Technicalities

by BionicBrony


We've Got a Problem

        City streets lit up by gas lamps, restaurants, and cafes still open for the late evening crowd made Canterlot even prettier at night than the day.

Sitting by a large round table on the front patio of The Oat Garden, a large group of friends sipped on fruity drinks and pondered over the menu. Everyone sat on a single pillow, while Spike sat on three to give himself a boost.

Alex had brought his folding chair down from the palace to use instead, while Rose sat on a single pillow with her knees under herself, eying everypony as they read their menus. Her combat chassis, seemingly ignoring everything else, leaned against a nearby wall and endlessly flipped and caught a bit in her bronzed hand, emitting a slight metallic “ting” with every flip and catch. Meanwhile, the red-eyed Nova stood out in the open, glancing at passersby as they understandably fed their curiosity by staring back.

        “Ugh, I’m not sure what to order…” Alex muttered with his cheek smooshed against his fist as he leaned onto the table and over his menu. “Most of this pony food doesn’t sit well with me…”

        “Oh, here’s something you might like,” said Pinkie with her nose in her own menu. “Have you ever had a quesadilla before?”

        Alex perked up at the name and leaned over to look at Pinkie’s menu. “Wait, they have quesadillas?”

        “Yup!” She pointed to them. “Third to last page.”

        Alex turned to the page on his own menu with a grin. “Shit, they do! Oh man, I love these things! My dad used to make them all the time. I think I’ll get one with… what do they got… onions and hot peppers. That sounds good.”

        “Mmm, that does sound good,” Rainbow Dash commented as she flipped through her own menu. “I think I might get one too. Hey, Rose, you decide on anything yet?”

        Everyone simultaneously dropped their menus to give Dash a collective deadpan stare. When Dash finally noticed them, she folded her menu down and looked back at them with wide eyes. “What?”

        “Personally, I was thinking I’d order some double A batteries,” Rose replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Alex’s reacted by tapping his knuckles against the table and looking over at her. She responded with, “Okay fine, you’re right. I’m on a diet. I’ll get triple A’s then.”

        As Alex did his best to keep his snickering to a minimum, Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Oh right! Ugh, I feel stupid now…”

        “So I bet I know what you’re all thinking…” said Twilight as she came out onto the restaurant’s patio with her drink floating beside her. She continued as she sat down. “Cadence is the worst bride to be ever.”

        Everypony suddenly looked over at her with expressions of shock, while Alex and Rose raised an eyebrow each. Even Rose’s combat chassis caught its bit a final time and stopped flipping it to look at her.

        “Twilight, whatever are you talking about?” Rarity asked as Twilight sipped on her drink. “Cadence is an absolute gem!”

        Twilight’s eyes cracked open at those words and she spat the straw out of her mouth. “Are you kidding? Didn’t you see how demanding she was with the dresses?”

        “Well of course she was!” Rarity defended with a roll of her eyes. “It’s her wedding day! Why shouldn’t she expect the very best?”

        Twilight stared at her slack jawed for a moment before vigorously rubbing a hoof against the side of her head with a growl. “Applejack, did you know that after she said she ‘loved loved loved’ your hor d'oeuvres, she threw them in the trash?

        Applejack gave her a sympathetic smile. “Oh, Ah’m sure she was just tryin’ to spare my feelin’s.”

        Twilight leaned over the table at her. “Or maybe, she was just being fake and totally insincere!”

        For Alex, a set of bright white letters appeared in the middle of the table and drew his attention. “Thoughts?” Looking over at Rose with his lips tugged down, his only response was to shrug.

        “She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal…” Fluttershy offered.

        Twilight snapped at the opportunity in an instant, pointing a hoof at her. “Aha! See! Rude!” She crossed her forelegs as if her entire point had been proven.

        “To be fair, he was singing really off key…” Fluttershy countered.

        At that, Twilight’s stature sagged. “Okay… Pinkie Pie, didn’t you notice that…”

        Her voice died away as she and the others around the table witnessed Pinkie Pie playing with the tiny plastic cake toppers representing the bride and groom, her nose peeking just over the table. Noticing the sudden silence, Pinkie drew her eyes upwards at all her friends staring at her. “Huh?”

        “Nevermind…” Twilight muttered as she rested her head on the table. Although just as quickly as it came down, she raised her head again. “Rainbow Dash! You’re with me, right?”

        “Sorry, Twilight. Been too busy practicing for my sonic rainboom to notice the bride’s bad attitude.” Dash flexed a wing for emphasis.

        “Aren’t you using the flightsuit?” Alex asked her.

        “Nah. I want a challenge. The suit makes it too easy.”

        He clicked his tongue. “Fair enough.”

        “Alex, you’ve noticed something weird with Cadence, right?” Twilight begged, her forelegs outstretched on the table.

