Character Selection
The doorbell of the Canterlot House of Enchanted Comics rung pleasantly as Illusion stepped into the establishment. The few other shoppers; a father and his son, a pair of teenaged colts, and a lone filly, paid him no mind. A salespony looked up from behind his counter when Illusion entered, but soon returned to reading one of the store’s merchandise.
Illusion’s black-furred face didn’t move, but inside he was smug. Coal disguise still works after sixteen years. He had been careful, but he figured somepony would have cottoned on to the fact that the black earth pony was a false identity. It was either a sign of just how powerful a good illusion was… or a sign of just how oblivious ordinary ponies were. Illusion figured he didn’t want or need to know the real reason.
As he approached the comics section of the store, Illusion shook himself out of his thoughts. He was here on a mission, after all. He needed some very specific comics, if he wanted his plans to succeed. A rousing adventure, a fun and lighthearted dalliance, and one that was terrifyingly tragic.
…
Illusion walked towards the Canterlot House of Enchanted Comics slowly, deep in thought. He had no real worries about practicing the Story Spell– if Discord could pull it off with a chalkboard, it stood to reason that Illusion could use a children’s book or a piece of chicken scratch to work the bugs out before he enchanted a proper comic. The real question was who, precisely, would be the recipient of his work.
I could use it on Crys. Illusion had pranked his fillyfriend on more occasions than he cared to count, but had always made up with her afterward. Moreover, a big adventure through a fantastic world would be a great break from her work, and Illusion could probably arrange the comic so he could join her, or she could bring along her family. Though, that might not work out so well. Turquoise, Crys’s brother, was a cool guy, but Illusion got the distinct sense that he had… mixed feelings about the Prince of Illusions going out with his sister. And Crys’s cousin, Pixel Bit… didn’t Crys and her not get along?
Actually, Illusion thought, Crys may be sort of freaked out about this. Anypony would be freaked out about this, but if I go in with her, then she’ll know it was me. Being trapped in a really rather tiny space with an aggravated dracony… was something Illusion had very little experience with, and he heartily wished it to stay that way.
I could just tell her about it from the beginning, give her the comic as a gift. Except then I won’t be able to prank anypony else! It was true– once he pranked his first victims, there wouldn’t be much shock value to any pranks he pulled afterward. The Story Spell was brilliant, but it wouldn’t have the same effect if you knew it was all just in your head.
Okay, so I need to find the perfect pony to prank with my first book. Not Crys, but then who… Illusion’s thoughts were interrupted when he realized he had nearly taken a wrong turn. Chuckling slightly, he corrected himself, before lapsing back into his introspection.
Starburst would be great. Yeah, actually she’s be perfect. She’s always wanted to join the guard, but how cool is being a guard compared with being a superhero! Besides, she’s way too serious; I’m sure a fun adventure would help her loosen up. Oh, and Cotton Candy, she also loves to have fun. She pranks almost as many ponies as me, too, so she won’t mind. I probably shouldn’t give her a scary story, though.
Illusion frowned. But I can’t give them both a comic… Or wait. Can’t I? Did Dad say anything about that? Illusion grinned abruptly, even as he realized he had now missed the path to the House of Enchanted Comics. Even as he backtracked, though, he was gleefully imagining the possibilities.
I don’t have to make just one comic. I could give everypony in Ponyville one! Except that would probably cause a national panic. Actually, it might cause a panic even if half a dozen ponies vanish. Illusion tried to remember how much time had passed when he and Discord had been in the blackboard. I think it was faster in the story, but not by very much. How long would going through a whole comic take? If it takes a few hours, even, that might make ponies nervous.
Okay, so only a few comics. I can definitely make one for Starburst and one for Candy. And one more. Maybe Del? Illusion considered for a moment. Nah, he’s just go through the entire thing all stoically and then scold me for taking time away from his chores. Illusion snickered slightly at the image of Del looking at the Mane-iac cackling and raising his eyebrow. That would be sort of funny, but no. Maybe Nidra? No, wait…
Illusion’s face split into an evil grin, transforming his expression so completely his malefic glee showed through the Coal disguise. The fires of Tartarus itself seemed to ignite behind his irises, and a unicorn who caught sight of the prince’s expression dropped his groceries and cowered back.
Prism Bolt, Illusion thought as he walked indifferently past the terrified unicorn. This is going to be fun.
…
Now that he was in the store, Illusion looked over the available comics. It wouldn’t do to give the wrong sort of story to the wrong sort of hero– or, in the case of Prism Bolt, victim.
