Impressions
New Cast:
Ruby Pinch
Berry Punch
Horte Cuisine
Desmond
I probably should have asked Ditzy Doo for directions.
Minuette was standing in the shadow of Town Hall, which was the most easily identifiable landmark in town. It was the tallest building in Ponyville by far, and not too distant from Minuette’s house. She checked her watch, working correctly for now, and synched to its much larger counterpart sitting atop the balcony where government officials presumably gave public addresses and speeches. Sugarcube Corner was easy enough to locate from here, to her west only about 200 meters away. It resembled a gingerbread house in macroscale, with dark brown shingles and faux icing gutters. It even had what appeared to be a cupcake tower jutting from the center of the roof, complete with birthday candle lightpoles. She would definitely find her way over there in the next couple days.
Careful, remember finals week at university, forgetting meals and then gorging on ice cream in the middle of the night to make up for it does not count as sustenance, it counts as courting death by rocky road.
Well, if I had to go, that would be in my top three.
She shook her head, and once again cursed the lack of signage in this town. That was the infernal thing about these country villages, everypony already knew everypony else and had for the last ten generations. Oh the streets themselves had names yes, but Canterlot also had things like public transportation, taxi carriages and advertisements about where to find the next Soup Corral or whatever.
I did notice a hardware store on the way here though, it even had what looked like a smithy in the back for manual repairs, might be just what I nee-
Minuette made a small choking noise as something shuffled out from underneath the hedge surrounding the main courtyard in front of Town Hall. In the dimness it was hard to make out immediately, but Minuette saw that whatever it was it was roughly the size of a dog, but with entirely too many legs. Four bright red embers burned at the center of the chittering mass that Minuette realized now was a truly enormous spider, with legs as black as the space between stars and a body covered in fur the color of the darkest rainclouds.
“Ye…Ye… EEEEEEE!!!” Minuette brandished her purse in her teeth, taking a fighting stance as the horror crawled in her direction, gibbering sounds trickling from its clacking mandibles.
It was crawling closer, bale eyes locked upon her, staring into the depths of her soul. Minuette backed away until her flank smacked into a fence, preventing further retreat. The beast closed in, its forelegs brandished, as if any moment it would try to lunge onto her face.
Could this be a beast wandered in from the Everfree forest?! I read somewhere that Ponyville bordered a remnant of the roiling wildlands, last fragment of the world before ponykind had tamed the land we now call Equestria.
Would it simply kill her and eat her right here? Maybe she should run? The fence was high but if she jumped…or she might just pin herself halfway over it, easy prey for whatever poisonous sting it was sure to have. Perhaps it would lose interest if it took a swift buck to the face?
How in the name of Celestia did this thing get to the center of town?! Is everypony here mad?! Is…is that a ribbon tied around its abdomen? What?!
“Hey lady!”
Minuette wheeled to see a small unicorn filly sprinting toward her. The child had a warm pink coat that reminded Minuette of carnations in the springtime with a slightly darker mane of similar hue. The spider turned as well, and emitted a high pitched bleat, before changing direction and skittering off toward the little unicorn at speed.
“Heaven’s wrath child! Run! Get help! I’ll try to keep it busy!” Minuette ignored the squeal of fear twisting in her stomach and threw herself between the child and the spider, striking it hard across the face with her purse and knocking it on its back. It let out a hissing screech and thrashed wildly, spindly legs seeking purchase to right itself.
The Unicorn filly screamed and leapt over Minuette. “Desmond! Oh nooo!”
Minuette stared as the child engulfed the spider in the magic of her horn and lifted it into the air-
Why the hell didn’t I think of that?!
-before gently placing it upright where it had stood before. The spider seemed to shrink away from Minuette, who was lying in the dirt, mouth agape.
“Wh…Wh…what?!”
The unicorn filly turned to Minuette, tears streaming down her face. “You meanie! You hit Desmond, you’re lucky he didn’t hurt himself, look how scared he is!”
“…What.”
The spider did appear to be doing something akin to cowering now, crawling behind the small unicorn and clinging to her foreleg, making agitated bubbling noises. There was indeed a bow tied about its abdomen in the same color as the filly’s coat, that spring carnation pink.
No…
“Aren’t you gonna apologize? Just ‘cause you’re big and he’s small doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want! Smacking animals in the face when they try to say hi!” She was starting to hyperventilate.
Minuette slowly stood, trying to find words. “I…”
“I came running over to thank you for finding him, he’s been missing all afternoon, but then you freaked out and hit him. I…wait a minute.” The Unicorn filly took a step back to examine Minuette more critically. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.” Her adorable attempt at a snarl was replaced by a quizzical stare.
