A Search for Something More
By HAKDurbin
Part 1: A New Love
"Mister Draft, are we interrupting!?!"
I jump to see Ms. Harshwinny's unamused face inches away from mine. I look around to realize that I am in my fifth-period history class, and I have been caught secretly writing one of my stories in class again. I hear my fellow students snickering and whispering. One of the guys is secretly handing the guy next to him a dollar. Guess they made a bet over whether or not I'd get caught again.
"What were you writing that could be so much more important than my lecture this time?" Ms. Harshwinny asks in her cold, stern voice.
My cheeks heat up as I try to think of something to say. I look at my notebook, revealing the contents of my personal Star Wars fan fiction. There's no way I'm going to answer her that. I'm embarrassed as it is.
With all the dignity I could muster, I awkwardly say, "I-i-it's not important, Ms. Harshwinny. Sorry."
Her facial expression doesn’t change as she walks back to the front of the classroom, saying, "Well, you can keep on being sorry all you want in detention."
I let out a quiet groan as she returns to her lecture. At this point, I am no longer surprised about detention, but it still is annoying.
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My name is Rough Draft; I am a senior at Canterlot High school who prefers to write stories rather than pay attention in class. Ever since I was a kid, I loved reading stories of characters that go on all kinds of adventures in the many creative worlds that their writers come up with, and thus I want to write my own original stories with my very own imaginative worlds and adventures.
But deep down, I also want to write about my characters getting together and falling in love. Why? Well, I guess after reading other stories or even watching movies or shows about love, there is a naive part of me that believes that finding love is the most important thing in someone's life. So logically, I would want to have romantic subplots between my characters.
But seeing as I am a nerdy high school student with not much experience in writing, I encounter two problems with carrying out my dreams. Firstly, I haven't thought of anything original yet. The best kind of stories I can come up with so far is Star Wars fan fiction, and the second problem is I have never been in love. I thought I found love once when one of the most popular girls in school, Sunset Shimmer, appeared to be interested in me, but it turned out that she just deceptively used me for her popularity, as she has done to many students in Canterlot High.
But I don't want to discuss that further.
Anyway, even though writing fan fiction doesn't put me on the right track of what I want to write, it makes me content to be still writing even if sometimes I'll secretly do it during my classes. This isn't to say that my grades suffer terribly for this. I do ok. But I am so much more focused on my writing that I constantly get in trouble for it, particularly in Ms. Harshwinny's class.
Now, this may sound like I live an ordinary high school life, but as odd as it may sound, Canterlot High has gone through some messed up stuff recently. The first month or so of the school year was typical enough with Sunset Shimmer ruling Canterlot High with an iron fist. But then, during the Fall Formal dance, she suddenly turned into a raging she-demon and turned everyone, including me, into mindless zombies. Ultimately, we had to be rescued by a group of girls eventually called The Rainbooms with some girly rainbow power thing. After that, everyone in school became more friendly with each other while Sunset Shimmer was giving us this bull-crap about becoming reformed. But then these three new girls who called themselves The Dazzlings came right out of nowhere with some evil plan that included everyone getting mind controlled again during the Battle of the Bands. Thus, the Rainbooms had to rescue us with their rainbow power, and supposedly Sunset Shimmer was their key to victory.
Yeah, as I said, we have gone through some messed up stuff that is by no means a part of the typical high school experience. But regardless, life in Canterlot High goes on. Somehow we continue to live our high school lives as if none of this ever happened. But while it's nice that we haven't let what happened get to us, it doesn't seem right that people are ignoring what happened.
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After a while, history class was over, and it was time for lunch. Every day I would eat with my best friends, Caramel and Soarin. Caramel is the shy member of our group. That's not to say he is as nervous around people as Fluttershy, one of the Rainbooms who saved us from Sunset Shimmer and The Dazzlings, but he tends to be quiet about his opinions outside of Soarin and me. Most of this has to do with his crush with Applejack, another one of the Rainbooms. He has always been fond of her honesty and her stubborn yet strong spirit. He's so shy when he's near her that she probably doesn't even know he even exists in any way shape or form (his words, not mine.)
Soarin, on the other hand, is the more socially open member out of the three of us as one of the best soccer players in our school, but Caramel and I also got him into nerdy things like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and so on. But it's no secret between the three of us that he also has a big crush on another one of the Rainbooms, Rainbow Dash. Soarin has been on the soccer team with Rainbow Dash since freshman year. Over the school years, he grew to admire her more and more before he realized that he has feelings for her. But like Caramel, he has never made a move on her because he doesn't think he's cool enough to be worth her time. Even though Soarin is one of the best players, Rainbow Dash is easily the best athlete and the captain of every sport in Canterlot High, so he thinks she should be with a guy that can keep up with her.
