//------------------------------// // 10 - Expunge // Story: Feedback // by RQK //------------------------------// Chrysalis. Failure. Sombra. Failure. Starswirl. Amethyst Key. Luna. Sunset Shimmer. Twilight Sparkle… Now the latest failure. Princess Celestia stared into the picture frame. A princess stared back at her. Her former protégé, adorned with a crown and a large dress that brought out her radiance. But the childlike smile drew Celestia’s eyes above everything else. That smile was full of wonder at the things around her, taking in all the sights and cherishing every moment. And the eyes were the same as she had seen several years prior. Those same eyes had looked up at her when they met at that entrance exam and invariably sparkled every time afterward. She was the one success Celestia thought she had. And Celestia had failed her. Her regalia felt heavier than ever before. Celestia strained under their pull. With a grimace, she stepped out of them. She practically threw every piece into its place on the rack atop the desk. With the exception of her crown. For long moments, she held it in front of her. She gazed over every part of it. That crown was the symbol of her place. It marked her as the ruler of Equestria. It represented and required her success. A shiver ran down the entirety of her spine. I can’t look at this, she thought. She went to place it on the desk like she normally had it, but it toppled into a crooked position instead. She made no attempt to correct it. Instead, she took the picture of Twilight and drifted into the adjacent room. Celestia sidled up to another desk in the back corner. She placed the picture frame on the corner before taking a seat in front of the mirror. Her mane required little grooming on most days. And on days like today, which were nothing but court hearings and signing documents, the physical demand was low; not enough to disturb her image. Celestia looked her reflection up and down. She noticed every little split end, every little knot, and every little splotch of missed dirt. She noticed the slight bags under her eyes, the misplaced red in her face, and the mismatched frays of her otherwise sparkling white coat. I look like a mess, Celestia thought as she scanned her features, trying to recognize the mare in the mirror, trying to recognize the image of a princess that peered out to her every time she stepped in front of her reflection. But with each sweep, her frown grew deeper. Another quick glance at Twilight’s picture sealed the deal. Because I am nothing but a mess. She gave the stranger in the mirror an accusatory glare. Who are you to be princess? she thought. Who are you to call yourself a ruler? A protector? Celestia cast a piercing glare on the reflection. How can you protect a country… when you could not even protect her…? The more she stared at the mare in the mirror, the more she trembled. Her hooves clung to the desk like she was hanging off a cliff. She might as well have been. And then it occurred to Celestia just who the mare in the mirror was. How could… I…? She slammed her head onto the desk. The force of the blow sent the picture of Twilight toppling off the desk. The frame landed with an audible crack, coating the floor in a glassy dust. Celestia rested her head there as every little thought and memory she ever had of Twilight Sparkle flowed through her mind. The friendship letters, the ascension, the rough waters at the wedding, defeating Lord Tirek... The small smiles, the warm conversations. The occasional night by the fire. Celestia wept. Tear after tear flowed down her face and dripped onto the lacquer. A small puddle formed underneath her muzzle with each new drop as her sobs steadily grew in volume. Twilight had done everything right. Celestia had done everything wrong. And Celestia was still alive. And Twilight Sparkle, her better in so many ways, was not. Celestia’s cries echoed throughout her room. The walls shook, the furniture trembled. The possibility that it could be heard well down the hall skipped over her head. They echoed into the night, into the endless void, with no reprieve in sight. The steady pitter-patter of rain hitting the windows (or magical barrier in the case of the downstairs balcony), combined with the simultaneous crusade against the castle’s stone walls, howled throughout the tower. The rolling thunder shook the tower, vibrating several objects within into a chorus of what sounded like a metallic clang. Spike punted one of the cushions into the wall. He watched it bounce lifelessly off the surface before he turned to another pillow and punted it as well with a frustrated cry. On the couch, Sunset Shimmer isolated herself behind a curled-up position. Her eyes rocked from side to side in a searching manner. Spike ignored the rumbling in his stomach and skipped over to where the others stood about. Applejack paced about furtively. “Ah can’t believe it…” Rarity cradled her face in her hooves. “I knew this was a long shot. I knew it.” While Fluttershy’s eyes remained glued to the floor, the makings of a scowl flashed across her features for a brief instant. Applejack shook her head. “Ah can’t believe it…” Rainbow Dash thrashed her