Welcome to Equestria, dood.

by Fusion Fool the 3rd


Want It, Need It, Dood

The late updates is because we Prinnies work 20 hour days, so we only have 4 hours of free time, so yea, and most prinnies wanna spend that sleeping, dood.


~dood~[/hr]

A week has passed since Gigavolt attacked us at Sugarcube Corner, ever since then, the Mane6 has been making sure we are never left alone, but at the same time, we are forced to work harder then usual, not as bad as back in Hades, mind you, dood. The girls have been more cautious around us ever since they found out we are criminals from the human world, dood, so they make sure we earn our reincarnation by working us half way to the bone, our eight hours a day has changed to twelve hour days, but the pay remains the same, so that’s still good for us, dood.

According to Master Cupcake, Pinkie and him ran around Ponyville giving invitations to her 'best-est' friends, so it'll be a small gathering of six ponies, a dragon-whelp, and five prinnies, dood. Twilight of course wanted to make sure she was prepared for any surprises Pinkie may throw at her, in case Pinkie wanted to prank her guests. Me and Mr. K are basically cleaning the library, Chocolate was sent to help Applejack with the apple harvest, and Super Pal is helping Fluttershy taking care of animals, Spike is being Twilight's number one assistant at the moment, getting her supplies and what-not, in other words, dood, it'll be a boring day until the party tonight.

“I'm pretty sure she'll just spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says, while dusting one of the bookshelves, dood.

“Nah, too simple dood, I bet she'll make water balloons and fill them with red paint, then drop them on everyone, dood.” I say, just to shut him up, shame the fanfiction writers have warped his mind, dood.

“What if she drugged the cupcakes, dood? And we all wake up in her basement, with our entrails everywhere and being used as ingredients for the cupcakes she sells up front? If this is the case and I don't get the chance to say it, can some one tell her to bake me into a muffin and serve me to Derpy, dood? She needs some good will after that parental attack from Last Round-up, dood.” Mr. K pleads, dood.

Twilight and Spike look at him like he's a mental patient, which isn't far off, dood. “She won't bake us into cupcakes, dood, Me and Master Cupcake just explained it to you, seven times yesterday, dood.” I am about ready to show him love and tolerance with the back of my flipper, dood.

“What sort of imagination do you prinnies have?” Twilight asks, confused and a minute away from being disgusted, dood.

“Humans and Prinnies have our fanart and fanfiction, dood, ofter used as a power of good to make our fellow bronies know that 'this pony is a bad ass' or this pony is too cute' or unfortunate cases that ruin our fandom in the eyes of those that want My Little Pony to stay innocent, like clopfics and grimdark, Mr. K here takes grimdark too seriously, and only the Rainbow Dash prinnies like the clopfics since Rainbow Dash is basically a flying pride symbol to the community, but again, that’s frowned upon to many of us, as well, dood.” I explain, dood.

Twilight and Spike look on, trying to process what I just said, dood. “So bronies can be the nicest of people or the creepiest.” Twilight tries to piece together.

“Yes, dood, and it's the creepiness that makes everyone think we bronies are middle aged men in our underwear watching a little girl's show giggling like we should be in a asylum, dood.” I said.

Mr. K starts poking me with the duster in his flipper. “I think we should stop raping the fourth wall, dood, otherwise people may think this is a clopfic with how badly we are beating it.” I nod in agreement, dood.

Lady Sparkle and Spike are both confused beyond belief, dood. “Is this the same fourth wall Pinkie talks about?” Twilight asks.

“Probably, dood.” Mr. K says.

“Oh darn, we are so late, Fusion, why didn't you tell me the party was happening now?” Twilight scolds me, dood.

“I was trying to get your attention for a half hour, dood, you kicked me in the face ten minutes ago telling me to shut up, Mr. K was too scared to go near her because of that savage attack to my beak, dood.”