        “Sorry, Twilight, but I got nothing,” Alex shrugged. “I haven’t met her yet. I don’t even know what she looks like.”

        “Rose?!”

        “A similar situation, I’m afraid,” was her answer. “Neither I, nor any of the Liandri have run into her throughout the entire day. Hardly enough to form even the basis of a judgement.”

        Twilight let out a frustrated groan at her answer. Meanwhile, Rarity scooted over and placed a hoof over her shoulder. “Twilight, the princess is about to get married. I’m sure any negative behavior she may be displaying is simply the result of nerves.”

        With a growl, Twilight pushed herself up from the table and smashed her hoof down, jostling everyone’s drinks. “And I think it’s the result of her being and awful pony who doesn’t deserve to even know Shining Armor let alone marry him!

        With Twilight standing on her hind legs and her forelegs planted firmly on the table, everyone gave her blank stare, unsure of just how exactly to respond. Eventually Applejack said, “Um, Twilight? Don’t you think that maybe you’re being just a tiny bit possessive of your brother?”

        Everyone else hummed and nodded in agreement.

        “I am not being possessive!” Twilight snarled. “You’re all just too caught up in your wedding planning to notice that maybe there shouldn’t even be a wedding!” She punctuated her point by smashing her hoof into the table, shaking it violently and knocking over everyone’s drinks. In one fluid motion, she dragged her hoof off the table and stormed away without a second glance.

        Alex’s hand snapped out to catch his drink, but by the time he did, virtually all of its contents had been spilled out. “Aww man… come on…”

        “Oh dear…” Rarity mumbled as she righted her glass with her magic. “I have no idea what to do about the poor mare…”

        “Me neither…” Applejack said in turn, reaching for the center of the table for napkins to hand out.

        “I do,” affirmed Rose as the other two Liandri started gathering napkins from nearby empty tables, “and it starts with telling me just what exactly all that was about.”

        “I think your guess would be as good as anypony’s,” said Dash, picking up her glass and downing the last few drops that didn’t get spilled out.

        “Maybe she just needs time to calm down?” Fluttershy suggested.

        Alex leaned forward on an elbow. “After that display, I’m thinking she’s gonna need a whole month to get over the fact that her brother is about to be quote unquote ‘stolen’ by a woman she doesn’t even know.”

        Rarity raised a hoof to catch his attention. “Actually, if I recall correctly, I believe Cadence is Twilight’s old foalsitter.”

        “Old foalsi…” Alex silently mouthed the word uncomprehendingly until its meaning dawned on him. “Oh, her old babysitter! Oh! Okay, I get it. And she’s marrying Twilight’s broth…” Alex slowly straightened up with a deer in headlights expression. “Oh shit… Wow… Something tells me I know what was going on in that household when Twilight wasn’t looking…” His comment earned him a stern glare from Applejack. “What?”

        “He’s probably right, ya know,” Pinkie Pie conceded.

        “Right about what?” asked Spike, eying them curiously.

        “Nothing!” was the response from everypony at once.

        With an angry pout, Spike continued wiping down the parts of the table he could reach. “Fine, geez…”

        “Be that as it may,” Rose interrupted as the other two Liandri joined in Spike’s labor, “didn’t the two of them get along back then?”

        “As far as I know, yeah,” answered Spike. “Dunno what changed, though.”

        Rose tilted her head at him. “You sound as if you’ve never met her previously.”

        Spike shrugged. “Not really. I was just a hatchling back then, so I don’t really remember her at all.”

        At that moment, a unicorn waitress came out of the restaurant and trotted over to their table, gasping at the sight of everyone cleaning up the spillage. “Oh dear! What happened?”

        Rarity waved a dismissive hoof. “Oh it’s alright, we have a hoof on things. A friend of ours just got a little emotional and shook the table. Everything’s fine.”

        The waitress pursed her lips at that. “Well that’s a shame… I’ll get you all replacement drinks—free of charge. Are you, um… ready to order? Or should I give you a few more minutes?”

        “I think we’re good,” said Alex, leaning forward on an elbow. “I’ll have a quesadilla with onions and hot peppers.”

        Pinkie hummed as the waitress took down his order. “You know, since we’re ordering quesadillas, it’s probably for the best that Twilight isn’t here.”

        Rainbow Dash’s face contorted in confusion. “Huh? Why?”

        Pinkie smiled to herself. “Oh, no reason.”


Later that night…

        Within Canterlot palace, preparations for the following day’s wedding were underway in the great chapel. Despite the locale’s name, it was only a moderately sized church-like space with a large, red carpet traveling its length, and completely devoid of any pews. Instead of an altar atop a small set of stairs, there was an archway completely covered in leaves and flowers. Princess Celestia stood by the archway next to Cadence, and was busy conversing with Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, who somehow all ended up becoming Cadence’s bridesmaids. Whatever happened to the previous ones, neither Alex nor Rose had any idea. Twilight, as well, was nowhere to be found.

