//------------------------------// // Day Tripper // Story: Magical Mystery Oops // by BookeCypher //------------------------------// You know what? Couches were surprisingly useful in the field. Well, assuming it was magically animated. Which theirs was. Twilight paused mid-stride as she looked up from her meter at the couch in question. "Those ones are fine, Discord - I can ask Zecora to help me with the analysis later." "Right, right," Discord said with a languid wave as his couch tottered to a stop. Since departing, it had gained not only a sunshade, but a cup holder, hooks for hanging equipment from, and a fold-out table and seat on the back for Spike, on which the small dragon was currently seated as he scrawled down readings as Twilight shouted them out. "I thought you said there was poison joke out here?" "Among other things," Twilight replied as she studied her meter. "Spike - take a note. Reading is currently at three point six six." "Three point six..." Spike trailed off as he tapped one end of the quill against his chin. "Three point six six what? We sorta need a unit of measure." "Good point," Twilight replied. "The reading seems to be a measure of string oscillation per second in proportion to amplitude." The couch stopped briefly as Discord lowered his sunglasses enough to look at Twilight. "You're in Equestria - speak Equestrian." Twilight rolled her eyes. "There is a fixed ratio between how fast the string vibrates and how much - so, if we assume an oscillation rate of once per second, that should give us a meaningful measure of displacement compared to its baseline that we can use as a quantization metric." Discord blinked. "That was Equestrian?" "I can put a number to how much energy is passing through the strings," Twilight replied. "I have a definition, just no name." "Fnord." Twilight blinked. "What?" "Its a Fnord." Discord replied. "You count them one Fnord, two Fnord, then you stop since there's only two." "No there isn't!" Twilight replied, waving the meter at him. "I'm currently reading more than three and a half!" Discord reached down and plucked a flower, fiddling with its pedals idly. "Three and a half what?" "Three and a half Fnords." Twilight replied. "We were just talking about this!" "F...N..." Behind her, Spike paused his writing. "How do you spell that?" "F-N-O-R-" Twilight cut herself off, "...no, we aren't calling it that." "Why not?" Spike said with a shrug. "You did say he was the chaos expert, didn't you?" "But it sounds...it sounds..." Twilight grasped for words before settling on, "unprofessional!" Discord snorted. "Says Miss 'I'm gonna turn myself into a draconequus and seduce my friend's roommate’." "I am not seducing you!" Twilight shot back. "And that's terrible," Discord replied as he finally pulled himself off the couch and stretched. "Relax, Twily - if Rainbow Dash can make a name like Rainbow Dash cool, you should have no trouble making people take 'fnord' seriously." He paused as he looked around. "I thought you said there would be poison joke." "There is," Twilight waved a claw in vague direction as she examined her meter. "Go look for it yourself - I could use some samples anyway." "Divide and conquer, eh?" Spike replied as he hopped off of his seat. "If you're going after poison joke, then I think I'll stop by Zecora's." Twilight blinked. "But according to Discord, we're immune." "You're immune," Spike replied. "I'm not. I like my scales exactly how they are - if you're going near that stuff, I don't want to be anywhere nearby." Twilight giggled softly before nodding. "Fine, fine - have fun. And get me some of her tea while you're there! My stash is almost out." "Yeah, yeah..." Spike gave a languid wave as he disappeared into the woods toward Zecora's. Twilight watched him disappear into the woods before turning around. "Okay Discord, lets-" She paused as she noticed that she was alone in the clearing. "...huh. I guess he went after those flowers." With her assistant gone, Twilight summoned out a spare scroll and quill and let them levitate along behind her, jotting down notes as she went further ahead. Her first visit to the Everfree had been without a doubt one of the most pivotal moments of her life - it had also been utterly terrifying. After days of studying with Zecora, exploring the Castle of the Two Sisters, and learning about the general botany, the forest had lost a great deal of its scare factor. The fact that she had enough magic to fry a small Hydra also helped. (Not that she'd ever do such a thing - Fluttershy would be heartbroken. Or furious. Probably both.) In short, Twilight paid the woods around her little mind as she trotted along through the trees, eyes glued on her meter as she read out readings and her magic'd quill jotted them down. When she reached another clearing, she brought the scroll over to take a look and frowned. "Ugh - this writing is atrocious." She turned and glared at the quill floating next to her. "I should have