The Weed

by kudzuhaiku


When a weed and a rock entwine

The wagon moved along at a brisk pace and the road was, for the most part, smooth. Tarnished Teapot sat in the back of the wagon and watched the world go by, all the while stealing glances at Maud while doing his best to appear not to be looking at her. Looking at her made his heart race and it took effort to keep himself calm.

Tarnish had discovered that Maud was the strongest in the family, so it was she who was pulling the wagon at the moment. Igneous and Cloudy walked together, side by side, both of them wearing their best hats into town. Pinkie Pie, Limestone, and Marble were all ahead, walking together.

Much to Tarnish’s relief, it was easy to keep his magic in check. As the wagon continued onwards, he thought about this in the back of his mind, having reached the conclusion that his magic was behaving because he had been using it on a regular basis and he wasn’t backed up.

He heaved a contented sigh and without realising it, his gaze settled upon Maud’s muscular backside, which rocked back and forth in the most pleasing manner as she pulled the wagon. Even covered in her smock, it was quite pleasant to look at. Tarnish’s thoughts drifted. For some reason, the smock made Maud’s backside even more appealing, but Tarnish could not say why.

Maud had all of the same needs as any other pony. She had said that and the words now echoed in Tarnished Teapot’s teenaged colt brain. He thought of her long eyelashes. Her lean muscles. The slow but still somehow appealing way that she blinked, hiding away her eyes for a long moment and then making Tarnish glad to see them when they opened.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Startled, Tarnish almost fell out of the wagon and felt a strong foreleg wrap around his middle, pulling him back in. He hadn’t even noticed Pinkie Pie getting into the wagon or creeping up beside him.

“I… I was… was thinking.” It was all Tarnish could do to blurt out a frustrated stammer.

Tilting her head, Pinkie Pie peered ahead and then turned around to look at Tarnish. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

Unable to reply, Tarnish began to wonder just how purple he was turning. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, because he felt as though his heart was going to explode inside of his barrel at any second. He heard snickering and realised that Limestone and Marble were walking beside the wagon.

Pinkie Pie placed her hoof alongside her muzzle, leaned over, and whispered, “Maud is an attractive pony. You’re a colt. You’re supposed to want to look at her.” Pinkie Pie glanced ahead at her sister, then back once more at Tarnish. “Do you want to know why she wears her smock?”

Tarnish felt his body betray him as his head gave an enthusiastic nod.

“She sunburns easily. She has a fine, thin, silky pelt, the sort of pelt that feels so nice to hug. She is very soft and snuggly, trust me, as her baby sister, I know. Since she spends a lot of time outdoors, she had to find someway of protecting her soft, supple skin.” Pinkie Pie dropped her hoof away from her mouth, smiled, and then leapt out of the wagon, landing beside Marble.

Taking a deep breath, Tarnish felt a little too hot and flustered. Silky pelts, supple skin, it was too much for his mind to deal with. He laid down upon his stomach in the wagon, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. He needed to calm down and think about other things… things not silky nor supple, or wearing a smock.


Foalsom Springs was a quiet, sleepy little town that existed outside of Fillydelphia and would no doubt be swallowed up by the bigger city one day. One could see the tall buildings of Fillydelphia on the distant horizon. It existed as a watering hole a long time ago before the railroads, or at least that was what the historical marker sign said.

There were several roads here, including one that went down to Baltimare. The town itself clustered around the crossroads. The buildings were made in a curious style that combined wood and brick. The tallest building in town was five stories tall and had a sign on the top that read ‘Pacer’s Dry Goods.’ The sign looked old, but well cared for. There was a rail yard, quite a number of houses as well as cottages that circled the town, and there was one imposing building made of grey stone that had a sign that said ‘Sawyer’s and Sons Books and Barrels.” After reading the sign, Tarnish could not help but feel a little confused. In Ponyville, there was a store that sold sofas and quills. Here, there was a store that sold books and barrels.

