Chapter 41
But You Lost What You Had...
The days passed both accordingly and quickly as Dr. Facilier toiled over his little project while paying attention to his other duties, namely Fluttershy and his job, and they continued to pass as quick as they came. With each day, the Shadowcolt would add more to his project after coming home from work and make sure that the detail was just right, much like Rarity when she makes a wonderful dress.
What inspired him to continue was the very vivid image of his marefriend in his mind as he went about his days. He wanted to make this one count with all of the good he had acquired during his stay in this world, and he pushed aside the gloomy revelation of his problems before then. He may still be under control by higher powers, but they won't stop him from seeing this project through...
2 Months Later...
Dr. Facilier's stay in Equestria was indeed worthwhile when he spent time with Fluttershy and worked at Ponyville Clinic. He made enough money to get himself his own house, but he instead used it to benefit the timid mare's happiness despite how the animals acted towards the doctor. Each day was boring at best with how consistent his schedule was, but he wouldn't have it any other way. There were days that seemed out of the ordinary and involved adventure followed by another lesson learned, but it still didn't help his cause considering the small aspect of his former self refused to leave his presence.
Dr. Facilier rested in his bed as he contemplated on his situation while Fluttershy was sound asleep. He gave a deep and wistful sigh when he thought about all of the words said to him that put his quest for change in utter dismay.
"I cannot be held responsible if you decide to act against the new-found will I've bestowed upon you...I expect you to change, Dr. Facilier, for the better of yourself and your new life...And with Fluttershy at your side, you're sure to do well for yourself. Can you do your best for the sake of Equestria?"
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'You're a villain, Dr. Facilier...An conniving, sadistic, and unforgivable villain...And this world, this Equestria, is tearing you apart at the seams...Once you die, you'll only come back here and pay your dues in kind...You were lucky to be saved by that white winged unicorn, but even SHE knew of your deeds...It was nothing but a mistake to revive you, knowing you'll simply return from whence you came. While your affection towards that mare of yours is genuine, it's nothing more than an infected cyst in your body that shouldn't even exist...This world, and everyone inside of it, is trying to do the impossible and change who you really are, and even they fail to realize that it is a meaningless effort...'
_____
"You? Come to me for advice on redemption?
For a life that promises certain exemption?
You must be certainly deranged
To forget that some things never change!"
_____
The Shadowcolt frowned sadly at what he remembered. For as long as he had lived under Fluttershy's roof, it would seem that it was impossible to let this all continue without progression. He constantly kept his past life under wraps from the element bearers and it would not aid him to come clean and expect to be considered their friend afterwards. The worst-case scenario is that it won't be long until they persist to know about him. He looked down on the floor at his shadow, who did a gesture of tapping a foreleg impatiently as if the doctor was trying its patience. Was it expecting something out of him?
But then it hit him. Perhaps he has overstayed his welcome in this world with how his endeavors proved to be almost meaningless despite the feelings he had for Fluttershy. His frown deepened when he realized that he led what appeared to be an amazing relationship while being under the guise of an ill-minded villain who tried to change out of obligation of a game between cosmic powers. The shadow only grew impatient with how long Dr. Facilier had held out when living with Fluttershy, and he doesn't blame his shady friend for thinking that way. It wouldn't be right for him to keep this up...
...It was time for him to go...
He took one last good stare at Fluttershy as she slept so content on her side of the bed. So innocent and so serene. The doctor wiped a tear from his eye knowing that he could not stay here much longer and endanger her and her friends. He leaned down and gave a small peck on the timid mare's head before he hopped out of bed and quietly made his way downstairs.
On his desk downstairs, Dr. Facilier looked through a book on plants and found the page he was looking for. The plant was known as 'Heart's Desire', and according to the description, it was as the name itself implied. It grants whatever the heart desires after consumption from its petals, though it is limited to certain points. The reason he searched for this particular plant was simple: He did not want to go back with a mood that would satisfy his 'friends'. It seemed radical, but it was best to go back the way he came into this world. While he favored the friends he made in Equestria, it wouldn't be right for him to leave them in tears.
He knew he didn't need anything other than his suit for where he was going, but he pulled out a quill and parchment as he wrote down something before his leave. As he wrote, The Shadowcolt shed another tear as he jotted down further along the parchment.
Afterwards he levitated a box and some ribbons and wrapped up his project before he left. Dr. Facilier looked around to see everything in the living room so quiet and dark, and he smiled to himself knowing that his marefriend would prosper well with what he left for her. He straightened his hat and suit and took his leave as he quietly opened the front door.
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Fluttershy slept soundly in her bed and dreamed about her and Dr. Facilier dancing in a meadow. She felt her heart soar while she gazed into the doctor's eyes as they shared a sweet dance. While they held their hooves, she leaned in along with the Shadowcolt as the two went to go kiss, but something happened when their lips touched.
The Shadowcolt dematerialized into thin air starting from his muzzle and his hooves as Fluttershy gasped in shock and fright. She tried to grasp for him as he slowly vanished while the doctor stared back at her blankly "No, wait! Come back! Don't leave me here!" The skies became grey once Dr. Facilier had vanished into thin air. Fluttershy stood with widened and teary eyes as she felt her voice leave her. She plopped onto her haunches and tried to find her voice so she could cry her eyes out.
