I sat on the bed in silence, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he just stared at me for the next minute or so. I became extremely impatient, "Well go on! Talk! Who were they, why did they leave me in Ponyville, where are they?" I asked question after question, getting louder and angrier all the while. "What happened?! WHAT WAS SO WRONG THAT THEY HAD TO LEAVE THEIR ONLY DAUGHTER?!" Before I knew what was happening I found myself screaming and seconds from tears. Sunny quickly rose from his bed and sat down next to me. He put his foreleg around my shoulders while I lowered my head and tried to calm down.
I was out of breath and exhausted. Eventually I looked up at Sunny and quieted my voice, "Tell me."
He looked at me and I saw sadness on his face, that was not a good sign. "Alright," he began, "Twenty years ago, your mother and father got married. He had a very fulfilling job manufacturing and perfecting snowflakes at the weather factory and she was a successful real estate agent. Your mother was so determined to make sales that if a client wouldn't listen to reason or bargain, she would scare them into buying." At this point he looked up as if in nostalgia and chuckled.
"She was always getting into trouble with her bosses; nothing serious of course. Your father was a more by the books kind of pony. He did his work quietly and followed the rules. But don't let that fool you, if he had to, he would kill for his friends and family. These two opposites were perfect for each other." He stopped and took his hoof off my shoulder.
I stared at him and didn't speak.
"A few years passed," he continued, "and then everything changed."
I was at the edge of my seat, "What happened?"
He sighed and took a deep breath, "One day your mother said she wasn't feeling well, so your father took her to the doctor."
"And?" I held my breath for I feared the worst.
"After a few tests...it turned out she had cancer."
NO! NO! That can't be right! She can't be....
"But it wasn't all bad news. Turns out she was also pregnant." He looked at me and tried to smile, but he knew I would not return it. I couldn't smile even if I wanted to; in fact I could hardly breathe. "When they got that news, believe me, they asked every question they could think of."
He turned his head again and looked down. "The doctors said you had next to no chance of living and being born," he paused for a second. Suddenly his head shot back up and he stood up and looked me in the eyes, "But you were a fighter, just like your mom. Everyone doubted you along the way but you never gave up."
I realized he was talking in passed tense when he spoke of my mom. I knew what that meant; my worst nightmare was true. "Did she die?" I don't know why I asked, I knew the answer was yes.
"She is now dead, yes," he put his hoof on my shoulder again. Why did this have to happen to me; what did I do to deserve it? I felt horrible, so sad and so angry; I will never get to...to talk to my mom, to tell her about my day, tell her I love her.
"But she lived long enough to hold you and give you a name." His words managed to get through to me a little. I knew what he was trying to do, but it didn't make me feel any better. Then a thought rushed into my head.
"Well why didn't my father raise me; he could of done it." I need answers; if my father raised me, he could have told me about my mother. But he didn't, and he even tried to hide the fact that my mother's dead by making it sound as though she was still alive in the letters.
Sunny's face became very long, I could tell there was something else. "Your father gave you up for adoption because...because your mother asked him to." What?! Why would she do that? Why would she ruin what little time she had with me? It made no sense!
"But....but?"
"By the time you had been born your mother had begun to...show her sickness. Her entire appearance was changing. When she held you in the hospital, she knew that you would have to grow up never knowing what she really looked like. You would have had to slowly watch her die every day, helpless to stop it. No. No she couldn't bare that. Instead she told your father to send you away with the hopes that you would one day get to enjoy a true family, not plagued with tragedy. That's why they left you in Ponyville."
So there it was, I found what I was looking for....Damn it. I didn't know what to think or do. Part of me loves what they did because they were protecting me; but part of me also wanted to scream in anger because it was selfish that they didn't even give me a chance. Maybe I wouldn't have cared about the cancer, maybe I wouldn't have cared what my mother looked like. I sure wouldn't care right now.
And why didn't my father just say no, or talk my mother out of it? He could have done that. He could have done something! I started to get angry, furious. I had been cheated, cheated out of my real life. "Is my father still alive?"
Sunny was shocked at my response, I looked at him with very serious eyes. I needed to tell my father how I feel, I needed to yell, I needed to scream! "You father..." he took a few steps back. He acted strange. "Your father as I knew him died along with your mother."
Your father as I knew him? What did that mean? "He's alive isn't he."
Sunny paused and looked to the ground, "Yes."
"Where is he?"
He took a deep breath, "He's-"
Sunny was cut off by a loud bang coming from the door. BANG! BANG! Again and again. "Mr. Speeder, we know your in there. Open the door please."
The voice outside was strong and forceful. I looked at Sunny and could not believe the horrible timing of this outburst. THIS COULDN'T HAVE WAITED TWO MORE SECONDS! But both Sunny and I knew we had to answer. So Sunny opened the door to find a large stallion in a police uniform.
"Sunbeam Speeder?"
"Yes?" Sunny gulped.
"Your under arrest for attempted murder. Please come with me."