As we discuss the latest shows we watch or the video games we play, we start talking about this fantasy TV show that we watched where there's this giant plant that mind-controlled people. I begin to ponder on that idea based on the past events we've experienced, and so I say, "You know, speaking of which, there's something that has been bothering me."
Caramel and Soarin stop eating their lunches and groan.
"Rough Draft, please tell us you are not going on another anti-magic rant," Caramel said out of annoyance.
Ignoring Caramel, I ask, "How come no one in the school is traumatized from being mind-controlled during the Fall Formal and the Battle of the Bands?"
Carmel and Soarin stare at me before Soarin asks, "Why would you want to think about that?"
"Because it seems odd how sporadically everyone has moved on after being turned into mindless zombies," I replied.
"Wait, are you saying it's somehow a bad thing that we're back to normal despite all that stuff with the demons and sirens or whatever?" Carmel asks. "I mean we've turned into zombies, and then Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and that Twilight Sparkle girl saved our lives. Shouldn't we be happy that we're all okay?"
"Alright, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but all of us have experienced someone taking our minds and altering them to their will," I say. "It's great how quickly we have kept that from bothering us, but after mentally losing who we are twice you'd think it would bother someone as opposed to everyone being all happy and went back to dancing at the Fall Formal and at the Battle of the Bands we sang a song about friendship that everyone knows the lyrics to it right out of the blue, and went on with life like nothing happened."
Caramel frowns as ponders at my point before he turns to Soarin. "Yeah, what was with that? It's like we wake up from being mind-controlled right in the middle of the chorus of that song, and yet we knew to repeat the whole thing while the Rainbooms took down The Dazzlings."
Soarin shrugs and says, "Maybe that friendship, rainbow power that Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and their friends conjured up both times kept us from being mentally scarred and made us focus on just returning to the dance or singing that song or something."
I scoff before saying, "Why not? I mean, the Dazzlings used their magic to get us into singing their song when they first came here. So our minds are modified in some way, no matter who does it. The only difference is the girls who saved the day don't alter the minds of their opponents to be good."
"Wait, what about Sunset Shimmer? Didn't she change and help defeat The Dazzlings?" Soarin asks.
"Yeah, everyone has forgiven her, and she hangs out with all the other girls that saved us. I mean, does that look like someone who still is a power-hungry person?" Caramel says as he turns around and points to a table a few rows down from ours.
At this table, five of the Rainbooms, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, are chatting away with their new member, Sunset Shimmer. My eyes are fixed on Sunset Shimmer as she appears to be telling a story or making a joke to the other girls, making them laugh. Rarity compliments Sunset Shimmer, and Rainbow Dash laughs so hard she nearly falls out of her seat. As the girls continue taking, Sunset Shimmer is smiling as she is listening intently.
She looks so friendly. So happy. Like she's at peace.
And I don't buy a single bit of it.
"Honestly, guys, I still don't believe she's reformed at all," I say.
Carmel and Soarin look at me in flabbergasted as though I shouted. If I said I didn't believe Sunset Shimmer was reformed a few weeks ago, my friends would look at me funny as if I said I think the sky is blue. After the Battle of the Bands, however, they believe that she is reformed so much that, in their eyes, having the gaul to say Sunset Shimmer isn't reformed may as well be as shocking as saying Fluttershy is evil when, in fact, she's the sweetest person alive.
"Are you serious?" Soarin asks.
"Dead serious," I reply. "I know her. She is a great actress, and she bides her time before she strikes and rises for power. She's just pretending to be reformed and be a friend to the Rainbooms until she does something that tears them apart. She already did it to them once during their freshman year. Who is to say she won't do it again?"
"Oh, dude, that's ridiculous!" Carmel exclaims.
"No, think about it, guys," I say, "If she is magically reformed after the other girls used their rainbow power, then why didn't that happen when The Dazzlings were defeated? They just attempted to hypnotize us again by singing, only to be driven away from the stage, and we haven't seen them since. By comparison, when Sunset Shimmer is defeated, she pretended to be crying and saying she's sorry a lot and then tries to be nice to everyone she brainwashed. It just can't be a coincidence."
"Wait a minute. Are you saying this because you're still angry about what she did to you at the Spring Fling?" Soarin asks. "Don't get me wrong; what she did was horrible. But it's in the past, Rough Draft. She's good now. She's trying to make up for everything she did to us. She saved us from The Dazzlings, and everyone else has forgiven her. Why can't you accept that she's not the same person who used you?"
