The Mirror Dance: Fractured Ruminations

by Korenav

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Viktor Alan Vanity, are you ready? There is no shame in waiting or having second thoughts. Just remember that this cannot be undone,” Said the aging doctor. She looked at him with conflicted eyes, conflicted with whether or not this was the right thing to do. She was right to feel that way, considering the circumstances. Viktor had bribed a therapist and doctor to get to this point, that he had received all the therapy and gone through the waiting time required. Normally a pony would have to spend at least a year of consultation and consideration before they got to this stage, and that was if they could afford it. He didn’t have that kind of time though, he needed this sooner and didn’t want to go through with all the ‘hoop jumping’ that ponies normally had to go through. That was all paranoia and red tape to him, just another barrier to slow things down. There were much bigger problems to deal with, and this would simplify them. To do nothing would guarantee that everything fell apart.

“Doctor, I’m perfectly fine with my decision. I don’t have any doubts. Please continue,” Viktor said with confidence, hoping to put the doctor at ease. He knew that he could always get get a hold of some other, less questioning, doctor, but he’d rather get this taken care of today so he could have the weekend to himself. This was, after all, going to change him for the rest of his life, and he might as well spend the weekend getting situated before the world saw him. It would be a good opportunity to deal with any nervous feelings too, just like he was having right now.

The mare watched Viktor, noting his fidgeting hooves. He hoped she didn’t put up any more barriers of doubt or try to question him anymore. Viktor responded with a sigh of relief when she nodded and brought over a tray of two glasses, each one filled with a murky white brown color liquid.

“Alright, then lets begin. Please drink the left one first, wait two minutes, and then drink the second one. This will prime your body to be receptive to the alteration magic. Once you drink the second, it should put you under for some time. After you wake, we can do a physical, collect signatures, and release you.” She levitated a clipboard in front of him with a few pages on it. “Also, please check and verify that this is the correct body description and no mistakes were made.”

Viktor bit his lip, feeling his heart rate pick up as he looked at the pages before him. He remembered the hours he spent considering each little detail, small changes here, bigger ones there, not just in shape but color and definition. The doctor told him that not everything would be perfect, that his natural genes would have their own influence on his body, but that didn’t bother him too much. It meant that there would always be some kind of family resemblance in him no matter how much of himself he changed, and family was of utmost importance to him. That was why he was here after all, for his family, to save it by becoming a mare.

He had the chance to control how she would look and he fully intended to make the most of it for what he needed to do. Nothing too extreme, but none too mundane either. Too short and soft was too submissive. A bit more height, or at least a body appearing lithe enough to look tall, would give off an impression of being in control of oneself and having some authority, while still fitting within respectable mare standards. To be a mare with elegance and a potential for glamour, so that nobility didn’t just come off as a title, but radiated through her appearance. A mare that other nobles could look at and respect and take seriously. A mare he would soon be…

I have got to do this. I know it will work out, it’s brilliant enough to work. There is no other option as it stands. No noble pony is available or willing as it is now but this will give me so many more options. All the patriarchal noble family mares are taken, and the matriarchal ones would mean giving up his family's name. I’ll save the family, house, and Arty’s future with this.

Viktor took the first glass and levitated it before himself, staring a moment before quickly upending it into his mouth and down his throat, expecting an absolutely awful taste. He was mildly surprised when it tasted more like watered down chocolate but the flavor did nothing for the chill that went down his spine as it settled in his stomach. It made him feel queasy if anything, like he drank milk that was recently expired.

The silence after was unsettling, as if it was anticipating something more dramatic, or trying to draw him out of his own silence. It made Viktor wish Elise was here. Hearing the housemaid dancing to music across the study gave him something to be distracted by at home… especially when he interrupted her to ask for some scotch on the rocks. That expression on her face never got old.

“One minute.” The doctor said calmly.

Anxiety began to flood through him again as his heart raced.

