Final Test
I spent years trying to walk in her hoofsteps. I gave everything for her to see that I…
I love her.
Sitting here and skimming through each of these damn books I realize that now. When I had nightmares she would be there to take them away. When I didn’t make a perfect score she would be there to tell me that I was still her best student. When I doubted, it was her encouragement that pushed me further. Princess Celestia loves me, and I know that.
Then why does she not believe in me like I her?
My eyes skim past terrible secrets and dark rituals. Shadows and power were hidden away in these tattered pages. A world kept locked away and for what? I’m not a simple pony. I am not your average unicorn. These secrets are ones she could have shared with me! We could have shared the burden of holding such power. Burden? No, we could have shared the privilege.
I stop when I find an interesting title. ‘Canterlot Castle: A History Volume II’. This does not seem so terrible. Why lock up the history of-
The book opens to a chapter about artifacts in the castle. Looking down a list I find what has plagued me for weeks.
Magical mirrors (Gateways)
I flip to that page and start reading. A few minutes pass and I wish I had never come here. I knew what I saw in that mirror. There were wings and I saw them. Celestia saw them and she acted like it was nothing! Like a chance for me to be at her side was not important! Why?! It says right here that the mirror can lead to many worlds. Worlds full of great and terrible things that no pony has ever seen! It says the mirror can also lead to alternate versions of its user. One can enter as an earth pony and exit as a pegasus.
A unicorn can enter and return as an alicorn.
I wipe the damn tears from my eyes and lower the book. I am Sunset Shimmer! I exceed every unicorn in Equestria! The professors here couldn’t cast magic on my level even if they tried! They are all lazy and weak! Focusing on one school of magic or science while I focused on all!
Do you want to hang out Sunset?
No! I just want to study! I want to learn so I won’t have to be on your level when I leave this place!
Do you want to come to my birthday Sunset?
Why would I waste time doing something that gives me nothing in return! You may be content with barely having enough magic to be a unicorn but I am not!
It’s all here! Everything I having spend days reaching for! Everything I have cried myself to sleep for. All the nights spent wondering if I would ever amount to anything. All the times I sacrificed friendship so that I could ensure my place at her side and…
…it’s all here. Kept from me by her.
“Sunset, what do you think you are doing in here?”
I turn my head slowly and for once in my life her voice doesn’t soothe me. It hurts me. The closest pony I have to a mother has no faith in me. My words are spat out like venom.
“How dare you keep this kind of magic from me?! You know that I’m ready for this, that I can be great!”
Her brows furrow and she speaks to me in a tone I haven’t heard before. She is speaking to me like I am stranger.
“You could be great. I thought I saw compassion and sincerity in a young filly many years ago, but I see nothing but ambition. You’re being selfish, you need to step back and reflect-“
I step forward and toss the book at her. It strikes a barrier and falls to the floor revealing her fiery expression. She looks like she is going to kill me, but I know better.
“I’m selfish?! That book there says I could become as powerful as an Alicorn princess! I could rule here with you! I could be by your side where I belong! Are you so selfish that you don’t want to share that with me?”
Taking several bold steps forward I stand right before her. She is looking at me like I threatened to blot out her sun. She can’t see that I want to shine with her. I continue to speak, but this time I do not yell.
“I deserve to rule with you, princess. To be your equal, to learn from you and maybe one day surpass you! Do you know what I have given to be here? I’m not deaf! These ears heard your advice to bond with others and make friends. I ignored it because that’s what you do! You sacrifice so much to be our princess! You don’t spend time with anyone and have no real friends. You have me and Philomena! You don’t have free time or time to spare. I see you struggle long nights with grading my work and signing legislation. I have tried to sacrifice everything that you have! Does that make me so terrible?”
She’s glaring at me. She shouldn’t be looking at me like that. I love her more than anypony and she is looking at me like that. I feel the tears fall from my eyes and don’t bother to wipe them. I want her to see me hurt. I want her to see just how much she matters to me.
“No, Sunset, being a princess must be earned. I’ve tried to teach you everything, but you’ve turned from it. Every time you say you deserve to get something without the effort, just proves to me that you are not ready.”