With how the dream escalated into a nightmare, Fluttershy gasped and woke up from her slumber. She hyperventilated, but eventually calmed down "Just a dream...Thank goodness..." She turned to the set of covers next to her with a smile and stroked at it "I know that Dr. Facilier wouldn't-" When she stroked the covers, they moved to reveal that the Shadowcolt wasn't there at all. This made the timid mare's heart stop as she darted her head around "Dr. Facilier?" She hopped from her bed and hoped it wasn't another nightmare as she galloped down the stairs.
When she reached the living room, she looked around and called again "Dr. Facilier!?" She began to grow worried, until she noticed that a lamp was left on near the doctor's workdesk. Fluttershy trotted over and looked at all of his potions and his dolls, then noticed a present with a letter folded next to it saying 'To Fluttershy'. She ignored the present as she unraveled the paper to see a letter of sorts. The timid mare read it intently to see what was said.
To my dearest marefriend,
How are you doing? If you got this, then I'm glad if it was sooner. It was about time I came clean and confess myself with this paper.
Before I came to Equestria, I was nothing but the worst kind of scum you would see in the fairytales you heard as a filly. In fact, it was enjoyable before I met you. I did things. Horrible and unforgivable things that not even YOU would look over, and I'm sorry that I never told you with all the time we had spent together...
Your Princess Celestia, on the other hoof, was the one that brought me here by striking a bet with my Friends on the Other Side, or so they're called. She wanted me to change, but over the past couple months, I could only change so much of me. You and your friends did a hell of a job to try and make me step into the light, but it only made my shadow bigger, badder, and much worse than I was before.
I can't change, Fluttershy. My being here would only cause trouble if I'm met with something familiar, and I surely won't be happy once we've parted ways in the future. It's best that I do this now to save us both the trouble. You know what they say: If you love something so much, set it free.
Before you think ill of me, I want you to know that the love I had for you was real. Very real. You were the one thing that kept me from doing all kinds of bad ever since I came here, other than the time with Angel bunny and the Zecora doll. I have to be honest, I lied about them along with other things.
But aside from that, know that even if I'm gone, even if I have no hope here, that I always love you. And to make sure you believe me, I left you a little something before I made my leave. It was made out of the goodness of my heart that you and your friends managed to dig inside of me.
So with this message, Fluttershy...This is goodbye...
You made me the most happiest stallion in Equestria, and I hope I made you the happiest mare...
Love you with all my heart,
Dr. Facilier
P.S: Please don't look for me. Please, for the love of Celestia, do not look for me, Fluttershy. I don't want to hurt you...
Fluttershy dropped the note as she stood motionless with tears in her eyes, and she flared her wings and quickly made for the door and ignored the wrapped present as it fell onto the floor with the gust her wings picked up. Her wings teared through the skies and tried to search high and low for the Shadowcolt in Ponyville. In her mind, the timid mare was confused. Not just because of the paper, but the pony who wrote it.
She was shy when she met him, but she also remembered how Dr. Facilier treated her despite what was said in the letter, although she couldn't find it in her heart to look at him the same way with the dark deeds he confessed. She wanted to forget that and remember that she had the most wonderful coltfriend that made her the most happiest mare in Equestria. It was so hard. But she needed to push them aside for another time. She needed to find her coltfriend so they could sort things out 'Where are you, Dr. Facilier!? Where!? Please show yourself! You can't leave me like this!' Her eyes watered from both the intense speed she was going, along with her building sorrow.
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Dr. Facilier was in the neck of the woods that was the Everfree Forest as he trotted with a stoic expression on his face. His shadow followed with a similar expression, though on the inside it was all kinds of excited for what the doctor had in mind. The Shadowcolt looked around at different brushes of plants and made sure to steer clear of the batches of Poison Joke. He needed to find the plant he was looking for so he could make this his final act in Equestria. He needed the Heart's Desire to seal the deal. Permanently.
He inwardly felt beyond horrible to realize that he left his marefriend in the dust, and was sure he would never see her again, but it was better this way. He couldn't squander his second chance knowing that it was impossible for him to become a whole new stallion. But now wasn't the time to be depressed.
Dr. Facilier took the time to curb his sadness the only way he knew how. He closed his eyes for a brief moment to picture the vivid and beautiful image of Fluttershy in his head. Yes, he needed his marefriend one last time to see his goal to the end, even if it wasn't the best course of action. But then again, how else would he return to his friends?
In time, he managed to come across a distant brush of flowers resembling hearts, whose petals glistened in the night as they laid ripe for the picking. The image of Fluttershy still dancing in his mind, the Shadowcolt stepped forward while his shadow slowly began to smile.
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Fluttershy searched high and low for Dr. Facilier. She even went to the local nightclub and mentioned to Vinyl Scratch about her problems. The timid mare thought that the DJ would give a straight answer, but she only replied with 'Don't worry, Flutters. I got this...' What could she possibly mean? She decided to consult to the only pony smart enough to know where Dr. Facilier was going.