brought Spike with me - this is barely legible!" The quill actually looked somewhat apologetic as is bobbed mid-air, but otherwise didn't respond. Twilight turned her gaze back to the scroll with a sigh before she rolled it up and tucked it away. "Okay - I think I have enough readings for now. Time to go find the..." Twilight blinked as she looked around. Having been in the forest on several occasions, she was quite familiar with many of its landmarks. She didn't see any of them. Nor was she quite sure of exactly what direction she had come from. Not watching where you were going was generally a poor idea, especially in the Everfree. Twilight gulped nervously as she glanced around quickly. "Uh-oh." That bit about the forest not being scary? Yeah - she took that back. "Okay Twilight," She tried to assure herself. "Just stay calm and teleport yourself to Zecora's. No problem." Twilight took a deep breath to calm her nerves before channeling her focus into the familiar spell. All she got in return was an unfamiliar fizzle. Twilight stared at her claw for a moment. "It didn't work? Why didn't it work?" Did she miscast it? Was it something about chaos magic? Maybe something to do with the Everfree - if anything was going to be capable of interfering with chaos magic, the Everfree Forest was certainly it. Perhaps wild magic- A low, keening howl cut through the woods. A glance above showed gray clouds starting to gather. Getting out of here, right. With little other recourse, Twilight picked a direction in random and started back into the forest. Gnarled tree roots and low vines threatened to steal her balance at any moment, possibly leaving her in the middle of a hostile woods with a twisted ankle and unable to escape any of the creatures that lurked within. She wondered if hydras found draconequus tasty. A sound from a nearby bush made her freeze in her tracks. Twilight slowly turned toward the offending plant as her heart pounded in her ears. Her whole body tensed as whatever it was drew closer, until... Discord stumbled out of the woods into the clearing, muttering to himself as he tried to shake of a vine that had wrapped itself around one his ankles. "...yeah, first its 'oh' and 'ah', but then there's running and screaming..." His train of thought was cut off as Twilight tackle-hugged him. "Oh thank Celestia you're not a hydra!" Twilight exclaimed as wrapped herself around Discord. Discord blinked owlishly. "...should I be?" "Absolutely not," Twilight replied as she finally relaxed. "I wasn't paying attention while I was taking field readings which is really silly since I need to have geographic points to properly correlate the data but by the time I thought of that I was already lost and I tried to teleport out and my magic didn't work and then I started hearing sounds even though it was all probably just in my head and I started panicking and I thought I heard a hydra and-" "Twilight," Discord croaked out, "I can't breathe..." "Oh!" Twilight released her death-grip on Discord. "Sorry. So... how do we get out of here?" Discord rolled his eyes and snapped his claw. After a moment of nothing happening, he looked at his own claw with mild surprise. "...huh. That's new." "I told you," Twilight replied with a roll of her eyes as she started walking. "Magic isn't working - might be worth looking into once we're no longer lost." "But that's your magic," Discord replied as he followed after her. "I'm special, remember?" "Yes," Twilight replied. "You're very special - now come on. I'd like to be out of here before dark." Discord shrugged. "Just keep walking and we'll get out eventually, right?" "Fair point." Twilight replied with a nod as the pair picked a direction semi-randomly and started walking. Not randomly, mind you - she had made sure that it wasn't a direction either of them had come from. "Though, given the Everfree is one of the largest parcels of wild lands in Equestria, we might be walking for a while." "Pish posh," Discord replied as they stepped around a rather sinister looking tree. "We'll be eaten by something long before we get bored." "Or die of starvation," Twilight replied before adding. "Well, I will - you aren't technically mortal." "Cursed to walk around the forest forever more," Discord lamented dramatically. "If I'm stuck in here, I might not want to leave after a while." "Happened before?" Twilight asked idly as she ducked under a low branch. "Oh, yeah." Discord replied with a shrug. "About...hundred years before Sunbutt and Loony made me a lawn ornament. Got lost in the caverns of the unseen empire for a full two years." Twilight paled. "Two years?" Discord nodded as he walked along. "It would have been one, but I developed a taste for these lovely little sandwiches and- WOAH!" Discord stopped mid-story as he noticed he was about to walk and talk his way into a chasm. Discord back-stepped before peering down into the void below. "Well, that would have been undignified." "So much for