        Over by the entrance stood the Liandri and Alex, who sat comfortably inside of the Exosuit as he spoke with Shining Armor about unit placement. Out of courtesy, Alex kept the Exo’s faceplate up, though his eyes kept their green glow as long as he remained inside the suit.

        “Alright, Rose and I want to keep things simple,” Alex said, gesturing around the room with the Exo’s guns. “We’re thinking we deploy three units on each side, one by each pillar. We’ll put the AVRiL by the back wall near the door, and have the XT-2 sitting by that. I’ll be on the opposite side over here in the Exo, keeping an eye out.”

        Shining Armor nodded as the Liandri all moved to their designated positions. “I’d say that looks good. Personally, I just hope the guests don’t get too freaked out by them.”

        “Trust me, if they were human, they’d be a lot more freaked out.” Alex chuckled. “Ponies in general just aren’t familiar with firearms. Right now, I’d say we’re probably not much more than a curiosity. The best thing we can do is make our presence known, and give ourselves maximum visibility. Don’t worry about it; if anyone looks even slightly suspicious, our bots will spot it.”

        “If you say so,” Shining responded with a shrug. “I’m trusting you with that. Just don’t disappoint me. But remember: if anything happens, let the princess handle it first. She insists on it.”

Alex nodded. "Hey, that's her call."

        “Captain Armor?” Celestia called out. “We’re ready to begin the rehearsal. If you would be so kind as to join me up here…”

        As Shining Armor turned from Alex to go stand next to Celestia, Rose held her hands behind her back as she watched on with disinterest. “So I take it we’re just supposed to stand around over here and look pretty at this point?”

        “Yeah, that about sums it up.” At those words, the Exosuit’s hatch whirred closed over Alex’s head, leaving him in the dark for the briefest of moments before its interior lit up to reveal the world around him, Heads Up Display and all. While the hatch was lowered and HUD activated, everypony in the room sported a green outline around their body—a product of the friendly-fire algorithms to help prevent any unwanted “accidents.”

        Alex hummed to himself when, with only a thought, opened half a dozen windows across the Exo’s HUD that obscured virtually his entire vision. The windows were a live feed from each of the Reds stationed around the room, giving him a plethora of viewpoints to see the rehearsal from. As Alex’s gaze moved around the HUD, the view windows automatically shrunk and enlarged depending on where his attention was focused at any given moment.

        Unfortunately, the rehearsal was just about as boring as Alex had predicted. For Rose and himself, there was a lot of standing around as Celestia gave the ponies their instructions. It was something Alex couldn’t help but loathe. Ceremonies like this we’re always so structured and rigid, that at the end of the day, all they were really doing was putting on a show for everyone else—the guests—just like every graduation ceremony he was ever a part of. Always practice first, then you do the actual thing. Why couldn’t they ever just get straight to the fucking point? Everyone walk in, hand out the goddamn papers, then have cake afterwards. Was this speech and ritual shit really that important?

        Once everypony was in position, Celestia called out instructions again. “First, the bridesmaids will walk down the aisle…” The five mares in question did as was asked, heads held high and smiles on their faces. “Perfect, girls! No need to rush. Now you stand off to my right side… Wonderful! Now Cadence will enter…”

        The two Royal guards standing by the large double doors opened them with their magic, revealing the pink princess in question. Alex smacked his lips as he observed her through Nova four, idly wishing he had something to eat. Maybe some popcorn… Turning his attention to another window, he managed to get a good look at Shining Armor and how his face lit up at the sight of Cadence walking down the aisle.

        “Cool it, dude, you’re not getting married yet,” Alex muttered to himself.

        “You’re desperate to amuse yourself right now, aren’t you?” came Rose’s voice inside the Exo.

        “Fuuuck, is it really that obvious that I just don’t give a shit right now?” Alex sassed.

        “Personally, I think you were much too subtle.”

        Alex expelled something of a mix between a sigh and a groan. “I just wanna go to sleep, dammit. But nooo, we’re up doing this shit.”

        When Cadence finally reached the groom, she and Shining Armor rubbed horns as affectionately as unicorns probably could. While those two were busy with their PDA, Celestia took the opportunity to speak up.

        “I’ll say a few words, and then we’ll begin with the vows. Shining Armor, you’ll get the ring from your best mare.”

        At Celestia’s words, Shining Armor looked behind himself at where the supposed best mare was supposed to be, instead only finding Spike sitting around while holding a purple pillow with nothing on it. “Hey… has anypony seen Twilight?”

        Alex was in the middle of raising an eyebrow when Twilight’s voice rang out from the chapel’s entryway. “I’m right here!” The mare in question marched through, and despite her choice of words, she sounded less than pleased.

        Oh shit… With another thought, Alex dismissed the viewing windows and reoriented the Exo to look directly at the new arrival.

