"Punch. Punchy. Puuuuuuuunchy."
"Ugh." The violet mare turned her head to the other purple mare. "Wha... what is it Leelee?"
"I'm drunk." A giggle came from the schoolteacher's lips, interrupted half-way through by a hiccup.
"And I'm hung-over," Berry Punch groaned, putting her head under her pillow.
Cheerilee gasped, hiccuped, and continued her gasp. "You? Hungover? Shay it *hic* it ain't scho!"
Berry groaned into her pillow. "You just had to be a dramatic drunk, didn't you..."
"My big Sishtah, she'sh hungover!" Cheerilee wailed, throwing her body over the bed.
"OOOOMPH! Uuuuuugh..."
"She'sh shupposhed to be *hic* unfallappable with alcove--alicorn--alkaline... *hic*.... boozche!" The school teacher poked her sister's flank. "Ish her speshial talent and everything! Mashter of the boooooooooo*hic*oooooooooozche. Only she can schtop the boooozche!"
"I'll stop your booze if you don't get off me," Berry grumbled. "How did you even get in here, anyway?"
"You, you schaid, 'Leelee! Leelee, I'sh gotta *hic* tescht some new brews. Scho, can'sh you be a goodiegood auntie an, an watch over Ruby while I do'sh that?" Cheerilee giggled. "And I diiiiiiid, big Sishter. I watched her *hic* do her homeworking like a good filly, and we played thish really cutesh boardgame, and, and *hic* when you stumbled in drunk she, she started spouting thesche *hic* orders. And you'd do your bescht to follow them, and I wasch sho worried until Ruby shaid it was a *hic* a game that was part of the teshting!"
"Right, the comprehension test..." Berry let out a sigh. "Look, about that--"
"And then! *Hic* And then you schaid, schaid it was time for both of usch little fillies to be in bed'sch, sho *hic* you tucked Ruby in and then you tucked me in and then you jusht collapshed and started snoring." Cheerlie clicked her tongue, shaking her head. "Scho I put you in bed, then, then I decschieded 'LeeLee, you should finisch grading them paper'she *hic* that all the foals are making, caushe, caushe that'sh what you get paid for!'" She giggled. "Schee? *Hic*. I'm a schmart mare, I am I am."
"Oh good Celestia," Berry groaned into her pillow. "It is too early to be dealing with your drunken ramblings..."
She frowned. "Come to think of it, how did you even get drunk?"
"Well, schee...." The school teacher sat up, wavering around. "Schee... there'sch thish thing about, about, about the filliesh and the coltsh... they are so smart sometimes, but, but schometimes *hic* they're scho bucking stupid! I, I wash juscht grading and, and grading, and, and, and... isch flippity floppity from good to bad and I dechided, 'Berry--' No, wait. *Hic*." She tapped her chin. "You're Berry, I'm... Cheery Leelee!" With that proclimation the mare smiled broadly.
Then she hiccuped and frowned. "What... what wash I talkin' bout?"
"You were saying that grading the papers was so frustrating that you decided to get drunk."
"YESH! Yesh. Yesh, that'sh what I did. I looked in your fridge and, and there were was no *hic* alkaline. Scho, I went down to your basement, caushe that'she where you keep yer booooooooooozche--"
"Wait, the basement?" Berry forced her bleary eyes to focus on her sister. "Not the cellar?"
"No, nonono. I'm schure it was *hic* the bashement, on accounta being through a door, not... not a trap*hic*door."
"Oh, Celestia--Cheerilee, why did you do that?!"
"It wash daaaaark!" Cheerilee whined. "I didn't wanna fall down the trapdoor and *hic* be trapped, scho I went for the baschement!"
"The basement is where I work on my experimental drinks!" Berry forced herself out of the bed, groaning as she stood up. "None of that has been approved safe for pony consumption yet! I mean, it probably is, but--"
"Wha?" Cheerilee wabbled over to her. "Whaddascha*hic*in?! Punchy, am I, am I gonna die?!"
"What?! No! Probably." The other mare groaned. "I just need to know what you drank, and maybe I can make sure this doesn't get any worse. Come on, let's find your cup."
"Wash a *hic* glasch." Cheerilee teetered after her sister. "A wineglassh! For whinersch, like you schaid!"
"I was only sixteen when I said that! AND I was drunk!" Berry managed to maneuver to the coffee table, picking up the only glass and sniffing at it. "Okay, let's see. Hint of cherry, quite a few spices, and fermented for--"
She froze.
"...Cheerilee? What did the keg you got this from say?"
"Oh, tha'sh easy!"
Berry stared at her expectently.
"....it wasch easy," Cheerilee clarified.
"Are you saying that the keg had the word Easy written on it?"
"Yep!" Cheerilee chirped brightly. "Scho I thought, if it wasch easchy, then, then, it couldn't be that hard! Hahahahahaha*Hic*hahahahahaha!"
"Oh sweet Celestia--Cheerilee, that was an acrynom! 'Everfree Ale Six Year'! It's been fermenting for six years and it's a blend of unique ingredients--"
"What?"
"...Okay, Leelee?" Berry put the glass back on the table and produced a wide, reassuring smile. "I need you not to panic. And to come with me, very very calmly, to the hospital."
"The hoschpital?! Nooooooooooooooo!" Cheerilee wailed. "I've already *hic* had my shotsh shish! You know I don't like needlesh!"
"I know, Leelee, but... uh... I was thinking, maybe if some of your students saw you there, they wouldn't be as scared!" Berry's grin widened. "Cause, you know, if their teacher trusts the doctors, then they can too."
"Really?"
"Yeah! Definitely! Let's go right now!"
"We, *hic*, we should make it a field trip--"
"RIGHT. NOW."