just walking out," Twilight grumbled as she assessed their situation. The crevice was far too wide to jump, they couldn't use magic and it stretched out of sight in both directions. "So...how do we get out of here now?" Discord turned to Twilight and blinked. "I'm following you." Twilight frowned. "I'm following you." "I assumed we were walking to the bakery." Discord replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Twilight blinked owlishly before her jaw dropped a little. "Why would you assume that?" "Because nothing says 'I'm happy to be alive and not lost in a horrible forest of horribleness' like one of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes." Twilight growled something incoherent as she started stomping off in what at least felt like a downhill direction. After a moment, Discord followed behind her. "So, whats the plan, Princess?" "The plan is your plan," Twilight replied grumpily. "Keep walking until we find a way out." "Or," Discord replied. "We could fly out." That was actually enough to bring Twilight to a sudden and complete halt. "That’s...actually completely obvious. Why didn't we think of that earlier?" The grey clouds overhead gave out a low rumble in reply. "Oh yeah." "High voltage does put a damper on things," Discord quipped as he stared at the rolling clouds overhead. "Looks like a doozy of a storm too - Dashie and her crew are in for quite the evening shift." "Rainbow and her team have handled worse," Twilight replied, unable to stop a small smile from slipping onto her face. "Cleaning up your last invasion, for instance. Compared to reservoir duty, this is probably nothing." "I didn't think Cloudsdale gave reservoir duty to small towns," Discord replied. When he noticed Twilight staring at him with a quirked eyebrow, he shrugged. "I read a book, try not to faint." "They don't," Twilight replied after a moment before she started walking again. "Not usually - tends to mean that the wingpower margins are too thin." "Certainly says quite a bit on how much faith Cloudsdale has in Dashie, doesn't it... what?" Discord asked as he found Twilight staring at him again. "That’s it?" She asked. "No snappy little remarks? No puns? No thinly or not-even-thinly veiled insults about my friend?" "Well, I could come up with a few if you'd like," Discord said as she tapped at his chin. "Hrm...A pun based on her last name? Too obvious. Oh - insinuations about her dating preferences!... Nah, too easy. I guess I could just be blatantly sarcastic and-" "I'm good." Twilight cut him off, as she turned her attention back to the non-existent path in front of them. "How is it that talking about the weather can't even go normally with you?" "I make it rain chocolate," Discord pointed out. Overhead, there was a flash of lightning followed almost immediately by a rumble of thunder. "...though I imagine you'd prefer it to this, at the moment." Discord added as he glanced skyward. "Chocolate rain is a pain to wash out of my coat," Twilight replied. "So, actually, taking a high-voltage atmospheric static discharge would in fact be preferable." There was another crack and rumble overhead. "Huh." Discord took another glance overhead. "Actually..." Twilight had already started tuning out Discord's out loud musing's when he felt his claw tap on her shoulder. "What do you-" Her voice caught in her throat as she saw Discord's face. His mouth was a thin, humorless line. His brow furrowed in deadly seriousness and his eyes showed none of their usual mischief. "They're coming, Princess." Thunder and lightning boomed overhead. Twilight tried to say something, but words had for the moment failed her for the moment. So close, and without his usual lackadaisical expression, Discord actually looked... really impressive actually. And then the moment was broken as Discord started cackling madly. "Oh, that was perfect! I had the timing down and everything." "I...you...what?" Twilight stammered as she tried to get her pounding heart under control. When had that happened? "Nothing helps melodramatic delivery like..." Discord paused as he leveled a sombre gaze, "...ominous lightning." Another thundering crash from the sky punctuated the statement. Twilight gave her head a quick shake as she focused on the question at hand and not on Discord and his... and not on Discord. "How are you doing that?" "Oh, it’s easy," Discord replied. "The timing is pretty regular." He pointed skyward and started counting off. "Thousand three, thousand four, thousand five and-" Another boom overhead. "See? Nothing to it." "But that..." Twilight's brow furrowed. "that's impossible. Wild storms are unpredictable. That's part of what makes them wild." "You know how I feel about the 'I' word, Twilight," Discord replied before adding with a grin, "And you look adorable when you frown like that." "Not helping," Twilight shot back as she focused on counting out the moments between lightning strikes. Sure enough, another strike shook the sky