With a frown that could have very well been etched into her face with a hammer and chisel, Twilight stomped down the aisle. “I am not going to stand next to her! And neither should you!

“Oh no, Twilight, what are you doing?” Alex muttered to himself, sensing the uncomfortable feeling welling up in his chest that only ever made an appearance when forced to watch an unbearably awkward situation in a movie—a torturous train wreck in super slow motion.

“Mmm, this just got interesting,” chimed Rose.

Shining Armor bit his lip and glanced around nervously before directing that nervousness as laughter towards Cadence. “Eheh, I’m sorry! I-I don’t know why she’s acting like this…”

“Maybe we should just ignore her?” Cadence sneered while eying Twilight out of the corner of her vision.

“You have to listen to me!” Twilight shouted, stomping a hoof as her friends trotted over.

“Oh goodness! Are you okay?” asked Fluttershy, stepping in front of her.

Twilight pushed her aside with a hoof. “I’m fine.”

“Ya sure about that?” Applejack interjected from her other flank, upon which Twilight magically grabbed her stetson, pulled it down over her face, and pushed her away.

“Yes, and I have something to say!” Twilight stomped several more steps forward before pointing an accusatory hoof at Cadence. “She’s evil!

The room reverberated with silence; even the Liandri looked away or otherwise covered their eyes at Twilight’s sudden and exceptionally bold assertion. Shining Armor, though stunned for a brief moment, put on a scowl and stepped between Twilight and his fiancé.

Inside the Exosuit, Alex began choking on his own breath. “Evil?!” his voice boomed out from the suit, stealing everypony’s attention. As the faceplate whirred open to reveal his head, he continued: “That’s a pretty loaded word, Twilight! Not sure you wanna use it!”

“I am using it!” Twilight snapped at him before focusing her glare on Cadence. “She’s been horrible to my friends…” In a flash of purple, Twilight instantaneously displaced herself behind Cadence, crouched down like a wolf prepared to pounce. “She’s obviously done something to her bridesmaids…” Cadence retreated as Twilight stalked towards her, looking increasingly nervous with her lips pulled back. “And if that wasn’t enough, I saw her putting a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all wonky!”

With Cadence backed up against the wall and standing on her two hind legs, Twilight grinned a manic smile as everyone else in the room looked on with a mixture of wonder, shock, and curiosity. Cadence’s eyes darted around the room, her breath catching in her throat as she took in the sight of everyone’s stares. Quickly enough, tears welled in her eyes as a sob escaped her. “W-why are you doing this to me?!” As the tears began to flow freely now, Cadence shot past Twilight, openly sobbing as she ran towards the Chapel entrance.

“Because you’re evil!” Twilight shouted after her. When Cadence had fully escaped the confines of her future wedding place, Twilight teleported herself to the doorway for the final coup de grace. “Evil! And if I don’t stop you, you’ll ruin my brother’s life!”

As Cadence’s unchained sobs faded away into the halls of the palace, stunned silence was all that remained within the chapel. Except from Rose, who stood stock still save for her slowly clapping hands which echoed throughout the room. “Congratulations, Twilight. Even I don’t know what to say about all that.”

Twilight smiled back at Rose, giving her a small bow. “Thank you, Rose!”

At those words, Rose’s hands clapped together a final time and stopped. “I didn’t mean that as a good thing.” With a thumb, she gestured to Twilight’s side.

When Twilight turned her head, she found herself forced to look up as Shining Armor glowered down at her. At this point, the only thing Twilight was able to muster against him was a pathetically innocent and nervous smile, one where, if a dog could repeat it, would say: “Yes, I know I tore the couch apart, but I swear, I didn’t mean to do any damage and there was a cat hiding in it.”

“You wanna know why my eyes were going all wonky?” Shining armor sneered down at his sister. “It’s because ever since I’ve had to start casting my shield spell, I’ve been getting terrible migraines. What you thought was Cadence casting a spell on me was her trying to heal me.”

Shining Armor marched past her. “And if you want to know what happened to her bridesmaids, Cadence had them replaced because she found out that the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding in the first place was so that they could meet Canterlot royalty! And if Cadence hasn’t been on her best behavior with your friends, it’s because with me being so busy, she’s had to stress herself silly by having to make all the final decisions for the wedding, just to make sure that our big day be perfect!

He emphasized his final point with a stomp of his hoof and glare towards his sister. “Something that obviously wasn’t very important to you.” Shining turned to leave the chapel. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go comfort my bride.” He paused one final time. “Oh, and you can forget about being my best mare. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn’t show up to the wedding at all.”

Alex’s chest grew tighter as Shining Armor trotted out, leaving his downtrodden little sister behind. Exactly nothing about the scene Twilight had started was good. Having suspicions was all well and good, but starting that when there were perfectly reasonable explanations for those suspicions… it only led to bad situations. Alex clenched his eyes shut, as if that would dispel the events around him. Always cover every base. Even Rose understood that—especially Rose.

