I remembered the first time I met my love. A friend of mine introduced me to him and said that he was her assistant. I never really thought much for him for my time in school, though. He always just seemed like that one guy in the background. However, it wasn't until one rough day in class.
I was never a sleeper. I could barely sleep at night, since something would always keep me awake, be it the twinkling stars, the occasional shooting star, or even the haunting picture of a mare embedded on the moon. How could I sleep when so much wonderment was going on above me during this time? That isn't to say that I don't get tired though. However, with no way to sleep at the night, I had to make up for it during the day, which most of it is spent in class.
While I didn't get called out by the teacher - probably because I was not in his line of sight - I wasn't able to get any notes for upcoming tests. There was one in particular, an exam, that I ended up fretting over because of my narcolepsy. I remembered how I spent one hour in the library tossing around books to learn about how magic could be applied to everyday life just so I could at least have a scrap of preparation.
Just when I was about to cry from the stress, he came into my life. As I had tons upon tons of books splayed out, I saw the door open and the little assistant stepping in with a huge stack of paper.
"Hey Moondancer, I was taking notes for Twilight and I figured you could use some too." It was the first time he ever spoke directly to me. His small, innocent voice made my heart flutter. He placed it on the table as I smiled and told him thanks. Because of him, I was able to pass the exam. Not with flying colors, but a B is better than getting an F in my opinion.
However, that was the only time I saw him. Twilight Sparkle was a very antisocial pony and when we graduated, she buried her head into her books. She didn't even have time to talk with her brother. I guess being the apprentice of the Princess would cause her to prioritize her studies above all else.
Though because of this, I wasn't able to see him that much. After the graduation, I always felt a hole in my heart. Not even the night sky could quell it. The benefit to no more class was that I could easily sleep in, but I never slept comfortably. That is until one day. I had decided to hold a party for everyone just to see if they could fix this hole I had. A few hours before the party though, I had a knock at the door.
It was him. He grew a little bigger than the last time I saw him in the library, but I still recognized his purple scales and cute green eyes anywhere.
"Hey Moondancer... Me and Twilight can't come to the party. We got assigned to go to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration. We won't be long though, I promise! I just figured that before we left, I'd give this to you." He gave me a teddy bear. Although it was stitched up and wasn't perfect, I smiled and took it.
"Aaaw, thank you, Spike..." I said.
"Well, I gotta get going. Ponyville can't organize itself." With a giggle, he ran off. I held the teddy bear close to me.
That night was perhaps the most memorable night of all. The mare faded from the moon and the night lasted longer than all the other nights combined. I never knew the reason why, but me and the other ponies enjoyed it regardless and had a great party. It forever was remembered as "The Grand Star-Gazing Night". It was perhaps the best night ever for me. Especially since it was the first night in a long time that I slept.
As I slept, I held my teddy bear close to me and thought of Spike. For whatever reason, his adorable face combined with his voice had always made me drift to sleep more times than I can ever count. Spike never came back from Ponyville, though. I always thought of Spike despite this and constantly dreamed of him, usually either being my assistant or just going on a stroll with him. One day, however, I got a visit from Lyra, a denizen of Ponyville. She was a close friend to Minuette, a classmate of mine, and we had a bit of a dinner together.
"So, any crushes?" Lyra asked me.
"No... None that I can think of." I said.
"Oh come on, there has to be somepony you like!" She said. That's when I realized. All those moments I thought of Spike and how he made me happy, all those times I slept with the teddy bear he gave me, it convinced me of one thing.
"...Yes, I do have a crush... but no on a pony." I leaned in and whispered to her. "I have a crush on a dragon." Lyra just stood there and shrugged.
"Okay." She said.
"Y-you're not shocked? I mean, it's weird, right?" I asked.
"Please, if you know about the kinds of crushes I have had, you wouldn't call it weird." She sipped on some water. "Now that I thought about it, we did have a dragon move into Ponyville. A baby dragon." As soon as she said that, my hooves slammed onto the table.
"Huh!? Was his scales purple?" I asked. She nodded.
"Yeah. He came over with that purple unicorn. Apparently Celestia decreed that she moved there and study at the library." She told me. My smile slowly faded to a frown. While we finished the dinner on a happy note, my thoughts were on Spike and his move to Ponyville. Why didn't he tell me? Why did Celestia make it official business that he'd be there? I knew that I had to get the answers straight from Celestia herself.
The next morning I headed to her castle and entered her hall. Requesting an audience with the Princess was easy enough. It was going through with it that was the hard part. I saw her on her throne. While she had kept a calm demeanor, I felt shivers up my spine regarding my confrontation with her. It didn't help that her guards were eying me.
"Princess Celestia." I bowed.
"Ah, Moondancer. A pleasant day for you to show up. What brings you here?" She put away a scroll. I looked to her. The next few moments were filled with silence as I try to find the words. Do I start by asking why Spike is in Ponyville? No... I didn't want to sound jealous. Do I ease her into the conversation? No. She's a busy mare and I'm already wasting my time hesitating to speak.
"Something the matter?" She asked me. I just noticed my eyes had shed a tear. I quickly wiped them away.
"N-no, it's nothing." I told her. I turned around and tried to leave, but Celestia spoke up.
