//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Part Four // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Chapter Three: Part Four Colgate stood in awe, and much confusion. For a pony who swore she had never been a commando (and insisted that the 'incident' at Deadmare didn't count), Bon-Bon's ability to navigate and avoid the pitfalls of a treacherous swamp was amazing. She even knew not to drink the swamp water, lest something called 'fungee ponees' find you. Granted, Colgate would have known better then to drink it anyway (who in Equestria would drink this stuff?), but the fact that it apparently causes hallucinations made the murky, and sometimes gooey, water all the more unappealing. Not to mention the smell. She shuttered to think what it would be like to treat a patient who had just drank this stuff, or made a habit of it. Lyra too was rather impressive. Which made Colgate wonder all the more how they had failed to remain hidden when they had followed them into the Everfree. Both ponies (well, pony and giant winged not-a-claw-or-talon thing) were graceful. Bon-Bon's ability to weave between trees and leap from root to root never ceased to impress Colgate. And Lyra's ability to maneuver her flying self through the thick tress and vines of the swamp was nothing short of surprising and astounding. This, of course, was saying nothing of their ability to work together. It seemed as though they could practically read each others minds. Without word or prompting, Lyra would fly above the trees from time to time, and descend to to give Bon-Bon a wordless report of what she saw. Not only that, often one would catch the other mid-swing or pull a branch out of the way just in time for the other. Watching the two of them was almost like watching two parts of the same whole. It was simply amazing. And it totally made her jealous, not to mention miffed. Sure, they could flow through the swamp like it was no big deal, but she and Berry were the ones slowing everypony up! For every graceful leap or bound those two did, a curse or stumble would come from either Colgate or Berry. To say it was frustrating would be an understatement. Not only that, but the other two would have to either sit and wait for the two of them to catch up, or would have to backtrack to avoid losing them As a result, their progress through the swamp was slow. A fact that annoyed Lyra and Bon-Bon. Though, at first, they did their best to hide that fact. By the time the group needed to stop for a breather, their annoyance was bleeding through like water through a cracking dam. Still, they held their tongues. Rather, Bon-Bon took the opportunity to educate them even further on the dangers of the swamp, “When night falls, don't follow the lights. Those things are Whinny-the-Wisps. They usually leave ponies alone, but if you try to get a closer look, they will lead you deeper into the swamp until you loose the trail.” “We're following a trail?” Berry asked. “RIGHT?” Lyra responded, hopping up and down for emphasis, “But yeah, we totally are.” “I don't see it.” Colgate said. Bon-Bon's eye almost twitched. “Trust us, there is one.” Then she paused, and then looked at Lyra. “Lyra, where are we actually going?” “Don't ask me. I was just following you.” “And I you...” Bon-Bon trailed off. The only face that did not meet a hoof was Lyra's, for she currently lacked both face and hoof to connect. “Colgate, do you still have that map?” Bon-Bon asked, looking at her. “I think so.” She help up her hoof and focused on it. After a moment, an old scroll popped into being on top of her hoof. It was a strange sensation. Nothing at all like the simple summoning spells that she's used from time to time. It was magic alright, but magic that was apart from her. Did the map itself have its own magic? Now was not the time for such speculations. Rather, now was the time for opening said map. As she rolled it open on a mostly dry(ish) spot on the ground, she felt an odd sensation. The map itself showed Equestria in startling detail. She, however, felt a sudden sense that she knew exactly where she needed to go. She just didn't know exactly how to get there. And by exactly where to go, it was more like she knew the exact distance and direction they needed to travel. It was east southeast of where they were, and if they walked straight (and there wasn't a swamp between them and their destination) it would take them roughly three days. With this swamp, it was anypony's guess how long it would tak- “I think I know where that is.” Bon-Bon said, much to Colgate's sudden surprise. Did she just read her thoug- “It might not be the same place Bon-Bon.” Lyra responded. What in Equestria? She looked down at them (wait, when she look up?) with a confused look. “What are you two talking about? Did you just read my mind?” she was mildly concerned that the answer was going to be