For many days, she has wasted hours staring at her reflection.
Martha reaches a foreleg to the mirror. She presses a hoof onto the the glass, onto the equine staring back at her. The eyes of the earth pony are the same as the eyes she had when she was a human - "a bright, clear green," as her ex-partner use to describe them (he was dramatic in speech and, unfortunately, dramatic in personality, which led to their split). Surprisingly, her mane is not the same color as the hair she use to possess - instead of a blonde, it is white, and not even her coat is blonde - that is a light tan. Would she have not minded being this as much, she wonders, if her mane and her coat were brighter colors? Would the pretty colors have somewhat distracted her from her thoughts, she wonders with bitter snort.
She pulls her hoof back, stunned at the noise she has made, then slowly places it back on the mirror, bowing her head. Even days after being converted, she has difficulty grasping that she is now longer Martha the Human.
She is Martha the... Now Pony.
Martha... Not a Human... a Now Pony...
Martha the Now Pony.
Martha the... Pony?
"Martha the pony," she murmurs. "Martha the Now Pony."
Ponification is necessary, she knows. Humans cannot survive the Barrier, she knows. Humans have to become ponies to survive. She knows.
But - and her stomach twists into a knot and a small part of her mind is screaming at her for being so selfish, because she doesn't feel grateful, she doesn't feel saved, she doesn't know how she feels. Uncertain? That seems to be the most fitting word. Uncertain. What she feels, and what she wishes not to feel but can't help but feel, is uncertain.
Martha traces her hoof over her reflection, then glances over at the clock on the wall. It's almost time for her to head out and see Kim.
Kim the Still Human.
Kim the Still Human with Martha the Now Pony.
Time to stop looking at the mirror, time to stop looking at herself, time to get ready to go. Perhaps being in her company will put her mind at ease. Perhaps Kim will know what to say, what to do.
Martha almost jumps when she hears her phone ringing from the kitchen counter. She dashes over to retrieve it, crashes into the chair reaching to the counter, falls to the ground with what she finds to be an embarrassingly childish "Ouch!". Furiously blushing, she gives her coat an involuntary shake, then attempts to pull herself back up to her hooves, only to end up falling flat onto her stomach. "Oof! Gr... I hate hooves," she grumbles. Again, the phone rings. Martha, with great effort, places the chair back up, and, again with great effort, pulls up onto the chair. She uses her mouth to pick up the phone from its holder and place it onto its side.
Maybe, Martha thinks as she attempts to dial the number that called her, she would worry less about her new life as a unicorn or a pegasus. Or even if she wasn't angst-ing any less than she is now, answering the damn phone certainly wouldn't be a trail. And so, being an earth pony, Martha suffers from the most mundane tasks, like trying to use this damn phone - why wouldn't her hooves just let her press the goddamn buttons -
And finally, she is able to reach to the person who called her - her brother, Dylan. Martha gives a satisfied sigh of relief, and is vaguely aware that a smile is creeping across her face.
The very first thing her brother says is, "You took long enough to answer."
Martha glares at the phone. Dylan, as though he has seen her reaction face-to-face, laughs. "Hey hey," he says, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I know how it feels, being a fellow earth pony. Guess it makes sense for us both to be earth ponies, being twins and all." Dylan chuckles. "Ah, sorry for babbling. Anyway, sorry about that. You know I love ya, sis."
"I love you too, Dylan," Martha says, her voice soft.
"I haven't spoken to ya in what feels like forever!" Dylan says. "How've things been since you've gone pony?"
"Things have been okay, I guess." Again, Martha glances at the clock on the wall. Surprisingly, not so much time was wasted trying to answer the damn phone; she isn't running late. "I have to go really soon, but... I wanted to hear your voice before I left the apartment."
"Seein' Kim? So, are you two finally goin' out, or - "
"Shut up, Dylan." Martha's ears flatten.
"Aw come on! It's so obvious that you two have the hots for each other. Just ask each other out already, or something. Or are ya waiting until she becomes a pony too?"
"Dylan, I told you to shut up!"
"Fine," Dylan says. He gives a huff; Martha giggles at this. "So, how long have ya got into ya have to go?"
"Well, I should get going now, as much as I'd love to catch up with you on things. I'll call you later, though!"
"Don't ya mean you'll try to call me back?"
Martha scoffs. "Ha ha, very funny."
"But, in all seriousness, why don't ya ask somepony to help ya out with the whole pony thing, Martha?"
"I'll figure the whole pony thing out on my own," Martha says curtly. "I really have to go now. Goodbye, Dylan."
"Huh?" Martha can hear the confusion in Dylan's voice. "Martha, are you alright - "
Martha presses the off button. She hops (or rather falls) off the chair and heads for the door, pausing to wipe off the tears that are starting to spill from her eyes.
Perhaps she can solve... this... with Kim.
Perhaps...