just on cue. "Okay, that's just weird. Even Pegasus-controlled discharges aren't that regular without direct control." "So, what?" Discord asked as he fiddled with a flower idly. "You think somepony has assumed direct control?" Twilight shook her head. "Nopony is crazy enough to come out here during a storm." Well, except for them, but they weren't technically ponies so... wait. "That doesn't mean something isn't controlling the storm!" She whirled around and grabbed Discord by the shoulders, pulling him closer as she gave him a manic grin. "The storm, our lack of magic, even us getting lost - it's all connected! It has to be. There's something-" She cut off abruptly as the first fat raindrop plopped down right onto the end of her nose. "Oh no." The sky seemed to have a concept of comedic timing, which was actually a possibility, as no sooner had the words escaped her mouth that the sky opened up. The two draconequi were drenched in moments, though Discord didn't seem to care. "Oh, good," he said, "I could use a shower." Discord leaned his head back as he stretched out one paw. After a moment, he stared at his still empty paw with a frown. "No magic, right..." "Stop messing around and come on," Twilight ordered as she hunched low in a vain attempt to avoid further drenching. "we need to find some shelter before either of us catches a cold." "Your concern is touching," Discord said as he trotted up next to her. "Truly. Hrm..." He took a look around, tilting his head back and forth a few times before pointing off slightly to their right. "That way." Twilight blinked in surprise as Discord started off in the direction he'd pointed. "Based on what?" Discord shrugged without stopping. "A mare's intuition." "You're a guy!" Twilight snapped back as she followed after him. "And not a pony," Discord added. "This direction is uphill though, so there's that." Twilight paused as she stared down at the sodden ground between her forelegs, rivulets of rain water pouring consistently in one direction. How had she missed that? "You coming?" Discord's voice broke her out of her observations. "Or would you prefer to have a wet mane contest?" Twilight wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, so she didn't and instead pushed forward. Discord kept the lead as the storm overhead grew worse while underhoof the ground grew steadily steeper. Finally, after what seemed like a wet and miserable eternity but couldn't have been more than twenty minutes, they stepped out into a small clearing centered around a towering mass of stone. "How fascinating," Twilight said, rain mostly forgotten as she examined the mass of rock. "Vertical striation - something must have uplifted the underlying bedrock, probably around the same time the valley was carved out and-" "Aha!" Discord shouted from the other side of the outcropping, interrupting her geologic inquiries. "Found a cave. I love it when I'm right!" Sure enough, when Twilight came around the corner, there was a large triangular alcove where countless moons of rain and weather had worn away the vein of softer stone and leaving just its harder neighbors behind. Discord trotted inside before shaking off the water from his coat like a dog. "There," he said as he stretched back to his proper height. "Much better." "You done?" Twilight asked as she stepped in and started wringing out her own mane with a sigh. "All of my parchments are soaked too," She sat down glumly as she glared out at the still worsening storm. "so I can't even start a fire out of them..." Discord plopped down next to her with a raised eyebrow. "You know how to do that?" Twilight shrugged. "There was a earth-pony wilderness guide back in..." she paused for a moment as her expression shifted, just for an instant, before she continued. "...back at the Golden Oaks Library." "So it went up when Tirek toasted the place?" Discord asked. "That's a shame." Twilight shot him a brief glare. "Thank you, Discord, for showing such tact and empathy about my home getting destroyed." "You still have your friends, don't you?" Discord replied. When Twilight just stared at him in surprise, he just arched an eyebrow. "Really? You didn't think of that?" "I...I don't know what I would have done without my friends," Twilight replied pensively, "But that doesn't make losing everything easier." "But it wasn't everything," Discord replied, "It was just a house. One you replaced with a much nicer pad." "Perhaps, but..." Twilight paused as she considered the other draconequus. "why do you care about this?" "Because seeing you all mopey about an old library is depressing," Discord replied as he ran a claw through his mane. "and you don't pull off 'mopey' nearly as well as you pull off 'angry'." He pulled his claw back, smiling as he passed Twilight a small blue flower. "Do everyone a favor and stop worrying about the past." Twilight took one look at the offered flower before looking at Discord and asking "Where did you get that?" Discord