This shouldn’t have to be so nerve wracking! Ugh, I hate doctors. Always so dramatic. Can’t wait to get home and relax...Gotta avoid Elise though. She will probably be pretty mad at me. And Arty…

He smiled as he thought about his nephew. There was nothing that made him more happy than to see that little colt smile. The most innocent and purest bundle of joy he had ever had the honor of being related to. His nephew was easily the most important thing to him in life. He could only guess how he would react to all this. Being six years of age, he didn’t think he would have to worry about him much in that regard. Still, he was nervous about Arty and how this affected him. It would be a work in progress.

Arty, I’ll have to sit you down for a talk. Hopefully everything will be just as it was before, but better.

“Fifteen seconds.”

Time sure flew when reflecting under stress. Viktor looked at the second glass, feeling a nervous dread build up in him. These last fifteen seconds would be the last he spent being like this, as Viktor. Afterward he would be a very different looking pony that everyone would see him as from now on, all accomplished with a visit to the doctor. It was almost funny, did he always have to feel so emotionally distraught every time he visited the doctor? As if the ominous countdown wasn’t stressful enough. He struggled to get his mind back onto more pleasant things, but he started to feel a bit drowsy, like something was sapping his strength slowly and making him numb. Blinking his eyes, they felt heavy and sluggish.

“Alright. Drink up dear.”

Viktor felt himself stop breathing as his heart jumped ahead a moment. His moment was now. He tried to focus his magic, but his horn sputtered and could barely even touch the glass.

“Use your hooves dear.”

Oh right...I’m a magic sponge right now.

He reached forward with his hooves, taking the glass in between them. He felt clumsy and heavy as the world began to rock back and forth. It was not very pleasant, almost sickening.

This feels like being drunk….at 4 am...without the fun bits.

He remembered that he had a glass in his hooves that needed to be drank. Refocusing his mind, he put far more mental power into moving his limbs than ever was necessary. Staring into the glass of milky brown liquid that would lead to his life changing forever, he took one last moment and took a deep breath.

Well….bottoms up?...Ugh...Thats a terrible last thing to think. Oh bother. I’ll think of one in a second.

He upturned the glass and drained it in seconds, almost slamming the glass down on the tray next to him as his lazy limbs were ready to give up. The liquid sensation that flowed down his stomach was chilling, like it wasn’t just going to his stomach, but flowing throughout his body, saturating every corner of his body. Within moments he could feel himself entering a deep heavy sleep as his mind started to slip away.

...I’ll think of one...when I wake…

And in moments, Viktor was out.


Viktor softly came to, his consciousness fading back into reality. At least he thought it was reality. His sleep must have been dreamless because it felt like he was awake just moments earlier with the doctor. Despite the fact he was feeling rather rested now, he felt like his whole body had a soft dull ache to it, like somepony had massaged him a bit too hard the other night for far too long. He wanted to stretch, to move and work out those sores, but he was a little afraid of what he would find.

The urge to yawn crept up on Viktor and he obliged it, opening his mouth with a big sigh and reflexively reached up and out with his hooves. Usually this was a very pleasant sensation, but it came with something else this time. Something very different.

Every part of his body that moved felt intensely and sensationally wrong. As one limb moved, the rest of his body shifted ever so slightly, feeling every inch of new alien feelings he wasn’t accommodated to. His proportions were wrong, his fur felt different, and everything moved differently. Almost every strand of fur on his body suddenly started to light up with sensations, cascading down his body. His eyes shot open as he bit his not so familiar lip. The first thing his eyes noticed was his purple and pink mane in his eyes, hiding the world from sight. Blinking his eyes awake, he kept still, not wanting to move any more than he had to. The sensations in his body were already enough to deal with and his chest was heaving from the surge of panic that came over him.

Okay! Breathe! Calm down! Just...calm down...I’ll be alright. This is normal...I need to take this slow...Just take inventory and carefully observe...

Blinking a few times, he looked at the soft wave of pink and purple mane with light curls and let his eyes start to do their work. Through his mane, he could see a few cabinets and a biohazard waste disposal next to some medical equipment he couldn’t care to remember the name of. It took very little assessing from there that he was in the recovery room, probably laying on a bed considering he felt comfortable and warm on his side. His eyes, still looking about, noticed that even with mane in his face, he felt like he had a larger field of view, like something was missing. Looking down, he found what exactly it was that changed, his snout. It was noticeably smaller than before and seeing the difference, rather than just feeling it....calmed him, even if just a little. Seeing the change gave him some of the affirmation his sensations were asking for.