Spike riding on Twilight's back (lucky son of a bitch, dood) “If you are a fan of Twilight like you claim to be, you'd know that you can't take a book away from Twilight or you might as well be asking for some hurting.” We continue our sprint to Sugarcube Corner, with just seconds to spare, Twilight opens the door, with us following behind her.

We are faced with a rather odd predicament, all the other girls are staring at Twilight, with bedroom eyes, no sign of Master Cupcake, Super Pal, or Chocolate, the floor has five cups of , what I assume to be, punch. The girls start moving towards us, but I am pretty sure they want Twilight, and I am pretty sure they are thinking of what to do with Lady Sparkle's horn, dood.

“Run, dood.” I tell Twilight, she didn't need to be told twice, teleporting out of there, the girls all flood out of there, trying to catch the lavender mare. We start to investigate the party now that the girls are now occupied, dood.

“I knew that Pinkie would spike the punch, dood.” Mr. K says.

Me and Spike look at him, “Why would she fall victim to her own prank, dood?” I ask him.

He tries to defend his logic. "Pinkie is Pinkie, dood."

“Drugged punch, and why aren't the other prinnies here?” Spike asks “If all the girls were here, the other prinnies should have been here too.” We all come to a simple conclusion, Gigavolt, dood.

“OK, me and Spike will go find Gigavolt, Mr. K, you go help Twilight, dood.” I ordered.

“SWEET, DOOD!” he answered.

“No shipping, dood” I uttered.

“Aw man, dood.” Mr. K didn't like that, I am pretty sure he'd try to mess with Twilight to purposely have it all happen.

“Come on, dood. Can't we chalk this up to Twilight's already great swag and let them have her?” He tried to reason with me.

“Cause I am trying to keep MLP innocent, not into a pervert's paradise, dood.” I say, I think I heard him say “then why write this situation into your story, dood.” under his breath as he walks out the door. Me and Spike start patrolling the area, dood.

Every once in awhile, I see Mr. K trying to mess with Rainbow Dash's flying by steering her away from Twilight, only to be ninja kicked by Rarity a little while later, or bucked off by Applejack. He also tries to push the ponies away from her, and he also managed to make a fake Twilight, which actually fooled them for 5 minutes before they proceeded to beat Mr. K into the dirt then go back to their magic hunt (see what I did thar, dood?).

Me and Spike were not making any progress, dood. No sign of a electrical pony with three prinny captives, only darkness, the sounds of giggling and one sound of fear, and then the sound of “shut up” from what I think is the ponies trying to sleep.

After 20 minutes of searching we find Gigavolt getting ready to send our friends to Hades, I go in and let loose Prinny Barrage, which catches her by surprise, “Damn, at least this saves me some time in finding you, where is Mr. Kamikaze, Fusion Fool?” She asks, recovering from my attack, I was about to answer her, until all of us see him pulling on Applejack's tail, trying to slow her down from catching Twilight, dood. “I see, so my plan worked rather well.”

Me and Spike tried to look as angry as a baby dragon and a prinny can look> “You drugged the punch with a love potion, didn't you.” Spike accuses, dood.

The green mare remained neutral in her facial features, dood.“Yes, I wanted to try out a little potion me and some professors made, the infamous, 'Want it, Need It' spell was our base of course, but I had to modify it so that appears to be a simple love spell, for you see, this potion, makes the victims dependent on the very existence of the first person they see, it was a real gamble on the girls not looking at each other after they took the first sip, but chance is something I do enjoy.”

Me and Spike look at this demented mare in astonishment, dood. “That’s scary, dood.” I say, cause this is a inconvenience to everyone not just the victims. “But I am giving you prinnies what you want, Twilight has lordship over her friends, with a command the girls will do anything she tells her too, the love by product of it all makes them want a physical touch like a pat on the head or a hug, or something more meaningful, as a reward.” Gigavolt uses her zap tap to trip me and Spike, making us fall on our butts, dood.

