//------------------------------//
// Grocery Shopping 
// Story: Ask Chatterjoy 
// by Chatterjoy 
//------------------------------//

	Chatterjoy was currently telling her tale to Princess Twilight. The royal had asked where the pegasus went, when Twilight had first arrived at her lair.

"Well every lair needs to be well stocked!" Chatterjoy replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. When Twilight asked what she meant, "You know, basic supplies. The most basic of all supplies. Food!" Chatterjoy's tail lashed happily of the thought of food. Gak gurgled appreciatively a top her head.

"Right, of course," Twilight replied with a shake of her head and a roll of her eyes.

"It was quite a quest, if I say so myself," Chatterjoy said, raising her eyes to look at the goo creature. "We had just left to go to the market..."

Chatterjoy searched high and low for the perfect specimen to fill her cabinet. Only this one would do and no other, and it had to be absolutely perfect. There could be no cut corners, and there could be no stall left unturned! The pegasus put her snout to the ground and started sniffing. Ponies moved out of her way, while continuing their own quests and conversation. A normal day at the market.

Finally she spied what she was looking for. The pear stand. The owner of the stall jumped when Chatterjoy just seemed creep into his view. Her body slowly sliding up on the other side of the counter. "Hello my good stallion!" Chatterjoy greeted in a voice as low as she could make it. "I require sustenance that is the delicious pear."

The stallion released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Rumors had flew about the pegasus giving villainy a try. Chatterjoy then took a pear and licked it. He was about to tell her that she would have to pay for that, when she started talking, "Hmm grown in Equestria. Near White Tail Wood, if I'm not mistaken."

"Actually yes. There are a family of pear farmers that live-"

Chatterjoy gave another lick and looked closely at the pear. "Natural spring water used for the plants. Tru Poo Fertilizer used." Chatterjoy then licked her lips in though before giving another lick. The stallion was quite impressed with Chatterjoy's diagnosis, but she really needed to pay for the pear. The pegasus gave out a hiss and stuck out her tongue, "And a tinge of...insecticide."

"Well, yes. We need to keep the pests off," the stallion replied nervously.

"As well as kill my insides! Mutiny! I dare say mutiny!" Chatterjoy cried angrily. She threw the pear onto the ground and trampled its insecticide ridden corpse. "Insecticide will not win today. Not today." Chatterjoy said.

"Let me get this straight," Twilight said interrupting the pegasus, "You trampled over a perfectly good pear that you tasted without paying for, because of...insecticide?" 

"It kills your insides. I did Ponyville a favor!" Chatterjoy replied her hoof over her heart.

"I didn't peg you for an organic," Twilight stated, mentally noting to pay the pear salespony for the fruit.

"What's that?"

"I'll explain later."

"Then I'll continue my epic tale!"  Chatterjoy exclaimed, diving right back into her story.

"What a disgrace," Chatterjoy thought, searching for another pear stand. Instead she located green and red chiles. "Well, that is another thing we need. Dried chiles make such great decorations and make the home smell so nice." Like with the pear salespony Chatterjoy crept into the peripheral of the mare running the stall.

"Oh! Chiquita!" The mare replied, "You startled me Chiquita. Can I help you?"

"Why yes good mare," Chatterjoy replied. "May I sample your wares?" The salespony nodded consent.

Like with the pear Chatterjoy licked the red chile and then the green one. "Hmm both grown in Mexicolt. Well water used. Not as good as spring water, but good enough. Ah yes, a hint of Popa Fertilizer. Great brand that one." The mare smiled. Chatterjoy licked again, "Yes, yes. Hoof picked. Ah, not a trace of insecticide! Perfect. I'll take a barrel of both red and green chiles please." 

"That will be a total of twenty-five bits Chiquita," the mare replied kindly. Chatterjoy fished out the correct amount of money and handed it to the kind mare. "Thank you Chiquita."

"I didn't notice any chiles in the lair?" Twilight replied confused. 

"Hmm. That's cause I hung them up in lair number two," Chatterjoy replied, "Their scent was a bit strong for a sofa fort lair."

Twilight was going to ask what was lair number two, when she walked into her home to get blasted with the scent of chiles. Her house was strung with the red and green chiles and her home looked festive, but Chatterjoy was right, these were strong smelling chiles.

"Why are they in my house?"