I take a moment to look at both of them. I can't believe that I have to explain myself further, but it appears that I have no choice. I take a deep breath, and I say with utmost sincerity, "Because it's like what you tried to tell me back then, Soarin. She acts sweet and caring and gives you the feeling that she wants to be close to you. Then you let your guard down, which allows her to take advantage of you and do something cruel and heartless. And you're right; what happened at the Spring Fling did hurt me. I was so ready to devote my life to her, to love her with all I have if she asked, and then she tricked me to win a competition. But even if you put that aside, we all know how she has hurt so many others, and I can't see her being any different now. She may have rescued us from The Dazzlings, but how do we know she wasn't doing it to get rid of the competition that they possessed? I know I shouldn't expect you to understand, but honestly, guys, I can't, and I won't try to accept that she changed. I've seen too much."
Not a sound is made outside of the chattering from our fellow students. Soarin looks at me as if I was yelling the entire time, while Caramel shows a face of disappointment. I don't know what to expect from either one until Caramel takes a deep breath and says, "Okay, Rough Draft. If that's how you want to keep on feeling about her, fine, just realize that you're the only one that's going to keep on giving her the cold shoulder. I understand where you're coming from, but I'd be remiss if I didn't say that you're being paranoid. I mean, she deceived you into believing she's the one that you're looking for, but it's over. You should be moving on, man."
"Yeah, and who knows?" Soarin adds, "There are a lot of girls at this school. There has to be someone that could be your girlfriend instead of her."
"Yeah, Soarin's right," Caramel says. "Maybe it'll do you some good to find someone who likes you for you. I mean you write, you're good-looking, you're really into the concept of love. There's got to be someone who can help you let go."
I give Caramel an unconvinced look.
"I write Star Wars fan fiction, I won't bother talking about my looks. I guess I technically could give you the last part, but I don't think there's someone here for me."
"Hey, come on, Rough Draft. You don't know until you try," Caramel replies. "Heck, Pinkie Pie is having a party later tonight at her place. Maybe we can look around for someone you might be interested in."
"No, Caramel, I don't think there's any point," I say. "Honestly, I'm thinking of just not looking for someone to date until college or something. Probably have a better chance out there than in here."
Caramel is about to say something else, but the bell interrupts him, stating that lunch is over, and we have to head out to our sixth-period classes. As we start to go, Caramel comes to me and says, "We'll talk about this right after school."
"I can't. I have detention." I respond.
Caramel looks at me with a frown.
"Writing in Harshwinny's class?" He asks.
"Writing in Harshwinny's class," I answer.
He sighs and tries to think of a way to respond, but the warning bell rings, indicating that we need to be in our classes soon. He grunts before finally saying, "Alright, I'll see you later. Preferably in time to convince you to go to the party."
"See ya, and good luck with that," I reply as we head to our separate classes.
I was serious about waiting 'till college to try anything close to finding love with someone. I will grant that I don't know every girl in the school, but after the Spring Fling with Sunset Shimmer, I doubt any girl here would be interested in a guy who took part in what happened at that dance if they found out about it. Besides, we only have roughly about seven and a half months until we graduate, so who would want to start a relationship that probably wouldn't survive the separation of the transition into colleges anyway?
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A couple of hours later, school is done for the day. Everyone is heading to their homes, but I walk in the opposite direction to spend detention. I enter the classroom where the long-faced teacher, Mr. Cranky, is waiting for me. We don't say anything to each other. He merely points to the set of desks as a way of saying, "you know your spot."
I walk over to my usual seat in the back row, where I am far away from the other kids that are joining me. I drop my backpack and grab my notebook, where I start to write one of my stories. Currently, I was writing about the powerful Jedi Master Rough Draft sneaking into the fortress of a deadly Sith Lord in the Sith homeworld of Korriban. He is currently fighting a few Sith guards. Two of them have been cut down while the Jedi Master pushes another out the window with The Force. The last guard proves to be more fierce, but Rough Draft notice that in his anger, he makes himself predictable. In one move, Rough Draft dodged his next attack and slashed the Sith in his left arm, leaving him to scream in pain. I stop writing and look through my current progress, unaware that an unnatural pink being was looking over my shoulder.
"Well, what happens next?"
I scream in panic as I turn to find my face inches apart from the most eccentric Rainboom member, Pinkie Pie. She looks at me with a gleeful look as she waits for me to respond.
"What happens?" she asks again. "You just wounded the last Sith guard, and you can't leave it at that, silly."
