Chapter seventeen: Tears and Love
The first rays of sunlight penetrated the night, causing me to stir and slowly open my eyes. Blinking a few times, I took my surroundings in. Lavender was laying at my side in peaceful slumber, and I had no intention of waking her.
Ever so slowly, I got up and made my way to the kitchen. My first glance was at the clock, telling me that I had barely an hour until work. The second was towards the door that led to the living room, where I could hear some soft snoring.
Carefully, I walked in just to find High Spirits sleeping on the sofa. For a few moments I had no idea why she was there, before it all came back to me. The whole day before.
She had agreed to stay here in case something happens.
High Spirits turned in her sleep before mumbled, "Electric Blue".
The name caused my veins to freeze as that memory came back. I had killed Electric Blue. It was to save her from a painful fate with the queen in the end, but still, I had killed High Spirit’s mate.
Quickly, I turned around and started to prepare breakfast in the kitchen. It was a wonder that High Spirits didn't hate me now. It wasn't something I was grateful for.
Something else came into my mind. After my actions at work that day, Lightning and Deep Blue would demand answers. I hoped that High had some sort of explanation ready, because I had nothing at all.
"Morning," High Spirits mumbled sleepily as she entered the kitchen.
"Good morning," I said back, trying to hide the emotions of what I had just finished thinking of.
"What's for breakfast? We gotta head out soon," she said with a glance at what I was doing.
"Just some sandwiches, Lavender is still asleep," I replied with a smile.
"That's fine. And don't worry about work. I talked with Deep Blue about it, and she had heard about the fire. She and Lightning won't judge you for yesterday. They said that they could understand your worry and panic.
"That's good," I sighed, "One less problem."
"I thought about Lavender's shop. We can rebuild it if we work together," High said with a smile, "It will take some work, but nothing we couldn't do together. And now that we're on your side, the queen will think twice before trying to hurt you two."
"We still have to be careful," I reminded her as I sat the plateful of sandwiches down, just in time for Lavender's sleepy muzzle to show up in the door.
"Good morning, beautiful," I greeted her, quickly followed by a long and passionate kiss.
"Good morning to you, too," she giggled back sleepily.
I saw it out of the corner of my eye when I kissed Lavender, the hurt on High Spirit’s face. I didn’t know how she didn’t hate me, how she didn’t try and kill me. Had our situations been reversed, I would hate her with all my being.
It was the last placed I wanted to look, but my eyes were simply drawn to hers. High had a look of such pain in her eyes, but there was something else there, something beyond pain.
She’s a better mare than I could ever hope to be.
“Are you going to be in trouble for leaving work early?” Lavender asked.
I was startled by the question almost as much as I was thankful for the distraction. I turned to Lavender and said, “No, they know about the fire. We should be fine.”
She turned to High, "And what about yesterday? Won't there be any questions? I doubt that anything you did managed to stay a secret."
That was something I hadn't thought about until that moment. I might have been able to stay disguised, but using my magic in the middle of the town seemed suicidal when I thought back.
“Are you okay?” Lavender asked me. I should’ve guessed that she’d see the worry upon my face.
I laughed at that, “It’s not me I’m worried about.”
“I am,” she replied.
“The events of yesterday are already being taking care of,” High stated, causing me to look at her, shocked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“The queen may be a total bitch, but she’s smart. Some of our targets are disguised as high ranking ponies in this town. Let’s just say that they’ll go out of their way to keep any traces of changelings from hitting the news.”
"High ranks? So that means we could have other problems really soon?" Lavender asked with concern in her eyes.
“Yes, but not right away. She’s not stupid. They won’t make any moves after such a public event. She’ll wait for things to calm down, for ponies to forget.”
“So one day they’ll show up with guards and arrest us all?” I asked.
“If we wait that long,” High confirmed.
“But why didn’t she,” I paused in my question.
What was the real reason she sent me after that news pony? Why did she have me target him if she could just silence him at the clop of a hoof?
Only one reason. She was just playing her game.
Shaking off the troubling thought, the thought that I might have killed a pony without reason, without it being necessary for Lavender’s safety, I turned back to my sandwich.
Lavender seemed to sense this and started rubbing a hoof down my back, "We will make it through this, together," she reassured me with a loving gaze.
Somehow, I believed her. If I had to guess, I’d say it was that face, the way her eyes just reflected the truth of the world, no… it was deeper than that. In truth, I didn’t see her eyes, I didn’t see her face, I didn’t see the disguise she wore, I simply saw her, I saw who she was under the disguise, who she really was.
My smile soon matched hers.
