Portals Are Sometimes Fun

by Delta


Chapter 9

"How are we gonna tell Justin that he's been turned into a pony?" Twilight asked.

"I will. Since I'm the one that caused him to land into the Poison Joke." Rainbow Dash told Twilight.

"I hope the poor thing takes the news okay," Rarity said. "I got done with his tuxedo."

"He looks a lot different than what he did when he was human." Pinkie said, inspecting the pony Justin.

"It just makes me wonder why he turned into a pony, and not anythin' else." Applejack thought. Fluttershy kept quiet, looking at Justin. He started to wake up.


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My head was pounding and my body felt weird. I open my eyes and see the girls all around me. My vision was a little blurry, but I could tell it was them. "What's up?"

"Justin,How many fingers am I holding up?" Rainbow Dash asked, holding up her hoof.

"Trick question. You're a pony. You don't have fingers."

"Alright good. Now, tell me, how many fingers do you have?"

"Ten. Why do you as-?" I lifted up what used to be my arm and looked at the end of it. I had purple hooves. My whole body was a pony. "What happened to me? Did you do this as a prank, Twilight?"

"No, I would never use magic as a prank. It was this magical plant called Poison Joke. It takes what your best at doing and changes it up. I'm good at magic, so it made my horn unusable. Why it turned you into a pony is beyond me."

"Well, I'm only good at two things. Internet, and being a human. It can't change me into the internet, so it turned me into a pony. But, hey, that's just my theory. So what do I look like?" Twilight levitated a mirror in front of me as I sat up. I looked in it and I was still wearing my clothes. At least my clothes didn't faze into my body. I took my clothes off and looked into the mirror. I have a purple coat and green mane. "Aw man. I'm a pegasus. I wanted to be a unicorn." I said a little disappointed. I stood up as best as I could and turned to my side to see if I had a cutie mark. It was an 8-bit toaster and a smiling piece of toast coming out of the toaster. And on the toaster were the letters F and J. "Okay. That's awesome."

"None of us were able to figure out what it means."

"It stands for Funny Junk. It's a website I go to on the internet." The girls all looked at me in confusion. "I can't believe I've been asleep for about an hour or two. It feels like it's been three days."

"It has! It's Friday!" Pinkie said.

"Oh great. I missed three days of work. Aloe and Lotus are gonna be pissed~."

"Actually, I think the Spa is still closed down for maintenance." Rarity told me.

"Okay, good. So, how do I turn back into a human?"

"With this herbal potion I brewed, you shall be able to turn back to the old you."

"Alright, cool. Just poor it on me and I can be human again."

"Uh, Justin. You need to be in a big tub filled with hot water for it to work. And the only big tub in Ponyville is in the Spa." Twilight informed me.

"Well isn't that just fan-freaking-tastic. I have to stay a pony for awhile." I said glumly.

"In Canterlot, the Princess has a big tub you could borrow. You just have to be a pony until Sunday." Twilight said, trying to make me feel better.

"Alright, what are we waiting for? Let's go~!" I said, over enthusiastically. I barely lifted my front hoof and fell down to the floor. My hind legs were still standing and I just laid on the floor. All the girls started giggling at me. "Ow. My pride."

"Hahaha! I'm sorry, Justin. It's just so funny seeing a grown pony fall down on his first step." Rainbow Dash said, rolling on the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go." I told them in an angry tone. I was too lazy to learn how to walk on all fours, so I started moving my two hind legs and rubbed half my body on the ground.

"Hey, that's how Sweetie Belle walks when she's bored." Rarity pointed out.

"I'm sure it's freaking adorable, but I don't want anyone else to know that I'm a pony." I used what little strength I had to push open the door to the outside.

"I got your clothes for you, Justin."

"Thanks, Twilight." I pushed my glasses a little bit higher onto my face. They're so small and I can barely see out of them. All the girls followed me out the door and we started walking, flying, or crawling our way to Ponyville. After about twenty minutes of moving down the Everfree Forest trail, Rainbow Dash breaks the silence.

"Hey, Justin. Do you mind opening your wings. I wanna see how big the Poison Joke made them."

"Okay. How do?"

"Just pretend they're like a second pair of arms. You should be able to feel them now."

"Alright." I concentrated on my wings. I slowly started to acknowledge their existence. I was now slowly opening them. They felt weird at first, because it did feel like I had another set of arms. They kept opening and opening until I couldn't rise them up anymore.

"Mmmm. They look nice." Rainbow Dash said in a sensual sort of way.

"Th-they're big." Fluttershy said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew towards me and start touching my wings. It felt weird and tingly.

"What's wrong with them?" Twilight walked over to me and started whispering into my ear.

"To pegasi, the bigger your wings are, the sexier you are." At that, I slammed my wings shut.

"Aww c'mon. Show off your wings." Rainbow Dash whined.

"How 'bout no." I said to her, and continued my way down the trail. I didn't care if the girls were following or not. I wanted this day to end. I heard hoof steps after a minute later.

"So, Justin, mind tellin' us about this 'internet' you have on your world?"

"Sure, AJ. The internet is a glorious place, if you know how to use it and how it works. There are over five million websites on the internet. Websites are places on the internet. And the owner, the Admin, has to keep up with his or her website, make sure there are no viruses, no trolls, and if it needs updating. For example: the website FunnyJunk started in the year 2001. It was a site for hilarity and immaturity. In the beginning, only the Admin could post pictures and videos. After a few years, I don't know when, he started letting other people post on his site. People were posting porn on there, so he had to make a separate link on the site, or else it would get shut down. He called the separate link NSFW, which means Not Safe For Work. So, if people wanted to post porn on the site, they'd have to got to the NSFW section to do so. And if they post it out of the NSFW section, then they get banned. The first time I went on there was the year 2005. I didn't get any of the jokes, so I stopped going. In the year 2011, I started going back. Also, there are rules on the inter-"

"Okay, Justin. That's enough information for one night." Twilight said, interrupting me. We were all still in the Everfree Forest and we started to pass by where I got knocked out. I started staring at the Poison Joke. I hate you so much.. After a few more minutes we arrived at Ponyville. It was night time and we were almost at Twilight's tree house. "Okay everypony, it's time for us to say our goodbyes."

"Goodnight." All, but Rainbow Dash, said in unison.

"See you tomorrow, big boy." She said as she walk by me and slapped my bottom with her wing. I made a small whine at the whole thing. I crawled my way into the library, where Spike was on a ladder putting up books.

"Welcome back, Twilight. Who's your new friend?"

"Spike, this is Justin. The Poison Joke apparently turned him into a pony." Spike looked at me weirdly, then busted out laughing. I crawled over to the ladder he was standing on and kicked it with my back hoof as hard as I could. The ladder fell, but to my luck, on top of me. Spike fell and slammed his back on the floor.

"I hate my life.........so much." I said, in pain. Twilight shook her head and levitated the ladder off of me. "Thanks." Spike got up, holding his back, and walked upstairs slowly. "I hope I didn't hurt him that bad."

"He'll be fine. He just had a long day."

"Same here."

"Now that you're all better, go take a shower."

"Nope! On the floor! Too lazy! Goodnight!" I yelled randomly as I crawled towards my sleeping spot. I kept my back away from Twilight and fell asleep.



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Author's note: Is it just me or are my chapters getting shorter. I really need to make them a lot longer. I do have a great idea for the beginning of Chapter 10. I hope you all liked the sex-crazed Rainbow Dash, because Justin sure as hell didn't.