I turn back to the classroom to discover that the students sitting a few desks away from me appear to be too bored to have paid attention to my scream, and Mr. Cranky has fallen soundly asleep on his desk.
I turn back to Pinkie Pie and ask. "What happens next? What are you even doing here, Pinkie!?!"
"Oh, I almost forgot! I was going to ask you to come to my party tonight so that you can find your special someone!" She answers bubbly.
I stare at her for a moment before I look down and start rubbing the area between my eyes.
"Did Caramel and Soarin put you up to this?" I groan.
Pinkie Pie giggles at my question and says, "Oh, they don't know that I know that I know about their plan. I just happened to be at the back entrance of the school, waiting for Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash to meet me there with Sunset Shimmer. You remember Sunset, doncha? Fiery red and yellow hair, cute greenish, blueish eyes, sweet singing voice, and a cool motorcycle jacket?"
It takes all of my willpower not to show any contempt for Pinkie saying that name. I slowly nod in acknowledgment, eager for her to go back to the subject at hand.
"Anyway, I was waiting for the rest of our friends when I saw Soarin and Caramel passing by, and they looked super sad. So I quietly spied on them with my sweet ninja moves and overheard that you got detention and that they really, really want you to come to my party because they think that you could meet your special someone there. I got super excited at the idea, so I went back and told Sunset to tell the other girls to wait for me. Now I'm here inviting you to my party so that you can find your future girlfriend."
I roll my eyes at her. Pinkie Pie is known to be the cheeriest girl you will ever meet. She loves to throw parties and is devoted to helping everybody be happy, so it's little surprise that she would want to help me meet a girl for me to be happy.
"Look, Pinkie, I appreciate that you're trying to help me. I really do. But I don't think that's going to happen," I say calmly. "No girl would be interested in me after what happened after the Spring Fling," I say.
"Aw come on, you don't know that," Pinkie says. "I know that if you come to my party, you will find the girl who will really, really like you and want to be all snuggly, cuddly with you and likes to read your stories and laugh at your jokes, and...well...just be awesome for you."
"No, there isn't."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do."
"Please come to my party and find your special someone?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Super, duper, ultra-please with whipped cream, caramel, and cherries on top?"
At that last one, I grow annoyed and stand up and turn to face Pinkie Pie.
"No, Pinkie Pie, I will no -"
But once I saw Pinkie Pie, I couldn't finish my sentence. All my irritation melted into pure sadness and fear as I stare at the pink girl making an adorable, but horrific sad face. I clench my heart, feeling like there's thousands of needles going through it.
Now the reason why this turned the situation against me is simple. Some of the girls in this school, such as Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack's sisters; Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom respectively and so on, are so cute and have such a sweet and innocent personality that seeing either of them so much as shed a tear is the most painful thing for someone's heart to experience. Even if they're making that face intentionally to manipulate the person they're using it on knows it (like Pinkie Pie is doing right now to me), it's still unbearable.
I fall back down to my seat, grunting as I try to look away from Pinkie. I finally manage to say, "P-p-p-pinkie, s-s-s-stop that!" But she responds with a soft whimper, which only made it worse. I struggle to keep myself together, but it doesn't take long for me to accept that I can't win this fight.
"Okay, okay!" I shout. "I'll go to your party! Just please stop!"
The feeling in my heart let up, and I begin to breathe again, but the respite is short-lived as Pinkie Pie pulls me into a crushing bear hug.
"Yay!" She shouts. "I'm so happy! You will not regret this, Rough Draft! We're going to find you the prettiest, funniest, most awesome girlfriend ever!!!!"
"Ugh...that's great, Pinkie Pie...but could you let me start breathing again first?" I manage to say with the remaining air in my lungs.
She lets go of me, and I start coughing and gasping for breath. She puts her hands behind her back, and her already pink cheeks turn red before her optimistic smile comes back.
"Dontcha worry Rough Draft," she says. "Before the night is over, you will find the love of your life, or my name isn't Pinkie Pie! Well, I better head back and start decorating. See you later tonight!"
And with that, she leaves the room, bouncing and humming all the way.
I plant my face on the desk, letting out a big sigh of relief. I guess I'm going to the party after all. I appreciate what Caramel, Soarin, and Pinkie Pie are trying to do, but good gravy. Why can't they see that I don't want to go looking for a girl while I'm still in high school?
Well, there's nothing else for it now. I'm going to the party, and that's that. Who knows, though? Maybe by some miracle, I will find a nice girl who will go out with me. I guess for just one night I can be hopeful of that.
Though maybe not as hopeful as I am afraid of how Pinkie Pie will react if I don't.