“Come on, y’all. Let’s go check on the princess.” Alex reopened his eyes at the sound of Applejack’s voice, only to watch as his and Twilight’s friends marched out of the chapel after Shining Armor, straight past Twilight without so much as a fleeting glance at her. The sight alone pained him, but the thing that made it worse was the thought that it wasn’t undeserved.

As the Liandri around the room began to make their own way out, Princess Celestia followed in everypony else’s hoofsteps, keeping her eyes fully ahead as she walked past her student. “You have a lot to think about.” Her words sank into Twilight like a blade that refused to be removed.

The Liandri coalesced around the entryway shortly after Celestia made her exit. Twilight’s teary eyes turned to each of Rose’s bodies, expecting the AI to pass her own judgement upon her. Instead, Rose simply stared back. “I’ve already said everything I need to.”

As the Reds left, Twilight’s broken look turned itself to Alex. He could only close his eyes, unable to meet her own. “Ya dun goofed, Twilight,” he said with a shake of his head. “You goofed real hard… I think… I think you need a bit of time to yourself right now...”

Doing his best to keep his eyes off of Twilight, Alex followed after Rose, the Exo’s heavy metallic stomps echoing throughout the chapel until a pair of royal guards closed the doors behind him with their magic. Within the hallway proper, while the Exo’s inner workings continued to make noise as it walked, its footsteps were at least muffled by carpet underneath. Alex’s chest continued to grip itself as he tightened his jaw, doing his best to keep his eyes forward as he made for the room he and Rose were given.

“Why are you leaving?” Rose suddenly asked, her head turned up at him as she walked alongside the Exosuit.

Alex shot her a look, perplexed as to why she would ask that of all questions. “What do you mean?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” She asked, halting in her steps as the Reds and her combat chassis continued down the corridor. “I figured it would have been obvious.”

Alex halted as well, turning the Exosuit to face her. “What’s obvious? You were paying attention, right? You saw what happened. Twilight needs some alone time right now.”

“Because that worked out so well for you before, hasn’t it?” Rose retorted, crossing her arms.

He frowned. “Rose, what are you getting at?”

She rolled her eyes before jamming her finger against the front of the Exo. “You are what I’m getting at. Your entire conversation with her just earlier this afternoon. If anyone should know about what kind of effect stewing in your own thoughts when you have a problem has on someone, it should be you. Don’t tell me that the entire time you spoke to her this afternoon that you didn’t feel even slightly better about yourself.”

Alex gaped down at her. He had to admit, when Rose had a point, she didn’t hesitate to swiftly hammer it home and make you feel like a complete jackass in the process. Even in this case, Rose kept that same ball rolling. If Alex was going to be honest with himself, he had to admit that bleeding his heart to Twilight earlier did feel… good. Therapeutic, in a sense; to simply talk. Rose was probably right: Twilight needed the exact same thing right now.

“Shit…” he muttered, averting his gaze.

“Take my advice.” Rose’s arm whipped itself and pointed in the direction they just came from. “Go talk to her.” She turned to follow after the other Liandri. “I’ll be waiting in our room.”

Alex’s eyes followed after Rose as she left him behind, eventually turning back towards the chapel doors. The two guards posted outside of it continued to stare ahead vigilantly, though he just barely managed to catch them staring at him and the Exo a split second before.

Time to play therapist, I guess… Alex thought and he directed the Exosuit back towards the chapel. As he approached, the pair of guards by the entryway channeled their magic in unison and opened the doors for him, revealing the singular pony within.

Alex blinked at the pony beyond. “Cadence?”

Indeed, instead of finding Twilight within the chapel, the pink pony princess to be wed herself stood at the top of the small set of stairs where the altar should have been, without any lavender unicorn in sight. Cadence said nothing, instead remaining stock still and staring back at Alex with her mouth slightly ajar, as if she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Were… Weren’t you just…?” Alex took a few steps inside and began to gesture behind himself with the Exosuit’s large arms, but paused to contort his face. “What are you doing back here?

“I-I-I was looking for Twilight!” she managed to say after her mouth flopped for only a second. Her wide eyed expression did nothing to hide the fact that she was surprised at Alex’s presence. “I wanted to clear a few things up! What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for Twilight too,” he answered, raising a brow. “Also, I think Shining Armor did a bang up job of clearing things up already…”

“Oh did he? Good! Good…” Cadence carefully sidestepped around the Exosuit, her eyes unnaturally drawn to her reflection in the chrome plated barrels of its mini-guns, of which she had already gotten an eyeful of from an extraordinarily safe distance earlier that day.

“Yeah,” said Alex, eying the princess curiously. “In fact, I think he went looking for you to, uh… comfort you.”

“He is? Oh, I-I should go find him, then. Thank you!” Before Alex could utter anything further, Cadence trotted out the chapel—perhaps even a bit more quickly than the usual trot.