scoffed. "What? You think Pinkie's the only one who can keep things in her mane?" "Good point," Twilight conceded, "Now would you put that back before-" She stopped mid-phrase as a breeze drifted through the cave, carrying an absolutely divine scent along with it. It reminded her of the gardens in Canterlot, just after the first spring showers as the gardeners coaxed the flowers out of their hibernation. it was cool and sweet and mellow, a signal of forthcoming possibilities and the fresh opportunities of a new season. "-Oh sweet Celestia, that smells absolutely divine. It never smelled like that before." Discord arched an eyebrow. "You like it?" Twilight nodded. "I love it. Why isn't it making my life miserable?" "Advantage of being immune to them," Discord replied as he tucked the flower behind Twilight's ear and pulled out another one from his own mane. "You get to appreciate the little bundles of chaos for what they are." "Horrible pranksters?" Twilight suggested. "Agents of change," Discord replied as he twirled the flower around. "Like ourselves - chaos in potentia and all of that. Probably why ponies have such hilarious reactions to them. Harmony and disharmony don't react well to each other." "Thats actually, hm..." Twilight trailed off as she mulled over the idea. "That would actually explain a lot." "Of course it would!" Discord said smugly before glancing toward Twilight and quickly adding. "But feel free to elaborate." Twilight rolled her eyes. "All ponies are inherently magical, and all that magic is fundamentally related. Alicorn's demonstrate that quite readily. If there is some form of inherent incompatibility between the two magic forms..." "They weren't called the 'Elements of Harmony' for nothing," Discord replied. "Though you managed to make them work." "Not that it's doing me much good right now," Twilight pointed out glumly. "Again with the moping," Discord said, exasperated. "Would you stop that? You'd think somebody kicked your dragon or something..." Twilight suddenly stiffened as her eyes went wide. "Spike! Oh no, he's somewhere out here too and I completely forgot about him! What if he didn't make it to Zecora's? What if timberwolves got to him? What if-" "What if he sent a letter to Celestia?" Discord finished for her. "Which he can do, you know. He's also a fire breathing dragon." "A baby dragon!" Twilight replied. A few strands of her main were already looking frazzled as she continued to panic. "He doesn't know how to survive in the wilderness!" "He's survived in this town for how many moons now?" Discord waved a claw dismissively. "He'll be fine. Not like you can do anything about it anyway." That seemed to take the wind out of Twilight's sails, as she slumped onto the cave floor. "How are you so calm? We're stranded in the middle of a storm, with no magic." "Panicking doesn't help," Discord replied. "All you can do is take things as they come." "Which conveniently often involves sitting back and watching the chaos unfold," Twilight added, "Right?" "Everybody wins!" Discord said happily, adding after a pause, "Well, except whoever I'm watching....usually." Twilight gave an unmare-like snort as she looked out into the rainstorm. She counted softly under her breath until there was a familiar crack of thunder. After a few minutes and some more counting, she sighed. Still the same, which she guessed might have been a good thing. Maybe. Or maybe at one point it would just stop and envelope the whole Everfree Forest in a flurry of Balefire and destruction and turn all of Equestria into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Either-or. There was one thing, however, she was sure of. "The storm is letting up." Discord quirked his eyebrow before sticking his head out of the case and glancing upward. "Well, it's still not what I'd call 'picnic weather', you know..." "Its decent enough to travel in," Twilight replied as she stepped out of their cave, taking a moment to look around and regain her bearings before starting off. "Come on - I think those lightning strikes are all hitting the same spot." "Okay, lovely," Discord said as he trotted up next to Twilight, giving her an inquiring stare. "So, one, how by Celestia's flank do you know that and two, why are you going that way?" "My magic might not work, but my senses work just fine," Twilight gestured forward. "I can smell ozone in this direction, and the air feels...greasy." "And the 'going toward it' part?" Discord asked. Twilight shrugged. "It’s a direction, isn't it? Plus we might learn what's blocking our magic." Discord stared at the other draconequus for a moment before shaking his head with a sigh. "She has to look. She can't not look." Even with his annoyance though, he couldn't keep a small smirk from creeping onto his face as he followed after her. Twilight pressed forward, moving as fast as she dared given the terrain as she tried to take advantage of the lull in the storm. She didn't know when the weather would