They really believe a few shiny rocks can stop me? Me? The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony? Oh, that is hilarious! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Ha.
Why can't I move?
Oh cotton candy mixed with onions up a dancing giraffe...
Six hours later
...and four buffalos tap dancing on a sardine cake!
Right. Enough swearing. Where am I? Or more importantly, what am I? I can still feel me. Sort of. I still can't move. I'm also more...solid?
I'm a statue, aren't I?
Oh, barbecue sauce...
Four hours later
OK! I'm a statue. Better accept it. Acceptance is the first step, after all. Of course I had to get hit with my eyes closed. I can still hear, though. Birds twittering. A gentle breeze. I can feel that a bit.
Who would have thought that tree would work? I knew it was powerful, but not that powerful. I should've planted those seeds earlier. I wonder if they're still around, or did the elements take those out too?
Is there any way out of here? Maybe if I... Hmm. Solid. No movement. No cracks. Nothing. The elements would have to cause something fool proof to contain the Spirit of Chaos, I suppose.
Bother.
How long will I be stuck here? Those girls were always going on about friendship and harmony and that garbage. Surely they'll take pity on me? Or was that skunk in the bath a step too far?
Oh, hoofsteps. Glad to know I get visiting rights.
"Are you sure he can't get out?"
"Have faith in the elements, Luna. If they can trap him in stone and purge the land of his chaos, I'm sure they can keep him in there for a while."
Please continue, Celestia. I don't think you rubbed it in enough.
"Then...it is truly over? We can finally have peace?"
"Yes, dear sister. Although I have a feeling our subjects are going to want to celebrate."
"Do you think he can hear us?"
"I'm not sure. He looks so...still. Like he's not alive. Like...he never was."
I hate you.
So Princess Celly and Princess Lulu lived happily ever after in their new castle while Discord could only listen to their airy fairy comments about how perfect everything is while he wishes he could tear his ears off. How long has it been? A few weeks? If my sanity wasn't already questionably I would be worried about it.
I WANT TO MOVE!
I want to run and jump and fly and cast magic and see what it would be like if a tree mated with an octopus. But no! I'm a statue!
Excuse me while I have another swearing session.
Half an hour later
I'm even running out of decent swears! Still, at least there has been something mildly interesting to hear. It seems Lulu is feeling a bit underappreciated. Any other time I would scoff and give the complainer something to actually complain about. But as I'm a statue, I'll take what I can get. Anyway, moon princess is a bit jealous of her older sister since everyone's asleep when it's time for her to be the most important pony in the world. Why don't they switch every ten seconds? Much more fun. I might file that one away, just in case there is some miracle.
I wish I could scratch my nose.
I wish I could scratch other parts, too.
Hmm. What was that?
If my senses are correct, the moons up, and it shouldn't be. There's some sort of dark energy connected to it. Does Luna know? Oh wait. She is the dark energy.
What d'you know? Daphne was right. I must pay the old girl a visit.
Oh right. I can't.
I'm a statue.
There's an awful lot of explosions going on. At least someone's having fun.
Hey! That blast almost hit me!
So from what I can gather, Lulu turned into Nightmare Moon, tried to take over Equestria (did I rub off on her?) but was defeated when Celly used the elements against her. I thought sisters were supposed to love each other? I'm aware of sibling arguments and wrestling matches, but banishing your baby sister to the moon seems a little harsh. Especially for an element bearer.
Hang on.
Those two are connected to the elements. But one used them against the other. Not harmonious at all, which means the connection must be broken. Which means...
Nope. Still stuck. The spell seems to be in some sort of stasis. Like it's frozen. Oh yeah, because I'm not frozen enough already. But this means that when the stasis is broken, this statue spell will be broken. What did Daphne say? Something about the sun and moon colliding? Moon banished for...a hundred - no - a thousand years? Nightmare returns and the elements will seek out new bearers.
Right. Luna's banishment will last one thousand years. She will return and the elements will take new bearers, probably so she can be stopped again. And when the elements make that new connection, the stasis will be broken, which means...
Freedom.
I do hope I didn't use that much logic. I might just barf.
Getting moved to a new home. The old castle was destroyed in the sisters' scuffle. Apparently the place will be called 'Canterlot', and I will be placed in the royal gardens. How lovely. Or I'm sure they would be, if I could see anything!
Moving day! I do hope the princess has made the proper arrangements. Oh, I think I hear my escorts.
"This must be him."
"Ugly, isn't he?"
I heard that.