I must have a tiny mouth now.

He licked his teeth with his tongue, feeling little waves of tickles and unfamiliar sensations in his mouth as he twisted his lips. It felt a lot smaller than he remembered. Even his teeth were rather odd feeling. Considering this was just his mouth that was feeling this way, it was probably going to be a long day of this all over.

I’m going to be finding a lot more things than just this in a moment….I should get this part over with and just look myself over already.

Taking a deep breath, knowing this would be a moment for the rest of his life. As certain as he was of this decision, the thought of looking down and seeing a different pony was still a lot scarier now that it was right here. Taking a few more deep breaths, he prepared himself. All he had to do was look. Shifting his legs slightly, he hesitated and delayed, the sensations resulting only making matters worse. Even his legs felt thin and strange.

Alright...It’s just your body. You can deal with this. You are Viktor Alan Vanity...Well, until the name paperwork clears.

He shifted his hoof, pushing himself up on the bed to sit up. What followed was a wave in indescribable sensation shock. What felt like thousands of tiny little ripples of soft pinpricks were washing down his body with every slight movement. Every inch of his body that had changed was alive with sensations and life. It scared him, but at the same time, he never had felt so alive! It was such a rush to feel everything at once with a body so new and feeling every sensation for the first time. It was so intense that he couldn’t help but wince and close his eyes tight, his body tingling and building up with this feeling faster than he thought possible. The sensations were becoming less confusing as he gradually was able to place where they were coming from, but the intensity didn’t stop, especially since it was practically everywhere! Waves of tingling pinpricks kept washing over him as he curled up his body tightly to himself, biting his lip and squirming. It was intense. It was overwhelming. It was scary. But most of all, it was….wonderful. Every bit of himself tickled with the slightest movement, alive with life that he could barely contain.Cringing tight, it built up inside him until he couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out in laughter, the floodgates letting everything out.

The laughter he heard was….beautiful. It sounded nothing like the pony he knew himself as. Such a beautiful trill to this laugh, it couldn’t be his, could it? The way it softly rang out in a gentle tumble of giggles was angelic, soothing to the heart even, and it wouldn’t stop. The tickle of her body only encouraged her to laugh more, which made her squirm with more sensations bursting through her. It was simply...divine.

The sensational pony fell onto her back, pulling her legs to her body in a tight curl, trying, and failing, to hold in her giggles. She could never have anticipated this, despite being told the after affects of such a transformation, she just couldn’t believe the absolute wondrous intensity that it came in. They were right to say that the best words to describe it would be ‘feeling like you were reborn’. Every corner of her body, from her snout tip and cheeks, down her ears and neck, through her shoulders, her barrel to her flank, and down to her tippy hooves, she felt a surge of energy followed with many pinpricks of tickling sensations. She could feel every part of her body all at once, flowing with constant caresses. It felt like ages had gone by before they began to diminish enough to calm her downright laughter into muffled internal giggles. Taking sweet shallow breaths, she began to finally calm herself down enough to take control of herself.

Oh sweet Princesses...This is...amazing. I feel so...different….and alive...I can’t even feel anything I recognise anymore...I really am a whole new being...

Taking softer breaths, she took inventory of her sensations. She could feel her new shape, the curve of each corner and changes to her body now. A blush warmed her face as she picked up sensations down below her belly that she was not familiar with at all. Bracing herself, she opened her eyes and curled her neck down to gaze upon her body...only to be interrupted by the sound of the door latching opening. A scramble of hooves followed as she tried to cover herself from that moment of exposure, but the after affects from earlier were still there in force, and she quickly devolved into a squirming fit teeming with giggles and squeals.

The doctor stopped partway in the room, quickly smiling at the giggling mare, knowing full well what was going on. “I see you’re awake Miss Vanity. I’m sorry to have interrupted. I’ll come back later.” She started to back out, but ‘Miss Vanity’ put her hoof up amongst her giggle fit to try to stay her presence.