Alex narrowed his eyes at her retreating form, silent as he watched her from a distance until she rounded the nearest corner down the hall. Okay, that was weird. He turned back towards the rest of the room, as if Twilight would suddenly appear now that Cadence was gone, but he remained the only individual.

Damn, I was only out for a minute, Alex thought to himself. Where the hell could Twilight have gone during that time? And why was Cadence back so quickly…? With the sound of several dull clunks, the Exosuit’s digitigrade legs folded closed, bringing the control compartment lower to the ground. The front of Exo hissed open, allowing Alex to climb out and work his limbs.

Twilight?!” he yelled, hoping she was at least within ear shot. “You there?!

Silence was his response.

Humming to himself, Alex climbed the steps up to the floral archway and beyond. The end of the chapel’s carpet led outside, but to a closed off balcony exposed to a cool, nightly breeze. Out of curiosity, Alex leaned over the edge to peer down, granting him the knowledge that beyond the balcony was a sheer drop.

One way in, one way out, he thought. She didn’t walk out, and there’s no way in hell she jumped. Did she teleport out? Twilight does have a tendency to do that… But to where? For one reason or another, Alex’s thoughts turned back to Cadence. Why was she here? She said she was looking for Twilight, but after everything that happened just a few minutes prior… He pursed his lips. It all just seems... off...

Pushing himself off from the edge of the balcony, Alex returned to the inside of the chapel and began to remount the Exosuit. Once inside, the entire machine hummed to life, the front closed over him, the legs stretched themselves out, and the faceplate fell over his visage, all coupled with a deep robotic voice speaking to him: “Initiating system.

As Alex directed the Exosuit out of the chapel, he said, “Twilight’s gone, Rose. Couldn’t find her.”

“Yes, I noticed,” came Rose’s voice.

“Then I assume you noticed Cadence in there as well?”

“I did. A rather peculiar question of why she was there at all. She also seemed bothered by your presence, to say the least.”

Alex clicked his tongue as the Exo stomped down the palace halls. “Oh good, so I guess I’m not the only one who thought she seemed off.”

“Not at all. But that still leaves the question of where Twilight is.”

“I think she teleported out. Where to, I have no idea. Look, I’m going to head up to our room. In the mean time, I want you to send a Red over to hers and she if she’s there. If she is, I’ll drop by.”

“And if she isn’t?”

Alex sucked in a breath. “Then we’ve got a problem.”


        A Nova opened the bedchamber door when Alex reached the top of the stairs, allowing the Exosuit to squeeze through. Once inside, he parked it in its previous spot and clambered out. “Still surprised the stairs can hold this thing’s weight…” he muttered.

        As Alex twisted his back and flexed his remaining muscles, Rose stood up from his chair and planted her hands on her hips. “We’ve got a problem.”

        Alex paused in his stretching. “Twilight’s not in her room?”

        Rose shook her head. “No, she isn’t. I’ve sent most of the other units to scour the palace to look for her, but they’ve turned up nothing so far. I also took the liberty of sending a unit to Cadence’s chambers.”

        Alex raised a brow. “And?”

        “Everyone else is with her,” was Rose’s answer, “and she’s crying her eyes out. She’s whining about this and that. Nothing important, really—just how stressful everything has been and how Twilight ‘doesn’t understand her feelings.’ ”

        “I take it she didn’t notice the bot, then?” Alex asked, his raised brow turning into a frown as he crossed one arm over the other.

        Rose shook her head. “No. She didn’t.”

        Alex averted his gaze as a plethora of thoughts and possibilities flooded his mind. “I’m starting to think Twilight may have been onto something…”

        “As am I. If I had to hazard a guess, your appearance in the chapel was nothing short of unexpected.”

        “Not to mention the fact that she’s suddenly whistling a very different tune right now…” Alex commended as he began to pace. “First running away crying, then she’s back in the chapel not crying, then crying again in her room… Either all those stereotypes about women have some kind validity to them, or something is going on. You think she has something to do with Twilight going MIA?”

        “Besides shaming her into leaving? I’m considering it as a serious possibility.”

        Alex paused in his pacing, now facing Rose. “And you’re not the only one…” He pointed a hand towards the Exosuit and snapped his fingers. “You. Up.” At his behest, the Exo clanked itself closed, rising to its full nine feet in height and awaiting further orders. “You stay in sentry mode until further notice.”

        “Command acknowledged,” the Exosuit’s powerfully deep synthetic voice announced. “Engaging sentry mode.” At those words, the Exo made a show of raising both of its miniguns and spinning each of their trio of barrels with a satisfying whir several times before aiming them directly ahead of itself.

        Now looking at Rose, Alex continued, “I want you to keep an unit on Cadence, and be subtle about it if you can. Have the rest of them looking for Twilight. Her parents live in Canterlot, so she could have gone there. If you can figure out where they live, that’d be a good place to start.”