Starburst first. Illusion figured the serious pegasus would want a sort of serious story, and so he first looked towards the darker hued covers. Pictures of terrifying monsters weren’t what he wanted, at least not yet, but for Starburst, maybe a detective comic?
After a few minutes of searching Illusion didn’t find anything he thought would suit his purposes. Maybe I’m thinking about this wrong. Starburst is serious, but the whole point of giving her a comic is to get her to lighten up. So maybe something a little less gritty, and something more like what Starburst wants to do. Really wants to do, not just train. Hmm… She wants to be a guard, but she also wants to be the Captain of the Guard. So maybe something where she gets to lead a team?
Illusion searched for another half-minute before he found it. The title was white text: Marvel Mare Issue 34. Underneath the heading, the comic depicted what Illusion assumed was the titular superheroine, an earth pony clad in a red and white-striped costume, standing beside another earth pony whose defining feature seemed to be his unnecessarily enormous greaves. What caught Illusion’s attention, though, was the subtitle: Marvel Mare and Earthshaker team up to face the terrifying Questing Beast! Will Marvel Mare lead her young sidekick to victory? Or will they both fall to the unrelenting hunter? It sounded almost like a leadership exercise– something that Illusion believed was lacking from Starburst’s usual training regimen.
Illusion nodded to himself, then picked up Marvel Mare Issue 34. That was Starburst taken care of. Now for Cotton Candy. Definitely a less serious personality than Star. She would probably prefer something cheerier.
Okay, what do I know about Candy? She’s fun-loving, definitely. And sociable, her mother is Pinkie Pie, after all. Illusion tapped his hoof on his mouth. Hmm… She’s a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, I think. And didn't she say something about not liking big crowds, last time we meet up?
Illusion mentally frowned again. What would Candy most like to do in an afternoon, if she had the entire world of comic adventures open to her?
Sort of a moot question, considering that Illusion knew next to nothing about the world of comic adventures. Okay, then what would she do if she could just do anything? Illusion thought. Maybe try out a new job, I guess, or spend the day with her friends. Hmmmm…
Just as there hadn’t been anything to prevent Illusion from making more than one comic, there wasn’t anything to say he couldn’t send two ponies into the same comic. The obvious problem would be getting the right two ponies to read the comic simultaneously, but surely Illusion could arrange it so Candy would be with at least one one of her friends when she reached the spell.
Okay then. Another team story, more lighthearted, and something outside of the norm, something Candy wouldn’t have tried before. Not a problem for a spirit of chaos. Illusion searched the shelves once again.
He found it rapidly. Only a few spots down from where he had picked the Marvel Mare issue, there was a comic depicting what appeared to be… the world’s evilest baker.
The comic, Illusion noted as he picked it up, showed a laughing griffin feeding a tincture into a high-tech oven, which was in the midst of spitting out huge, beige-colored blobs of goo. More blobs of goo, having congealed into approximately equine forms with the vaguest impressions of faces, were menacing a pair of mares, an earth pony and a unicorn, with pink and purple costumes. The comic was titled Young Harmony Issue 117, subtitled Monsieur Maladie strikes back!
… Monsieur Maladie? Oh. Right. The blobs were virus-ponies or something. Not cake batter. Silly of Illusion to think so. Still, he thought as he looked over the comic, it does look like something Candy might like. The villain, in particular, looked slightly ridiculous, with a massive mustache and an apron stained with the virus-pony-batter. He was also rather fat, a condition Illusion hadn’t seen in a griffin before.
Illusion looked at the heroines. The earth pony reminded Illusion of Candy immediately. She was wearing a clown mask, except it was pink instead of the usual white, matching the mare’s mane. She also had a speech bubble attached to her, containing what Illusion assumed was a quip for the villain. “Alas, the Gloopy Fiends of Aeon-Spanning Sluggishness! Our grandfoals’ grandfoals are surely doomed!” didn’t make sense in many other contexts.
Illusion thought it over. Candy probably wouldn’t be one for a super-serious fight to save the world, but I don’t think she would mind being a superhero. It almost definitely qualifies as something she hasn’t done before. And, um… Monsieur Maladie doesn’t seem like a very nasty villain, either. Actually, wait, isn’t Candy a bad baker? Illusion contemplated that for a moment, then placed Young Harmony Issue 117 into his saddlebag. It’s kind of ironic, and she’ll probably get a laugh out of it no matter what.
That was Starburst and Cotton Candy down. That left Prism Bolt. Illusion grinned, this time mercifully on the inside.
So many ways I could do this. Mortally terrifying? To brutish. Mind shatteringly surreal? Not honestly sure they have that…
Illusion pondered the comics before him, recalling how he had been contemplating Starburst’s and Candy’s likes when selecting their comics. Except I don’t know Prism well at all. Well, I know he’s an arrogant blockhead who’s in love with himself, but everypony knows that.