The timid mare soared over to the library and knocked on the door frantically. There was a brief moment of silence, and then Fluttershy repeated her process once again. This time, she was lucky enough to find Twilight at her door looking awfully tired.
Twilight noted the look on Fluttershy's face and rubbed her own eyes "Fluttershy?" She yawned "What's wrong? Why are you here at this late hour?"
Fluttershy wiped her eyes and spoke "Twilight, I need you to help me find Dr. Facilier fast! He's missing!"
The lavender bookworm woke up at this "Missing? But how? Where would he run off to like this? Was he foalnapped?"
Fluttershy shook her head "No. No, not at all. He went out on his own, but he told me not to find him! I can't let him leave like this! I can't lose him now! I-...I-..." She threw herself on Twilight and sobbed.
Twilight held the timid mare in her forelegs as she sobbed on her chest "Fluttershy, please don't cry like this! I'll help you find him and we'll sort things out!" She managed to pull Fluttershy's face from her chest and the two looked at each other "Now tell me, where do you think he would have gone? Or more importantly, why exactly did he want to leave?"
Fluttershy looked down and her depression worsened. This was going to be a long and hard story to tell.
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While the brush of Heart's Desire laid in front of him, Dr. Facilier took his time to reflect on all of the times he had shared with Fluttershy and her friends, much to the displeasure of his own shadow. Some were good, some were bad, and some were mostly random and strange enough to be considered Pinkie Pie's kind of crazy. He treasured them all, but not as much as his marefriend who took him in and stepped beside him the whole way.
He activated his horn and wrapped one of the marvelous flowers in an aura of his magic, then plucked it out and levitated it towards his face as he stared blankly at it.
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Fluttershy and Twilight were galloping along Ponyville with the other element bearers in search of Dr. Facilier, who had their own respective expressions upon hearing Fluttershy's story involving her letter.
Twilight looked at the timid mare "So you mean to tell me that Dr. Facilier wasn't a good pony to begin with? And that he was responsible for Zecora's wounds a couple months back?" This was the first time the thought occured to Twilight's mind, but what was her mentor thinking when she brought the Shadowcolt into this world?
Rainbow Dash was fuming as she flew over her friends "I knew he couldn't be trusted! I can't believe I thought he was a good guy after he saved Fluttershy's life! What the hay was I thinking!?"
Applejack kept a firm look as she moved forward "Looks like we're gonna hafta sniff 'im out an' make 'im answer fer his crimes! Ah already feel like buckin' myself fer not seein' through his ruse!"
Rarity was confused while she galloped "But it doesn't make any sense! Are we talking about the same zebracorn that proved himself to be an amazing gentlecolt when we first met?? This whole thing is as about as chaotic as Discord!"
Pinkie was only bouncing "I knew the whole time! But Twilight was right about me to not spoil it for anypony back then!"
Twilight looked at her friends "We'll have to split up if he's somewhere in town! Let's go!" The element bearers did just that as they searched for him.
Fluttershy was happy to be alone so she could have the possible chance of finding her coltfriend on her own. She couldn't imagine what would happen if Rainbow Dash or Applejack got a hold of him.
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Dr. Facilier felt like a statue for how long he had stood with the freshly-picked Heart's Desire floating in front of him. His shadow sneered with impatience with how its master took his time basking in his memories. But then the Shadowcolt came to as he took a deep breath. In his heart, he wanted two things: His marefriend, and his old sense of evil so he can leave this world and everything in it. There was only one thing he wanted, and the doctor shed one last tear when he knew what the decision was 'Well, it was fun while it lasted, I guess...Was already used t' that warm and tingly feelin' inside, and that bugged the crap outta me back then...'
He brought the flower further to his mouth as he opened wide to take a bite. Before he sunk his teeth, however, he heard the sound of a bird cawing. He stopped for a moment and looked up to see a dark bird staring down at the Shadowcolt, tilting its head as if curious.
Dr. Facilier knew this kind of bird all too well. In fact, it made him think of the poem derived from the name. With that thought, he began to utter a few lines of said poem while the image of Fluttershy flickered in his head.
"In there strepped a stately raven from th' saintly days o' Yore...
Though thy crest be shorn an' shaven,
Thou art sure no craven...
He levitated the flower near his lips while he pictured the sublime beauty of his marefriend and continued his verses.
"Ghastly grim an' ancient raven wanderin' from th' nightly shore...
Tell me what thy lordly name is on th' night's Plutonian shore?"
With his mind made up, he opened his mouth and brought his teeth down on the bud of the flower and chewed it up contently, then swallowed it as the image of Fluttershy slowly faded from his head into the darkness.
Dr. Facilier then stood still and canceled his magic and dropped the stem of the flower with his head hung down. After a small moment, his mouth slowly contorted into an very familiar and wicked grin and brought his head up to reveal narrowed eyes of evil that reflected in the moonlight. His shadow rejoiced with its own crooked smile as its master finished up in a devious whisper.
"Nevermore..."
End of Chapter 41