        “Are you going to sleep in the meantime?” Rose asked.

        “Yeah,” Alex replied, as he walked over to his bag and extracted a small bottle containing melatonin pills. “I want to make sure I’m wide awake tomorrow, and that starts with knocking myself out tonight.” As he started to undress himself, he added, “And besides, you’ll be able to handle the search better than I could.”

        “Of that, I have no doubt.”

        “Exactly.” Alex flipped the light switch, plunging the room into darkness save for the streams of violet-tinted moonlight peeking through the curtains. His cybernetic eyes immediately adapted to the low-light environment, allowing him to find his way to the bed with all the ease that daytime would have allowed. As he sat on the bed, Alex popped open the bottle and rolled a tablet onto his palm. “I want you to wake me up at seven sharp to update me on the situation.”

        Rose nodded as she took the bottle from him. “Consider it done. And if I don’t find Twilight by then?”

        Alex paused with the pill mere inches from his mouth. “If you’ve searched every possible avenue, then I want every unit on high alert.” He popped the bitter medication into his mouth and did his best to swallow it without some form of drink to ease its passage. “Egh… With any luck, that won’t happen.”

        It took only mere moments for the effects of the pill to hit Alex head on as drowsiness overwhelmed him, barely giving him time to drag his feet up and bring the covers over himself. Now the only thing left for him to do would be to wait until morning.


This dream sequence is brought to you by an ever so slight gore warning. If you ask me, it's not that bad, and this warning probably isn't even necessary, but I'm plugging this in anyway.

        Alex pulled his hands free from the Hellbender’s inner workings and tossed his socket wrench onto the nearest tool box. Knocking on the vehicle’s frame twice and pushing himself away in the action, Alex called out, “Alright, fire it up!”

        His words were met with a the sound of the engine coughing on its fuel, sounds that were quickly replaced by the roar of that same fuel igniting and engaging the Tarydium powered half of the Hellbender’s engine.

        “That’s what I like to hear,” Alex said as he reached for a towel to wipe the grease off his new alabaster white hands. But was a little lubricant ever really a bad thing? Tossing his towel aside, Alex made a quick motion across his throat and the domestic unit sitting in the truck’s driver’s seat immediately shut off the engine.

        “Good shit,” Alex commented to himself as he made his way to the facility’s front door. “Hey, Rose! I’m breaking for lunch! I’ll be back in a bit.”

        Without so much as a whisper from the AI, the front door whirred open and closed as Alex passed through it unobstructed. Hands in his pockets and humming a random tune to himself, Alex strolled through Ponyville’s streets towards the town’s famous bakery—the go-to place for anyone wanting to treat themselves a bit. And while the sun shone unobstructed on this calm, windless day, it wasn’t until Alex was half-way across town that he noticed something out of place.

        There wasn’t a single pony in sight.

        His previous ministrations abruptly halted, Alex directed his gaze skyward and focused on whatever sounds he could hear. Where there would normally be at least a handful of pegasi flying above the town at any given time, now there were none. The birds which always seemed to be constantly chirping were now deathly silent as well.

        “...The fuck…?” Alex muttered as he glanced at the nearby houses, each one just as devoid of activity as the next. “Is… Is there something going on that I don’t know about…?”

        “Hi there!”

        “Shit!” Alex jumped at the sudden piercing voice coming from behind him. However, his heart calmed considerably when his brain finally caught up with him; recognizing the voice as Pinkie Pie’s. “Pinkie! God damn, you surprised me there. Hey, where is everyone?”

        Pinkie Pie stood in the middle of the road, some distance from him, which really attested to how well her voice carried. For the longest moment, she said nothing, and simply stared back at Alex with a smile and her head partially tilted. “What’s your name?”

        Alex blinked at her. “What? Pinkie, it’s me, Alex. I was just on my way to—”

        “Wanna play a game?” Pinkie suddenly asked, tilting her head in the opposite direction.

        “Wha…?” Alex narrowed his eyes. “Pinkie, no, I—”

        “Let’s play hide and seek!” She suddenly perked up, a massive grin adorning her face.

        “Pinkie, I’m sorry, but I don’t wanna play hide and—”

        As Alex attempted speaking over her, Pinkie ignored his words and continued with, “Here’s how you play: you run and hide, and I try to find and kill you!”

        Alex’s words died in his mouth. Wait, what did she just say?

        Before his mind could form any more thoughts, Pinkie yelled out “readysetgo!” and dashed towards him in an instant gallop. She was upon him in almost no time at all, leaping up with outstretched hooves and wild eyes.

        But, in just as much time, Alex’s body responded by taking a step back with his left foot and planting it. His left arm shot upwards and impacted the underneath of Pinkie’s hooves to bring them up with it. His right hand followed next, catching Pinkie just under her neck and following through with the motion that ultimately threw the pink pony over himself. “Pinkie what the fuck?!