hooves against the wall once more. The resulting bangs mixed with the torrential booms from the storm outside. “Girls,” Pinkie Pie interjected, flapping her forelegs about, “we only have a few hours left! We need to think of something!” Spike held himself close. They weren’t in the place he wanted to be. This was not the ending he wanted. “Whatdowedo?” Pinkie Pie cried. “Whatdowedo?” “We should have done something else,” Rarity grumbled, crossing her forelegs. Applejack tried to hide her face behind her stetson. “Ah was so sure this thing with the stones was gunna work.” “And now here we are and it didn’t work.” “But didn’t you hear what Sunset said earlier, though?” Pinkie Pie interjected. “She said that if this happened, then this us getting stones was never gunna work.” Rarity’s eye twitched. “But that’s just it, dear! If this was never going to work, then we should have tried something else.” She snarled. “We were foolish to follow Sunset Shimmer so quickly.” Several gasps rose up in response. Spike opened his mouth to reply but then realized doing so would have made him contradict her. Instead, he crossed his arms and grimaced. “Rarity!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “That’s mean!” Fluttershy shook her head. “I’m… afraid I agree with Rarity.” “Oh for land’s sake!” Applejack threw her hooves into the air. “Can’t either of you see what’s wrong here?” Rainbow Dash shot up. “Yeah! What’s the big idea?” “You two are the ones to talk!” Rarity scoffed, pointing an accusatory hoof. “You didn’t even complete your tasks!” The hairs on Rainbow Dash’s mane stood on their ends. “Oh, don’t you bucking dare.” Applejack brandished her hoof. “Why I oughta—” Fluttershy shook her head. “Uhm, yeah. Rarity…” Rarity looked over with a raised eyebrow. Fluttershy frowned. “That was really kinda mean…” “Yeah,” Pinkie Pie yelled, “that was a really low blow!” Rarity sighed. “Fine! But I still say that Sunset should be—” “No. Ya know what? Fine!” Applejack exclaimed. “Blame me and Rainbow Dash! Go right on ahead! But keep Sunset out of this! We did what we could and what we could just wasn’t enough.” She pointed toward Sunset. “Ya can’t blame her for tryin’.” “She tried harder than all of us, even!” Pinkie Pie seconded. Rarity glowered for a moment before casting a glance at the fetal mare on the couch. Sunset’s blank expression melted her in response, and Rarity hung her head in shame. Spike decided to barge in on that moment. “Stop it. Don’t any of you even remember what Twilight said?” he asked, pointing at the crystal ball. “She said she could do something if she had all of those stones. Sunset did exactly what Twilight talked about, we did exactly what Twilight talked about.” Applejack snorted. “That’s right. We did the only thing we could do at the time,” she said with the stamp of her hoof. “Weren’t nothin’ else we coulda done.” Several coughs erupted from the ball. Each cough became increasingly labored until, finally, Twilight sounded like she was about to choke. They looked to find Twilight Sparkle sprawled across the floor, rubbing her temples amidst several pained moans. Rarity shook her head. “Well, we simply must do something else now!” she exclaimed. “Ah know!” Applejack cried. Fluttershy frowned. “But what?” Applejack gnashed her teeth together. “Ah don’t know!” Rainbow Dash looked out of the window. Past the sheets of flowing water, the sky offered tiny shreds of fleeting daylight. The sun would set soon. “Well, we need to think of something and we need to think of it now! We’re running out of time!” A flash of lightning outside the tower lit up the room, casting their silhouettes across the walls. A loud boom accompanied it which made them shiver. Spike could feel the ever-diminishing time choking him. The feeling worsened with every second. Somehow, he could name the dread festering in his stomach. Spike felt his body go cold and he looked at the downpour outside. Where were they to go from there? For once, Spike had no answer. * * * Rarity felt another hair split as she watched the mare inside the ball. “Twilight! Tell me what you want us to do! Tell me tell me tell me!” Twilight scowled as she folded another piece of paper and placed it on top of the stack. She levitated over the next set of readings and folded those onto the top of the stack as well. “I’m telling you like I told the others, Rarity: there’s nothing you can do now,” she replied at length. “You should have known that this was coming.” “Out of the question. Don’t you dare tell me to give up on you.” “I’m sorry. There really is nothing you can do. Really and truly.” Rarity shifted uncomfortably on the couch. She passed a glance to each of the others, most of whom had gathered in a tight circle as they ran their mental wheels. Every so often, a few words of suggestion would pass between them, only to be shot down with simple rebuttals. Twilight levitated over the various notecards and miscellaneous scribbles that had accumulated over the past few days. “I’m going to pour my remaining life energy into the door as the Nameless tries to surface. That will kill it forever,” she said before throwing the cards into the wastebasket at the head of the stairs. “And