“W-waaheeet. Eeeehehehee!” She nearly squealed aloud, forming words was difficult, both because of the new ticklish sensations and because she had a very differently shaped muzzle. The scene was comical and the doctor could only smirk to herself and roll her eyes.

“You just need to acclimate some more. I would hate to ruin this moment for you. It’s a once in a lifetime experience, and one best done in private. So I’ll leave you be for the moment.” Said the doctor, backing out of the room as more squabbling squeals of protest followed.

Oh bother, I sound like a howling cat. I can hardly control myself. I don’t know if I hate this or like it.

Alone again, Viktor bit her lip to calm herself, though it hurt a lot more than she remembered. This would take her some time to adjust to, but it would eventually calm down in a few hours. Or was it days? She couldn’t remember so well since she wasn’t very attentive when it came to the specifics that the doctor was telling her earlier.

Getting herself together, Viktor carefully sat up on the hospital bed and took stock of herself very carefully. She would need to do this at a comfortable pace if she hoped to get anything done. Slowly, she brought a hoof out in front of her, the sensations made her scrunch her face, but she kept herself together this time. Her hoof looked so...delicate, if not softer looking. Its shape was much slimmer and thinner than before, making her wonder if it would snap if she pressed too hard on it.

Eyes trailing further down, she noticed her fur had lightened up a few shades, being a more gentle soft gray, rather than a darker demanding one. Looking further only affirmed how her legs were now thinner and, perhaps, even longer looking, especially looking at her barrel and chest. She could already see a dramatic change there, her size now being much slimmer, thin, and lithe, but she could only see so much.

Looking up, she searched for the mirror that she knew was somewhere nearby from earlier. Viktor silently thanked the doctors thoughtfulness when she spotted it over her shoulder, obviously placed for the very reason she was about to use it for. Being careful, she slowly rolled over and took a look at herself.

Even though she was bracing for it, she was shocked that there was a mare staring right back at her. A mare who was stunningly similar to the stallion that she was when she entered this place. Her thin lithe body was sprawled on the bed, looking gracefully and healthily shaped. Her mane and tail were a lighter royal purple than they were before, but a new color was there now. A fair portion of her flowing mane had large streaks of pink, the very same color of her mother’s mane. What surprised her the most though was her eyes. Before, she had her mother’s eyes, a soft hazel brown that fit her gentle nature, but now she was looking into eyes much like her fathers, those icy bright blue eyes that were powerful, yet beautiful. She had turned out far better looking than she could ever have hoped, and it both pleased and scared her.

She was a bit upset to lose her mother’s eyes, but she had her mane partially now, long and flowing, as well as her face. It made her smirk a little, which only showed more of her mother’s lovely smile and caused her cheeks to flush a little bit more red. Then again, everything here was making her flush red. The realization was gradually setting in on her the more she stared at the mare mimicking her movements in the mirror.

This….is me? That mare?

Viktor shuffled her body, feeling a nervous, excited, and anxious feeling building up in her. She had to look and see. If only for a moment. Just to see and make sure. With a nervous hesitation, she carefully lifted up a leg to peer at her new gender bits. She was greeted by the sight of parts that she had seen several times before from a much more distant perspective, but when she could see it and, thanks to her recent sensitivity, feel the difference in her body, it made it that much more surreal. The presence of her newfound female sex hammered the realization home that much harder. There was nothing left of her old gender, having been taken over and replaced by the soft plush shape of fur that was between her legs now.

I…I’m a mare.

She admitted this to herself, but still couldn’t feel it completely descend onto her mind. It was strange and sensational, but she felt like she might just wake up and be fine the next day, like it were all some very lucid dream. The vacancy her body felt now was already very alien and noticeable to her now. Would it go away with time or would she feel this ‘abnormality’ forever? Was this what being female felt like?

A knock on the door pulled her out of her running thoughts. It was probably for the best, as she was getting further lost in her mind, questioning her new unfamiliar identity, and also she was staring at her crotch a bit too long. Quickly, she pulled the bed covers up and rolled onto her back.

