem. If the naming of things continued to follow the same pattern, that must be the Crystal Heart. “Welcome, Dave, Cornelius!” I looked up. A pony was galloping right towards us. I soon recognized her as Cadence as she came to a halt right in front of us, beaming. “It’s so good to see you again!” she said. “It’s good to see you too, Cadence,” I said, bowing just to be safe. Cornelius bowed as low as his old legs would allow. “Your servant, princess,” he said, humbly. Cadence smiled, if possible, even wider. From behind her, I could see three more ponies approaching. Two were Princess Luna and Minister Ironmane (Celestia was nowhere to be seen), and the third was a unicorn stallion who I assumed was Twilight’s brother and Cadence’s husband, Shining Armor. He was a tall, strongly-built stallion, almost as big as Big Macintosh. His coat was pure white, with a mane and tail striped with two different shades of blue, and even his eyes were blue. His cutie mark resembled a shield with what looked like the same six-pointed star in Twilight’s mark in the middle. He had a genial, benevolent face, the kind you’d like to see in a good friend. “Princess Luna, where’s Princess Celestia?” I asked. “She decided to remain in Canterlot to watch the castle,” said Luna. “She has handled the duties of two princesses before, after all.” “Oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense.” I bowed to Luna, but wasn’t sure how to show the correct amount of respect to Shining Armor, as he was a prince and Captain of the Royal Guard. So first, I bowed to him, saying ‘Your Highness’, and then saluted, saying ‘Captain’. However, he merely chuckled. “No need to be so formal,” he said, in a very mellow voice that wasn’t quite like a surfer-dude, but pretty close. “Just Shining Armor is fine. And you’re Dave, I take it? Twilie’s told me a lot about you.” ‘Twilie’? Was that seriously his nickname for her? That...that was just adorable. “Has she?” I asked, trying not to laugh, lest he take it the wrong way. “She says you’re a good friend, and a hard worker,” said Shining Armor. “Pulling all-nighters for the council. She’s sucked you into her way of doing homework, huh?” “Ah, well,” I said, modestly. “She’s said nothing but good things about you, too.” Shining grinned. “Well, now that you both have arrived,” said Minister Ironmane, “we can get down to business.” “But first,” said Cadence, “why don’t we show you to your rooms?” “That’d be wonderful, Princess,” said Cornelius. With that, with the princesses, prince, and minister leading the way, the six of us made for the castle itself, while I used every ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from looking up and making myself dizzy. *** The architecture within the castle was quite beautiful, and remarkably pristine after 1,000 years. I didn’t want to contradict Sure Shot, but, based on what I’d seen when we arrived, the Crystal Empire could qualify as the ‘crown jewel’ of Equestria. It was shiny all over, and practically made of jewel-material, after all. The rooms where Cornelius and I would be staying were very cozy. They had large beds, velvet hangings, and crystal-sculpted ornamentations. Not a speck of dust anywhere, either. I really hated to admit it, but King Sombra’s curse had at least preserved everything within the Empire. After that, as part of our official business, we were given a tour of the Empire itself. I fell into talk with Shining Armor as we went. He talked about some of the fun times he and Twilight shared when they were younger, stuff that warmed my heart like a heated oven, like them tracking down imaginary monsters together for Twilight to study. He talked about how he’d always wanted to be part of the royal guard ever since he was a colt, and had distinguished himself so well that his superior, Sergeant Thunderous, had recommended him to be promoted to the rank of captain. It was interesting to hear about the kinds of things he faced as a member of the royal guard, let alone as the captain. It seemed that, despite Equestria’s normally peaceable atmosphere, there were still forces that threatened the country’s way of life, such as the Changelings who attacked en masse at his and Cadence’s own wedding. He deeply regretted being duped by the queen so easily, and even more so that he had exploded at Twilight when she tried to warn him about her suspicions, but it seemed like they’d made amends since then, which was good. Speaking of the wedding, I asked how he and Cadence had met, if it wasn’t too personal. Here, Shining Armor looked a bit sheepish and just said they’d met in high school, when Cadence was already working as Twilight’s go-to foalsitter. I couldn’t imagine what was embarrassing about that, but Cadence had a sly smile on her face, which seemed to say she knew something Shining Armor wasn’t about to disclose. All she said was that if I saw him back then, I wouldn’t believe it was the same stallion. What, was she implying he was a geek or something when he was a teenager? This guy? Puh-lease. After the castle, our tour took us out into the streets, and past many buildings, structures, and landmarks. The sun dazzled against the surfaces of the buildings. It was amazing how much one could make and mold out of pure crystal. Plus, we could see more Crystal Ponies milling about, and some Crystal Foals playing with Crystal Sheep. As we went, Cadence and Shining Armor filled us in on what little empirical history they had learned from their time safeguarding the place and being around the Crystal Ponies, though