//------------------------------// // Interlude: CMC Vampony Hunters! // Story: Apples in the Moonlight: Crackshipping Applejack and Luna // by bahatumay //------------------------------// “Ah'm tellin' you, they're vamponies!” Apple Bloom insisted. “It's all there. They hate light. They had to be invited in. They knew Luna had done some spooky magic!” “Maybe they're just nocturnal and very polite?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Knocked your who now?” Scootaloo asked. Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah'm not knockin' on nopony,” she said. “Ah'm just sayin' the evidence is all there. That they're vamponies, that is. They're even supposed to be super polite so their victims don't notice they're vamponies!” “So, what? We're going for vampony hunting cutie marks?” Scootaloo asked, frowning. Then she brightened. “Sounds fun to me!” She stuck her hoof in, and her friends followed suit. “Cutie mark crusaders vampony hunters! Yay!” * * * Apple Bloom grinned as her friends returned. “Got everything?” “Garlic!” Scootaloo said, producing bulbs on a string. “Nice and nasty-smelling.” “I got mine!” Sweetie said, holding up a bag. “Lots of rice. And Rarity doesn't even know it's gone.” * * * Rarity stared slack-jawed at the little pile of rice in her pantry and the narrow trail that led out the kitchen door, across the floor through her workshop, and out into the street. Her eye began to twitch, and finally her steam managed to gather itself in her chest and force itself out of her mouth, coalescing into an ear-splitting shriek. “Sweetie Beeeeelle!!” * * * “And Ah've got this!” Apple Bloom said, holding up what looked an awful lot like… “A crossbow?” “Eeyup! With a wooden stake and everything.” “Where'd you get that?” Scootaloo demanded. “Ah made it myself,” Apple Bloom said proudly. “You aren't going to use it though, right?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Uh…” “Do you know how much trouble we'll get in if we kill one of Luna's guards?” Sweetie asked, her voice raising nearly two octaves. “We can call it self defense,” Apple Bloom said weakly. “It's not self defense if you're hunting one,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “What are you, ponies for the ethical treatment of vamponies?” Apple Bloom asked. “Actually, she's got a point,” Scootaloo said. “And what's with the whole stake in the heart thing, anyway? That would kill anypony, not just vamponies.” Apple Bloom sighed. “Fine. The crossbow goes; but the other stuff stays. Now let's get ready.” * * * Orry, the young bat pony night guard, is many things. Mature, however, is not one of those things. So when he arrived that evening on his night assignment to cover Applejack's little sister and found her and her friends hard at work in their clubhouse with 'cutie mark crusaders vampony catchers' scrawled on the blackboard, well… he just couldn't resist. * * * Sweetie Belle glanced outside and froze. “Girls…” she breathed. “What?” “Look.” They turned to look and gasped. There was one of the bat ponies, meticulously counting the pile of rice by sliding it over grain by grain to another pile. “Arithmomania,” Sweetie Belle whispered. “Arith-who now?” “A compulsive desire to count things,” Sweetie explained. They watched, fascinated, as he counted. “What happens when he's done counting?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie Belle froze. “Uh…” This question needed to be answered quickly; the to-be-counted pile was quickly shrinking. “I dunno! What's next on our list?” “Mirrors?” Sweetie quickly grabbed one… but it slipped out of her hooves and though she tried her best to recover it, it fell against the ground and cracked right up the middle. “Oh no!” she squeaked. “Seven years bad luck!” Apple Bloom hissed. “And I think it's starting now!” Scootaloo said shrilly, pointing outside. The bat pony had heard the glass break, and now he looked up at the clubhouse intently. “Quick! Try the garlic!” Apple Bloom said. Scootaloo picked up a bulb and threw it out the window. The girls watched as it seemed to travel in slow motion, directly in a beeline for his face. As it flew in slow motion, the bat pony shifted his head at regular speed two inches to the left, dodging the projectile while barely making an effort to do so. “He's got the speed,” Apple Bloom observed uncomfortably. “And the eyesight.” “Maybe we're supposed to eat the garlic?” Sweetie suggested. “And then do what? Breathe on him?” Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo shivered. “You know, I don't even like garlic. Let's not do that.” “Well, we'd better think fast, because he's…” Sweetie's voice trailed off. The bat pony was nowhere to be seen. “Take erasive action!” Apple Bloom ordered as she ducked under the table to retrieve her supplies. “Evasive!” Sweetie instinctively corrected as she followed suit. “Stop doing that!” Scootaloo shouted. They grabbed their defenses. Sweetie Belle picked up the broken mirror, Scootaloo grabbed the candle, and Apple Bloom began spreading silverware everywhere in a protective ring. “Isn't that for wolf-ponies?” Sweetie Belle asked. “It's worth a shot,” Apple Bloom shrugged. Scootaloo had begun laying the ring of salt when there was the sound of breaking glass, and Sweetie shrieked. Sticking out of her now shattered mirror was a wingblade, but not like any they'd seen. It was curved, and looked somewhat like a bat with spread wings. All the crusaders stared. And then there came a knock on the door. It opened at his touch- “Who forgot to latch the door?” Sweetie Belle demanded in a high-pitched squeak. -and he looked inside. Sweetie Belle began a desperate mantra. “It's ok he can't come in it's ok he can't come in it's ok he can't come in…” Orry poked his head in through the door and grinned widely, showing off his sharp teeth. Slowly, he placed one hoof inside, across the mantel. “Actually, that rule only applies to dwelling places, not other buildings.” “He's even got the silky smooth voice!” Apple Bloom wailed. “He's going to drink my blood!” Sweetie cried. Screaming, the cutie mark crusaders clung together, faces buried in each others' manes and coats as they quivered and waited out the inevitable. And then Sweetie Belle felt a most uncomfortably familiar sensation on her nose. “Boop.” Her eyes shot open, and she squinted in confusion. Had he just…? Apple Bloom pulled her face out of Sweetie's coat and looked up at the odd sound, only to receive the same treatment. “Boop.” Scootaloo worked up the nerve to peek out from under Apple Bloom's mane, and got a gray hoof to her own nose for her trouble. “Boop.” Orry turned and left. He managed to make it to the doorframe before bursting out laughing. He cackled uncontrollably as he flew away and disappeared into the night. Well, he did; but then he dove under a tree and shadow-traveled back under the window to listen in on their reac- er, that is, make sure that his charge was not left unattended. Sheepishly, the cutie mark crusaders gathered their wits, dusted themselves off, and did their best to regain what little self-respect they had. “Ah, vamponies are stupid, anyway,” Scootaloo grumbled as she kicked at the shards of glass. “Agreed,” Sweetie Belle said. Orry snickered.