"How's our egg doing?" I asked her softly while nuzzling her, causing High Spirits to gasp behind us.
“You’re… you’re… you’re,” she mumbled, unable to fully articulate her question.
"Yes, I am," Lavender said with a smile before kissing me, "It's fine, and will start to grow soon."
I couldn’t help myself. Scooting our chairs that much closer, I placed my hoof over her stomach, hoping that I could feel something, anything to show the life we created together.
"It's too early for that," she giggled, but held my hoof where it was.
“This… this… didn’t you two just meet?” High asked, finally finding her tongue.
"We already met years ago in the hive. I was just too blind to see her," I replied with a smile.
"You two don't have any clue what will happen once that foal is born," High mumbled.
"I thought changeling newborns are simple drones?" Lavender asked with a raised eyebrow.
“She won’t be a drone, she’ll be a half-breed. That means she’ll be able to have children,” High stated.
“So?” Lavender asked.
“Children, plural. As in not limited to one. And because she was born as she is, she’ll be able to mate with anyone, not just stallions,” High sighed, "She will be the perfect half breed, the perfect balance of the two species. Something the queen is afraid of."
That caused me to think of something, something that sent a chill through my spine, “Will she be able to control our daughter?”
"She thinks so. But I doubt that. Even with the changeling blood from Lavender in her, her other half will always be you, and the queen just can't control you."
That caused me a huge sense of relief, still, it did mean that she would be in our daughter’s head, she would be speaking to our daughter. There was a renewed sense of urgency in trying to figure out how we could break others from her control.
"Why do you keep calling it a her? We don't know if it’s a colt or a filly yet," Lavender exclaimed.
"A mare fertilizing a mare's egg. I'm pretty sure that she will be a filly," High huffed.
I turned to Lavender and smiled, in truth I didn’t care if we had a colt or a filly, but knowing what it was going to be, it made me smile, “We’re going to have a little filly.”
"Ugh, Celestia help us. Do you have any idea how bad her first heat will be?" Lavender asked me with mocked dramatics.
That caused me to giggle. In truth, I had no idea, not having been a changeling when I first went through it. ut still, as strange as it sounded, I was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to helping her with everything. The good and the bad, “We’ll deal with it together,” I said with a kiss, “But first, we need to deal with your shop.”
“My shop?” Lavender asked.
“Rebuilding it,” I replied, “Unless… you don’t want to?”
“I want to, but how? I saved some bits, but they will barely be enough for new furniture, not the whole building,” she replied.
“That’s where Rosewing, Silver Speed and I come into play. We know every single account the queen uses for their extra bits. And we will take them,” High Spirits smiled evilly.
“Make her pay for her own damages, I like it,” I replied with an equal smile to High Spirit’s.
“Umm… you two… I,” Lavender started to say, then stopped when we turned to her.
“What is it?” High asked.
“Lavender, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Is it wise?” She asked sheepishly, “I mean… it may really tick her off, I don’t think I need to remind you she’s dangerous, and we have,” Lavender ran a hoof over her stomach, indicating exactly whom she was afraid for.
“There's exactly our point. We will only raid the deposits we three created. She won’t even know what happened,” High Spirits winked at Lavender.
“Besides,” I said as I lifted her chin with a hoof, “She’s exactly the reason why we have to do this.”
“What?” Lavender asked.
“We have to keep her safe, but if we do nothing, she’ll win. She’ll keep trying and trying, and she’s only gotta get lucky once. I won’t let that happen, to you, or to her,” to place emphasis on my comment, I placed my hoof back on her stomach.
She pondered about it for a moment, looking deep into my eyes. After a bit, she smiled and nodded, “Alright. You know I trust you with all of my heart.”
“Good,” I replied before looking at High Spirits, “So, what now?”
“We go to work. Silver Speed and Rosewing will prepare everything,” High Spirits looked at the clock, “Oh, damn it! We got four minutes to be at work!” she suddenly yelled.
I got up at that, leaving Lavender one last kiss before we both made for the door. As High Spirits opened it, Rosewing greeted us before stepping in. She would watch over Lavender, and I could be sure that she would be protected. It removed a large weight from my shoulders. Of course, I would have rather stayed with her, but I had to work after all.
High Spirits took off in the direction of the weather team’s offices. I paused before following her, whispering my last comment to Rosewing, “Keep her safe.”
“With my life,” Rosewing replied with a smile.
Nodding back, I took off, easily catching up to High Spirits, “What was that about?” she asked.
“One final promise,” I cryptically replied and increased my speed.