there was still much to catch up on. “And speaking of,” said Cadence, as we reached the door of an official-looking building made of brownish crystal. She opened the door, and what should meet my eyes? Papers. Just stacks and stacks of official-looking papers sitting on dusty-looking tables. “1,000 years of being off the face of the map leaves quite a backlog,” said Shining Armor. I already knew where this was heading. My writing hand was beginning to tingle unpleasantly. *** When I imagined coming to see the Crystal Empire, this was definitely not part of what I had in mind. Then again, this was what most of my position as a delegate amounted to: lots of documents and bureaucratic busywork. The only consolation I had was that Cornelius, Ironmane, and the princesses were just as swamped as I was, but then again, they had several years’ more experience in this field than I did, so this was less of an unpleasant surprise to them, and more of an expected routine. The papers included lists of imports and exports sent to and from the Empire (such as crystal berries and a special mineral used for therapeutic mud baths), needs for financial aid, benefits of remaining close friends, and so on. To be fair, it was mostly informational mumbo-jumbo to keep on file for future reference, not necessitating essay-level writing, though I did need a dictionary to understand some of the jargon it threw at me, and a lot of it required signatures. As my hand was already tender from spending so many hours working on my speech, and copying notes for Ironmane, this was not a pleasant experience. If I didn’t develop carpal tunnel syndrome by the end of this, I would be very much surprised… However, I started to draw a blank when it came to documents about trade and export. It was asking for my signature and input as though I were the potentate of an Equestrian settlement. I was in no position of authority back home, and my only Equestrian territory was Ponyville. What was I supposed to say about opening trade between the Empire and ‘my’ territory? “Something wrong, Dave?” Cadence asked, as she came up to me. “Er, sort of,” I said. “I don’t have a connection with home right now, so I can’t really negotiate trade agreements between the Empire and Earth right now. And I don’t mean this Earth, I mean the Earth I come from. Know what I mean?” Cadence nodded, though I couldn’t help wondering if she actually understood what I’d just said. “Ponyville’s the only ‘turf’ I have, so to speak,” I went on. “I guess I could arrange something with Mayor Mare.” “That’d be just fine,” said Cadence. “In the meantime, we can help you draw up some contracts for future review.” “Thanks, Cadence. Having Twilight help me with this stuff has been really beneficial, but without her, I feel kinda lost. I’ve never had to deal with this stuff before.” “Oh, don’t worry,” said Cadence, as she levitated a quill and started writing on a fresh piece of paper. “Some of the best of us feel a bit lost without a helping hoof guiding us along.” I saw her cast a look in Shining Armor’s direction. He caught it, smiled, and turned back to his own work. From there, the rest of the afternoon passed in silence, save for rustling papers, the scratching of quills and pens, and the occasional unconscious sigh. *** “Hand...pain...ow…” It was evening. The last signature had been signed. The last paper was whisked away. We were finished. I was tired, hungry, and aching. Just twitching my fingers was an effort. This was why I preferred keyboards to pencil and paper. “Excellent, everypony,” said Cadence. “I realize how exhausting this must have been for all of you, so please, join us in the banquet hall for a well-deserved feast.” She, Shining Armor, Luna, and Ironmane looked none the worse for wear. Even Cornelius looked less tired than I did, and he did most of the writing by mouth. They were all much more used to this than I was. I envied them for it. Stiffly, I followed everyone out of the office building. It was already night, and the moon was hanging high above. Darn it, I missed Luna turning the day to night. Dinner was excellent that night. We were waited on by Crystal Ponies who brought rich-smelling, wonderful-tasting dishes from the castle’s kitchens. The ponies really seemed to have recovered the full use of their respective talents after being put into limbo for 1,000 years. Then again, it probably didn’t even feel like that to them. For all I knew, it might have felt like it was just yesterday to them. It wasn’t a pleasant thought. After dinner, Cornelius and I were shown back to our suites, where we’d spend the night before heading home again tomorrow. A warm wave went through my body at the thought of returning to Ponyville and my pony friends. It would feel so good to be back. I was stopped at the door by a familiar regal voice. “Sir Dave?” I turned. Princess Luna was standing right behind me. “I forgot to mention earlier that Celestia and I received your speech,” she said. “Once we’ve looked over it properly, we will send it back with our feedback. Does that sound agreeable?” “Of course, Your Highness,” I said. I made a short bow to her, and she smiled. “By the by, I felt I should tell you: I’ve seen my fair share of junk food dreams, but yours from last night was...something.” Oh, she saw that one, too? Must have been quite the show for her. “Good night, then, Sir Dave.” “Good night, Princess.” She walked off, and I went into my suite, ready for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I’d be Ponyville-bound at last.