“Come in!” She called out, immediately startled by her voice. The way it flowed out of her throat was soothing and soft relative to her former gruff and somewhat deeper voice.

The doctor from earlier walked through the door wearing a professional but ‘knowing’ smile. “How are you feeling, Miss…” She looked down to a clipboard she carried in with her. “...Victoria Elana Vanity.”

The name honestly surprised her. She knew it was coming, especially since she had greatly considered what her family would have wanted for her name to be, but hearing herself being addressed as such was another startling change in addition to everything else.

“I’m...fine.” Victoria said aloud, not entirely convincing sounding as she pulled up her covers a bit more.

The doctor looked to her for a moment, considering her words before going back to her clipboard. “Congratulations love. You are looking gorgeous right now. Uncover yourself for me please? I just need to do a checkup.”

This didn’t sit well with Victoria. She had only experienced just a few moments with herself in a body she was uncomfortable and unfamiliar with, and she already had to share it with another pony? She had some confidence with herself before because she knew who she was there, but this body, her voice, her unfamiliarity with how to even handle herself, she just didn’t like feeling so vulnerable.

“I don’t need a checkup...Everything is fine with me.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow at her. “...Dear, we need to check and make sure everything is good and healthy before we can release you-”

“I feel quite alright. I would like to get going soon.”

“Miss Vanity. This is for your own health-”

“My health is fine. Need I offer some bits to be free?”

Victoria was getting more irritated with the doctor, and the doctor felt the same in return. “Miss Vanity, this isn’t for my benefit. A lot of very complex changes have happened to you and I need to make sure that none of them send you to the hospital.”

Victoria sighed. “Didn’t you get to look enough while I was out?”

“You were asleep then. I need to check you and ask how everything feels.”

“...Just to look, right?”

“.....There will be some minor probing.”

Oh heavens no!

“I wish to go home! 100 bits?”

“Miss Vanity...I need to-”



“1000! That’s all I’ll give.”

The doctor narrowed her eyes at Victoria, rolling them before sighing. “Miss Vanity! This is not negotiable. This is for your health, and is part of being a mare. You are legally required to do this, or you will not be allowed to leave.”

Victoria held her tongue at that, thinking a few moments before frowning and groaning. She tugged the sheets aside, feeling her face go red as the doctor was free to observe.

“Alright. You look wonderful and healthy in the hindquarters.” She scribbled a few notes on her clipboard before gesturing at her legs with a hoof. “Could you spread your legs for me dear?”

“Mmmnoo…” Victoria mumbled quietly, almost too low for the doctor to hear.

“Come now dear. I’m here to help you. It will be quick.”

Victoria let out a whine, hating this so very much. She was a Canterlot Noble and she shouldn’t have to go through this...agonizingly humbling embarrassment. Twisting her lips into a scrunched up face, she reluctantly parted her legs and looked away.

The doctor smiled and took a few more notes. “Looking good. Alright. Now this part is just going to last a few moments, but I need you to hold still for me.” She pulled pulled out a metal contraption from a jar of sterilized fluid. Victoria immediately became alarmed.

“What is that?” She pushed herself back a little into the bed.

“A speculum”

“That looks like a gardening shovel….”

“Don’t worry, this will be brief-”

“2000 bits! Bwwaahaahaah! That’s COLD!”


Victoria wore a dazed and confounded expression as the carriage gently rocked along the road toward home. Each bump shifted her unfamiliar body and tingled with the tickling new sensations that were still tingling through her, reminding her of her body repeatedly. She tried to not focus too much on what had transpired in the last hour of her visit at the doctors office. The significant amount of paperwork, the magic aptitude tests, hygiene education, and of course….the physical and its icey cold-

Stop thinking about it….It was only one time...and another checkup next week...and then every month for the rest of the year….

Victoria winced and shook her head, trying to pull herself together. This was not the time to spend thinking about this. Her family estate was getting nearer, she could tell by from the buildings becoming more sparse, and the greenery filling in the spaces between. She moved to carriage window and stuck her head out to look upon the familiar private drive coming up, Rumination Drive.