"Wait." I stopped. "I was going to give you this in the mail, but since you're here, I might as well give it to you." I turned around and saw a golden ticket bathed in her magic aura. As I tried to get it, my jaw dropped with joy as I realized just what it was: A ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. "I had the feeling that you miss your friend. Well, she's coming to the Gala and I figured this would be a good time for you to reacquaint yourself with her." Her smile shook off all the troubles in my body as I used my magic to take the ticket.
"Thank you, Princess!" I said. The Princess giggled as I gave a huge smile and skipped on my way out of the castle.
The Gala was coming in a month. I prepared myself for it, from getting a hand-me-down dress from my mom that surprisingly fitted me to even practicing slow waltzes from some of the higher up Canterlot civilians. As I slept, I continued to dream of Spike, this time with him and me at the Gala, dancing the night away. Some of these dreams ended with me and Spike embracing and kissing, other times it ended with me and him getting married.
I never told any other pony about my crush on Spike, as I feared they'd make fun of me. I never made my crush obvious too. I never saw Spike for much of my life, so I never had any photographs of him save for a class photo where he stood beside Twilight. I stared longingly at the picture the day before the Gala. I knew that I would have the second, of not the best night.
During my walk to the Gala - as the place was not far from my house - I practiced my confession towards Spike. I played with my words, trying to get the best summary of my feelings towards him. I even thought of what to say to anyone who'd feel put off by my love, like Twilight. When I approached the castle, I shut myself up. I trotted to the Gala with a smile on my face. And I soon saw him.
Spike, in all his handsomeness. I saw him exit a carriage. His small size resulted in someone to get a wooden block for him to step onto in order to get off. I got over to see if I could help him down, only to find that someone else had helped him down. A white unicorn with a purple, curly mane. I had never seen her before in my life, but she seemed more fancier than any pony I had ever danced with during my practice. Did she have any relations to the Princess? Where did she come from? Anything in my mind revolving around this new mare was shattered with one single phrase.
"Thank you, Rarity."
It wasn't so much that he thanked her. It was the tone of voice he used it in. I recognized that tone. It was the same tone I used when I thanked him for the notes. Appreciation mixed with affection. I could see it in Spike's eyes. It didn't matter of this pony was from Canterlot or Ponyville now. He loved her. Not me. I just stood there as he and Rarity, along with Twilight and a couple of other friends, headed to the Gala. I never told him. I never said I loved him. Now I can't. I lost him.
I winced and ran off. I could hear Twilight call for me, but I ignored her. How could I face Spike knowing that his feelings are for someone else?
Donuts always were my comfort food. I probably shocked the owner when I ordered two baker's dozen all by myself. I didn't care. I needed to get the sadness out of my system. As I ate, I cried and looked to the moon. I never noticed how clear it was until today. The picture of the mare had disappeared and no one had any idea what happened. I just looked at the sky and felt something that I never would have thought in a million years: apathy.
Apathy towards the night sky that I loved so much. My heart was so empty that not even the beautiful stars could fill it. The only thing that could help me now was donuts. Joe gave me a few donuts to start. As I began to dig in, I heard the door open.
And that's when I saw him: Spike. At first, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to tell him off, for I still had a place for him in my heart, but seeing him with that unicorn blew my confession out of the water. I just waved to him like an old friend.
"Moondancer!" Spike ran to me and sat next to me. "Twilight said she saw you at the Gala, but I couldn't find you! I didn't know you were here!"
"Why aren't you with Rarity?" My mind wanted me to ask this, but I shook my head. "I got hungry. Besides, the Gala takes a few minutes to get going." I looked at him. "Hey, where's Twilight?" I could at least ask him that.
"Oh... Right. Well, as soon as we got into the castle, Twilight and her friends ran off to do their own thing and I was left alone. I had everything planned for them and they just leave me in the dust." He frowned. I wanted to give him a hug so bad. I decided to play it subtle. I don't know how close he and Rarity are, so I placed my hoof on his claw. "Well, I'm free for the night... You want to eat donuts with me?" I asked him. He smiled and nodded. He jumped up onto a chair and we both ate donuts for the rest of the night.
When we were finished, I smiled to him.
"Thank you, Spike." I said. I fought back tears as I trotted away. That's when I heard Spike land on the ground.
"Wait, Moondancer!" Spike called to me. I turned and saw him hold a flower. A pink rose. "I was going to give this to Rarity, but she left before I could even give it. I figured to give it you instead." He said.
"Spike... you shouldn't have..." I said.
"You hung out with me more than my friends did tonight. I wanted to thank you for that." With that, I began to cry and I embraced Spike.
"Thank you!" I tried hard to stop the words "I love you" from escaping my mouth, but I could feel his little arms hold me.
"You're welcome." He said in perhaps the most softest voice he could ever say to me. We held each other for a brief moment before we let go and went our separate ways.
I never did tell him that I loved him. And I never plan to. The time will come when either I'll find Mr. Perfect or things won't work out between him and Rarity, so I never engaged in talking to him. However, my rests have been getting more and more peaceful since that night and while I stopped dreaming of Spike, I could always look at the flower he gave me that night and remember the moment we shared. In a way, I always felt like I had conveyed my feelings in that one hug and that rose will always remind me that I did in fact say to him: I loved you.