In other words, I don’t want to share with you, Sunset.
I shake my head because I know she wouldn't really tell me that. She would never accuse me of not putting forth effort. Not my Celestia, not my princess.
“Sunset Shimmer, I am removing you from the position of my pupil. If we cannot get past this, your studies end here. You are welcome to stay in Canterlot…”
No! She wouldn’t do this! She can’t-
“…but you are no longer welcome in this castle.”
Everything freezes as I just stare at her with wide eyes. In her eyes I see nothing, but disappointment and shame. I look down and away from her gaze. I expect to see a blade in my chest, but I know it’s just my own heart that is breaking. She doesn’t love me. She-
My mind wanders and I remember something from years ago.
The fire at the tip of my horn raged. It hurt, but I had to show her.
“Princess! Princess hurry come look!”
I struggle to maintain control over it. The spell was old and more advanced than anything taught to me by the professors. It was made to demonstrate a unicorns knowledge and their might. Not many could conjure a miniature sun, but I am not many. I am her best student and strongest unicorn alive!
My small body shook and I stagger back as the sun grew slightly. Tiny solar flares reach out and burn the ground before me. This couldn’t happen! Not before she could at least see.
“Princess Celestia hurry!”
My magic flowed and my eyes lit with power. This sun is my creation! I hold power over it not the other way around! The solar flare violently retracted back inwards as I tried to control it. My smile grew as I had succeeded.
Sunset Shimmer, master of suns!
Yet again the star grew and now a small sun the size of a pony floated just above my horn. I cast more magic into my heat barrier. The bushes and trees in the Canterlot garden began to burn. All around me was ash. For a moment I wondered if I should continue. All the grass beneath me was now blackened embers. If I let my barrier down I would burn as well.
No. She has to see!
My horn burned brightly as I applied enough force to crush a house, around the star. It’s fiery arcs and heat waves seemed to reach out for me. I felt my horn being pulled on. No, my entire body was being pulled on.
Gravity!
I can’t die like this! What kind of unicorn dies from their own spell? Weak and stupid ones! I won’t be killed by my own magic I won’t! I am in control! I am the caster! This star is nothing! I will raise it like she raises the sun!
The star grew again and was now larger than Celestia herself. I push back against it’s gravity and scream as my barrier slowly begins to fail. I have to channel my magic from the barrier in order to push back. My skin feels like it is boiling, but the star is moving. It rises higher and higher into the sky until a yellow beam pierces it. The sky is on fire and my star is destroyed…
My eyes trace the beam and I find the caster. There she is! Celestia! I try to gallop towards her and suddenly fall in agony. So much pain. I open my mouth to scream, but my face burns when doing so. I look at my front hooves and understand why I was hurting. My fur is all but gone and what was left was blackened. The skin that I can see is seared red. I scream.
“Sunset! Sunset!”
Celestia teleports to my side and picks me up in her hooves. Her horn glows and all I can see is a golden light. I see this light for what feels like hours. Eventually the magic fades and the pain is gone. Celestia is still holding me.
“Princess! Did you see?”
She is frowning and it hurts. Did she not like my spell?
“Never! Never do that again! Do you hear me, Sunset? Never! I order you! As a princess and a teacher! Never!”
My jaw quivers and I begin to cry. It wasn’t good! Of course it wasn’t! She’s the princess! She controls the sun! Tiny ones aren’t impressive at all! I suddenly find myself lost in her coat as she squeezes me tightly.
“No star could ever impressive enough to risk losing you. Do you understand? You never have to prove your strength like that again. I can replace the Canterlot gardens a thousand times. I can’t replace you. You are my favorite little pony, Sunset.”
I stop crying and look up at her. For the first time in my life I saw Princess Celestia cry and I know immediately just how much she loved me. I hug her with all my might.
“I’m sorry, princess! I just want to be like you! I want to help raise the sun so you can sleep! I know how much you hate waking up early and I don’t think it’s fair! You need to sleep in sometimes and-“
She lifts me off of her and places me down.
