Chapter 7: Trees That Bark?
The next morning, we were cleaning up, preparing for when others came. At one point, Crystal came running through the door.
“Issue! Issue! MAAAAJOR PROBLEM!!!”
She slammed the door behind her, panting for breath. By this time the lot of us had heart the warning and came downstairs.
“What seems to be the problem, Crystal?” i askrd
“I'll give you three hints: What's big, wooden and howls at the moon?”
As if on cue, a howl pierced the air. We could distinctly hear the creak of wood.
“Timberwolves.” i said under my breath. I quickly took command. “Alright everypony, this is a huge issue! Look around, find anything that could be used as a weapon!”
Everypony went off to do just that. Suddenly, I heard a voice.
“Grandso- er, Granddaughter. Heed me!”
“Grandpa?” i queried.
“I don't have much time. There's a cache of weapons in the basement, behind the bookshelf and some armour behind the workbench there. I hoped that you would never have to use them, but drastic times and all.... So give those snaggle-toothed varmints what for!”
With that the contact dissipated. I paused for a moment. “Thanks grandpa. I won't let you down.” Then I turned and called, “Thunder Roller! Something just fell into my lap, here! I'll need your help.”
“I don't think we have laps.”
“You know what i mean.”
Thunder came down and we went to the basement. In the cache grandpa mentioned were 8 high caliber pistols and 8 sub-machine guns. Oh, and lots of ammo. Enough for all of us. HUNDREDS of rounds. Each and every gun was lovingly crafted, each with a name. The inventory went as follows.
-2 50 cal pistols, “twins”, aptly named Hellraisers. Twelve round clips, enchanted to cause incendiary damage to their target.
-2 45 cal pistols were named Cold Steel and Killing Frost. 14 rounds, ice enchanted.
-3 40 cal pistols, “Tri-Disaster.” Meant to be used together. Could be straightened (to look much like pump action shotguns) and linked together in a circle to form a revolving wearable item. 10 round clips.
-1 60 cal gauss gun, “Devastator”. Fuelled with blood, preferably that of one's opponents. If no ammo is found, will draw it from host. NOT to be trifled with.
-2 30 cal SMGs . “Wolfsbane”. Appropriately Silver enchanted. 30 rounds each
-2 20 cal SMGs. No names, but i could TELL that they were twins.
-4 40 cal SMGs. auto fire. could be linked much like Tri-Disaster. 20 rounds each. I named them Quadratix.
In the armour cache there was a set of six suits of pony armour. Odd. It was like grandpa had known..... had expected... Nah, it couldn't be... could it?
Anyway, there were two Pegasus sets, two Earth Pony sets and two for Unicorns. All of them were capable of holding several clips of ammunition, but they all differed from each other beyond that. Being fit for close combat, the armour for Earth Ponies was heavy, built for durability and had several built in weapons. Kind of like being a living Swiss army knife. Still, despite being “heavy” armour it was deceptively light and allowed a lot of freedom of movement. Holds two guns.
Being good for hit and run tactics, the Pegasus sets came complete with wing-blades. One had holsters for two guns, one for three. Then there were the Unicorn suits, which were lighter and included holsters for holding up to 4 guns.
I looked at one of the Earth Pony ones. On one side was an inscription. “For the honour of Celestia.”
“Is there something my grandparents haven't told me?” i wondered.
Either way, i put my hoof to my mouth, “Phhht! Oh. So that's why Ponies can't whistle.” i instead shouted “HEY, EVERYPONY! I STRUCK GOLD!”
A few moments later, my herd was downstairs.
“Check these out!” i said as they came in.
“Whoa!” said Kendo, examining the guns. “These are master-craft level!”
Thunder examined one of the Pegasus suits. It was as blue as the night sky, with lightning like highlights. “WOW! These are gonna be difficult to get on. What's this?” he saw the inscription. “By the power of Luna?”
Suddenly the suit pretty much came to life, forcing its way onto him. As the change completed, he shouted “I have the Power!!!”
After that, he gave himself the once over. “Whoa! Awesome! So THAT's how you get these on!”
Eager to try ours on, we each said the code phrases embossed in our respective suits, effectively donning them. As I put mine on, I felt a surge of power. I felt... dangerous!
“Okay, Ponies, Here's how this will go. Kendo Rein, do we still have those swords you got for us? I think we'll need them. Take the Hellraisers, too.”
He did so and the guns shone, as if... imprinting on him. “On it GL!” he exclaimed, holstering the guns and running up the stairs.
“Thunder Roller, take Tri-Disaster.” He did so, experiencing the same effect.
“Crystal Charmer, take Quadratix. Caramel Cream, take the Wolfsbane twins. Whisper Wishes, i'm entrusting you with Cold Steel and Killing Frost. Also take Devastator, but BE. CAREFUL. With it. It runs on blood.”
I took the two nameless guns. I didn't know their names, but I could tell that we were going to have fun.
We all took several clips of ammunition and attached them to our armour. I was about to load up the nameless ones. “Okay, everypony.” I said, finishing the loading with an audible “ch-ch'k” sound. “In the words of a certain superhero duck, *ahem* Let's. Get. Dangerous.” I said, making my voice go really low.
“Wow. With a voice like that, you make him sound like a pussy!”
Anyway, we first scoped out the playing field. There were twelve timber wolves, two for each of us. I said l, “On my mark.” When the wolves were more or less in a good position I counted. One, two..
“Three!!!”