“Do you like what you see?”

Closing his eyes, Tarnish did not know how to answer the question. He could hear Maud breathing right beside him. She had crept up on him, very much like Pinkie Pie had done when he had not been paying attention.

“Come on Tarnish, every mare wants to know that they are pretty,” Maud said in a flat monotone. “I know you were looking at me, I heard you and my sister talking.”

My ears are on fire, Tarnish thought to himself. What do I say? Opening his eyes, Tarnish turned his head to have a look at Maud. She was much closer to him than he realised and his snoot almost bumped into hers. He could feel her breathing on him. He began to feel far too warm and he began to sweat. Tarnish had no way of knowing if Maud was being serious right now or having a bit of a go at him. There was no way to tell. There were no external signs whatsoever that told him anything about Maud’s motives.

“Maud, I can’t tell what you are feeling and sometimes it scares me,” Tarnish admitted, his honest feelings slipping out. He hadn’t intended to say that, but it just sort of happened.

“Right now, I feel like a scared little filly wondering if the colt she likes likes her,” Maud replied in the same monotonous voice that she always spoke in. Maud blinked and then looked Tarnish in the eye. “I don’t feel like a grown up mare. Not at all. I feel nervous and weird.”

“I don’t know when you are teasing me, or being serious, and I feel really insecure.”

“That’s two of us. Tarnish, I am so anxious that I can’t stand it.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Tarnish tried to reconcile what Maud had just said with the fact that her voice sounded as though she was about to die at any moment from boredom. Staring at Maud, it took several long moments before Tarnish noticed something. Every muscle in her neck stood out and appeared to be taut. She looked rigid and stiff. It was not something one would notice unless one was looking and paying attention. Each muscle appeared to be tensed up and no doubt, Maud appeared to be suffering some distress. For Tarnish, it was the first sign that he had seen that showed him that Maud felt something. Without thinking, he stuck out his snoot and touched her neck, pressing the soft pad of flesh at the end of his nose against her.

He heard a soft almost imperceptible gasp from Maud and felt her muscles tighten up even more. Standing there with his snoot pressed against her, Tarnish came to the slow and panic inducing realisation that he was touching her again. He didn’t know what to do. From what little bit that Tarnish knew about fillies and mares, if they didn’t act interested, you were supposed to stop. It was impossible to tell what Maud wanted or if she was interested. There was no way of knowing. He started to pull away…

“Don’t stop…”

Tarnish froze. Maud’s voice sounded the way it always did. She sounded bored and disinterested, but after speaking, she took a step sideways towards Tarnish, pushing herself closer. Feeling brave, Tarnish tilted his head and rubbed his cheek against her neck.

“Oh, that feels nice…”

There was a flash of light which caused Tarnish to blink. He stood there, not knowing what to do, his cheek still pressed against Maud’s neck, when he heard Pinkie Pie say, “Maud looks so happy.” He then heard a few sniffles from behind him.

“Who’s up for a movie?” Limestone asked in a cheerful voice. She seemed oblivious to the awkward romance taking place. “Two films start within the hour. The first one is The Barn in the Woods which is a horror film and the second one is Prancedance, a story about a tough single mare who works as a welder that dances her way to fame and fortune in the gritty nightclubs of Manehatten.”

Tarnish heard none of this. He stood on three legs with his cheek still pressed up against Maud’s neck, and he could feel that she had relaxed a little bit, her muscles not being quite so taut. He could feel Maud’s hot breath against his neck.

“Look Igneous, they’re necking, that’s adorable… who would have thought our sweet little Maud Pie would find herself a suitor to neck with? Pinkie, take another picture!” Cloudy said in an excited voice.

“Right now, I want to die of embarrassment,” Maud said in a low deadpan. “Come on Tarnish, let’s go see a movie.”

“Okay Maud,” Tarnish replied, giving the stony mare a final nuzzle upon her neck before pulling away.

There was a flash as Pinkie Pie took another picture…