“Now, Fusion Fool, be a dear and stand with your brothers, so I can get you all, I can get that weakling Mr. K easily afterwords.” she says, Spike goes up to try and punch her only to do no damage, “I don't think dragon brats can hurt a demon pony of lv. 3000, but with a push of my hooves into your skull, I can kill you.” Spike backs away for a moment, “Good move, kid.” I walk up to the mean, mean, mare, defeated.

Spike, looks to his side to see Twilight running near us, drugged friends, behind her, this gives him a idea. “Hey Twilight, order the girls, tell them to charge Gigavolt.”

Twilight hears this and start running in Gigavolt's direction, “Girls, charge the green unicorn and tie her up.” Twilight yells, she then makes a sharp turn to find a hiding spot, while the girls go from bedroom eyes to beastly aggressive eyes, Rainbow Dash effectively smashing into Gigavolt, hooves first, with the girls smashing into her, I still can't believe I just saw Fluttershy do a elbow drop to Gigavolt's Abdomen, dood, and Applejack comes in with some rope, tying the demon up around her midsection with her forelimbs caught under the rope,

“Whats the point of tying a unicorn up if I can magic myself out of this?” Gigavolt asks, Twilight pokes her head out of a bush she was hiding in to use her magic to keep the demon pony from casting anything, a impressive feat, dood.

“Hah, I got her, now Twilight will reward me!” says the brainwashed pegasus, dood.

“Um, I think my technique got her, Rainbow, but I guess if you want, I just want my chance at Twi, too.” Fluttershy mumbled, dood.

Applejack starts getting annoyed, dood. “My rope, my win, now where are ya, Twi?”

Rarity pushes Applejack to the side. “Come now, dear. I won this. Twilight is mine.”

They all start to argue on who Twilight should reward and who should have her, basic brainwashed shipping thing, dood, Pinkie pops up with Twilight in her front hooves, saying “Twilight is mine, I win the brainwashed love game, is Twilight my prize?” she says, all the other giving her death glares, and THE stare from Fluttershy, Pinkie blissfully ignores them all,

“What is the antidote, Gigavolt, or I tell these girls to do something drastic.” Twilight threatens, trying to get herself out of Pinkie's grip, dood.

Gigavolt gave Twilight a look that screams you can't do sh*t, dood. “I think whatever they have planned for you is worse then what you can tell them to do to me.” she says, dood.

Twilight gives her a mean smirk, dood. “Rainbow, can you get me a Ursa Minor?”

"You got it!” the cyan pegasus says, as she zooms into the forest, dood.

“Pinkie get me the punch from the party, she gives Twilight a salute with her left hoof, letting Twilight go in the process, running back into Sugarcube Corner. Tthe rest of you, guard Gigavolt.” the remaining ponies in the group stare Gigavolt down, the Stare crippling the demon mare very well, dood.

After a brief explanation on the potion, Twilight sighed and gave the girls a pat on the head, knowing full well that she'll have to do the same thing for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. With that said, dood, Pinkie comes back with the punch, Twilight rewards her with a pat on the head before Rainbow Dash comes back with a Ursa Minor chasing her.

Twilight uses her magic to gag Gigavolt and feed the punch to the Ursa, all the prinnies and ponies get away from the green unicorn as Twilight uses her magic to make the giant bear look at Gigavolt, the poor mare's eyes go wide as the bear walks to her and hugs her, causing the unicorn to gasp for breath.

Twilight levitates the mare out of the Ursa grip, removes the gag but also lowering the volume of Gigavolt's voice so she doesn't order the Ursa to attack, “How do you reverse this?” she orders.

“Poison Joke, poison joke is the cure, make a tea out of it and that will cure it.” Gigavolt replied, glaring at the giant purple bear, dood.

Twilight tells us prinnies to go get the poison joke, after a short trip to Everfree Forest, Twilight brews the prankster plant and feeds it to her friends and the Ursa.

“Did any pony else had a dream where Twilight was just the best pony ever?" Pinkie asked, dood.