We wouldn’t make it on time, regardless of how fast we flew. Only a pony capable of breaking the speed of sound could cover the distance in four minutes, and I was definitely not such a pony, or changeling for that matter.
Still, I gave High Spirits quite the workout, something she was cursing me for near the end.
“You… suck,” High stated when we landed at the front office.
“Emm, no. You suck,” I replied back, sticking out my tongue in playful banter.
“Well well, look who finally decided to show up,” Deep Blue stated with a frown on her face.
“Hey, Blue,” I replied.
“Don’t ‘hey, Blue’ me,” she replied back, sternly, “You left in the middle of a shift, causing that area to get thirty minutes less rainfall than it should have. What do you have to say for yourself?!”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat, Lavender’s shop was burning down,” I replied back, my tone indicating how I felt about being asked such a dumb question.
She didn’t say anything for half a minute. She just stared at me, seeing if I’d break. When at last it was apparent that I wouldn’t, she sat back on her haunches and spoke, “Good answer.”
The smile on her face told me that she had just been bucking with me. I soon smiled back, partly over how funny it was and partly over the absurdity of the situation.
“I am amazed to see you in today, I figured you’d have taken the day off.”
“Gotta work, the sole provider for the time being,” I said back with a chuckle.
“Especially since she’s got a family now!” High stated through her big muzzle.
“Wait… what?!” Blue said, shocked.
“HIGH!” I scowled, causing her to quickly step back.
That idiot will blow our cover!
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you and Lavender wanted to keep your coming adoption a secret.”
“Wait, you two are planning to adopt, Dew?”
“Umm… yeah, we put in the paperwork last week. It takes a few months to get approved though,” I replied, realizing where High was coming from.
“Then they’ll have a little bundle of joy running around,” High said, jokingly.
“You gotta bring em by afterwards, we’d love to see your new foal.”
“Well… maybe after our foal grows a bit, we want her to accommodate to us first.”
Besides, I don’t know if she has a natural disguise like me.
“Her?”
“We’ll adopt a filly,” I replied simply.
“Hey, if you three are done screwing around, we got work to do!” Lightning Bolt yelled at us from across the room.
Saved by the bucking bell! Better to start work then to let High ride us in the gutter.
I had to admit, that day was a lot of fun. The queen might have been evil, but she placed me in the perfect spot to work. Without the worry for Lavender’s safety, or the enmity between me and High Spirits, we all had a ton of fun. Near the end of the day, Blue and I actually managed to assemble a cloud playground while discussing how much fun it would be to watch my new filly play on it.
On the way home, I got exactly five offers for a fillister, three offers to teach me how to change diapers, and everypony was practically demanding that we invite them over when she arrived.
“You know that’s going to cause more issues than I care to count,” I said to High on our flight home.
She simply smiled at me, “Hey, you can’t keep it a secret, better they know now so they can get used to the idea.”
“And HOW in Equestria are we going to tell them where she came from if Lavender is at the hospital... forget that, hospital is no option. But if they see a one or two week old foal in our home? You CAN’T adopt foals that early, High!” I growled, part of it shouting at her.
She laughed at me, flying underneath me as she smiled, “You know next to nothing about changelings, huh? We’re the equivalent of a six month old foal when we hatch.”
“Oh, and you are miss smartypants who knows that she can ACT like one, too?” I asked with a frown.
“Relax, Aurora. You don’t have to invite anyone over until she’s fully able to take on her disguise. Changeling foals are naturally very obedient to their mothers.”
“You remember she’s not a fully-fledged changeling, right?”
“True… should be the same though,” she laughed again.
“SHOULD?!”
“Hey, relax! I never had a foal,” she mumbled, slightly hurt.
She’s thinking about Electric Blue again.
That thought drained my fight. Yes, this was unexpected, and a little unwanted, but in a way she was right. They’d know sooner or later, so what did it matter if it was now? I’d need some excuse as to where my foal came from, and this was better than nothing.
My foal.
“There’s that smile again,” High said with a laugh.
“Smile?” I asked.
“Whenever you’re with Lavender, or I imagine you’re thinking about her, you get that smile on your face. I’ve known you for a day, and I can already spot it.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Oh yeah. I remember it from,” her mood darkened again.
I stopped flying forward, forcing her to turn back around and fly back to me, “Hey, High, can I ask you a question?”
“Don’t,” she said.
I didn’t listen, Celestia help me, I didn’t listen, “Why don’t you hate me?”
Tears started falling from her eyes at that. She fell a few hooves in the air, and only stayed airborne by forcing her wings to flap. However, to her credit she looked me dead in the eye when she said what she said next.