Grateful for a statement her partially melted brain could easily answer, Minuette spoke:
“My name is Minuette Romana, I just moved to Ponyville today, and already your town is threatening to snap in half what remains of my emotional health and well being.”
It was only now, coming off the adrenaline that Minuette began to feel the post high release, like a puppet with strings cut, she suddenly felt very wobbly on her feet.
This town is insane.
“Little girl-” Minuette began.
“My name is Ruby Pinch.”
“Ruby Pinch, I-”
“And his name is Desmond.” Ruby said, pouting.
“Hello Desmond-I mean…Argh!” Minuette smacked a hoof on her head.
Ruby sat on her haunches, Desmond crawling onto her back to perch atop her head, clinging to her mane. “Lady, are you ok?”
Minuette slumped to the ground, covering her head in her hooves. “I just, I just want to find Café Celeste, and have some lasagna! Without falling down my staircase, and without being attacked on the way by monsters from the Everfree Forest! Then finding out that, silly me, fillies in this town have forest monsters for pets all the time!”
Ruby perked up. “Oh, Desmond’s not from the Everfree forest, he’s from Ponyville, Rarity made him for last year’s Nightmare Night celebration.”
Minuette had descended into confusion again. “What?”
“He used to be a toy for the web throwing game at the Nightmare Night carnival.”
Confusion...going...deeper.
“But then Princess Luna hit him with some magic spell, and he came alive! It was super scary, and way cool!” Ruby reached up and patted Desmond as he sat on her head. The spider closed its eyes and rubbed against her hoof, emanating a low trilling sound.
Deeper still.
“Before Princess Luna left, she turned the others back into toys, but I begged her to let me keep Desmond, and she said yes!”
My confusion is without fathom.
Fortunately, Ruby was not done. “Hey, I can understand why Desmond bothered you, he is pretty scary, and awesome, but don’t worry he’s totally friendly and harmless. And even grownups like you can be scaredy pants sometimes, I won’t tell anyone.” Ruby winked and gave a big smile.
“Hbwuh?! But I-Ooh!” Minuette got to her hooves and brushed herself off as best she could, her dress was halfway to ruined. She should probably just go home, go home and find something to smack her head against for the next hour or two. Then perhaps she would have the requisite amount of saddle-on-head insanity to take this town with a straight face. Instead she breathed deep, and counted to twenty in her head while she popped out the alcohol scrub and wiped her hooves. Thoroughly. Twice.
Ruby cocked her head and bemusedly watched this little display, as Desmond crawled around to hang from the side of her flank and bat at her tail as it swished by. “You know, if you’re looking for Café Celeste I can take you. My mommy works there most days.”
Minuette sighed as her stomach grumbled once again, now that the excitement was over, it was not going to be denied. “That would be very nice, thank you Ruby.”
Then belatedly as they started to move down the road going south from town hall, “And I’m sorry I hit Desmond.”
Ruby smiled. “It’s ok, you didn’t know any better. Besides, he looks fine. And he was being bad, getting out of the apartment like that without me.”
***
Ruby had bounded off with Desmond swinging from her mane as they approached the restaurant. Minuette returned her parting wave, and tried again to rub out the dirt stains on her dress. She had a brush in her purse, so her hair had been returned to its nondescript status quo of serviceably straight, but there were several smudges, especially around the hem, that made it look like she had taken a roll in a ditch.
No helping it, and I’m not about to walk around with this thing draped over my back like I’ve spilled wine on it or something.
She put on her best smile of greeting and approached, taking in her surroundings. The café itself was two stories, and built from light timber with heavy thatched roof like most buildings in Ponyville. This time with sea green cross beams and floral highlights. Hay bales for sitting were placed around circular tables out in an open front courtyard, the tables were small, and she could see parasols stacked against a wall for when the sun beat down during the day. It being a Tuesday night, the restaurant did not appear to be seeing much traffic, lights were on, and the sound of music drifted from inside, but no ponies were sitting outside.
Immediately within, the atmosphere was much transformed, Minuette could see heavy wooden tables and booths with cushions to her right, and a bar with drink taps and numerous colored bottles built into the wall to the left. To the far rear, the doors to the kitchen were barely visible, and a sign hung above them saying, “restrooms/stairs.” Electric lights on the ceiling provided a dim haze of illumination for the entire room, and was augmented by a smattering of candles at every table. The right side of the room also featured a massive fireplace, currently dark since the weather was warm and nopony wanted to be as baked as their dinner. Still, this place must get downright cozy in winter time.
