Well, this sucks. I think I'm going to get to the place of my dreams just to nearly get my blood drained out of me. Oh, sorry, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Kris. Kris Helm, to be precise. Anyway, I'll start from the beginning. I was walking along in Pittsburgh, looking for the mall, when I notice some guy with a goofy grin following me. He's not doing anything, just following me. Just as I'm about to get to the mall, he walks right in front of my and gets in my face.
"Hello!" He said to me happily, a bit too happily. "Looking at your hat, I can guess you're a brony?"
"...yeah, why?" He noticed my custom Rarity hat. It was nothing special, it just had the cutie mark of Rarity, white top, blue brim.
"Well, what if I told you I was Discord, and I want you to go to Ponyville?" He got a mischeiveous grin on his face, and I was beaming with joy, but also a bit suspicious.
"...prove it." I said with a smug grin, thinking that no one could possibly be Discord. Especially seeing how this was the real world, not one the Lauren Faust created. Oh boy, was I wrong. Without any warning, he just punted me into the sky like a football, and, unfortunetly, I was screaming like a little girl the whole way. All of a sudden, as I'm hurdling through space, I stop and wonder, "How am I not dead? How did I just get punted? What's going on?!" Then it hit me. "Oh yeah...Discord...makes sense." Discord, in his actual form, flew beside me.
"Well," Discord started, "I'll answer all of your questions! After all, it's a long way from your world to Ponyville." He was actually taking me? I was excited, but cautious. "Anyway, I'll start with your first question. 'How am I not dead?' Well, there's a bubble of super strong c-"
"Chocolate milk?" I said, know that he loves that stuff for some reason.
"Looks like you really are a brony." He laughed his usual chaotic laugh. "Anyway, it's a little mixture I made of it myself. It's basically impenetrable unless I make it break."
"Well, isn't that neat?" I leaned back, still hurdling through space, but I just got used to it by now. "I'm flying in space with Discord, the god of chaos, inside of an impenetrable chocolate milk bubble...is this for real, or am I extremely high right now?" Discord laughed again.
"Of course this is real! If it wasn't, could I do this?" He snapped his fingers and a feather started tickling me. I was laughing my ass off at this point.
"Okay, okay, I believe you, stop!" I couldn't stop laughing until he snapped his fingers again and the feather dissapeared. "Thank you."
"Okay, now for your next question, 'How did I get punted?' Well, I'm Discord, the god of chaos. Isn't it pretty much self-explanitory?"
"You make a good point." I said. He was the god of chaos after all.
"As for, 'What's going on?', you're going to Ponyville. Every brony's dream, right?"
"Yeah, it is...at least mine."
"Alright, well, we should be there in about 5 minutes. Well, what are you going to be there? A human or something from our universe?"
"Something from your universe. I think it would be kind of awkward to see me just strolling through Ponyville, not to mention all of the questions I'd get. Let me think..." I had no clue what I wanted to be, a unicorn, a pegasus, an earth pony, an alicorn, the possibilities were ridiculous!
"Choose well, because you only get one choice." Discord was looking at me, as if studying me. "Hmm...I think a nice blue-gray coat would work on you. With that...a bit of a messy mane. Short, but not too short. You can choose the colors."
"Well, why not blue and gray? Just to match. Blue mane, gray edges, you know what I mean?"
"That'll work." Discord snapped his fingers and I could feel my body morph. I don't know how to describe it, have you ever had your foot go numb? Imagine that feeling on your entire body.
"Sweet! Now, what to be..." I thought long and hard about this choice. ~While it would be nice to fly, I think magic would be more useful and neat. Hmm...~
"Could I be an unicorn?" I looked back to Discord.
"Sure. Not a bad choice, but not as good as a draconequus." He got a little grin on his face. "Well, I guess it won't be too bad...just have fun...if you know what I mean..."
"...I beg your pardon?" I looked at him. Suddenly, I just seemed to poof onto a hill, in sight of Ponyville.
"Wow...this is going to be great!"
That's what I thought, until I actually saw what was happening...
(END OF CHAPTER 1)