Chapter 1:
I stood outside the Ponyville library. Oh, Celestia, the memories of the Canterlot library. In years past, with Twilight Sparkle, Moondancer, and I, we all played around in the library. Okay, Twilight mainly studied, and Moondancer mainly ‘partied’. I tried to stand around Twilight without it being too obvious. Good thing she’s such a diligent reader, she didn’t even notice when I tried complementing her mane. Cel, that mane is glorious. I really like her mane. It’s probably my favorite feature, aside from, oh, you know, everything. I could just sit there for hours, just counting the points on her cutie mark. I remember the day she caught me counting, and hit me with her book. She shouted something along the lines of “Why are you staring at my flank?!”. I was speechless, she was talking to me. This is what I had wanted since I realized I was a fillyfooler. While all my friends, basically Moondancer, were chasing random colts, I was here. In the library. Trying to seduce a mare that I was convinced thought of nothing but studying.
Then I realized she was staring me in the face, with a look of confusion on her face. “Hi. Can I help you?” Welp. “You were standing there for ten minutes, looking inquisitive.” Well, that cover’s blown. I manage to say hi, “Hi, Tw-Twilight. How’s it going?” Dear Princess Celestia, I stuttered. I was so embarrassed, especially in front of her, that I just wanted to run and hide in a bush, but I didn’t. I stood my ground.
“I’m doing pretty good,” she said. “However, the library isn’t open for another twenty minutes. What are you doing here?”
Gotta think of an excuse. Gotta think of an excuse, I though. “I’m uh, here to... borrow some shampoo?” I cringed inwardly at the transparency of the excuse. There’s absolutely no way that an intelligent pony like Twilight would fall for that miserable level of excuse.
“Oh, okay.” She said, gesturing through the open door into her library house. “Right this way.” Oh Celestia, oh Celestia, what do I do? She’s inviting me in! “What are you waiting for?” She asked. I might’ve been a little scared “Aren’t you here to borrow some shampoo?” Oh, right, the shampoo.
“What?! Shampoo? I don’t wash my mane!” Well, that was embarrassing. “I mean, of course I do!” Oh god I’m an idiot.
“Well, then, what are you here for, then?” Twilight looked at me like I was an idiot. She was probably tired. I hope. Celestia knows what she is capable of doing when she’s tired.
“I wanted to ask you a questian.” I accidentally pronounced the word question with an a, making it sound more like I was talking about a quest.
“Is that a question about a quest?”
“Yes.” I said, semi sarcastically. “I’m here to give you a quest to fight off the infamous Nightmare Moon-straight from the Princess Celestia herself!” From the Princess Celestia? What the actual buck is wrong with me? When I’m with anyone else, Moondancer for instance, I’m the quickest mare in Canterlot. Here, I’m worse than Luna at a cheese convention!
“Princess Luna has become Nightmare Moon again?” Twilight looked confused, like she had seen a ghostpony. She turned back into her house.“Luna?! Apparently you’re Nightmare Moon again!” she shouted into the depths of the house.
“Really? When did that happen? I was not informed of this.” Oh...oh my. It’s Princess Luna. Twilight is going to see through my lies! I mean, not that it’s a very deep lie, of course. You could easily see through it because if Luna, Princess Luna, I mean, was Nightmare Moon, it’d be nighttime! And nighttime means the sun would not be up, which it is. Oh, Celestia, your sun is beautiful. Ouch, stop staring into it! You look like an idiot, Twinkleshine! Oh god, don’t look away, she’ll know something is up! Oh, I’m so glad it’s daytime!
“Twinkleshine? Maybe you should stop staring at the sun, it’s bad for your vision.” Twilight said, rather bluntly. “Why don’t you come inside? You’re obviously not feeling well, you know, showing up at my door, standing outside for ten minutes, then staring at Celestia’s sun.” Oh, I guess now I have to come in! So I walked inside. And into the kitchen. She had two cups on the table, one for her, and one for Luna, it seemed. “So, you obviously don’t want to borrow my shampoo, and I suppose you’re not here to mow my lawn, are you?” It was only then I realized the library had no lawn.
“Yes. No, wait. No. What’s the correct answer?” I sounded like an idiot. Which I was.
Just then, I heard a bump. Was it my heart? Apparently not. “I’ll be right back, seems Spike is awake. Do you want to come in and collect your thoughts before you ask me whatever in Equestria you want to ask me?” Apparently Spike was sick.
“Um, no thanks. I’ll stay here and keep the Princess company.” Oh Luna, what would I say to the Princess?!
“Did I hear you praying to me?” Luna asked, startling me something terrible.
“Uhh....no? I don’t pray to anypony!” Oh Luna, not again!