All the other ponies groan in agreement, they just can't take the truth, dood. “Must have been a dream, since the best pony is me.” Rainbow Dash exclaims, dood.

Twilight asks Fluttershy to talk to the Ursa and get Rainbow Dash to say sorry, After the Ursa leaves, all that was left to deal with was the handicapped Gigavolt. “Go back home, Gigavolt, you lose again.” Twilight orders, dood.

“Very well, I am at a disadvantage at this time, but I will return, and I will try and get Valvatorez's approval to use any means to return the prinnies to Hades, that also means, by your destruction.” Twilight's ward over Gigavolt's magic gone, she teleports out of Equestria, dood.

Twilight falls to the ground passed out. “What in the hey happened?” Applejack asked.

“She had a long night, and I think she has done enough running to last her the year, dood.” I say, as we prinnies go to lift Twilight, and us and Spike leave to take Twilight to bed. Eventually all these failures will get Valvatorez to get us, and when that day comes, we were ready since chapter 2, dood.

Next Chapter!

Valvatorez: The Want It, Need It spell causes havoc across the Netherworld.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No Fusion Fool doing this? After what just happened, I don't think I can take more of this 'shipping' thing.

Valvatorez: Sardines, or pilchards, are several types of small, oily fish related to herrings, family Clupeidae. The term sardine was first used in English during the early 15th century, and may come from the Mediterranean island of Sardinia, around which sardines were once abundant.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Valvatorez: The terms sardine and pilchard are not precise, and what is meant depends on the region. The United Kingdom's Sea Fish Industry Authority, for example, classifies sardines as young pilchards. One criterion suggests fish shorter in length than 6 inches (15 cm) are sardines, and larger ones pilchards. The FAO/WHO Codex standard for canned sardines cites 21 species that may be classed as sardines; FishBase, a comprehensive database of information about fish, calls at least six species "pilchard", over a dozen just "sardine", and many more with the two basic names qualified by various adjectives.

Fusion Fool: Oh no, he is talking about sardines again, dood.

Applejack: Two can play this game. The apple is the pomaceous fruit of the apple tree, species Malus domestica in the rose family (Rosaceae). It is one of the most widely cultivated tree fruits, and the most widely known of the many members of genus Malus that are used by humans and ponies. Apples grow on small, deciduous trees. The tree originated in Western Neighsia or Asia for the human world, where its wild ancestor, Malus sieversii, is still found today. Apples have been grown for thousands of years in Asia(Neighsia) and Europe(Unicornia), and were brought to North America(Equestria) by European colonists(Apple Family). Apples have been present in the mythology and religions of many cultures, including Norse, Greek and Christian traditions. In 2010, the fruit's genome was decoded, leading to new understandings of disease control and selective breeding in apple production.

Valvatorez: I didn't know that about apples, but are they rich in Vitamin B12, phosphorus, calcium, potassium, and some trace minerals like iron and selenium, and Omega-3 fatty acids? And did you know they are a good source of vitamin D, calcium, and protein?

Applejack: Not at all, but they have Vitamin A, Thiamine (vit. B1), Riboflavin (vit. B2), Niacin (vit. B3), Pantothenic acid (B5), Vitamin B6, Folate (vit. B9), Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, and Zinc. may also help with heart disease, weight loss, and controlling cholesterol.

Twilight: Don't the seeds of a apple have mild poison?

Applejack: they do, but not very effective to ponies or humans, but birds tend to stay away, it's just important to eat them in moderation.

Valvatorez: With the exception of Sardines, it should be common knowledge to enjoy your favorite food in moderation, but sardines must be enjoyed all the time, and at every chance you get.

Twilight Sparkle: True shame that ponies are herbivores, and don't eat meat like sardines.

Valvatorez: YOU POOR CREATURES!

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I'd like to thank copy and paste for their usefulness in this chapter, I also want to thank Wikipedia for the apple and sardine facts, dood.