“I do.”
“What?”
“I hate you, I hate every fiber of your being. I hate that she’s dead and her murderer gets to live. I hate that you took her from me, that I’ll never see her smile again, that I’ll never hug her, kiss her, or tell her I love her ever again. I hate you more than I can hate anyone ever for taking her from me.”
“Then why are you helping me?!”
“Because she would’ve wanted me to,” Tears were falling freely now. Almost as if it were a never ending downfall of pain coming from her eyes, “She would've wanted me to help you, to help us, to help myself. You… you have no idea how lucky you are, how fortunate you are to have a family, to have a love, and I hate that about you. I hate that you get what I’ll now never have. But… but I don’t do this for you, I do it for her. For her memory.”
“High.”
“When I do die, when I see her again, I want to be able to face her, to let her know that her sacrifice was not in vain. If I can do that, I’ll be able to hold my head high.”
“HIGH!”
“What?” she blinked.
“Who said that you’ll never love again? She will wait for you, true, but that doesn’t mean that you have to live a cruel life now and greet death with open arms!” I said.
“Move on… Could you? Could you move on if Lavender was killed?”
“She would expect me to. Clinging to past love might be good for the heart, but it will kill your soul and everything else,” I replied, and it was the truth.
“My soul died when she did,” High stated, then started to turn around.
“You stubborn idiot!” I shouted, causing her to freeze dead in her tracks, “Do you think I wanted her death? You told me yourself that you all had to keep the play up for the queen until the end. The others even told you that she wasn’t ready, yet you cling to it. You are a stupid little foal! Was that what she would’ve wished for you? Stop putting shame on yourself, and stop putting shame on her!” I yelled with all my might.
She didn’t reply, she didn’t do anything. She simply hovered in place. It took me exactly five seconds to figure out what she was doing. She was crying. She was simply sobbing.
With a sigh, I unfolded my wings and pulled her into my embrace. She struggled and cried louder at first, but soon stopped, “I’m sorry!” she sobbed, “I hate you, I really hate you, but you’re right. I don’t know if I can let it ever drop, but I know that you didn’t want it. I know that it is mostly my fault that she is gone! I know that I killed her!” she sobbed, staining my coat with all her tears, but I didn’t care about that. I simply held her.
“You really are an idiot,” I said back before realizing that I was sobbing, too, “You didn’t kill her, you weren’t responsible for her death at all.”
“Yes I was,” she whispered.
“You said she was headstrong, let me ask you this. If you had told her to stay home, if you had forced her, locked her in her room, what would she have done? Would she have listened?”
She went silence at that, “No,” she whispered after a while with wide eyes, “She always wanted to be at my side, or at least help me.”
“We’re all a victim of our situations, situations she put us in. If you want to hate me, hate me. If you blame me for her death, do it. I’m the one that killed her, I’m the one that took her from this world. But never, not once, ever blame yourself. This is not your fault. She went because of her, she was killed because of me.”
“You… you gave her mercy… you made it so she didn’t suffer.”
“And I still regret it. I would’ve saved her if I had known a way,” I spoke softly before looking directly into her eyes, “High, I promise you something on my life. I will search for a way to rescue every single changeling that doesn’t want to stay under the queen. And I will find a way to rescue them alive!”
“No.”
“No?” I asked.
“No, promise me that you’ll take care of your family. Find a way to prevent your daughter from ever being under her thrall, I’ll free the changelings with it.”
“I promise it, High,” I replied confidently.
She hugged me then. I felt her breath on the side of my neck, the tears in her eyes, and the shaking of her sobbing body, but still, she hugged me.
“I still hate you,” she said.
“I know.”
“But we’re in this together.”
“I’d expect nothing less from my foal’s godmother.”
She pulled back at that, “What?”
“I have to talk with Lavender about it, but yeah, if you're willing, I’d like you to be her godmother.”
“I… I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Yes is generally appropriate,” I chuckled.
“YES!” she said with a cry of joy.
Together we flew back to the house, the mood was changed between us. I knew she still hated me, and I didn’t begrudge her a bit. But I also knew she’d be the most loyal friend I could ask for. In the end, that’s all I could ever hope to ask for.
“I’ll talk with Lavender about it tonight,” I said when we landed on the front porch and opened the door.
I got exactly three steps away when a sharp cry of pain sounded from behind me. It sounded like every nerve ending in the poor mare was lit on fire all at once. I quickly turned back, trying to find the source of the noise. To my horror, it was coming from High Spirits.
She was holding her head, crying out like it was on fire.
“HIGH!” I shouted.