Although… I could work with that. A comic that would bring him down a peg. One where the hero loses? How would the Story Spell work on a cliffhanger? Illusion considered his options. Probably beats out something scary or surreal. Oh, I could give him a story where he thinks he’s winning, and then all of a sudden he realizes the other guy’s just been stringing him along. Or wait, I could find one where he gets beat and a teammate has to bail him out, or one where he almost wins, but just barely doesn’t, like whenever he and Hot Head compete!
More options than he had started with. Illusion shook his head. What would really put him out of his depth? He almost wished he had spent more time with Prism, arrogance aside, just so he could pull off this prank right.
… Actually, there is another problem. Illusion didn’t really know how Prism would go through any particular comic. He couldn’t control the Story Spell like one of his usual illusions, making it follow his will, because Prism would be the one driving the carriage, so to speak. Anything Illusion intended for Prism to do could be subverted, ignored, or bypassed by the stallion himself, and a dramatic, resounding failure could be turned into a cliche-ridden flop.
He might even get his character killed before the story ends, Illusion thought sourly. The Story Spell, like most illusions, posed no physical risk to its subjects, but it stood to reason something as derailing as having the the main character die would promptly end the spell’s effects.
Thinking of the Story Spell, Illusion recalled what his father had said. A lesson for you on the downsides of planning, son.
… I’m probably overthinking this. I don’t need to control everything Prism experienced to a T just to pull off a good prank. It might work better, even, if Prism has enough freedom to fail completely on his own. Illusion gazed over the rows of colorful comics with measured contemplation. I can give him just enough rope to hang himself. Metaphorically. I just need to find something that’ll throw Prism off guard, a really big twist, and then be ready to gloat.
So all that remained was finding a really big twist. Illusion pondered the covers. He doubted any spoilers would be portrayed on the front of a comic. I can’t possibly go through all of these and look for good pranking material without taking hours! And I’d probably miss some of the really good ones, too! Illusion tapped his hoof against the ground a few times, his patience fraying. Recognizing this fact made him think of the breathing exercises his mother had taught him– and that lead him to think of his mother.
Don’t try to do everything by yourself, Illusion. As rulers, we have to deal with issues in every subject under the sun – or the moon – but that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for advice. One of Celestia’s more common idioms for ruling.
Illusion definitely didn’t have time to go through all of these comics by himself, but he didn’t need to. A much more knowledgeable pony sat barely ten feet from him.
Illusion approached the sales clerk with a measured expression. He would need an alibi…
The clerk looked up. He was a blue coated unicorn with a white mane, his cutie mark invisible from behind the counter. The comic he was reading depicted a huge, malformed creature, surrounded by tiny spots of color, flattening buildings.
“Can I help you with anything?” he asked. His voice pegged him to be younger than Illusion first thought.
“Yes, actually,” Illusion replied as inspiration struck him. “I’m buying comic books for a few of my friends, but I’m having trouble finding something for one of them. I don’t really follow most of the series, but my friend, I know he really likes stories that have big twists.”
“Twists?” The salespony raised an eyebrow as he got up.
“Yes, twists. Surprises, unexpected directions. I was going to buy him a story where the hero has to suff–erm, experience something quite shocking.”
“Huh. So you want to know which stories have big twists in them? I assume you’d like something recent?” the salespony asked.
“That would be best.”
“Well, okay. Erm, there was a really big reveal about Jestress’s-“
“Sorry,” Illusion cut him off, “I probably should have been more clear. I’m really looking for more action-related twists. Fights that didn’t end like it seemed they would, clever tricks, that sort of thing.”
“Oh. Right. Well, I haven’t read it yet, but I know the second Harbinger Arc is out and it’s almost guaranteed to have something like that. It’s more than one comic, though.”
And therefore would be useless unless Illusion stapled a half-dozen booklets together, which would definitely tip Prism off. “Sorry, I’m afraid that won’t work.”
“Ok, um… Oh! I just read The Deviants Issue 41. It was actually more about Spectrum, Aerial, and
Birr, though. You probably have no idea who they are. Erm, it was about the big fight between the Deviants and Spectrum. It’s sort of been coming for a long time, but the actual fight was a bit sudden and nobody expected Spectrum to lose as badly as he did–”
“The villain wins?” Illusion asked. That sounded like almost exactly what he was looking for.
“Well, the Deviants aren’t villains, exactly, but yeah, they defeated Spectrum pretty soundly. And it was kind of out of left field, because everypony thought they weren’t going to fight until after the second Harbinger Arc.”
