HEART OF STONE
Chapter Eighty Four: House Call
Written by TheCrimsonDM
“Okay, so what if we totally make Lightning Dust be Rainbow Dash’s rival?” Pinkie asked excitedly, and without trouble despite having a pencil in her mouth. The pencil tip in Pinkie’s mouth was being utterly destroyed by her chewing on it. Pinkie Pie’s eyes widened and she spat out the pencil before saying, “What if Gilda is Rainbow Dash’s first mate?”
Trixie took one look at the notepad held gently aloft in her magical aura, another look at the pen next to it, and finally she stared at the mess of notes and notebooks lying on the table. It occurred to her that maybe they had gone a little overboard with this brainstorming session. Still, Trixie was enjoying this, so she decided not to fret over the mess.
“I don’t know, from what I’ve heard Gilda was a bi-“ Trixie started.
“Lulu,” Maud interrupted. “Applejack is back.”
The front door opened and from her spot at the kitchen table with Pinkie Pie, Trixie watched as Applejack entered the house. Applejack took one look at Trixie and happily said, “Ah checked up on mah little sister, she was doin’ fine. On mah way back Ah picked up a straggler though.”
In walked Timequill with his brown porcupine mane looking as crazy as ever. His eyes had bags around them, and he moved a little slower than usual. The green and red scarf around Timequill’s neck stood out against his white fur. It was cold outside, but Hearths Warming was still a ways off. It was a little strange to be wearing such festive colors so early in the season.
Trixie took a second look at the mess on the table and let out a sigh. Papers littered the table covered in random notes and a few drawings that Pinkie had made. Hastily she stood up from the table to greet the doctor.
“Hello Doctor, is there anything I can do for you?” Trixie greeted.
He shook his head and explained, “No, I’m just here to check up on you.” He looked back outside at the orange afternoon sky. “I would’ve come earlier but I had some work to do with your mother.”
My mom? How could I have forgotten about her?
“How is she,” Trixie asked. Her heart was beginning to sink now that she realized how little she had even thought about her mom recently. I’ve been gone so long, she must have been worried to death. And it didn’t even occur to me…
“She’s doing okay,” Timequill answered. “I have to admit that her strength surprised even me.”
With a sigh of relief Trixie allowed herself to relax a little. She returned to the table while saying, “I’m glad to hear it.” Deep inside her guilty heart hated her for having not worried about this sooner. It should have been the first thing I checked up on after finding Maud, but here I am sitting at a table and having fun. I suppose that they might not have let me out to actually go and see her yet anyway. It was only a few hours ago that I was a mess after all.
Timequill and Applejack entered the kitchen. Applejack approached the table and whistled. “Well, it sure looks like you’ve been doin’ work. Y’all havin’ fun?”
Trixie did her best to ignore her guilty heart, and said, “We’ve come up with an entire story arc, but so far we only have exact details up to the first appearance of Rarity.”
“Hey,” Pinkie Pie interjected, “You can’t spoil the story.”
Trixie grinned slyly at Pinkie Pie. Oh really, I can’t can I?
“Well then,” Trixie replied playfully. “I really shouldn’t tell Applejack about how she and Rarity hook up.”
For a moment Pinkie looked confused and then she laughed at Trixie’s little joke. Applejack’s jaw dropped and she stared wide-eyed at Trixie. Seeing Applejack’s expression was priceless and Trixie couldn’t help but laugh alongside Pinkie. It was still a little odd, but after her meeting with Snips and Snails she was still happy, her spirit hadn’t been killed quite yet.
“I’m glad to see you doing so well,” Timequill said happily. “And seeing you put so much work into something that you love… tell me, Trixie. When was the last time that you put so much effort into an art project?”
“Well, I’d hardly call this art,” Trixie admitted. “But it is common practice to take famous heroes and tell alternate universe stories about them. I’ve seen a few movies using this concept really well… still, I wouldn’t call it art.”
Applejack turned around and said, “Ah’m going to sit in the livin’ room.” With that Applejack was out, maybe the comment about her and Rarity was too much?
After giving it a moment to sit in, Trixie admitted quietly, “I haven’t actually put any real work into any projects since my first…” all of a sudden the words got caught in her throat. It was so easy to talk about when she was depressed, how could it be so hard to admit now? It’s not like Timequill didn’t already know after all. She closed her eyes and forced herself to say, “My first suicide attempt.
Timequill took a seat next to Trixie and placed a gentle hoof on her shoulder. She opened her watery eyes and looked into his, despite his obvious lack of sleep, his bright green eyes were so full of life and energy. It made her feel a little more comfortable to know that he was on her side.
“You’ve come a long way since then, Trixie. You might have had a few setbacks, but you are doing better than I’ve seen you in a year. You should take solace in that fact,” Timequill offered.
“Yeah, I know, but I just… it’s so hard when I know how much of a failure I’ve been,” Trixie admitted.