yes. “What? No. Why would you think that?” Bon-Bon asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well, how did you know where I was thinking of?” Colgate asked. “What're you talking about? We were looking at the map.” Lyra answered pointing at the ground (if she had a hoof to point with anyway. As it was, she kinda just leaned forward a bit). Colgate blinked a few times, then looked down. The map no longer showed Equestria, but a small section of Hayseed. On the map it showed a bird's eye-view of what looked to be overgrown pyramids poking out between large trees. “Wh-What is that?” she exclaimed. “The last place we went to when Lyra and I were hear before.” Bon-Bon said gravely. “I'm telling you, it could be someplace completely different.” Lyra said, almost annoyed. “You saw the direction the map moved. You saw how far it was. It has to be the same place.” Bon-Bon insisted. “Mind filling us in?” Berry asked. Bon-Bon and Lyra presumably shared a look. Then Lyra let out a small sigh. “Yeah, sure, though it's not much of a story.” she said, her shape turning a slight shade of red. “Indeed. We spent most of the time running and screaming.” Bon-Bon said with some difficulty. It was clear that it was a bit embarrassing for both of them. “To, uh, make a long story short, after what happened the last time we were at Deadmare, we kinda ran screaming for our lives directly into the swamp.” Lyra began, sheepishly. “And just kept running and running and running.” Bon-Bon continued, as she lowered her head in shameful shame. “And, well, when you're running like that, and you're surrounded by thick trees like this, you kinda loose track of how long you've been running. After all, you kinda can't really see the sun all that well here.” Lyra shrugged (figuratively of course). “As a result, we have no idea how long we ran for, but we do know which direction we ran, and I'm telling you, it's the same place!” Bon-Bon said, rather insistent that she was correct (though she appeared rather unhappy with that idea). “And I'm telling you that we don't know that! We don't know how many places in this huge swamp have ancient pyramids, okay? For all we know, they could be all over the place and we just happened to get unlucky!” Lyra shot back. “Anyway!” Bon-Bon almost shouted, “The point is that eventually we ran into a group of pyramids that surrounded a clearing.” “There wasn't a clearing where the map showed us!” Bon-Bon was clearly annoyed that Lyra had just interrupted her. “It doesn't matter Lyra! And if you could be troubled to remember something properly for once, the trees in that part of the swamp were very tall and very wide and very, very broad canopies. And, if you can clear out the fog that seems to have filled your brain, you will remember that the clearing was covered by the canopy above it!” Bon-Bon snapped at Lyra. Colgate got the feeling that Lyra rolled her eyes in a none-too-friendly manner. “No, you're wrong. We could feel the sun, remember? You had to shield your eyes to look around? You said it felt good to feel the sun again?” Lyra's voice was worryingly devoid of her usual light-hearted manner. “Uh, so about these pyramids?” Colgate interjected, hoping to dispel some of the storm clouds brewing in the air. “Yes, Lyra, what about the pyramids?” Bon-Bon's voice was far too acidic. “No, no. Go ahead. You clearly remember it much better then I do. So, please, by all means, don't let me stop you.” Lyra countered. Bon-Bon's good eye twitched dangerously. Thankfully, it only did so once. “Fine.” she turned her head away from her and looked at Berry. “So, around this clearing there were four-” “Five.” “EXCUSE ME?” Bon-Bon shouted as she turned back to Lyra. “There were five pyramids.” Lyra corrected her again. “LYRA HEARTSTRINGS! WHO IS TELLING THIS STORY?” Bon-Bon bellowed. Lyra promptly turned around to face the other way (though, her lacking a face made it hard to be sure which way she was facing). “Well, pardon me for trying to make sure that they got the right version.” “Lyra. Don't.” Bon-Bon threatened. There was a long silence that followed her harsh words. “As I was saying before I was interrupted,” Bon-Bon turned back to Berry, “there were four pyramids,” Lyra twitched slightly, but said nothing, “around this clearing. Since we were absent of our senses, we thought that it would be a good idea to try and take shelter in one of them. We thought the largest and most prominent one would be too obvious, so we picked the second smallest one to hide in. Well, inside we found nothing more then a labyrinth of monsters and other horrors.” “Why didn't you just leave and go to another one?” Colgate asked. “We figured it wasn't safe to leave it. That, and the entrance had sealed itself shut behind us. Though, at the time, we didn't know that.” Bon-Bon shrugged. “That, and, uh … we got lost...” she looked down once