The view ahead was a welcoming sight. Hedgerows lined the road, leading up to the opening ahead to a large gate. What was beyond it was no simple home, but the large estate that represented her household.

The Vanity Estate Household… Home sweet home…

The grand mansion that housed her family for generations was iconic in Canterlot, being one of the first mansions ever built that still stood. Its weathered and worn appearance that refused to yield completely to age reflected the resolve of her family had. Both its west and east wings were holding up better than the main body of the mansion, being newer additions to the estate. Though like the family, the whole estate had fallen on hard times as well. The vegetation was getting overgrown and unkept, the paint fading with murk, and the lack of lights and life made it feel hollow. Victoria sighed, upset with the spread of deterioration through her home that reminded her of how dire her family situation was.

One day… You will be back to your former glory… And I’ll make House Vanity great once again. I promise.

The carriage came to a halt outside the gate and Victoria began to help herself out when the carriage door opened for her, the driver offering a hoof.

“Madame?” He said when Victoria paused, looking at his hoof that was offering such a kind gesture, a gesture that she had not ever been given before, not to mention the title he gave her.

“...Thank you.” She said, taking his hoof after turning over many thoughts in her head. Victoria wobbled on her hooves as she was led down the steps, her body still feeling very out of proportion to her. She knew to expect things to be different, but some came as a surprise-

“Ahem…” He held his hoof out still after helping her down, looking a bit impatient.

“Oh...Right…” She grumbled and fished about for her coin purse in her saddlebag that did not fit her at all anymore.

Reduced to using mere taxi drivers to travel around. How plebeian.

Victoria paid the taxi driver, nearly throwing the money into his hooves before turning from him sharply to put some distance between them, stumbling on her wobbly hooves.. She fetched her key to let herself in through the gate while reminiscing about how much simpler it was when they had a driver of their own. Things had certainly changed since then…

Since the events of Nightmare moons return, everything had gone so horribly wrong. The only pony left to deal with the household was the one who was the family runt. Victoria always was overshadowed by her brother, and she could still feel the effects of that. At the very least she still had Arty...

She had to snap out of her reflection when she reached the door of the house she had been born and raised in, the paint starting to show some protest from age. She normally would knock before letting herself in, announcing herself to her maid, Elise Pirouette, but in this case she rather avoid that, especially considering she hadn’t precisely told her yet, at least not directly. She left a letter on the table before leaving this morning to avoid too much issue.

Victoria carefully unlocked and opened the door, peeking her head inside to scan the large interior entrance. The marble floor and columns were immaculate as expected, having been well kept by Elise. She was glad to have somepony like her around still after how few of them were left to care for. But for the moment she rather avoid her, knowing that she...heavily disagreed with her when she asked for her input on it. She kept scanning the doorways she passed by as she slipped inside, careful to step as lightly as she could on the marble floor, but no matter what she did there was a slight clatter to her hoofsteps. All she needed to do was get to the stairs which were not very far, being just next to the study. Carefully clitter clattering her way there, she was just a mere few feet from them when she spotted disaster. A missing book...

A small stack of three books lay on the floor just a few feet from the doorway of the study. They weren’t just any books either, they were ‘History of the Frozen North’ parts 1, 3, and 4, completely out of order, not to mention in the middle of the floor. She knew exactly where in that study they were missing from, and could easily imagine that now vacant space that took its place. The very thought of things missing or being disorganized made her want to have a nervous fit. By now, nothing could stop her, her OCD going into full gear as she trotted over to the books and picked them up with her magic. They had to be put back, the very thought of it built up in her a desire that she could not wait to fulfill. Of course by the time she was in the study, she knew very well that the books were not taken out by mistake. They had to have been placed there by somepony, and there was only one pony she knew who would do that, a pony who was probably very upset with her right now.

Elise...She probably wants to talk to me. I’ll just do this real quick and get to my room. I have to get this done, and she can’t simply wait for me all day to just walk in here. She had no idea when I would be ba-

“Ahem…” Said a familiar sounding pony from behind.

Oh...Clever girl.