We all dashed out the door, into the fray. I saw Whisper stab one wolf with Devastator, drawing in some of its blood. The weapon started glowing, showing it's readiness to be fired. I lost track as I neared my targets. Drawing Luciendar, I racked my brain for a war cry. “Princeeeeeeess Celestiaaaaa!!!” i shouted. Rushing toward the ligneous lupines.
Drawing one of the nameless ones with my tail and the other with my off hand, i fired five rounds into each wolf, to... little effect. Slashing with Luciendar i caught the ear of one wolf, drawing amber coloured fluid. A sound effect came up. “First blood!” then disappeared.
The other wooden canid howled in pain, trying to swipe at me, to no avail. I dodged that attack by sliding under it, pummelling it's underbelly with my hooves as i went past, causing it to cry out in understandable agony. However the first brought the severed ear to it's former place and, to my surprise, it reattached itself.
I tried shooting it again. Nothing happened.... until one of the bullets from the second gun struck the first's. The bullets exploded in a fiery display, practically melting part of the wolf. I tried the same with the other wolf, but in reverse. This time the two exploded in an icy effect, which traced its way across the wolf, freezing it entirely. A swipe from Luciendar cleaved the frozen beast in two. “Try healing THAT!” i exclaimed.
Landing nearby, i brought up the two guns. One now glowed golden yellow, the other icy blue. I said to them, “I think i'll call you... Fusion and Chiller.”
The names i had given the guns appeared on their sides, and i felt the two attuning to me. It felt really odd.
A voice inside my head said, “And so the deed is done.”
“Huh? Who's there?”
“Us, master. You have named us, and so have tamed us.”
“Any particular perks to that?”
“Well, you can summon us at will, you can have us act independently of you, while, say, you go attack the enemy.
You can also have us assume other forms. For example our vehicular form, which is a pony friendly motorcycle.
Yes, much like a regular one, but much cooler.”
“Oh. Sweet!”
“That isn't even the good stuff. However, master, i suggest that you dwell on that later, AFTER the battle?”
I looked to my right. The remaining wooden wolf was taking large bites out of a tree. It was using the wood to heal itself!
“I don't think so!” i shouted at it as i fired four rounds off. The bullets hit their mark, burning and subsequently... FREEZING the inflamed wolf.... some... how.....
New technique: Frozen Flame
Either way, the whole structure collapsed, leaving little but cold, burnt pieces of wood. One especially caught my eye. A perfectly cylindrical log of it. Timberwolf heartwood. My mind supplied. Many uses, very durable, nigh on fireproof, very valuable, extremely dangerous to acquire.
I noticed another such log in the remains of the other Timberwolf.
“Chiller. Fusion.”
“Yes Master?” the two queried in chorus.
“Can you relay a message to my friends to save those logs? I have an idea.”
“Your will be done.” they answered, zooming off to do so.
Returning inside i removed my armour and placed it back where i got it. I thanked Princess Celestia for this providence.
“Celestia be praised.”
So saying, a paned opened up nearby. it had a notebook in it. On the book was the title.
“Journal of Flare Rider and Peach Fields.”
What?
I flipped to the first page and read aloud.
“Log 1. Ponified.
I must say that on the list of things that we might have expected to happen at any point in our lives, turning into candy coloured horses wasn't one of them. Surprisingly, though, i seem to be able to use the hairs of my tail like extra hands and Linen seems to be able to use some kind of magic to manipulate things, so no trouble there.
Anyway, when i was fully changed, my first reflex was to smith something. So i made this sword, putting a bit of myself into it, i guess.”
--ten minutes of reading later--
“Log 15. Peach just remembered a spell that will allow us to use our magic to appear human. That's good, because people were wondering why they hadn't seen us for a while. Dodged a butllet there, thank Celestia.”
So that explains how nobody ever noticed!
“Log 16. Memories fully restored. That Son of a jenny, Discord will PAY for what he did.”
--half an hour of reading later--
“Final log. This will be our last entry. Our lives are becoming short and the magic we use to appear human was putting a lot of strain on our bodies, shortening our lifespan. In this we give our best wishes to our son, Zenith. This house will be his inheritance, and here's hoping that he'll leave a legacy that will do us proud. If you're reading this, send Discord to Tartarus, child.”
“Grandma... Grandpa... i swear i will do you proud.” i said, tears streaming down my face. And sobs wracking my body.
I felt a hoof on my... shoulder? Is that the right word? Irrelevant. Either way, i tured to see Crystal Charmer, with a sad smile on her face, trying to comfort me. She had tears of her own, as did everypony else.
Then i noticed that Whisper Wishes wasn't among the assembled.
We went back upstairs, to see Whisper tapping furiously at the computer's keyboard, mumbling something, several strands of her mane out of place.
“Uh... Whisper?” i ventured.
“Shhh!!!” she said. “Do you want to break my concentration!?!?”
“On what?”
she sighed and said “Let's put it this way, while we were fighting i narrowly avoided stepping in a patch of Poison Joke!”
“WHAT?!?!?!” we all exclaimed.
“SHHH!!!” Whisper shush-outed at us. “Your grandparents being ponies as well proves that that this didn't just start happening this year. It's been going on for years! And nopony noticed!! so, let's see, add this, plus.. factor in... aaaand.. there!” she finished, looking at the results. “Oh my.” she finished.
Re-estimated time to a-pony-ocalypse, 2 years
Oh my, indeed!