        Pinkie Pie effortlessly rolled into the ground, catching one of her front hooves on a cobblestone which forced her momentum to swing her body back towards Alex. “Oh goodie! I love it when they fight back!”

        Oh fuck this! Contrary to Pinkie’s words, Alex’s fight or flight response decided land on the other side of the coin, and he bolted in the opposite direction. The servos in his legs kicked into gear as they accelerated to olympian speeds. All he had to concentrate on was putting one leg in front of the other and the computers would do the rest. But despite his speed, the clopping of hooves against stone only grew louder.

        The reason for this made itself painfully obvious when a set of hooves wrapped itself around Alex’s midsection, dragging him down towards the cobblestone road and eliciting sparks against his limbs from the abrupt contact. While supporting himself on one arm, Alex did his best to twist and shove Pinkie off with the other; an effortless endeavor as the pink menace backed off just enough to allow him to flip over onto his back.

        However, the relief was short lived when Pinkie pounced yet again, raising a hoof high to bring it down and strike. Alex’s hand shot out to catch the offending hoof to prevent it from crushing his head, and then the other when the first hit failed to connect.

        As Alex attempted to force the hooves away from himself, Pinkie brought her face down. At some point, her eyes had turned bloody and her teeth had become fangs. “I’ll strap you down to a table and use your flesh to make cupcakes!” she snarled in a distorted voice that belonged to something else.

        Do not allow this fleshling to frighten you.

        Okay, this thing is not Pinkie! With a snarl of his own, Alex snuck a leg under his attacker and kicked her off, sending her shrieking safely away. He wasted no time pushing himself up to his feet while his assailant did the same. “Alright! You want me? Come get me!”

        Destroy this abomination.

        The thing disguised as Pinkie let out an ear piercing screech before leaping at him once again, though with wide open jaws. Alex instinctively brought up his arm for protection, which the ravenous pony immediately latched onto like a rabid dog, thrashing as violently as possible in an attempt to rend flesh from bone—flesh that simply didn’t exist anymore.

        Make this animal feel regret.

        With a roar, Alex brought his other cybernetic arm back and swung. The synthetic fist connected with the side of Fakie Pie’s head, scraping her teeth against the shell of his bitten arm. However, the hit had accomplished its intended effect, leaving her stunned just long enough for Alex to bring a foot up and kick the imposter in the withers, knocking her over.

        Show it how flawed it is.

        Alex left her no time to recover by jumping on Demon-Pinkie and pinning her with his body weight. Before giving her any time to retaliate, Alex grabbed onto the fur of her chest with his left hand and raised his right.

        Witness!

        He brought his fist down across her head, shuddering against the crack of shattered bone and dislodged teeth as blood flew up and corrupted the white shell of his augmentations.

        My!

        His fist came down upon her head again, resulting in a much squishier response as his cybernetic knuckles made contact with her pulverized skull.

        PERFECTION!

        Alex raised his arm for a final blow, his teeth bared and a raging tropical inferno within his glowing oculi. However, he stayed his hand. Pinkie’s watery sky blue eyes stared back up at him, a sticky mess of blood staining the fur all around her muzzle and temple. Her body twitched and breathing rasped in an attempt to wheeze around the misplaced fluids. Her hooves loosely gripped at Alex’s forearm as she barely managed to gasp out a single word. “Why…?” No sooner had she done that did her eyes drift upwards and her grip loosen altogether, a final breeze escaping her throat.

        Alex finally allowed his grip to let go, becoming painfully aware of his own irregular breathing. His hold on her had been so tight that the skin around his hold had actually begun to tear and bleed. The expression of rage he held just half a moment ago vanished, suddenly replaced with the terror of his own actions.

        “Oh god…” he mumbled, stumbling off of her and landing on his rear, unable to keep himself standing against his artificially adrenaline-fueled heart beat. The streaks of red liquid contrasted brilliantly against the scratched snow white surface of his arms. “Oh god… No… Pink… I… I didn’t… No… No…”

        The sharp ring of metal clapping against metal silenced Alex’s already muted sobs, drawing his attention away from Pinkie’s limp form. Leaning against a nearby building was a Liandri in green armor that slowly clapped with plated hands, its emerald gaze focused purely on him.

        “Not bad,” it spoke, continuing its slow clap. “There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. But it’s not bad for first blood.”

        “First blood…?” As carefully as humanly possible, Alex pushed himself to his feet, uncharacteristically stable where anyone would have expected the adrenaline to cause his legs to quake uncontrollably. His eyes never left the unwelcomed stranger as he balled his fists and exposed his teeth. “Just who do you think you are…?!” he growled.

        The Liandri ceased clapping and folded its arms against itself, chuckling at the human’s perceived defiance.

        “I am perfection.”