“Are you saying I’m not a pony?” Luna had a growing look of intensity
“Umm... kind of? Please don’t send me to the Sun! Or Moon. I beg of you!”
Luna went from godlike fury, to a simple, extraordinarily pleasant smile. “Well, it’s nice to know that I can still instill fear in somepony besides Pipsqueak!” She let out a rather charming chuckle. “I was only joking, my little pony, I’d love to stay and converse with you while Twilight checks on her ailing Spike.” Her smile seemed, friendly.
My smile was weak and nervous. “Thank you, your majesty.” Oh Lord, this was it.
“No need for the formalities, we can talk here as equals.” I smiled, this was going to be easier than I thought. Twilight’s tail brushed me slightly as she passed, and I’m surprised Luna didn’t comment on the two tomatoes growing on my cheeks. “So, you’re Twinkleshine?”
“Yes,” Luna was about to reply, but I cut her off. I felt so dirty. “I’m sorry, Miss Luna, but I have something important to ask you.”
“Oh? What would that be?”
“It’s the reason I came here in the first place, it’s about...another pony.” It was about Twilight, “So I’ll propose to you a question. Say you were a pony with fairly high confidence. Or, at least you tell yourself you do.” Luna looked at me skeptically, but allowed me to continue, “Except around one pony. Because you like him, but are too nervous to tell her. I mean him.” Luna nodded, seeing what Twinkleshine’s intention veiled underneath the question. “What would you do?”
Luna casually lowered herself down a little. “Well, first, I would meet that person alone.” She looked me right in the eye, “Then I would say I needed to talk to him, and sit down, and tell him.”
“Tell him what?”
“I would tell him that I liked him. A lot. I would tell him as truthfully and sincerely what my true feelings are for him, and ask him if he feels the same way.” Luna was so kind, not the merciless horrorterror that the Foal Free Press makes her out to be. “Perhaps you could rehearse with me what you’re going to say, and then when Twilight comes back, she can help as well.” I visibly nervoused. I was so nervous I made up a word! That’s a good one, I’ll have to get them to accept it into the Oxpony Common Dictionary. Or not.
“Oh. Okay. You ready?” Luna nodded, “Alright. Dear Mr Pony, I like you. Do you like me back?” I nervoused in my pants. Except that I don’t wear pants. The awkwardness has been doubled.
“No, no. Too blunt. Try it more like this. Excuse me, Dear Mr Pony, if I may have your attention for a few brief moments. It has come to my attention that my thoughts you do consume an extraordinarily vast percentage of. Are these that I do have feelings mutual between us?” Luna took a second to let me absorb what she had said. “There,” she said. “Now, you may attempt a to practice on me.”
I thought back to all the time I dreamed about Twilight. How was I supposed to put all of these feelings into simple works? However, with the princess right in front of me, what I wanted to say seemed to flow much more freely than it had in front of Twilight. “Okay, Dear Mr Pony, my feelings for you are vast, and I would enjoy your extended company later this evening, if you would be so inclined.”
“No, no. That sounds like you’re propositioning him for sex!” Luna said, well, she was kinda right. “Not that your intention is necessarily far from that.” she gave me a wink. “Be more, sounding like a date, less like a flank call.”
“Oh, okay,” Alright, I think I could do that. “Well, I’ll try again.”
As I speak, however, Twilight walks into the room, “Okay, Spike should be set for now. what were you just talking to Luna about, may I ask?”
“Oh, uh.” I turned back towards Luna, who looked at me naïvely I then turned back to Twilight, took a deep breath, and began speaking. “Oh, uh, nothing really.”
Twilight looked at me a bit confused, but spoke up disregarding it really. “Oh, well, what did you want to ask me?” She looked so innocent, so pure. Her eyes sparkled with the intensity of Celestia’s sun, but it wasn’t blinding, well, in a way it was, it was beautiful. Beautiful like a glistening amethyst, my favorite jewel. Everytime I look into into her beautiful eyes-I’m saying beautiful too much. And getting off topic.
“I-uh-will you go out on a date with me?” Twilight’s pupils shrank, her jaw hung. I heard the very unique sound of a facehoof from somewhere behind me. Needless to say, I think that was my cue to leave. I was so nervous, I nervoused again. Wait, that isn’t a word! The silence seemed to stretch off into infinity.
Luna coughed, rather cutely I may add. “Well, thank you for the stay, Twilight; I’ll be sure to keep in contact. Twinkleshine, I’d love to take you to brunch one day. But, I must be off, important Royal Duties and the like.” Luna said. I also turned to leave, my ears flattening as I walked away without saying anything. As I was about to leave the room, however, Twilight stopped me with a gentle hoof on my shoulder.
“Sure. I’d love to.”