“Sunset, I don’t mind lifting up that sun every morning. I do that so you never have to worry about it. No pony ever has to worry about it. You and every other pony should be able to live without wondering if the sun will rise. Please Sunset, I am begging you. Don’t ever risk your life like that again. If I lost you too… I don’t know if I could ever raise the sun again.”
It’s a test.
The Test.
The final test to see if I am ready. I was burned before and she picked me up then. She just wants to see if I can withstand the heat now. It still burns, but I have to push through. I look up at her and a part of me wishes I was the hurt filly that she would hold in her hooves.
Test or not it hurts and on the off chance that I’m wrong… she’ll hate me.
Maybe she already does. Time starts to flow again and I nod to let her know I understand.
“How can you not see it, princess? How can you not see how great I deserve to be? How great, we can be? We won’t get past this. Not now at least, but in time I am going to show you just how much I’ve studied! You’re going to see a Sunset that will leave you speechless and only then will you realize how wrong you are now! I’m no longer welcome in this castle? Is that it? That’s all you can say to me after everything!”
I stand face to face with the sun. Her guards were sweating and I was burning, but it’s a fire I have felt before. Celestia didn’t narrow her eyes. Instead, her piercing gaze just stayed on me.
“No that’s not all. Sunset Shimmer, I neglected to see this selfishness early on because, I care for you deeply. My lack of attention in that regard is partly to blame for your actions. On the other hoof, we are ultimately responsible for our own choices, Sunset. Let that be our last lesson together. It is our actions that determine the direction of our lives. You never once let anypony in, and for the second time in my long life I allowed the pony closest to me to stray. You would not let friendship or kindness into your heart, but instead you allowed darkness and greed to corrupt you. I am sorry, Sunset. We failed.”
I walk around her and leave.
“This is the biggest mistake you’ll ever make in your life. One day you will stop being blinded by your light and see it.”
I left her and the guards. I’ll pass her damn test. I failed? Me? Since when? I am expelled for failing and she gets nothing? I am responsible for my life and where it leads, yet there your stand! Pushing me away! Ending everything…
I stop in the hallway. My legs feel so weak and I just want to stop. If this was a test why does it hurt so much? I look around these familiar halls and remember over a decade of joy spent learning. Listening and hanging on her every word, waiting for the next lesson. Admiring her opinions on theoretical spells and formulas. Picking her brain about old literature. Memories that made my heart ache even more.
The sound of a clearing throat made me realize that the guards had followed me. I sigh and continue to walk when another thought hits me. There is an alternate version of Sunset Shimmer. The one that I told her about! I’ll make her see sooner, rather than later.
Looking over my shoulder I could see that these two weren’t going to let me out of their sight. I narrow my eyes at them and then galloped as fast as I can. The mirror is close. I am going to use it and they will see!
As I approach the room, I saw the sealed doors. I charge my horn and send a massive wave of energy towards them. They burst into thousands of splintered pieces and through the smoke I see the glint of the reflective glass.
Now for the guards…
My hooves skid against the smooth floor and I turn to face them. I cast a bolt of lightning towards the one on the right and watch as he fell to the ground twitching. With another bolt the other guard was taken care of and now I had full access to the mirror.
I watch both guards for a moment. I don’t blame them for what was happening to me and need to be sure that I have not killed them. I see both chests rise and fall. That’s good enough for me.
My eyes look into the mirror. Nothing is happening. I stare and watch my reflection. Nothing is happening! I wrap the mirror in magic. Maybe I can charge it somehow and-
Oh my.
I see me. The other me. The Sunset that she would be proud of. Beautiful and powerful wings with a long sharp horn. A princess worthy of recognition! I don’t know how or why, but I see a beautiful vision. There is a binary sunset. A magnificent golden sun illuminates the land. It’s warm golden hue is calming. Beneath it a sun of equal size shine a deep red. The red and gold sky shimmer and create something perfect.
“Oh, Sunset Shimmer… No…”
Her trembling voice causes me to turn my head. Celestia was standing at the entrance. That is the second time I have seen her cry. I hate seeing her cry but she hurt me to. I look at her and see her head barely shake. My hoof touches the mirror. At my touch it ripples like a pool of mercury.
“Sunset…”
I smile for her.
“You’ll see it… I promise…”