"Uhhhhh..." Lancie gulped, clinging tight to Rainbow Dash's saddlebag as the winds picked up, fiercer and fiercer. "Sparkyyyy?"
"Just hold on, dude!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "I gotta give this a shot!"
"Give what a shot, exactly?!"
"I said hold on—!"
And Rainbow Dash's teeth gnashed as she threw herself towards the sharp cliffs that marked the top of the widely-stretching plateau. The first gust of air nearly blew Lancie off like a feather. He dug his stone talons into the straps of the backpack and flailed. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash beat and blurred her wings—only to glide in place, stalled by the sheer force of the hurricane force winds.
"Rnnngh... gnnnnghhh!" Rainbow Dash's neck pulsed with throbbing arteries as every aching muscle struggled against the impossible forces. "Grkkkt-kkktt!"
"Enjoying your Dash Ball Z impression there, my little pony?!" Lancie bellowed into the tempest. "Face it! You're going nowhere fast! And if you ask me, that's a lousy thing to have etched onto your—"
"Gaaaaie!" Rainbow's wings collapsed. She fell, twirled, plummeted, and evened out at the last second. Fw-Fw-Fwump! She rolled to an awkward stop on stone earth, dropping Lancie against a patch of gravel behind her.
"—tombstone!" the statue wheezed, his stone eyes rotating in opposite directions. "Cantering continuums, girl!" He sat up, smacking the cobwebs out of his rocky skull. "Just what was that all about?!"
"I... figured... that I... could pierce my way... past them..." Rainbow panted and wheezed.
"Them what exactly?" Lancie folded his arms with an indignant glare. "I have to say—I don't recognize any of this nonsense." He smirked slightly. "Though the inexplicable nature of it is a snazzy touch."
"Mehhhh..." THUD! Rainbow collapsed on her flank, staring up into the sky.
"Honestly, this is about as new to me as new gets," Lancie said, rubbing his rigid goatee as he stared up at the windblown line of solid, rocky cliffs. The geological phenomenon stretched in front of them like a sheer wall. "That, and a few parking lots we flew over. Speaking of which, this place could certainly use a shopping mall or two to liven it up."
"Mrmmmfffgh... the Gusty Gates."
"I'm fine, how are you."
"No no... what I mean is..." Rainbow sat up, sighing. "I'm pretty sure these are the Gusty Gates."
"Pffft! I'd hope so!" Lancie smirked. "That'd be a lousy name for a toll road!"
"Lancie, I'm serious!" Rainbow frowned, then cast a lethargic gaze at the impenetrable cliffs. "Twilight told me about it. Out here, there's supposed to be long... long wall that permanently separates Equestria from the rest of the continent. It totally stretches on and on for—like—thousands of miles."
"And where was this snazzy thing when I was around last?!"
"It probably wasn't," Rainbow grumbled. "It was built only a few thousand years ago."
"Some whack-job built this mind-numbing thing?" Lancie whistled. "I must say, I'm impressed."
"According to Twi, While the ponies were busy dealing with Windigoes and cold snaps, the griffons were dealing with all of the other nasty-nasties that used to roam Equestria. Back then, even griffons had magic, and lots of monsters preyed on them for it." Rainbow pointed at the wall. "So, to keep them out of the land permanently, they built this Gusty Gate thingy with the very last bit of enchantment in their arsenal. It's kinda-sorta the griffons' very own Tartarus, only it works more like a huge fence that keeps bigflank monsters outside... instead of just, y'know, underground."
"Ahem..." Lancie folded his arms. "And how come you didn't think to mention this imposing piece of geometry beforehand?"
"Cuz I didn't friggin' think we'd be flying this far out!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "Honestly!" She hopped up to her hooves with a growl. "Tell me—are the shards beyond that?!"
"And how!"
"Ughhhh!" Rainbow stomped her hoof. "I'm... like... not out to free a giant yelling centaur or some big bass-singing globule of sentient slime!" She paced in a tight, angry circle. "All I wanna do is get past the Gate and reach dragon lands so I can yoink a sneeze-full of chaos shards from Aatxe! Is that so hard to friggin' ask for?!" she hollered west. Her voice echoed before being devoured by the rotating winds.
Lancie dug his stone ear. "Hrmmm... I think you're praying in the wrong direction, Sparky."
"Huh?"
"You said that the griffons built this shindig, hmmm?" Lancie shrugged. "I imagine every jailer has a key. It works the same for the ponies guarding Tartarus east of here, yes?"
"Lancie, I'm not about to ask the local griffons to open their big gusty wind prison just to let me through."
Lancie arched an eyebrow. "Not even for the Second Heir to the Freckletastic Throne?"
"Look, just shut up." Rainbow plucked him off the ground and stuffed him back into her saddlebag. "It's okay. For realsies." She smiled. "I've got a plan..."
"Hrnnnnngh-rrrrggghhhhh!" Rainbow Dash flew and strained and struggled against the cold, bitter winds. Her body inched closer, coming within ten feet of the jagged cliffside. "Grkkkkt-tkkkk-hkckkkkktt—" Her eyes bulged, and her wings gave way. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaiiieeee!"
Rainbow flew backwards, toppled east, and crash-landed hard through a sea of splashing gravel.
"Oooof!" She groaned, shuddering to a stop.
Lancie popped out of her bag, waving his arms dramatically. "Your plan was to try doing the same stupid thing twenty more times?!?"
"Mrfmmffnnngh..." Rainbow Dash tried standing up, but her limbs were too weak. "...rubitinwhydon'tcha..."
"Sparky, there's rubbing things in..." Lancie held one finger up, then two. "And then there's scraping the skin over your empty skull raw!"
Rainbow Dash wheezed, rolled over, and pulled a jar of potion out of her backpack. Struggling with tingly limbs, she finally popped a bottel open and took a liberal sip.
"Sparky, far be it from me to be the dismal deliverer of duldrums, but unless you come up with another plan and come up with it quick, then all you're going to do is throw your fruity ahead against the heartless elements while Applejack's sister rolls deeper and deeper into an early grave." He folded his stone arms. "Not that I don't mind a fearless display of absurdity, but you're the one committed to a death clock here, not me."
"Mrmmmfnngh..." Rainbow Dash screwed the cap shut and hugged the half-empty jar to her chest. "I... I'm sure I can make it over if I just..." She shuddered. "...fly harder."
"Sparky, it's not going to happen." Lancie's stone nostrils snorted. Then, with a sly grin, he pointed towards the crystalline spires looming off to the northeast. "Now... if those trees happen to house a hearty helping of harpies..."
"Unngh... for the last time..." Rainbow gritted her teeth. "We are not asking the Griffons for help here!"
"Well, to be perfectly frank, Sparky, what other choice do we have?" Lancie shrugged. "Flying around the wall could be an option. But... we're talking about an entire continent to deal with. You think Apple Bloom has a continent within her?"
"... ... ..."
Lancie propped his chin against his talon. "Just what do you have against the griffons anyway?" He smirked. "Was your family's village raided by a rampaging gang of turkeys when you were a foal?"
"NO!" Rainbow snorted, hugging the jar tighter as he avoided his gaze. "I just... h-have my reasons."
"Oh really...?"
"Yeah..."
"And are they sweet, drawling, apple-and-cinnamon-scented reasons?" His stone eyelashes fluttered. "Hmmmm...?"
Rainbow bit her lip. Tilting her head back, she stared upside down at the distant spires. A loathsome sigh escaped her muzzle, and by the time her breath was over it had turned into an anguished moan.