Several patrons were sitting at the tables, Minuette could see a pearl white Unicorn with liquid blue eyes and a deep lavender mane whose strands seemed to flow like water when she brushed them idly with her forehoof. Minuette felt her breath catch in her throat, she had always thought Moondancer was queen of the blush pad and graphite pen, but this was incredible. Whoever she was, she was discussing something animatedly with a bright pink Earth Pony sitting across from her in their corner booth. Every now and then she would cover her face to stifle a giggle as her pink counterpart gesticulated wildly in frantic pantomime, no doubt recounting some hilarious tale involving…balloons…a cart, no, a bicycle? With propellers? And somepony getting soaked? The pink pony had picked up her glass of water and splashed her own face with it, sticking both arms up in final triumph as she completed her story. It was too much for her Unicorn friend, who doubled over cackling and clutching her sides, luxurious locks bouncing as tears of mirth made her mascara run.
“Madame? Are you waiting to be seated?” The waiter had materialized at her side, serving tray stowed in a rack on his back, eyebrow cocked and very pointedly ignoring the spectacle happening at the other end of the room.
Minuette snapped free from her reverie. “Oh! I…Yes. That is, um I think I’ll just take a seat at the bar if that’s all right?”
The waiter nodded, somehow managing to be both haughty and deferential at the same time. “But of course Madame, whenever you please.”
The bar was empty except for a single Earth Pony with a plum colored coat and Mulberry mane that scrunched in big floppy curls. Her cutie mark was a bunch of grapes and a strawberry. She was humming something softly to herself and smiling at a plaque on the wall behind the bar. Remembering her promise to Moondancer, but not quite trusting herself to have the gumption to speak to the supermodel and maniac in the corner booth, Minuette trotted up and slid onto the stool next to her and began to flip through the menu.
It was really more of a delaying tactic than anything, Minuette knew she was getting the lasagna but she wanted to see if the other pony would say something first. Minuette had learned ways over the years to overcome or avoid the difficulty she had with introductions, and making the other pony feel like they had to be the one to break the silence was a tried and true method. Being distracted fishing for nothing in her purse was also a good one, if more situational.
It worked like a charm. The other pony turned and smiled as Minuette pretended to read prices. “Hey there, name's Berry Punch.” She brandished a hoof.
Minuette happily took it, dropping the menu, its purpose served. “Minuette Romana, a pleasure.”
Berry put a hoof to her chin that for a moment reminded Minuette of Ditzy Doo. “That’s a Canterlot accent if I ever heard one. Are you visiting family here in Ponyville?”
Minuette gave a surprised smile. “You’re right! About the Canterlot bit anyway, as to the second half, actually no, I just moved here. There was a property for sale on Barley Terrace near Town Hall.”
Berry’s eyes lit in recognition. “Oh! Well let me be the first to welcome you to Ponyville then. I know it must seem a little rustic to you, but we do pretty well for ourselves. You know, I actually went to Canterlot University for a time.”
Minuette waved the waiter over, he appeared to be doubling as the bartender as well. “You don’t say? What year?”
Berry seemed to cast back for a moment. “1994 if memory serves, that was when I was accepted.”
“Incredible! I enrolled in ’97! Do you think we might have shared any classes? What was your Major?” Minuette was shocked that she might find somepony with so much in common with her. On her first try no less! It made her want to squee!
“Oh…no I was out and back here by the end of 1996.” Berry seemed to lose some of her smile, instead turning to the waiter. “Horte, this gal’s bill is on me tonight, it’s her first night in town and I want her to get the traditional Ponyville welcome. Got it?”
“I couldn’t let you do that Berry! We just met!” Minuette didn’t know whether to panic or be grateful at being shown special treatment from the word go.
“Won’t take no for an answer, Horte, just add everything to my tab, like usual.” The waiter sniffed derisively at that statement, and turned to Minuette. “What will the lady be having then?”
Minuette whipped out the menu again, scanning for the cheapest thing she could find.
But Berry smacked the menu down on the table with a forehoof. “I saw your eyes lingering over the lasagna, and you were right to, it’s the best dish in the house.” She turned toward Horte. “She’ll have one of those, and I’ll have my usual.”
Minuette blushed deeply, looking down.
“Hey c’mon, I’m getting something out of this too; after you’re done you get to be my drinking buddy for the evening.” Berry winked and accepted what appeared to be a glass of hard apple cider from Horte’s tray as he passed.
“Hope you don’t mind if I get a head start.” With that, she knocked back the drink in six quick gulps, licking the lingering foam from her lips with a sigh of contentment.
Minuette could only smile and push a hoof absently across the countertop.
Well Moondancer, looks like I made a friend, though Berry is definitely…not what I was expecting.
Berry accepted a second cider, then ran an eye over Minuette’s body.
“Hey…what the hell happened to your dress?”
Authors note: Big thank you to everyone who has read and given this a like so far, you guys are so supportive I finished this one a little early, so I put it up tonight. Hope you like it.