“You are not a failure, you’re just hurt. And emotional injuries take time to heal. You’re improving greatly though,” Timequill said. He waved a hoof over the table and its contents while saying, “Did you ever think you would be doing this again? Putting so much work into telling a story to children?”
All those pages on the table, all the time she spent having fun coming up with ideas, and the smiles she saw on Snips and Snails faces, all of it was something she had never thought she could do again. The mere idea of telling stories to kids again made her heart soar. Darkness had been the only thing she had known for such a long time now, but for first time in a long time she actually had hope for a bright future.
“You’re on the first steps to regaining your dreams, Trixie. If you keep this up, you will be able to do anything you want,” he explained.
Anything that I want, I wonder if that includes becoming a magician again?
With a smile Trixie said, “Thank you for coming over.”
“No problem. I’ll always be there for my patients,” Timequill said.
It’s so nice to talk to him like this again. I can still remember some of our earliest sessions. He never judged me, he was never mean to me. The only thing that he held in his heart was kindness. I even remember how strange it was when we first found the medications for my insanity … oh crap.
“Maud, I haven’t taken my meds in over two weeks!” Trixie exclaimed. Hastily she pushed herself away from the table took a step towards her room. I refuse to forget my meds again, I don’t ever want to hurt anypony I love again.
“Stop,” Timequill said.
Trixie stared at him, her eyes growing steadily wider. He couldn’t have seriously just told me that.
“Stop, stop, why should I stop?” Trixie quickly questioned.
“You haven’t taken your medication in over two weeks. If you go back to the same dosage you were at, it could prove harmful,” Timequill explained. He let the comment sink in for a moment before asking, “Let me ask you a question, do you feel strange or weird in anyway?”
“Of course I do! I’m insane and need meds to be okay,” Trixie replied. Why is he asking me this!
“Trixie, are you under the impression that you would have to be on medication all of your life?” Timequill asked gently.
“I’m not like other ponies,” Trixie answered. “I can’t heal myself and become normal again. If I don’t take meds I’m going to break, and then I’ll hurt somepony again.” Her entire body began shaking and she looked down at her hooves. Blurred memories about the last time she went without meds came back to haunt her. She could remember the rage she felt towards everything, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, even towards Maud. Furthermore she could remember lunging at Rainbow Dash, the feel of Rainbow Dash’s face against her hoof, and even the pain of head butting one of her dearest friends.
“Please,” Trixie begged pathetically, “Please don’t make me hit Rainbow Dash again.”
“Shh,” Maud said. Gently Maud wrapped her legs around Trixie and held her tightly while whispering, “It’s okay.”
Timequill’s voice was soft as he said, “Trixie, you will recover one day. I have faith in you, but if it helps, I’m not suggesting that you stop taking meds completely. I’m suggesting that we change your meds and try out something that won’t hinder your motivation.”
Trixie could only shake violently as she looked up at Timequill. Timequill had a prescription pad on the table and was writing out something on it. After he finished he tore the slip off and gave it to Maud. Applejack’s head was poking out from the living room and watching the situation with concern.
“Now I really don’t like prescribing this to ponies under the age of twenty six, but you’re a special case. Take this down to one of our local herbalist and they can get what you need. I’ve been meaning to change your medications for awhile now, but it took time for them to grow the plants,” Timequill explained.
“What is it?” Trixie asked, her voice was still a little shaky.
Timequill offered her a small smile. “It’s a specially bred plant that we’ve been doing research on for the past year or so. It’s proven very effective, and with far less side effects then your other medication.”
“Okay,” Trixie mumbled. Although she was beginning to calm down, she was still nervous. After everything that she had been through, it was hard to handle everything. At this point she wasn’t shaking out of fear for having not taken her medication. No, it was the break down that had her scared now. She loathed how she could so easily go from being happy, to breaking down like this.
“Trixie,” Timequill asked. “Would you like to start visiting me again?”
“Uh-huh,” Trixie replied. “C-can I come in tomorrow?”
“Of course you can. I’ll talk to Applejack and see what time we can work out if that’s okay with you?”
Trixie nodded. Just as Timequill turned to go and meet with her cousin in the living room, Trixie felt the need to ask, “Timequill, does Applejack still have to guard me?”
Timequill turned and smiled at her. “Do you want her to stop?”
Trixie looked down at her shaking body, Maud held her tightly but it didn’t seem to stop the shaking any. I just… I can’t even stop from myself from shaking. If I can still break down so suddenly like this, what would stop me from hurting myself again?
“No,” Trixie replied. “I still need her.”
Timequill nodded and offered, “When you’re ready, let us know.”
As Timequill vanished into the living room, Trixie couldn’t help but to bury her face into Maud’s chest. “I’m sorry I’m such a wreck, Maud.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I’ve been here for you since the beginning, and I’m not going to leave again,” Maud replied softly.