"Let's get him loaded. Don't bother being gentle. Scum bag doesn't deserve it."
Isn't the fact that I'm stuck in this ridiculous position for a millennium punishment enough?
"Easy does it."
I'm being loaded on a cart. An ordinary wooden cart. What am I, a piece of furniture?
No, I'm a lawn ornament. Silly me. I forgot.
Trip here was bumpy. I've discovered I can't feel pain, but I could still feel the bangs and crashes as I was tossed about the cart. It was an odd sensation. Usually I like odd, but as you have probably guessed, I've not been in the best of moods for the past few years. I'm not even sure who I'm talking to.
Celestia visited me when I arrived. Thanks to her super duper alicorn powers I can sense when she's nearby. She didn't say anything. Just stood there for a while then walked off. Charming.
My nose is itchy again.
It must have been a while since the start of my imprisonment as the ponies who come across me don't know who I am. I've become a faded legend. So has Nightmare Moon. Just bedtime stories for naughty foals. I would swear again, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Nightmare Moon will return, then I can return, and I'll show Equestria exactly who and what I am, and what I can do. HA HA HA HA HA!
Evil laughter is no fun when there's no-one listening.
Today is a record for how many 'gifts' I have received from birds. Can't wait to hear the cleaner's reaction.
As I suspected, it was glorious.
Celestia just walked past without even glancing. I need to get out of here!
Against my instinct, I used some mental arithmetic today. I heard some ponies talking about the 850th anniversary of the founding of Canterlot, which means I only have to suffer for one and a half century longer. Time flies when you're having fun.
Except I'm not having fun.
I believe I was just vandalised by a group of teenaged hoodlums. They are going straight on my list, assuming they'll still be alive when I'm out.
Oh, great. A new princess. Just what we need. Mi Amore Cadenza? Her mother should be in here, not me.
Tomorrow is the Summer Sun celebration (guess who invented that holiday). According to Daphne, that is the day Luna comes back. If I could move I'm sure I would be shaking in anticipation. How long will it take for the elements to find new bearers? It had better not be another thousand years (though a thousand years of darkness does have a good ring to it). Will they stop her straight away? Will they banish her again? Will that incessant robin SHUT UP?!
She's back.
Well, that was quick. Within the space of a few hours Nightmare Moon came down, kicked up a fuss, there was some screaming, the elements found new wielders and it's happy families again. Yep, Luna is back to her normal, boring self. Why the elements didn't do that the first time round I don't know. But I'm not complaining. After all this waiting my chance is finally here. The spell is broken. I'm finally free!
...
Why can't I move?
Oh, candle balls...
One hour later
One advantage to time moving forward: more swear diversity.
So, the stasis the elements were in is definitely gone, which leaves the stone spell that was originally cast. Now the elements are no longer backing it up, it is fallible, but still strong. Time to get my magic firing up again.
Now the spell is weaker, I can sense a lot more around me such as the energy and magic of ponies who walk past as part of their tour of the gardens. Not only sense, but use. The Spirit of Chaos may be a lowly statue in the palace gardens, but chaos still exists. A little disagreement here, a little random event there, just enough fuel for me to weaken the spell further. It's taking a while, but after several centuries I can almost taste the end of this torment. Oh, I am going to incur so much wrath when I'm out.
Just...a little...more. It's hanging by a thread. Please...please...
Another school trip. These are always fun. You did catch the sarcasm, right?
Yes, yes, I'm a draconequus. Callou, callay. I'm a statue that represents disharmony and stuff.
Three of the fillies are having a bit of a falling out. Exactly what I need.
I cracked.
Literally.
I felt it.
Squee!
Did I just say 'squee'?
I've been around foals for too long.
Time for the home stretch.
I'M OUT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I'M FREE!
FREEDOM!
Ow! My back!
Right, can't believe I'm saying this, but research time. Hey, I've been gone a while, and I'm sure Celly's going to want to put me back as soon as possible. I need to know what I'm up against. Doesn't mean I can't multitask.
Well, I'm a little surprised she got them back together again, but come on! Their friendship was so easily distorted. What hope do they have?
How can they possibly be more powerful than me?
Ugh. She's seriously lecturing me? It's kinda cute in a pathetic way. Oh, yes, the power of friendship, I underestimated them, blah blah blah.
Does she even know what she's saying? Does she really believe they are enough to power the - why are their necklaces glowing?
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-!
Poo.
I lasted longer than Nightmare Moon, right?
Where's that crossword puzzle I was doing?