turn for the worse again, and she had no interest in being caught out in that again. "Come on," Twilight shouted back behind her as she spotted a thinning in the trees ahead. "We're almost there." "And what the hay is there?" Discord demanded as he trudged after her. "Who put you in charge, anyway?" He glared down at his hind hoof as it sank into a pool of mud. "I don't remember voting for you." He stumbled forward as he tried to shake the worst of the mud off. "Its tyranny, I tell you! Tyra-omph!" Discord's complaint was cut off as he crashed into Twilight's back. "Hey!" He said as he glared at her. "What did you...woah." Twilight had come to a halt right at the edge of a clearing, boarded on three sides by woods and a ravine on the fourth. Sitting half-way across, near the edge of the ravine, were the remains of some sort of tower. What really caught their attention though was what was growing out of the ruins. It was a tree of some sort - that much was obvious. Silver-grey roots snaked over and through the piles of rubble, all meeting up at a slim, oddly angular trunk. Its branches were similarly shaped, long and crooked, ending in sharp points. It was strange plant, and Twilight had only seen one like it before. "Discord," she asked as there was another crack of lightning as the bolt arced straight into the top of the tree. Twilight flinched back, but no secondary arcing came. Instead, the whole tree glowed briefly before dimming again. Twilight gulped nervously as she stared at the tree. "D-Discord, does that look like the Tree of Harmony to you?" Discord tilted his head to one side, studying it for a moment. "More like a sapling of harmony. Maybe a shrub?" He nodded his head decidedly. "Yes - I dub this specimen the Shrub of Friendship." "No naming plants without permission," Twilight replied idly as she slowly paced closer to it. Another lightning bolt struck the plant, but after the first one turned out to be harmless, she had once again started to mostly ignore them. "Besides, if this is related to the Tree of Harmony, it's already got a name." "Wait, you named the Tree of Harmony?" Discord asked incredulously. "Salix Arcana Harmonia, yes," Twilight replied. "This is, presumably, the same species." "Wait, do I have a fancy ye olde name?" Discord asked. "Chimerous Dracoequs Eris," Twilight replied, "Neither been accepted by a peer-reviewed journal though, since I haven't published the papers. Now would you focus?" Twilight stepped over the first piece of rubble as she studied the tree. "We surveyed most of the Everfree from the air after the Tirek incident," She glanced upward at the open sky overhead. "I highly doubt we would have missed this." "Well, maybe the Tree of Harmony just didn't like how your castle turned out and decided it could do better," Discord suggested with a shrug. "Because, really - crystal? So last season..." He paused for a moment. "or was it the season before that?" "Maybe the lightning is helping to expedite its growth," Twilight mused out loud. "Perhaps it uses..." She trailed off as she notice a steady tapping sound. She pulled the meter back out to find the needle inside dancing around madly, the top swinging back and forth wildly as it tapped out an irregular rhythm onto the glass. "Discord, come take a look at this!" She waved him over as she watched the needle dance. "We haven't seen anything like this before - either the fields around here are incredibly powerful or something has warped the-Discord?" Behind her, she'd noticed that Discord had come to a stop a few paces from the ruins, the look on his face somewhere between physically ill and utterly terrified. "Twilight, get away from that thing." "Why?" Twilight asked, frowning in confusion. "It’s just a tree." "That's no tree," Discord replied. "That thing...is dangerous." "But..." She glanced back at the sapling. "It's just a tree." "And Sombra was just a pony," Discord replied. "Now, just get away from that thing. Please?" Okay, that was new. Something about this tree and him seriously spooked. "But...I don't feel anything. How strange..." Despite Discord's protests, Twilight found herself moving closer. It was such a strange tree. Where had it come from? How was it controlling the lightning? She couldn't just leave it be. Just a little sample. That was all. She'd grab a piece of the tree and then she would walk away. Discord's was saying something to her, but she wasn't paying attention as she paced closer to the sapling. Another pulse of energy passed through the tree as it channeled another lightning strike. Slowly, Twilight reached out toward the tree until her claw touched the silvery bark. There was a brief crackle of energy before another lightning bolt struck and the tree pulsed. There was a flash of light, and then Twilight was sent hurling back, tumbling as she clipped part of the ruins before disappearing over the edge of the ravine. Discord's eyes went wide before he jumped after her. "Twilight!"