that will be the end of it.” Rarity pounded her hoof against the ball. “But Twilight! That’ll kill you too. Don’t you even think about making the same mistake that our Twilight did!” Twilight didn’t answer. Instead, she used her magic to grab the crystal ball before toting it down the staircase. Rarity sighed and thought the ball’s view downward to follow. Twilight slunk into the kitchen area where she set the ball on the counter. For a moment, she leaned against the wood, trying to catch her breath. “If I had a chance to do things differently…” she croaked, “maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t do all of this.” Rarity saw Spike glance up out of the corner of her eye. She looked back down. “You still can! We… we might not be getting our Twilight back. I know that. But you’re not bound by what our Twilight did! You have that chance!” “Maybe,” Twilight said, her voice just above a whisper. “My future isn’t entirely written.” The handle to the front door jiggled, causing Twilight to spring backward in alarm. Even clear across the tower, Twilight could see the handle oscillate up and down as if somepony was trying to enter. Rarity frowned. What in heaven’s name is going on now? she thought. “Huh?” came Rainbow Dash’s voice from the other side of the door. “Huh,” Spike’s voice said, “I thought she’d be here.” A drop of sweat appeared on Twilight’s brow as she stared the door down. She raised a hoof to trot over but failed to take the first step. Rarity gasped. “Sweet Celestia. Girls! Come quick!” she squeaked as she frantically waved them over. Four mares and a dragon leaped up from the floor and scurried over to where Rarity sat. Rarity, in turn, hopped off the couch so they could crowd around. “Nine days ago,” Rarity said, “we came to the castle to pick up Twilight to take her to the opera. Remember?” Pinkie Pie gasped. “Yes! I do! I do!” The door thumped a few times. “Twilighhhhht!?” Rainbow Dash’s voice called. “Are you in thereeeee!?” Applejack let her mouth go slack for a moment. “No way. That’s happenin’ now?” Twilight’s ears twitched as she listened to what Rarity had said. Swallowing, she crept toward the door and stopped just short of it. “H-Hi, everypony.” “Twilight! Twilight! Hey! Let us in!” Rainbow Dash’s voice said as the handle jiggled again. Rarity furrowed her brow as she thought the ball’s view closer to the door. Twilight fought through a crestfallen expression and shook her head. “Sorry, girls, I can’t do that right now.” “...Why?” asked Rainbow Dash’s voice. Rainbow Dash blinked. “Wait… this is…” Pinkie Pie jabbed a hoof toward the ball. “This is when she turned us away!” “It’s… it’s dangerous to be in here right now!” Twilight exclaimed. “Uh, Twilight, we’ve handled dangerous things before,” Applejack’s voice said. “It’s really serious business, and I can’t get you involved this time. I’m sorry, but please, trust me on this one.” “Twilight, darling,” Rarity’s voice chuckled, “we are going to go to see Don Giofilly together. You must come with us!” “…Then go and have fun,” Twilight replied without missing a beat. “Don’t worry about me.” Applejack furrowed her brow and touched a hoof to the ball. “Wait a sec, Twi. Listen!” Twilight looked upward with a raised eyebrow. “This all’s happened before!” Applejack continued. “Ya gotta talk to us this time! Don’t do the same thing our Twilight did!” Rarity’s “Humph!” sounded through the door. Rarity nodded. “Twilight, it’s just us. This is it! This is your chance! You said you were worried about running into other ponies. You said that if you had another chance, you’d take it. This is it!” “Darn the tether, Twilight!” Applejack said. “Let us in!” “Go, Twilight…” Fluttershy urged. “Come on, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Hey…” Pinkie Pie’s voice said, “I hear voices. Twilight, are there other ponies in there with you?” Fluttershy gasped and pointed toward the door. “We heard us…” “Tell them, Twilight!” Rarity yelled. “Tell them! Let us in!” Twilight ground her teeth together as she stared the door down. She reached up to turn the lock and open the door but shied away. Finally, Twilight turned and slumped against the wooden frame. She sat for what seemed like an eternity with a contemplative expression. Shades of a grimace flashed across her features. Twilight glanced upward. “But… all of you are alive in the world above mine…?” she whispered. Spike shuddered. “…What?” Sunset’s head popped up from behind them. She leaned on Spike’s shoulder and watched without even acknowledging her own presence. Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes with heavy resignation. “…No.” A thunderclap shook the tower. Rarity’s mouth all but fell to the floor. What… are you…? “Twilight!” Rainbow Dash screamed. “I hear them too,” Rainbow Dash’s voice said. “What’s going on, Twilight? Can you at least tell us what’s going on?” Twilight shook her head. “…No.” “Twilight Sparkle!” Rarity roared. “What are you doing!?” Applejack banged a hoof against the ball. “What in tarnation, Twi!?” “Oh my bucking—” Rainbow Dash cursed before placing a hoof on the ball. “No! Don’t you bucking dare!” “Twilight, come on!” Spike’s voice exclaimed. “Talk to us! Talk to me!” Rainbow Dash turned her attention to the door. “You have to stop her!” Rainbow cried. “Open that door!” Rarity shuddered before turning her attention to the door as well. “Kick it down!” “…I am sorry,” Twilight replied, her voice growing tremulous, “I just… I just—I don’t need you here right now. Please. Just, go away.” “Twi!” Applejack cried. “Twilight!” Spike’s voice cried. “Twiiiiliiiight!” Pinkie Pie cried. Fluttershy hid a sorrowful squeak behind her hooves. Twilight gnashed her teeth together and appeared ready to tear something apart, even with her eyes still closed. A moment later, she tilted her head back and screamed into the sky, “Go away!” Applejack frantically pounded a desperate hoof against the crystal ball. “Don’! You! Walk! Away!” Rarity let out a short, uncontained, and somewhat-desperate scream. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening! “Fine,” Applejack’s voice finally scoffed. “Have it yer way, Twilight! Ah mean, it’s not like we came all the way here just for you, anyway!” “Don’ you walk away, you gal-dern idiot!” Applejack tremulously yelled. Twilight remained pressed against the doorway. She held her breath, not daring to move so much as an inch from her spot. Rainbow Dash almost collapsed to the floor. Her knees shook and her features quivered. “Uh-uhhhh… N-n-no…” “I guess now is not a good time,” Fluttershy’s fading voice said. “We should just try again later...” The room lay still and quiet, and the ponies within remained equally so. The roar of the torrential downpour outside returned in full force and dominated the area. Distant booms made their way in, shaking the windows and rattling the china on the counter. Rarity let her head fall against the ball in defeat. “Oh my goddess…” she wheezed. “She…” Fluttershy croaked. Sunset gulped. “W-was that how it happened before?” Applejack threw her hat to the floor. “That’s exactly how it happened before.” That was it. It was set in stone. Rarity heard a deep, wooden thump, and snapped to attention. She looked around for a moment before she realized it had come out of the ball. She looked. Twilight banged the door with her hoof again before she slid down the frame. The princess let out what sounded like an agonizing scream, futilely banged against the door a few more times, and then collapsed completely into a series of shrill wails. Streams of liquid poured down Twilight’s face as her labored cries cascaded around the tower. “Oh Celestia… Oh C-Celestia… Ooooohhhhhhhhh!” Pinkie Pie’s mane lost its volume and fell to her sides. Pinkamena then buried her face in her hooves and wept. Fluttershy buried herself into Applejack who, in turn, wordlessly held her close. Sunset hung her head defeatedly and slunk off. The remaining three held still as statues as they looked down upon the broken mare within the ball. * * * Spike opened his mouth to say something but, for what seemed like the twentieth time, he growled instead and retreated. And with that, just like every other time before that, the shaking in his hands worsened. Twilight floated several pieces off the machine, dislodging parts between the occasional sob. The various plates and beams accumulated into a pile at the very back corner of the room. Twilight threw a bunch of screws into the pile before wiping her face of dirt and water. Several thoughts swam through Spike’s head and he couldn’t decide which one he wanted to out. But with how his entire body was shuddering and with the heat crawling up his spine, he could tell that something would out. He scratched at another itch on his head. His hands balled into fists against his will. He tried to control his breath but found that control steadily escaping him. Twilight sat back, examined her work, shook her head with an exasperated huff, and then walked to the desk. She used her magic to pick up the journal, the item in which she had been working over the past few days. She flipped through several pages, sighed as she slid a hoof down some unfinished equations, and then snapped the book shut. Her eyes glazed over toward the trash bin near the stairs. “Twilight…” Spike said. “Yes?” “…Why did you do it?” Twilight sniffled. “It’s because… I… If I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I don’t want to lose you.” “And I don’t want to lose you either, Twilight. Please,” Spike pleaded. “I’m so sorry, Spike, but we’re out of time. I have to go stop the Nameless or else it will get out.” “We could have stopped it together,” he choked. “Twilight, you shoulda said something. You shoulda said anything. You shoulda let us in.” Twilight solemnly shook her head. “Out of the question,” she said in a firm and pointed manner as she levitated over a box of matches. Spike felt a tingle run down his spine. “What are you doing?” “I am expunging all the data,” she said. “I have to preserve the loop.” “But the loop is going to get you killed, Twilight! All of you!” he yelled. “And it’s going to save you! All of you!” The others looked up at that moment. One by one, they wandered over. They remained quiet and kept their distance, but they did so with each other. “I chose this path, Spike,” Twilight explained. “I chose it several days