more, none-too-pleased to have admitted that. “Correction. You got lost.” Lyra said. Both Berry and Colgate moved with speed that surprised them both as they suddenly appeared between Lyra and Bon-Bon, standing upright with forelegs spread to block Bon-Bon's leap of rage at Lyra. “Ignore her Bon-Bon!” Berry pleaded, “Please, just keep going!” “Only if she promises to stay quiet!” Bon-Bon pointed an angry hoof at the thing that her two friends were blocking her from mauling. “Lyra?” Berry asked. “I've done nothing wrong.” she said in a 'and that's that!' tone of voice. “Well, that might be so, but could you please at least wait until Bon-Bon is done?” Colgate asked as nicely as she could. “Humph.” It was more of a noise then a word that came from Lyra, but Colgate took it to mean 'sure' all the same. Colgate then turned to Bon-Bon and smiled nervously. Bon-Bon closed her eye and turned her head angrily to the side before she continued. “At length, we finally made it to what we figured was the center chamber. And there...” she trailed off as her face suddenly began to grow pale. “We found a giant spider queen.” Lyra said, turning around to face Berry and Colgate, who, in turn, faced her as well. “A what?” Berry said. “A spider queen.” Lyra replied. “So, a huge spider surrounded with webs and giant egg sacks?” Colgate asked. The thought both intrigued her, and also unsettled her a little. “What? No. Not at all. We found a mummy of an old queen who ruled over a kingdom of giant and tiny spiders. She was actually kinda friendly. Well, right up until Bon-Bon here freaked out and started screaming at the top of her lungs.” she then leaned in close, “She's arachnophobia.” she whispered. “She's afraid of spiders?” Berry asked. “Big time. Like, she straight-up can't be around them, or else she starts having panic attacks.” Lyra clarified. “So, you mean she actually has a legitimate phobia of spiders?” Colgate asked, casting a glance back at Bon-Bon who was currently trying her best to regain her composure. “Yep. She totally does. You shoulda seen her the Nightmare Night Princess Luna came! She didn't go outside for three days afterward.” Colgate was pretty sure that Lyra was shaking her head right now. “Anyway, so after she started freaking out, the queen freaked out, and then then last thing I remember was a whole lot of screaming and I'm pretty sure something like a ceiling fell or perhaps a wall or two, or something. I don't know. All I know is that I woke up a few days later in a hospital in Canterlot. That, and everything would have been fine, if Bon-Bon here hadn't screwed everything up!” she hopped once, and Colgate could feel her anger finally burst. “What did you say?” Bon-Bon growled behind them. “I said everything would have been fine if YOU hadn't screwed it all up!” Lyra accused. “Well if YOU hadn't decided to follow those cowponies to Deadmare in the first place, none of that would have happened to begin with!” “Oh yeah? AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME FRANKEN-PONY EXPERIMENT!” Lyra screamed. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?” Bon-Bon screamed back. It was at this point both Berry and Colgate realized it was no longer wise to stay between the two of them. Not that it mattered anyway, for Bon-Bon lept over their heads and slammed into Lyra. It didn't take long for the two of them to vanish beyond eyesight into the swamp, though the sounds of their rather bitter battle carried through the air and shook the leaves and slimy branches of the trees. The two of them listened as the two struggled and fought each other with an energy and brutality that would make even the most savage of trainable monsters pause in appreciation. They heard the sounds of animals fleeing for their dear lives as they progressed through the terrain. They heard the sounds of exploding trees and splintering wood as though somepony had decided to clear out the swamp with a cannon. And, of course, they heard all of the lovely things the two of them said to each other as they attempted to destroy one another. Most of it was unintelligible, and the rest was, well, rather rude to put it mildly. “So, I guess there's nothing we can do until they're done, is there?” Berry asked Colgate. They both sat down and looked at each other. “I guess not.” Colgate said. “How long do you think they'll be like that?” Berry asked. “I have no idea. I hope not too long.” Colgate frowned and looked at the ground. “Think you can patch them up afterward?” Berry looked back at the sounds of the natural disaster that was their two friends. Colgate looked up at the direction it was currently coming from. “I hope so. If not, then hopefully I can teach Lyra how to do it.” “So I guess we're just waiting?” Berry looked back at Colgate. She let out a sigh, and looked back at Berry. “I guess so.” And so, with nothing else to do, they waited.