“I’ll take it,” Illusion abruptly decided. It sounded like just the sort of story he was looking for. Prism and Spectrum, even their names are alike. “Ah, and both of these too, please.” Illusion laid the comics he had placed in his saddlebags on the counter, then waited while the clerk returned with the issue of The Deviants.
“That’ll be… thirty seven bits. I hope your friends enjoy those comics.” The clerk dropped the three books into a bag as Illusion hoofed him the money.
That is the plan. Illusion thought as he walked out of the store. Well… it’s the idea, anyway.
…
The sunrise over Ponyville broke slowly, rich in red and orange streaks. The Apple Family, accompanied by a certain orange pegasus guest, would likely have risen from their slumber, but few others stirred. The marketplace was all but abandoned, the footpaths and wide streets empty of traffic. Only a few buildings showed any signs of activity.
One of these rare establishments was the Ponyville Post Office, whose chief mailmare demanded an early schedule to better manage the inevitable mixups she had developed a keen understanding of during her career. Even as the sun won free of the horizon to show its full glory, the mailponies of Ponyville were arriving to start sorting, stacking, and distributing the day’s mail.
As the post office started to hum with activity, a lonely crow winged its way down to perch in a tree a few feet from the office’s exterior mailbox, resting itself as it watched the latecomers straggle in. Its beady eyes betrayed no sign of its hidden purpose, nor did its gait or posture convey anything of its mischievous intent.
The real tell was when the branch broke.
With a snap that echoed like a cannon in the early morning stillness, the crow and its failing perch both suddenly found themselves at the mercy of gravity, The bird, flopping wildly, smacked against both the branch and the tree on the way down. With a less resounding but more drawn-out crunch, it crashed to the ground, concluding its impact by vanishing amidst a flash of white light. Illusion groaned, his body bruised from his unintended descent.
Slowly, painfully, Illusion raised himself up. It took him a few seconds to remember his intention of stealth, and a few more to reform the crow disguise. Illusion worked quickly, but the light from his magic still glowed brightly in the early dawn light.
Once the crow had reformed, sharing a few of its creator’s injuries, it looked around. Fortunately, it seemed nobody had witnessed Illusion briefly revealing himself. Croaking in satisfaction, the crow flapped up to the mailbox, where it landed, hunching over.
The crow perched on the mailbox, seemingly unconcerned despite its bedraggled appearance. It gave a short caw, moved its head as if trying to catch something out of the corner of its eye, and then started to preen its battered feathers.
As the crow attended to its wing, the mailbox door slide softly open. There was a faint pop accompanied by a flash of light, and a manila envelope was dropped into the mail slot.
The crow, its preening abandoned midway through, glanced about furtively.
Seeing nothing amiss, it went back to working on its feathers. Two more small pops with accompanying flashes sounded before the mailbox closed. With a final surreptitious sweep, the crow flew off. It first angled towards the same tree it had perched in after arriving, but then seemed to think better of it and instead landed on the post office roof.
The crow stood there, silent save for the occasional caw, until it witnessed a mailpony emerge from the office, unlock the back of the box, and slip is contents into his saddlebags. He paid no attention to the three manila packages among his cargo.
The crow flew away, its work complete. Once it had gotten far enough from Ponyville that it would be out of the eyes of any early weather patrols, the crow flashed and changed back into the shape of Illusion. He grinned. His hard work was finished, and now came the fun part. It is, as Dad would say, time to sit back and let the cartoon take its course.
Illusion had always wondered what a cartoon was, but he hadn’t asked. It wasn’t as though his father’s sayings made sense.
…
Powered Comics Fun Fact: Of all the Power Ponies, Saddle Rager is unquestionably the most powerful in direct physical confrontations, and the Masked Matterhorn the most versatile and technically experienced heroine. However, in terms of reach, battlefield control, and overall firepower, both of these mares are outclassed by Zapp, whose meterokinesis makes her the strongest Power Pony in the sky. Zapp is more than just a mare with a magic amulet: her Thunderbolt contains the essence of the Roaman deity Zapp Fulmina, a pegasi weather goddess. With access to the all the sacrifices, stories, loyalty, and even the identity accorded to Zapp Fulmina by the ancient Roamans, the modern Zapp possess power, wisdom, and slightly reckless bravery in spades. She is both one of the Power Ponies’ strongest members and their expert on ancient magic. Zapp has only recently lost her monopoly on the power of the ancient Roaman pantheon: she now shares it with Young Harmony’s Birr, holder of the Icicle of Birr Stiriaque, Zapp’s mythological younger brother.