ago. I will not let this monster tether to you. Not now! Not ever!” Spike threw a claw into the air. “That’s insane! That’s crazy! Twilight!” Spike took a moment to rub his face in frustration. “Twilight… that means you’ll… die!” “I know.” Spike flinched. The several words that had climbed to the top of his mouth sunk down again. He knew that the response to that required words that he did not yet have. Twilight struck a match and held the resulting flame up to her eyes. She cantered over to the trash can and stared at the countless scraps and notes that she had placed within. She dropped the match into the bin and the contents lit up. The flames danced within the receptacle and grew by the moment. “I-I’m so scared,” Twilight quivered. “I’m… I didn’t think things would end this way. I’m so afraid…” Spike furrowed his brow. “Twilight…” “But I know it works! It won’t be for nothing!” she exclaimed, stamping a hoof against the floor. “You are living proof of that!” “And what about us!? You’re going to leave us without you!” Spike fired back. Twilight flinched. “I already live in a world without you, Twilight. And you’re about to make another one. I’ve already lost mine, but Twilight… I need you!” “Spike, I—” He shook his head. “I can’t do it! I can’t. I can’t!” “Spike!” Spike banged his claw against the ball. “I can’t lose you again!” Twilight reeled. Every hint of anger in her expression vanished as her mouth fell against her will. She blinked several times, trying to stave off the urge to let more tears fall. She clutched at her chest as if she was afraid her very heart would shrivel up and stop. Spike sighed. “I can’t…” Twilight grimaced. Her frown drew so deep that her mouth appeared like it would fall off her face. She swallowed. “Oh, Spike…” she croaked. “I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” She trotted over to the desk. She examined its contents for a few moments and eventually settled on a small piece of paper. Said piece contained her diagram map of the caverns. She flipped it over and found the other side blank. Spike watched with a crestfallen expression. Twilight swallowed and levitated a quill over. “I… I know that I can’t be there for you. But… I can make sure you don’t have to worry about what happened to me. I know this won’t mean much, but I owe this to you, at least.” The other six shared uneven glances. A few swallowed. “Dear everyone,” Twilight muttered the words aloud as they made them onto the paper. “If you are reading this, it means I have lost my life repulsing a great evil.” Pinkamena snorted, trying to stifle the shivers running down her body. In a flash, she disappeared up the stairs and shortly reappeared with the farewell note in her mouth. “I had too little time to prepare for it. I was unable to think of any other way. My hooves were tied.” The seven of them glanced over the contents of the letter in Pinkamena’s hooves. Strained glances passed between them as the letter slowly realized itself. “You don’t want to know what things would have happened had this thing got out. I shudder to think of it, and I take solace in the fact that I can spare you that knowledge. But I was able to shut the door on it, and in doing so, I terminated it, permanently. It will never befall Equestria.” Several of Twilight’s tears splattered in several locations and she bent over the desk for support. The quill paused as she looked out the window toward the newly risen moon. A moon whose face had changed since she had moved to Ponyville. A moon whose face had changed when everything began. Twilight looked back at the paper and cursed under her breath. “These past years have been the best of my life. Thank you for the wonderful memories. Thank you all. “Your faithful friend, “Twilight Sparkle” For some moments Twilight considered her work even through her sobs. Her quill hovered over the word ‘faithful’, lingering over her choice there as if debating whether it was the right one or not. Finally, Twilight settled for throwing the quill across the room. Spike fell onto his haunches, set the ball onto the ground, and then buried his face in his hands. He had to resist the urge to cry out several things that he knew he would regret. He had to resist the urge to hurl the ball out of frustration because he knew he would regret it. He had to resist the urge to contradict Twilight more than he already had because he knew that it would go nowhere. Twilight wiped her face before she settled on the journal once more. She lifted it up, scanned the cover, and then turned toward the somewhat-diminished inferno within the trash bin. Twilight tossed the journal into the trash. The flames within responded with renewed energy, streaking upward as they engulfed the tome. Twilight watched the book writhe about with a cold and lifeless expression. The blank glaze in her eyes reflected the dancing flames. As the inferno grew, the flickering glow cast itself on the walls in greater magnitudes and the crackles grew louder and louder. This was the way it ended. Spike had known that from the start. As his mind drifted to the charred mess that Pinkie Pie had found in the trash several days ago, he knew it even more. Nothing had changed.